"They call me baepsae
yokbwatji i sedae
palli chase 'em
hwangsae deoge nae garangin taengtaeng~"
Natawa ako kay Jedd na sumasayaw at kumakanta sa harap ni Kollin na busy sa pagrereview. Malapit na kasi yung finals at busy lahat ng estudyante. Sinipa siya ni Kollin na iritang-irita na sa kakulitan niya. Nagrereview din si Chalk na tahimik at seryosong-seryoso sa hawak niyang libro. Nagrereview din kami ni Alvie samantalang si Glenn naman ay prenteng nakaupo habang busy sa paglalaro sa phone niya.
"Putahamnida 'tong mukhang nag-aagaw buhay na ipis na 'to ah. Kala mo gwapo. Peste."
Napatingin kaming lahat kay Glen. Bigla-bigla nalang kasing nagmumura.
"Bakit? Sumali ka na naman sa warzone 'no?" Alvie concluded.
"Epal kasing basher. Nakakainis." sagot naman niya. Napangiti nalang ako.
"Let them be. Nagpapapansin lang mga 'yan." sabi ko.
"Oy, kayong dalawa huh! Kailangan couple hair color? Tae, ang corny niyo." Napatingin kaming pareho ni Glenn kay Chalk.
"Inggit ka lang, urur!" sabay bato ni Glenn sa kaniya nung chips.
Natawa nalang kami ni ni Alvie nung nagrambolan na yung apat. Tumayo kami tsaka nagpunta sa kusina para kumuha ng meryenda. Wala din yung mama ni Alvie dito sa bahay nila kaya kaming anim lang ‘yung naiwan.
"Okay ka lang, Sol?" Alvie asked.
Ngumiti ako ng mapait. Nakwento ko na sa kaniya yung nangyayari sa bahay. Yung hindi na pag-uwi ni Papa, yung laging pag-iyak ni mama tsaka yung mga text ni papa.
It's been a week since that shit happened. Wala akong mapagsabihan kundi si Alvie. Ayoko namang pati si Glenn ay problemahin yung problema ko kaya ‘di ko nalang sinabi.
Laging nagtetext si papa. Nagso-sorry siya sa lahat daw ng maling desisyong ginawa niya. Tanong ako ng tanong kung ano ba talaga yung problema pero wala ni isa sa kanila ni mama yung may planong sabihin sa akin. Tinatanong ko din si kuya Zeck kung may alam siya pero lagi niyang sinasabi na ako daw yung kasama nila kaya ako dapat yung nakakaalam.
Pagkatapos naming magmeryenda, pumasok sila sa loob dahil manonood daw sila ng movies kaya nagpaiwan muna ako para magpahangin. I'm listening to EXO's Promise when someone pulled the earphone on my right ear.
Napalingon ako kay Glenn na nakaupo sa likuran ko. Pinatong nya yung ulo niya sa balikat ko tsaka inintertwine yung mga kamay niya sa akin. Para tuloy siyang nakayakap sa akin.
---
Kakatapos lang ng exam namin si Alvie kaya nagpunta kami sa food court. We still have exams in the afternoon kaya mahaba-habang review ang kelangan naming gawin. Nagrereview ako sa physics habang nanonood naman ng music video si Alvie.
"Kailan mo siya sasagutin, Sol?"
Napatingin ako kay Alvie. Kailan ko sasagutin?
"Kailan mo sasagutin yung pinsan ko. Like, hello? It's been two months. Wala ka bang balak sagutin siya?" dagdag pa nya.
"Two months na ba? Alam mo kasi Vie, nasa 'getting to know each other stage' pa lang kami ng pinsan mo. Madami pa kaming ‘di alam tungkol sa isa't isa. Gusto ko munang makilala siya. You know, I want a long-term relationship. I want it to be slow but sure."
Napag usapan naman na namin yun ni Glenn, eh. Willing din naman daw siyang maghintay. Besides, I have family issues right now. We're still young so there's no need to put everything on haste. Napukaw ng paningin ko yung apat lalake na naghahabulan sa may likod ng gym. Ano na namang kalokohan yung ginagawa ng mga yun? Wala na ba silang exam?
Nagpaalam ako kay Alvie para pumunta sa washroom. We still have 20 minutes before our next exam at hindi ko naman mahihila si Alvie dito dahil sinumpong siya ng katamaran nya.
