2. Five

~ Harper’s POV ~

I had no idea why Zara acted surprised when I told her that and Natalie decided to abort the baby if it turned out to be my child. And if it didn't turn out to be mine, then the decision to keep the baby would be solely Natalie's.

I loved her, more than anything and she would be a fool if she thought I would let go of her that easily.

Having a child with Natalie would mess up the situation on so many levels. Me and Natalie would be parents of a baby and where exactly would Zara fit in the picture? 

Zara was my mate and I would try as long as it took to make her believe that I was sorry about what I did. Having a child in the equation would make the situation unsalvageable.

Sleeping with Natalie was a mistake and whatever reasons I come up for my actions could never redeem me. I was smart enough to know that. I had made shitty choices and now I was suffering through the consequences. 

My wolf had been constantly whining and whimpering at the loss of our mate. I tried hard to placate my wolf so that we would get our mate back. It would take some time but I deserved the torture. I would go through hell if it meant I would get another chance with her. It was clear to everyone that I didn't deserve her but I needed her more than anything and I would let go of everything else that mattered to me if it meant that we could be together.

I wasn't the only one hurting in this disturbing turn of events. Natalie had cried so many times in the past couple of days that I wondered how she was even able to stand straight. I knew how much Zara meant to her and one stupid drunken mistake was going to cost her a lifetime of friendship. I bet she now regrets the day she even saw my face. She was blaming and cursing herself over and over again and I felt helpless as I realized I was the cause of the rift between them.

If the stupid doctor hadn't poured his guts in the waiting room, my parents would have been oblivious to everything and would have come to know about it if only the situation demanded it. But the werewolf couldn't exactly disobey an order from his Alpha, could he? It resulted in it being both of my parents being hugely disappointed in me. They never put it in words exactly but they had hoped that I would take a different course of action with my mate than the one they had taken. They didn't want me to follow in their footsteps and till now, that was exactly what I had done.

Saying I was ashamed of myself was an understatement. I was disgusted with myself.

I sat on my bed with a variety of thoughts running through my head a mile a minute. Today was the day of the revelation. After being asked by his alpha, the doctor had promised to deliver the result of the paternity test himself. It wasn't a personal matter anymore; it was a pack matter. 

Zara hadn't talked to me in days, hadn't let me come near her in days. I knew I deserved it but I missed her, the feel of her soft body against mine, her smell in my sheets, and her soft lips against her mine. I could feel my wolf yapping and happy every time the sweet scent of chocolate and pines hit my nose. I could feel my wolf become weak otherwise.

In my office. Now.

My father had more or less ignored me after that day in the hospital. I knew he was disappointed with me. He had, countless times taught me the importance of a mate and I had done everything in my power to belittle and deceive mine.

My mom was troubled a lot too and I knew she was trying not to take much stress because of the baby inside her. 

I knew that both of them felt that their life teachings for their son were a waste. If my actions had been satisfactory, I could have contradicted these allegations but I couldn't.

I took a deep breath and walked out of my room, on my way to the Alpha's office. I had come here many times and it always seemed unreal to me that I would sit in this very room one day and look over pack business.

As I neared the office, the sweet smell of chocolate and pines flooded my senses and my wolf started to stir from his deep sleep. Nowadays, he only seemed to make his presence whenever his mate was around.

I hastily opened the door and my eyes met the sight of my mate, sitting on an armchair. A smart move on her part, if she wanted to stay away from both me and Natalie because the only other seat apart from the armchair was a three-seater couch, where mom was already sitting.

I walked over to the couch and sat down next to Mom. I didn't want to and I knew she didn't want it too. But she was sitting in the middle of the couch, which would result in Natalie not sitting side by side, and the only other seat was taken by Zara. It was very thought out.

Before my eyes could snap back to Zara and peruse her, the door opened again and Natalie entered. I didn't look up, instead I looked down. I cursed myself and my stupid head for landing me in this situation.

"I had the doctor send me the results of the paternity test today." He picked up an envelope which had the hospital's logo on it. My eyes zeroed on the open flap and I knew that he had opened and checked the results. What was with this man and building suspense? Just tell me what the goddamn results said.

But he didn't need to say it out loud. I had been feeling queasy about the results and when he opened his mouth to confirm what I already knew, bile rose my throat. 

"But of course, Natalie will go for an abortion as you guys have mutually decided." All of us solemnly nodded and pretended that this was the solution to every problem we would face.

"We can't." A small voice spoke up and a tense silence settled in the air. My gaze held Zara's hunched form. She looked so small; she looked like she would crumple in herself. Her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen and I fought the urge to go to her and put my arms around her. I wanted her close to me, for both me and my wolf's sake but I knew my limits.

"What?" My mom was baffled. She couldn't fathom the reason why Zara would want her best friend and her boyfriend (?) to bring up a child together. What was she trying to do?!

"I had a dream last night." Her voice was growing smaller by the minute and all thanks to the werewolf hearing, I was able to hear it. She sounded exhausted and worn down.

My whole body became rigid as soon as I heard those words. She had a dream? As in a dream with the moon goddess? Ordinarily, I would have rejoiced at the fact that my mate had the moon goddess vising in her dreams but now, as I took in her body language, I knew I wouldn't like the words I would hear.

"That child in her is going to be the next alpha." She held her gaze at Natalie's stomach. What?!

"What?" Dad voiced the question that was raging in my mind.

Her gaze met mine and she gave me a sad smile. A smile that sent lightning bolts through my chest and made my body hurt. "Me and Harper will never have children."

My wolf howled and whimpered inside my head at the words that left Zara's mouth. I heard them too but I had difficulty in processing them. I had heard the words, the sentence but the meaning had yet to register in my mind.

Mom gasped and I felt Dad sit a little straight in his chair. I could see a tear slip down Natalie's cheek and saw Zara pull her legs towards her chest, as a form of shield.

"Well, that changes things," Dad said and my head snapped to meet his gaze.

"No, it doesn't." My voice was strong and steely. I didn't care if I wasn't going to have children with Zara. She was my mate; I was supposed to spend my life with her and that was exactly what I wanted to do.

My wolf whimpered and retreated at the back of my head. He didn't know who to choose, his pup or his mate. He was distraught and exhausted. Above all, he hated me. He hated how he was in this position because of me.

At this very moment, I hated myself. Fate was playing a cruel joke on me because I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would ever be in this situation.

"Sit. Down." My father's stern voice rang out in my ears. I didn't realize that I had stood up but I wasn't going to budge, not now.

My mom was in shock and Natalie was silently sobbing.

Zara looked smaller than she ever had done before she raised her head and gave me a soft smile.

"Don't you get it? She planned it. It was meant to happen."

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and pulled at the roots.

"What the hell are you talking about? Who planned it?"

"The goddess." Her voice came out small but I knew everyone in the room heard her as a silence settled in the room, unsure of which action to take.

I felt a pain in my chest as I saw a tear slide down my mate's cheeks. How many times she must cry because of me?!