"Mommy wake-up!" ramdam ko ang bawat yugyug sakin balikat.
"Mommmmy! save me" a sound of little boy shouted and pleaded for rescue.
'Mommy?' Is he calling me a mommy?
Bakit I feel warm in my heart ngunit sa kabila ng init nito sakin puso meron din malaking bahagi ng puso ko ang masakit, sobrang sakit ramdam ko ang pag tagas ng luha ko kahit pa nakatiklop ang aking mata.
I opened my eyes though hirap akong imulat ito sa pagka't parang may kung anong nakadagan sa talukap ng aking mata.
"Anak.."My eyes slowly opened. It was blurry white all I can see bumalik ako sa pag pikit at muling minulat ang aking mata. I recalled where I am.The tears burst out again. The extreme pain, the unbearable pain tight to my whole chest. Making myself not worth living. I lost my child no- I killed myself because of my selfishness. I brag my child in his own grave.So, why do I have to live in this kind of hell? I should have died with my child. Maybe in another world, I could take care of him, protect him and never let him suffer being apart from me.Hindi ko manlang siya na buhat, na hawakan. Gusto siyang mahalikan, mayakap at alagaan ng habang buhay. Gusto ko i-spoiled siya
It hurts me, it hurts me too much. I feel so overwhelmed by my emotions but the chaos remains unseen for I can't afford to be vulnerable on the surface.But I don't feel like myself anymore. It felt so heavy in my chest.There's something heavy pounding inside and I can't explain it.These past few days staying here in this hella room of this shit hospital, all I can do is stare blankly at the walls and think again.Then I end up blaming myself. Blaming myself for everything.I blame myself because it's haunted me.Because those traumas, choke me in ways I cannot escape.I see myself stuck
Galit na galit ako sa kanila pero tama bang sa kanila ako magalit?"Why?"I shakingly ask.I don't know what's means why? But that's the only word I can utter.Namayani ang katahimikan samin apat. No one dare to speak.Bakit wala sila masagot sakin ngayon? Kanina ayoko sila magsalita ang dami nila sinasabi pero ngayon gusto ko marinig ang sagot nila wala sumasagot sakin. Ano to lokohan?"Tinatanong ko kayo, bakit?"ulit ko sa kanila but this time I gaze them coldly.I stop my tears for a while.
YuchiroDariels.Aug.15, 2021- Aug.16 2021Mapait akong napangiti.Is this exactly what I've dreamed of. Ang lapida ng aking anak."MyYuchiro, how i supposed to live now?"may hikbi kong tanong sakin anak habang hinihimas ang kanyang lapida."Paano akomagpapatuloyako sa buhay ko ngayon kung nag iisang dahilan paramagpatuloyako sa buhay ko nawala pa."i added with so
"One more drink."utos ko sa isang bartender.He obeys my order immediately.Where I am? I'm at one of my favorite bars. I want to be wasted that's why I come over here.I roamed around, full of disgusting soon as I noticed the group of girls wearing a slut clothes. What a hooker!Dinampot ko ang aking alak bago pumanhik sa pangalawang palapag ng Bar. Nagsisimula ng dumami ang tao and getting annoyed it for me. I want some quiet alone time.But how much bad luck do I have had?Nakasalubong ko lang naman ang taong kinamumuhian ko sa buong buhay ko.
Dinala ako ni Yuri sa hospital.Sa totoo lang hindi naman na kailangan, ang tanging kailangan ko lang lumayo siya sakin. But his damn stupid to figure out."Mr.Gareen, did something happen to the two of you? "Dr. Ahencia asks.I was laying down to the bed now. Tumagilid ako para hindi ko siya makita.I heard him sigh."Walang nanyari. I was shocked when her temper changed after I held her in her hands. She starts to tremble."He told."Did you argue with her or did you frighten her?"Doc follow-up question.
"I cooked our breakfast, do you want to eat here or gusto mo kay Yochiro na tayo kumain?"Tanong ni Virian sakin.Hinuhubad niya ang kanyang apron. Nilapag niya ang isang hot chocolate.He was staying with me. Wala na ako sa dati kong apartment. Virian and I look a penthouse, hati naman kami sa mga gastusin kahit ang hindi naman kailangan. Tapos heto kami ngayon para kaming mag-couple na nagli-live in na."Hindi na, dito nalang tayo kumain. Maaga ang meeting mo ngayon diba? Your secretary talk to me last night and his pleading na papasukin kita ng maaga. "I said.He sighed and sat down.
