Max asks my friends and I to help set up the party, so we drive over straight after school to join the small group helping to set up drinks areas, hiding valuables and breakables, moving furniture and building a bonfire in the garden, because apparently that's the new must thing for high school parties.
"Hey." He pulls us each into a big hug, leaving an arm around both Mille and me as he guides us into the kitchen. "So, this is the bar area, I need you two to make sure the cups and drinks are all spread out, that ok? Kev and Sam are bringing the crates in from the car."
"Sure." He winks at us and then takes Italia and Corrine into the next room as we get to work.
"Would you judge me if I slept with him tonight?" Millie asks, grouping drinks by type on the counter. "Well, try anyway."
"No, go for it. He's so sweet." I grab the cups and make the executive decision to group them in tens near the drinks.
"I will." She smiles to herself, obviously thinking about how to make it happen while she sets up the rest of the drinks. It's clear she's more interested in Max than being with him for just the one night and I hope I can help then get together.
*
"We're done, what's next?" I call to Max as he passes through to check our progress.
"Next is for you ladies to make yourselves even more beautiful." He winks at me and I find myself grinning back at him, stepping back and nudging Millie forwards so she's between the two of us. "Follow me and I'll show you to my room, it's got an ensuite if you want to shower first?"
"Marry me, Max." Millie laughs and he swings his arm around her neck.
"What about you Lea? You wanna put your proposal in before I accept Millie?" He grabs me with his other hand, pulling me under his arm. Millie looks momentarily disappointed before hiding it behind a bright smile.
"Oh Max, we've got it all planned out, Millie's going to marry you, I'll marry Jack, then we'll divorce you both and live in the house together with a bunch of cats."
"Stinky cats." Millie adds and we both laugh.
"Hey, I'm better than a bunch of stinky cats, don't I get a say in this?" Max exclaims. Millie and I look at each other and both simultaneously shout 'no' before bursting out laughing. He grins down at us and then pulls us closer. " Fair enough, as long as I know where I stand."
"Hey, who's standing where?" Italia and Corrine come running up behind us, dipping their heads and pushing between us to take our places under his arms.
"So, you know how much we love you, Max?" Corrine bats her eyelashes at him and he rolls his eyes. "Kevin said you were taking these two to your room to shower and change and we thought we could join?"
"Yes, come on." He pushes a door open and half bows to allow us to go in. "I bet you two wouldn't trade me in for a stinky cat."
"What?" Italia laughs, giving us all an odd look.
"Nothing." The others rush into the room and he runs his hand over my arm as I pass him. "Come fine me when you're downstairs, I'll get you a drink, ok?"
"Uh, yes, sure we will." I reply, hoping he meant all of us and not just me.
"I'm definitely going to marry, Maxwell." Millie announces, stretching out on his enormous bed. "Can you believe the size of this place?"
"Not if I get there first." Italia says, jumping in the air and landing on the other side of the bed. "Oh lordy, this bed. It's the comfiest bed in the universe, I might just spend the party here."
"Well, while you get weird in Max's bed, I'm going to shower and beautify." I blow them both kisses and open the ensuite, my mouth dropping open. "Oh shit, you should see the size of the shower, we could all fit in here together."
After investigating the range of shampoos, including the ladies shampoo that looks so new I'm pretty sure he bought it just for us, I jump into the shower, walking back into his room in just a towel.
"That shower is so good, I'm pretty sure it's a massage one too." Corrine runs in after me and I lie on the bed beside the others, sinking into the mattress. "Ok, you're right, let's just stay here all night."
"Sorry ladies, are you all decent? I forgot my clothes." Max knocks on the door and Italia shouts that he can come in.
As soon as he steps inside he stares at the three of us on his bed, his eyes lingering on my bare legs and I'm incredibly conscious of how naked I am, until Italia speaks again.
"So, we've decided your bed is too comfy, we're staying here for the party."
"Maybe forever." Millie adds and he breaks into a massive grin.