"Excuse me, miss. May I ask where is the Dean's office?" napalingon ako sa babaeng nagsalita. She has her American with a bit of Korean accent.
Naalala ko tuloy si Nix. Natatawa lang ako kapag naalala ko yung kalokohan na pinag-gagawa niya.
Nagpunta siya sa bahay nung gabi na nagtampo ako dahil sa pagiging abnormal nya. Kasama niya yung tatlong alipores niya. It's already 10 pm at saktong kadarating lang ng bahay ni papa. Nasa labas sila ng bahay habang may hawak-hawak na gitara at rose.
Nasa sala kami ni papa habang nanonood ng TV nung may marinig kaming nagtatalo sa labas. Sumilip si papa sa may bintana tsaka biglang napataas yung kilay.
"Sino yung mga ungas na yun?" tanong ni papa kaya sumilip na din ako. There I saw the four weirdos hitting each other's head.
"Di ko po sila kilala." I denied. Like, what on Earth are they doing at this time?
Bigla silang nagstrum kaya natahimik kami ni papa. Nagsimula silang kumanta. Napapangiti naman si papa. Naaamazed din siguro sa ganda ng blending ng boses nila.
"Yung nasa gitna yung manliligaw mo diba?" tanong ni papa.
Bago pa ako makasagot, lumabas na siya ng bahay kaya napasunod nalang ako. Todo ngiti si papa. For sure bilib na biib na yan kay Lawin.
"Ganyan din ako sa mama mo dati." Bulong niya.
Bigla naman akong kinabahan nung mapatingin ako sa apat. Sinenyasan ko silang itigil na ang pagkanta pero di nila ako pinansin.
"...let's just kiss 'til we're naked baby, Versace on the floor~"
Nanlaki yung mata ni papa nung narinig niya yung lyrics.
"Tarantado kayo!" sigaw nya sabay hugot sa belt nya. Kanya-kanyang takbo naman yung apat.
"Miss?"
I snap back to reality when I heard her voice. Ang layo na pala ng narating ng utak ko.
"Ah, just head to the right-wing of the building. First door from the right." I answered.
She smiled at me before leaving. She looks familiar. Saan ko ba siya nakita?
--
Maaga kaming natapos ni Alvie kaya dumiretso na kami sa arcade. Sinabihan nalang niya yung apat na sumunod pagkatapos ng exam nila. Nasa food court kami nung lapitan kami nina Kyle.
"Sol!" tawag niya. Sabay kaming napatingin ni Alvie sa kanya. Kasama niya yung teammates niya.
"Hi," bati ko pero di sila pinansin ni Alvie. Di ko nga alam kung bakit mainit yung dugo niya kay Kyle, wala namang ginagawa yung tao sa kanya.
Umalis din sila nung mapansin nilang hindi sila welcome kay Alvie. Naglakad-lakad muna kami after naming kumain. Bigla akong hinila ni Alvie kaya napahinto ako.
"Ano na naman?!" inis kong singhal sa kanya. Kamuntik na akong magslide dahil sa lakas ng pagkakahila nya.
Bigla syang ngumiti ng nakakaloko tsaka kumapit sa braso ko na daig pa ang koala.
"Di ba naguguluhan ka pa kung sasagutin mo ba yung pinsan ko? Why not ask for signs?" she suggested with her wide smile. Pinitik ko nga sa noo. Daming kalokohan eh.
"Ano ka, bata? Kinain ng sistema ng ng pinapanoos at binabasa mo? Gumising ka nga!" sigaw ko sa kanya.
Sinamaan naman niya ako ng tingin tsaka hinampas sa braso. Pinagtitinginan na tuloy kami ng mga tao.
"Arte mo bes. Wala namang mawawala sayo."
The song I used here is BTS' Silver Spoon. You can listen to it on Spotify, Youtube, or Apple Music.