Why he keep chasing me and hurting me in the end? Hindi ba siya na pa-pagod saktan ako ng pauli-ulit?kase ako pagod na pagod na.Sukong-suko na ako, sa sobrang pagod ko gusto ko nalang maglaho.Gusto ko nalang mamatay.For Christ's sake, why am I crying for the same thing?End up crying because of him. Felt hurt because of him.Fuck him.I want to banished all memory i have with him, but is too fucking hard dahil tulad ngayon lahat ng memories na gusto ko kalimutan at pilit ko kinakalimutan ay binabalikan ako.
Wyne and I become so much busy. Marami akong trinabaho at mga event na pinuntahan. Pumutok na kase sa business world ang pagdating ko kaya sobrang daming events na ina-attenand ko along with Wyne of course.Thankful talaga ako ng sobra sa kanya dahil after that scene, hindi niya ako iniwan."Mommmy!" I heard my daughter loud voice calling me cheerfully.I smile brightly at her."Yes my baby, don't make a fuss here." I accept her hug with open arms.Nandito kase kami ngayon sa company na ipimana ng Family ko. The Szayato's corporation, the biggest company all over the worlds.
Hours passed, na tagpuan ko ang aking sarili nakatitig sa family picture namin ni Wyne at Yuni. Dito sa kanyang opisina. Ang saya-saya naman tatlo, wyne eyes is looking me while his holding Yuni. Ako naman masaya nakatingin kay Yuni while hugging her tights in my arms, like i was afraid to lose her.This is the family I wanted. The family that I'm afraid to let go. To loss, minsan na akong nawalan ng pinangarap kong pamilya. Hahayaan ko na naman bang mawala ito?Napabagsak ako sa sahig sa labis ng panghihina."Pechiee"na rinig kong takot at kabadong sigaw ni Wyne.Matamlay ako bumaling sa kanya."My husband...
Yuri has a teary eye at me. But what should I do? Should I react then? Ang sakit. Sobrang sakit at ang sikip ng dibdib ko ngayon sobra. I almost not catch my breathe every time na sinusubukan pigilan ang luha ko.I don't want to be weak again, not in front of him again."I know is this too late, but still I want to apologise. For all the pain.."he takes a deep breath.I covered my mouth not to let out any sobs. But how long I can hold my tears?"For what I did, especially for our chi..""SHUT THE FUCKING UP!" Ihysterically stop him.
"Ano gusto mo inumin coffee ? Ice tea or Tea?" full attention na tanong ni Yuri. He's trying to get on me. I gaze at him."Hindi ako pumunta dito para dyan. Let's talk so I can leave." I coldly said to him.I was just being frank, but I guess I was not wrong here. "Pechie, wag ka naman magmadali."mababang saad niya. Naiinis ako sa pinapakita niyang reaksyon sakin. Bakit parang siya ang biktima at ako ang masama dito? "Yuri hindi kita maintindihan, bakit ka nagkakaganito?" I laid my first question, what I really curious one. Yuri face turn in very sad look. Pero sa totoo lang kung sa ibang tao mukha siyang kaawa pero sakin he looks awful and it disgust me. It may sound rude but it's true."I missed you," tumigil ang mundo ko sakin na rinig. 'I missed you,' It's echoing. And laughed loudly but without humor and sharpen my gaze at him."You think may pakialam ako? Sa tingin mo ba pumunta ako dito para pakinggang ang mga yan?Be reasonable Yuri."malamig kong saad sa kanya. Hindi
I went out early. But before I leave the house nag-iwan ako ng breakfast ng mag-ama ko. Of course before anything else sympre sila muna kahit ano pang busy ng araw ko. I dialed Ayue's number while I was driving. "Good morning, Madam." He answered his phone after a few rings. "Oh hello Ayue, can you reserve me a room for 2 people at GC's Hotel? This going to take for 1-week to book. I'll be needing this tomorrow morning. Also, can you send me details about what our company is doing in Japan?" I immediately told him what I needed. We both have precious time to be wasted. After telling me what I need. We ended the call since andito na rin ako sa Gareen Firm parking lot. Bumaba na ako ng sasakyan ko at sumakay sa elevator papunta sa receptions are. I'll be having business with him. I guess this will be the best time to talk with him. Wala naman na ako magagawa. Ayoko na rin naman magtago pa nakakapagod na. "I have an appointment with the Ceo," I announce to the receptionis