"Anything I say to that is going to make me sound like a perv. So, I'm going to leave before I say something like, I wouldn't mind sharing my bed with four beautiful women." He smiles at us all one more time and then I'm sure that just before he hurries out of the door he gives me a meaningful look. As soon as he's gone, I jump up and get dressed, whatever he's feeling, I'm not, and I hate these situations, not that it's happened much before, no one asks me out much, but on the odd occasion it has, I hate having to turn down someone I just see as a friend and that's all I see when I look at Max. Just a friend.
*
We wander downstairs together and grab drinks before heading outside where Jack is lighting the bonfire. Instantly I down my drink and my friends all pass me theirs, encouraging me to drink them for a bit of Dutch courage, telling me to go for it while they're getting refills and that they'll come back and see how I'm getting on.
We decide on me talking about visiting Australia as a code for it's 'all going wrong please come and help me' and then they're walking away and I'm moving closer.
"Hey Leanna, long time no see, how's it going?" Jack looks up and sees me, slipping the lighter in his pocket and chucking a piece of wood on top. "You're all grown up."
"Hi Jack, yeah all good, how're you? How's uni?" I take a few steps towards him and he breaks into a friendly smile.
"It's good, nice to be back and see everyone though." He slings his arm around me and guides me to some chairs to sit outside and chat. "You must be thinking about where to go now?"
We talk about uni stuff for a while, my friends appear behind his head, hovering around and listening in, then wandering away when it's apparent it's all going ok.
I haven't gotten the courage up to ask him out yet, but I've promised myself that within the hour I will do.
Max's house is a short walk from Adam's, so we get there about 9pm and the party's already in full swing. The living room is filled with a mass of bodies rubbing all over each other as they dance and I can hear a group chanting "chug, chug, chug," in the kitchen while a guy is drinking from an oversized glass tankard. "Kev says there's a bonfire in the garden." Callum says, so, grabbing some beers, we wander through the rooms towards the backdoor. Somehow, despite the horde of people outside, the first thing I see is Leanna sitting and laughing with Max's brother Jack. A pang of jealousy spikes through me and recently I'm finding it harder to suppress whatever residual feelings are lingering from when we were younger. "What're you going to do to her?" Adam sniggers, following my line of vision and
I wake up feeling like a zombie, my head aches, my stomach is threatening to revolt with every movement and my body feels like it belongs to someone else. I've got vague memories of the night before but it's so hazy I'm not sure what's real and what was a dream. "How're you feeling?" Kim puts a cup of tea on the table and although I know she didn't slam it down, the sound ricochets around my brain. "Like death." I croak. "What happened?" "Jake reckons you were spiked, Millie said you were fine before you left her and it was less than half an hour between that and Nathan finding you in Max's bed." "What? Max?" I try to sort through the memories in my head and a fuzzy one where Max and I are kissing in his room seems to hover at the forefront. "Oh god, I didn't, did I?
Leanna looks white as a sheet when she comes out of the room with the tarot woman and I'm worried about what's going on, but then Ms Jewkes is calling my name and gesturing for me to follow her.I have no idea why I'm here, I don't believe in this stuff and the weird stick thing she's burning is making me anxious, it's like I can't breathe properly which is the opposite of what should happen or so I'm told.She gestures to a seat and asks me to sit down, then puts an oversized pack of cards in front of me and tells me to shuffle until I feel ready to split them into three. I do as she asks, because I don't want to be rude, but the whole time I'm wondering what amount of shuffle time is appropriate, in the end I go for slightly longer than I feel I should, just so I don't look like I'm not taking this seriously."Ok
It's the last week before half term, then we'll be going off skiing all together and for the first time in years, Nathan and I are friends again.I'm beyond excited!I hop in my car, singing along to the radio as I drive the short distance to school. My friends are waiting near the school gates and Max is hovering nearby."Do you need us to stay?" Italia hisses to me when he starts walking over."Leanna, can we talk?" He sounds nervous and I try to remind myself that he didn't do it on purpose, he didn't know, it's not his fault. He's a good guy."I'll catch up with you guys in a second." I tell my friends and Max waits until they're far enough away not to overhear before he starts s
