63. Dopamine- Jacob -.It was a mistake to go into my room after Dad belittled me. I wish I had gone out of the house instead. But I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing our conversation bothered me.I go into my room and try to process everything I just heard from him. His warning. Name-calling. His disdainful tone… laced with disappointment.Instances like this are not common, but when it happens, it widens the crack in our relationship a little more each time. Still, it doesn’t sting any less when I see how differently he treats me.I love June to death. But on days like this, I cannot help but envy her.
- Natalie - . “Let’s start small. Ask me something..” He says, and my heart flutters with hope. But I hesitate for the first question. “Your argument at home. Was it bad?” He sighs. “Yes.. kind of… My turn. Why is your face swollen?” My eyes pop out. Is it still swollen? Fuck. “Ohh…” I wince and mumble,” I kind of cried a little… for some lame reason...” He goes quiet for a while then says, “Well, if it made you upset enough to cry, I am sure it wasn’t lame.” His words are oddly comforting. We ask short but random questions back and forth, without touching the real reason why we ended up here tonight. “Your turn.” He says. I think for a while. I have a million questions, but none seem appropriate. So I settle for the least appropriate one. “Why are you still single?” He raises his eyebrow. “I remember you told me you dated almost a year ago. That stalker girl, right?” He gives me a tight smile and nods. “So, why are you still single?” I repeat myself. He chuckles an
66. Two steps back - Jacob - . Ever since I met Natalie, things have been one step forward, two steps back. I had such a blissful time with her on Friday evening. Despite my worse coming out experience and argument at home. I would say it was one of the best nights of my life. We shared so much, enjoyed each other’s company, and had our first kiss. It was exhilarating. In morning, she woke me up before sunrise. “What!! It’s so early...” I told her while rubbing my eyes. She gave me a quick peck on cheek and it shooed away my drowsiness. “My dad sometimes wakes up early. I can’t risk that. Let’s go.” As she freshen up, her kiss lingered on my face and I wondered if we still need to wait a week? That blissful feeling barely lasted half an hour. As she was about to enter her house, her father opened the door. He was waiting for her. I was in the car but I saw it all happen. He gave me a stern look from his front door. It grilled holes in my head even when I was fifty yards awa
68. Poison- Natalie -.I gotta pick a bone with West.That Jerk!As I am raging through the school corridor to find him, my head is throwing me warnings. It’s probably not a good idea. But I won’t be that weak spooked Natalie he met last Friday. This Friday he gotta see the fierce me.It’s probably none of my business. But I cannot stand this. I cannot ignore it this time. After looking for him in Library and counselor waiting room, Boy’s locker room is my next guess. It’s an odd time for him to be there, but I gotta see him now. So I go in there.Probably there will be o
69. Rebel- Jacob -.In the past few days, I have gotten closer to Natalie more than I expected. She has been visiting me with the excuse of games and studies. The way she was upset about her father’s reaction last week. I thought she will outright shut me down and sit in her room like a good girl. But turns out she is far from a good girl and I love it. More I talk to her, I realize she is a rebel.“All crime is legal for one hour. What do you do?” I had asked her last evening in hopes she will spill something.“Jaywalk,” she replied with glee in her eyes.“You Rebel!!” I chuckle and smack her arm.“What about you?”“hmmm… I will probably loiter beneath No Loitering sign.”That makes her giggle. She has told me many times my jokes are stupid, but I am not backing off as long as she laughs.Nowadays, it takes a sincere effort to not stare at her. Yesterday, she was wearing shorts. I couldn’t help but admire her strong runner legs. When she hugs me, I bask under the softness I feel ag
70. Paparazzi- Natalie -.When I rushed out of the locker room, I was both afraid and embarrassed. I went in there to confront West. Not to get intimidated by him. Once again, he scared me off real bad. He did it intentionally this time.I was walking with my head down. Angry and frustrated. As per his logic, I am not supposed to date his friends. But apparently, he could sleep and date mine.The Audacity.What kind of fucked up logic is that?When Jacob blocked my way and demanded an answer. I was flabbergasted. It should have annoyed me. Everybody wants to dominate me.But for some reason, I found it hot.So hot.Because it was the first time Jacob had shown me this intensity. Something different from his tender nature.The idea excited me.I have been touched many times. But never with this passion before. I have kissed other boys countless times. But never with this much intensity. His demanding kiss made my knees go weak.It was unexpected. I have never kissed anyone in front o
72. Patch Up - Natalie - . I was embracing myself for some sort of ‘You better be careful’ lecture from Mom and especially Dad. The whole day passed, and it never arrived. It gave me some confidence to invite Jacob into my room on Saturday evening. Just to hang out. Nothing sordid. “Keep the door open Natalie!” Dad had asked me. I did not. Jacob raised his eyebrow at me when I locked the door instead. “Pushing your limits, aren’t you?” I grinned. Then we kissed. and kissed.. and kissed... Neither of us had guts to remove even a layer of clothing. We knew Dad could knock and ask us to open the door at any time. It’s Sunday morning and Jacob is busy with his sudden team meeting. He had offered to join me for the quarter marathon when I told him I was running for the sake of participation and will run at a slower pace. “I don’t think you could run that far!” I remarked. “It’s 6.5 Miles!” “Of Course, I can. It’s only 6.5 Miles.” “You skate! You don’t run. I don’t think you
73. Christmas Miracle- Jacob -.Coach asked us to join at ice rink this morning. Practice notice was given last evening, out of the blue. But I know he wants to grill us.Thanks to West, our freaking captain, our team hasn’t been performing well for the coach’s satisfaction.The hell with it.Anyone can see we are playing terribly. It’s because of the invisible divide that happened a few days ago. Some teammates love the drama and take sides even when there is no point.Hockey season starts after a few weeks, two matches every month until the school session ends. I am not even sure how well West’s hand is now. If he can play by that time or not. He didn’t join us for practice last week.Coach made him sit to watch us. “Observe and suggest if the team could use better formation. Act like a captain, For God’s sake!” He had told him.West was annoyed. He probably hoped for time off from coming to practice. Too bad. But I am glad Coach was rather calm. Nobody likes him when he is in ful