Kalma Sol, kalma. Bawal mahimatay, ‘di mo makikita mga asawa mo. Maingay kami sa van papunta sa MOA. This is it. Mamayang gabi na yung concert ng EXO. Akala ko talaga hindi na ako makakapunta dahil sobrang busy at napakadami kong problema lately. Hindi nga ako active sa social media at naubusan pa ako ng concert ticket. "Tae naman ni Suga, Lawin. Sana naging babae nalang ako. Napakagalante mo manlibre. VIP Ticket for real? Not one, not two but five! Five VIP tickets! Pwede bang magpa-ampon nalang sa inyo?" biro ni Jedd. Ninitian lang siya ni Glenn. Halos maglupasay na ako kahapon dahil akala ko talaga hindi ako makakapunta sa concert pero nagulat nalang ako sa ginawa ni Phoenix. Nasa kwarto ako habang yakap-yakap yung poster ng EXO at hawak-hawak yung light stick nung dumating silang lima. Wala sana akong balak na p
Tapos na yung exam at Christmas break na. Everyone is busy while I'm stuck here in the house cleaning alone. Mom and Dad are nowhere to be found. Darating ngayon yung mga pinsan ko from Cebu at dito sila magse-celebrate ng pasko. Busy din yung lima dahil may mga bisita din sila kaya di ko alam kung makikita ko sila.It's been a week since the concert pero halos mabaliw pa rin ako kapag naaalala ko. Tuwang-tuwa nga sina Mama nung naikwento sa kanila ng madaldal na si Alvie yung nangyare sa concert. Alam na pala nila yng plano ni Glenn at ako lang talaga yung walang malay sa nangyayari.Sobrang sweet at thoughtful ni Glenn to the point na pati si mama eh kinikilig sa kanya. Halos dito na nga siya tumira last week eh. He called me last night that he won't be able to see me because he will be visiting his parents in States and will be spending Christmas with them. Babalik nalang daw siya before n
"Okay ba yung suot ko?" tanong ni Kaleb. "Hindi. Mukha kang tanga. Ang panget mo talaga. Saang planeta ka ba galing? Sana ‘di ka nalang nabuhay." Sagot sa kanya ni Matt. "Edi panget ka din pala bobo. Kambal tayo baka nakakalimutan mo." Sigaw sa kanya ni Kaleb. Napasapo nalang ako sa noo ko. Nauna na akong lumabas sa kanila. Iniwan ko silang nagtatalo. Start na pala ng pasukan at ‘di ko namalayan na nakapag-enroll na pala yung dalawang baliw sa school na pinapasukan ko. "Sol! Wait!" rinig kong tawag nila kaya inis akong huminto. They are wearing polo na akala mo a-attend ng prom. May pa-shades-shades pang nalalaman kaya nagmukha tuloy silang bulag na musikero. Buti nalang talaga at ‘di ko sila ka-department. Kaleb is taking up AB English while Matt is taking up Information technology.
Medyo busy ako dahil sa mga activities sa school at sa article na pinapagawa ng prof namin. Buti nalang at tinutulungan ako ni Ronan. He's the assistant editor-in-chief kaya lagi kaming magkasama lately. Nasa field kami ngayon para ituloy yung mga articles na dapat tapusin."Aigoo~ masakit na yung utak ko~" reklamo ko habang minamasahe yung ulo ko.Kinuha naman niya yung laptop ko tsaka tiningnan yung ginagawa ko. Almost two hours na din pala kaming nakaupo dito. Di ko rin napansin yung tawag ni Nix kaya di ko nasagot. May PE sila ngayon at for sure break nila. Tinabi ko ulit yung phone ko tsaka tinuloy yung ginagawa namin."Kumusta kayo?" biglang tanong ni Ronan habang seryosong nakatingin sa laptop ko."We're fine. Masaya kami." Sagot ko.Ngumiti naman siya tsaka tumingin sa akin."I can see it in your eyes. I want to apologize f
I don't know what exactly is happening. Paggising ko kaninang umaga, umiiyak si mommy pero nung makita niya ako, bigla siyang pumasok sa kwarto. I asked the twin what happened but they only said that she's just overwhelmed by the kdrama she had watched last night. (Kelan pa nahilig manood si mommy nun?)Naglalakad ako papunta sa gym nung bigla akong hilain ni Jedd sa gilid ng registration office. Hingal na hingal siya na parang hinabol ng zombie."What?" Ano na naman ba?"Hehe, wala lang. Dito muna tayo." Kinakabahan niyang sagot kaya I goggled at him.Di ko alam kung bakit ako kinakabahan kaya lumingon ako. What I saw broke my heart. My boyfriend laughing with Eunice Park while walking to the library.Humarap ako kay Jedd tsaka ngumiti."Did you, perhaps, thought that I might get jealous when I saw them together?" I asked politely.Bahagya siyang tuma