I hate that I've resorted to this, but I saw Leanna and Max together on Monday and it damn near killed me, so I need to distance myself from her, at least for a little while.Winding her up is just too easy, her eyes get all intense and she struggles to control herself.I watch her storm off, knowing she's fighting the urge to turn around and at least send me a rude hand gesture, but I want that. Somehow I need that reaction from her, so I clear my throat loudly, seeing her back tense as she anticipates what I'm going to say."Oh and Lea, I know you'll have already packed, but I just wanted to check you were bringing that sexy purple nighty I like so much, you know the one I mean. The one you wore last year for me, the one that's pretty much see-through." She stops dead in her tracks, I can't help the gr
After stopping for a drink in the coffee shop nearest the school, I can't put it off any longer and head home, hoping that Nathan won't already be there. I won't lie, I'm so disappointed, but it is what it is, I got over it before, I can do it again.As luck would have it, the only person home is Kim, who's ransacking the house for her favourite t-shirt after leaving packing to the last minute. As usual."Have you got it in yours?" She asks, pulling out sofa cushions and stuffing them back, ignoring the chocolate and crisp wrappers that Shane and his friends have obviously stuffed down the back of it. "It's my black one with the big red drippy heart on one side.""No, but wasn't Susie wearing it instead of her school uniform last week?""Shit, yes, thank you." In s
I can't even be in the same room as Leanna without wondering who she's been with, it's causing an inordinate amount of anger to build inside me.Everyone at school knows she's off limits, I made sure of that. It wasn't Max, so who went behind my back?"What crawled up your butt?" Gemma strolls into my room and sits on the bed, picking up the school books I brought and smirking at me. "Do your friends know Mr Cool and Popular is planning on studying while he's on holiday? That would seriously ruin your rep, wouldn't it?""What do you want?" I snap at her and she just rolls her eyes."What's going on with you and Leanna? You've been glaring at h
"Urgh, where is she?" I hug my coat closer to me as I head outside, the snow is so thick that my feet sink up to my ankles, the cold and wet seeping straight through the soft material of my brand new UGG boots and I curse myself for wearing them to this stupid party.It was huge, it was inevitable we'd get separated. I shouldn't have had a drink, I wasn't going to but I got caught up playing drinking games and then ended up night skiing.I've got to admit it was fun, absolutely terrifying but also the most fun I've had in a very long time, but now I can't find Kim anywhere. It's past curfew, so maybe she's gone back to the room, although I don't think she would have left without me? I don't know what to do and I've wandered around so much that now everything looks the same and I'm not entirely sure where I am.
The pains start around 3am. I was in a lovely deep sleep when I was woken to cramps starting low in my back, reminiscent of the terrible food poisoning incident in Venice nine months ago that seems to be the cause of this particular incident. My own lack of education meant I didn't think twice about jumping on Nathan the second I felt better, not realising my contraceptive pill wouldn't be effective during a nearly week long episode of sickness and diarrhoea. We found out about a month after the wedding, two days after moving into our first home together. We'd both taken jobs instead of going to university. Nathan with an accountancy firm and myself at a legal firm, both of us signing contracts which meant they would train us and we would study from home, so while we could only afford to rent a house at the momen
The last few months at school were relatively relaxed, as much as they can be when you're taking exams that affect your future, but in comparison to what we'd been through the previous month's, I'd happily take the exams over and over again.Corrine was right when she said the police could do nothing about what she did, there was nothing illegal done, immoral definitely, but nothing they could charge her with. For the first week she strutted around, casting smug looks at us whenever she saw us and somehow managing to befriend Sally Matthews, so she had people to hang out with.That rapidly changed when Kim and her friends told everyone what she did, the gossip was rampant and although the other kids didn't approve of what she did to Leanna and I, it was the belief that she caused Max to go off the rails that really got her ostracised socially.
I'm not pregnant! It seems I never was. I've taken ten different tests. One from each brand in the shop, just to be sure. There wasn't even a hint of a positive on any of them. I've got mixed feelings. My sister, Jake, Shane and Luke all cheered with each negative result and I'm obviously relieved. There's no way I'm ready to have a baby, but I don't understand why Corrine would do this to me. She's meant to be my friend, Nathan's noticeably quiet, but he gives me a quick smile every time he realises I'm looking at him. I can't work out what he's thinking. After breakfast with the parents, we suggested rather strongly, that they go out for the day together, promising to clean up while they're out and it didn't take long before my dad was dragging my mum out to the car.