Na balot ng katahimikan ang lahat ng malakas na hinampas ni Wyne ang mesa. Maski ang bata na nasa kanyang bisig na pahingkatakutan. "Ayla, paki-akyat si Yuni sa kanyang silid. "Tarantang utos ko. "Baby, this is adult talk. Okay lang ba mauna kana muna sa room Daddy and I will follow you later okay?"pag-amo ko rito. "Yes mommy."mahinang naging tugon niya. Sumama siya agad kay Ayla. Nang makasiguro na akong wala na talaga si Yuni, saka ako humarap sa kanilang lahat pero ang focus ko si Wroen. Pero inuna ko asikasuhin ang asawa ko, one of the servant brougth the medicine kit. "Wroen, I really don't know what I've done to you. Just to owe me of that kind of treatment."malamig kong sambit habang nilalagyan ko bandage kamay ni Wyne. Wala ako na rinig na kahit anong salita mula sa kanila, even scars. Nag-angat ako ng tin
Dahil sa pagdating ni Yuri, tila'y ba nawalang ng gana ang lahat pero I don't want to end like that. Wyne and I worked hard for this small banquet tapos hahayaan ko lang masira ito ng dahil sa taong yon ulit. That's not gonna happen, ever. Inobliga ko ngumiti at lumapit sa anak ko hinawakan ko siya sa kamay habang si Wyne naman ay buhat siya. Sandali kami nagtitigan. As before his giving me cold gaze pero binalewala ko lang instead tinamisan ko ang ngiti sa kanya. "Good evening everyone! I just want to apologize for the inconvenience happened. Pero hahayaan ba masira ang ating gabi? Sympre we don't want to happen right?" I started. Lahat sila tumango sakin. I feel relief. "Since this salo-salo is for my introducing of my family. Let me introduce my family. " I added. I proudly spoke in front of my friends. Telling about my Family. Bumaling ako kay Wyne, I held his hand. "This man beside me,
Aside samin, si Wroen lang ang hindi nagulat."You brought him, Wroen?" may galit sa himig ni Scar ng tinanung niya si Wroen.Kamo't sa batok siya na tumango samin."Gosh, nag iisip kaba?" dagdag na galit na sambit ni Scar.Kulang nalang batukan niya si Wroen sa inis niya dito. Na iindintihan ko naman ang nararamdaman niya. Kung ako lang, kung wala lang dito ang anak ko kakaladkarin ko siya palabas ng bahay ko."Pechie, pwede ba tayo mag usap? pangako hindi ako mang-gugulo." may makaawa niyang pakiusap.Lahat nakatingin sakin, pero ang tanging binigyan ko ng pansin ay si Wyne. Si Wyne walang imik o kahit buhay sa mata nito. Gusto ko siya tanungin kung okay lang ba sa kanya na kausapin ko saglit si Yuri kaya lang paano ko siya tatanungin kung hindi manlang nag-abala si Wyne na tignan ako.I had no choice to make a decision for us, malalim akong bumuga ng hangin."Yuri, not now."malalim at madi
Halos tatlong oras ako nag-asikaso. Mula sa foods at sa area na kakainin sympre with help of Wyne."Ayla, ang mga kubyertos" rinig kong utos ni Wyne sa kasambahay namin, nagkukumahog ko naman nakasalubong si Ayla habang bitbit ko ang isang puno ng food pan ng pasta.Naabutan ko si Wyne chenecheck ang mga food."Wyne, mag bihis kana at isabay mo si Yuni sa pagbaba mo ako na muna bahala dito. Para makapag pahinga kana din muna,"Mahabang talahaga ko.Tinignan muna nya ang kanyang relo."Mauna kana muna mag-ayos, tignan ko lang ang mga inumin."walang baling ng tingin an saad nya sakin.He's giving me a cold-shoulder gosh, sana maging maayos kami pagdating ng mga bisita namin kase ano nalang ang sasabihin nila pag na halata nila na may iba samin mag-asawa."sige, baba agad ako para makapag-bihis kana din."tanging na sambit ko