Pinilit kong pumasok kahit sobrang sama ng pakiramdam ko. Dapat masaya ako kasi tumawag si kuya Zeck at sinabing isasama na niya kami sa Korea. Pero bakit wala akong maramdaman?‘Di ko siya nakita sa school nang dumating ako kaya dumiretso nalang ako sa classroom.Jedd, Kollin, Chalk, and Alvie came rushing to me. They all look worried. I inhaled all the possible strength I'm needing before smiling at them."Bakit ganyan mga mukha niyo? Luh, parang ewan.""Okay ka lang ba, Sol?" Jedd asked.Nginitian ko sila tsaka tumango. "Oo naman. Bakit naman ‘di ako magiging okay?""Anong nangyari sa inyo ng pinsan ko?" Inis na tanong ni Alvie."Di ko din alam. Sabi ko naman sa inyo. Mas gwapo si Suho ko. Bahala siya sa buhay niya. Teka nga, bakit ba parang kayo yung nakipag-break? Haha. Tsaka wag niyo namang awayin yung tao. B
Sol.We circled the bonfire. I'm holding my notebook and drawing something in it when Phoenix Glenn sat beside me.The cold wind blows, making me shake. I'm still wearing my dress which happens to be so thin."Don't you know how to play the guitar, Sol?" Kollin asked.He handed me his guitar and everyone looked at me. I heave a sigh as I try to recall the chords. It's been ten years since I played the guitar.I played the song I played when we had our first practice for the school festival in college.Stupid memories assaulted me and I closed my eyes real tight to push th
PhoenixI let myself fall on the floor as my sweat bathe my whole body. Sol is surely bloody mad at me right now. We almost fixed it but here it is again.If I could only punch my manager for being extra annoying, I already did as soon as I step afoot at the airport this morning.We talked about one week vacation but they suddenly sent me back. This comeback is pretty maddening. We already talked that we're coming back two months from now and they're suddenly telling me that we will move it in advance."Aren't you going back to the dorm?" Sujin asked me. He's the group's rapper.We're the only ones who were left in the practice room while the others went back to the dorm already. He can speak in English because he studied in California when he was in high school but he's a full-blooded Korean."Later. I'll just take a rest for a while."&nbs
Phoenix"Come on, man! Put yourself together, will you?" Sujin tapped my shoulder.They've been cheering me up since the night I came back to the dorm. I ignored him so he just sit next to me. We're currently preparing for a concert."What's going on?" I asked, as soon as I arrived in the practice room."The CEO wants to talk to you." Less said.They all look bothered. I took a deep breath and went straight to our manager's office.He's sitting snugly on his swivel chair, waiting for me. Eunice is also here. I heave a sigh in annoyance as soon as I approach them."Take a seat," he ordered."I prefer standing," I answered."I told you to take a seat," he ordered sternly.I do as he says. I always do what he says.Eunice is fidgeting in her seat. She's staring
Sol"I thought you and Phoenix were okay now?"I look at mommy who's currently lying on the couch while watching TV. I visited their house because I'm bored.The kids are not there because they are still in school. Zeck and his wife are in the shop. Mama was left alone.I was washing the dishes in the kitchen but he called me. She pointed to the TV."Switch's leader, Phoenix Yu rumored dating with Singer Eunice Park"I laughed a little. She knows that we're okay again but I guess I did the wrong decision. She's expecting Glenn and me to get along. It was also been a few weeks ago when we last met ... when I was left alone in his house."We're okay, Ma. I didn't say that we're back together."I went back to the kitchen and continued what I was doing. I felt Mom's presence but I remained silent."You still love him, don't
PhoenixShe's back to her work when I finished taking a shower. She's not wearing any make-up yet she looks really gorgeous with her eyeglasses."Let's go."This caught her attention. Her brow creased, she looks at me like I've grown two heads."Where?""Uh, outside?"She stared at me then continued what she was doing. I sat next to her but she closed his laptop."You're not allowed to take a glance at it. You didn't even pay for the book you took."I laughed at her reaction. Speaking of that book ... it perhaps reminds me of what happened between us.The girl's sufferings after the guy left her and chose his dreams over her. How her life shattered after he walked out of her life without a word. How he stole her heart and break it into a million pieces. How her world collided and how she tries to put back every piece.As time goes by,