While Leanna is sorting things out with her friends, I'm catching up on homework. It feels too normal. With everything that's gone on recently, sitting here trying to figure out maths problems is quite nice. I never ever thought I would say something like that! After that, I lie back on my bed and watch a film, waiting for Leanna to let me know they've gone so I can go over and see her. This is the longest we've been apart since Max took her nearly a month ago and I can feel myself getting twitchy with the urge to check on her. Telling myself it's all fine, I wander downstairs to make a drink and a sandwich. I'm not really hungry, but at least it'll keep me occupied and I take it upstairs to eat while I finish the film. A knock on the door has me jumping out of bed and running downstairs, Corrine's standing there
I feel ridiculous with how nervous I am waiting for Corrine to come over. I haven't spoken to her for three days and she's ignored all my messages. Finally she sent a brief text this morning to say she'd come over this afternoon. Millie and Italia are already here talking about some show they both watched last night. Pretty sure they're trying to distract me, but I feel like my entire focus is downstairs, waiting for her to arrive. There's got to be a reasonable explanation for why she tried to make out like she and Nathan had a thing, right? Millie has reassured me repeatedly that it was the briefest of kisses and that Nathan was not involved at all, I think she thinks that I'm doubting him, which I guess I should a bit. I think I should be upset that Corrine kissed him too but I'm more concerned why one of my oldest and closest friends is behaving so oddly.
The news came early last week that Max has been transferred to a psychiatric unit for assessment, apparently he's still under the illusion that he and Leanna have something and I'm the one standing in the way of that. They're not sure who's most at risk from him; Leanna, me or himself.Leanna feels guilty, like she somehow did something to encourage him or send him over the edge. She keeps asking if I think she was too flirtatious with him, regretting the times she was a bit overzealous in her appreciation of something he did. I keep telling her she's like it with everyone, that she tells everyone she loves them, she told my sister that on our last holiday because my sister hid her a piece of the chocolate cake from being devoured by Luke and Shane.It's just her way, it always has been. I'm fairly sure her friends are the same. Italia and Corrine both to
It's been two weeks since Max took me to that cottage. Two weeks of people tiptoeing around me, treating me like I'm made of glass and trying not to upset me.My parents are being super protective and I understand that, they want to know where I am all the time and I'm having to text them every hour just to reassure them I'm ok, even Kim's finding reasons to be around me all the time and Nathan hasn't touched me more than a cuddle since I got back. I know he wants to, but whenever we even get close to starting something, he backs off, asking me if I'm ok and apologising for pushing me too far, too soon.It doesn't matter how often I tell everyone I'm fine, they think I'm just trying to put a brave face on, but I really am fine. I agreed to see a counsellor that the police recommended, but it all feels like a lot of fuss over nothing.
My parents are furious with me, Leanna's parents were furious with me, I'm pretty sure if I hadn't brought Leanna home after nearly three full days of not knowing where the hell she was, I'd have been being grounded, lectured and they'd be thinking up new punishments for me for weeks. All because I went off to rescue Leanna without taking them or even telling them where we were going, not directly anyway and I hadn't stopped long enough to actually tell Millie where we were heading so they could even follow us. They had to wait at home, helplessly, praying that we would all be ok.My only other saving grace is that I at least called the police and let them know where we were heading and what we anticipated on arrival. Jake saw the trouble I was in, so thankfully didn't mention it was him that called them, it hadn't even crossed my mind, I was too focused on getting to Leanna.
Max's arm is around me, tracing circles on my shoulder, his other hand gripping mine tightly and holding it in his lap. I can feel his erection through his trousers and I'm fairly sure he's holding my hand over it on purpose, almost as if to let me know how much he wants me tonight.My heart's hammering wildly in my chest and I have no idea what time it is, or how long the film's been going on for, but it feels like it should be finishing soon and I'm yet to come up with a plan to avoid having sex with him.About halfway through, he nudged my head so it was resting on his shoulder, so I pretended to fall asleep and I'm resting all my hope on the idea that he won't try to wake me tonight. But that plan is flimsy at best."Baby, wake up, the film's finished." He rubs his thumb over my cheek affectionately and I force