Sol"Sol?"I lost count of how many times have I heave a sigh. I know I should not expect but the pain is still there."SOL!""Oh, lisp!"Chan glared at me. I ignored him. I continued to draw even though I knew he looked bad on me.It's been a month since Phoenix had his unplanned visit. Since then, I have heard nothing from him. They are busy again on the world tour.I've seen in their schedule that they're in China today (don't think that I'm stalking him, it just happened that I'm up the net when I saw their schedule)."Are you okay, Sol? You've been spacing out the whole time.""I'm just tired.""You're doing nothing and yet you're tired?"I did not answer. It's tiring to wait for nothing. Wait. Who's waiting for who?I stood up and dragged Chan out. If I stay inside my house longer - I will go reall
PhoenixThe light coming from the window woke me up. I tried to open my eyes but shut it again when the light almost blinded me.I smell something that made my stomach grumble but I lay still on the bed.I have never been comfortable like this for a long time. I glance at the wall clock and the small hand hits 10. A curve lifts up on both sides of my mouth. At least she didn't kick me out during the dawn.I put on my clothes before getting out of the room. I found her sitting in the kitchen with a book in her hand. I captured a photo of her before approaching her."Good morning." I beamed at her but she didn't even bother removing her eyes on her book."Good morning." she finally said as soon as she finished the last page of the book she's reading.She prepared the meal while I took the book she's reading a while ago.She just kept quiet while we ate. She hardly even look
SolIt's been exactly three months since the day the bastard left. I should have not trusted him.I should not hope that he's really sincere when he says he wanted to find me.Who am I kidding?He loves his career pretty much sure than he loves anything and everyone else.I am indeed a fool for thinking he'll make his promises but who am I kidding? Pheonix Glenn will always be Pheonix Glenn. I don't even know why I trusted him. I don't even know why I believe him when he said he'll make it up to me.His group is on the news so I turned off the TV. It's almost midnight and I'm stuck in my new house doing nothing, waiting for my ideas to come pouring down.Mom cried really hard when she learned that I'm moving out. I feel bad for not telling her immediately but Zeck comforts me by telling me she'll understand and I'm too old and I can decide on my own.&
PhoenixI let myself fall on the floor as my sweat bathe my whole body. Sol is surely bloody mad at me right now. We almost fixed it but here it is again.If I could only punch my manager for being extra annoying, I already did as soon as I step afoot at the airport this morning.We talked about one week vacation but they suddenly sent me back. This comeback is pretty maddening. We already talked that we're coming back two months from now and they're suddenly telling me that we will move it in advance."Aren't you going back to the dorm?" Sujin asked me. He's the group's rapper.We're the only ones who were left in the practice room while the others went back to the dorm already. He can speak in English because he studied in California when he was in high school but he's a full-blooded Korean."Later. I'll just take a rest for a while."&nbs
Sol.We circled the bonfire. I'm holding my notebook and drawing something in it when Phoenix Glenn sat beside me.The cold wind blows, making me shake. I'm still wearing my dress which happens to be so thin."Don't you know how to play the guitar, Sol?" Kollin asked.He handed me his guitar and everyone looked at me. I heave a sigh as I try to recall the chords. It's been ten years since I played the guitar.I played the song I played when we had our first practice for the school festival in college.Stupid memories assaulted me and I closed my eyes real tight to push th
Pinilit kong pumasok kahit sobrang sama ng pakiramdam ko. Dapat masaya ako kasi tumawag si kuya Zeck at sinabing isasama na niya kami sa Korea. Pero bakit wala akong maramdaman?‘Di ko siya nakita sa school nang dumating ako kaya dumiretso nalang ako sa classroom.Jedd, Kollin, Chalk, and Alvie came rushing to me. They all look worried. I inhaled all the possible strength I'm needing before smiling at them."Bakit ganyan mga mukha niyo? Luh, parang ewan.""Okay ka lang ba, Sol?" Jedd asked.Nginitian ko sila tsaka tumango. "Oo naman. Bakit naman ‘di ako magiging okay?""Anong nangyari sa inyo ng pinsan ko?" Inis na tanong ni Alvie."Di ko din alam. Sabi ko naman sa inyo. Mas gwapo si Suho ko. Bahala siya sa buhay niya. Teka nga, bakit ba parang kayo yung nakipag-break? Haha. Tsaka wag niyo namang awayin yung tao. B