Chapter 5

Allison’s POV

I could feel the raw, electric energy pulsing through my veins. Every fiber in my body screamed to resist, to pull away from Collen. I had spent years building walls around my heart, a fortress of self-control that kept Clara, my wolf, under restraint. Tonight the barriers crumbled.

The torch by Collen lighted a fire I had worked so hard to quench. But the animal part of me, the primitive side of Clara, was insistent. My human half fought hard, but the wolf inside me roared, famished for that connection that only Collen seemed to provide. More than just lust.

"Allison," Collen whispered, his voice low and rumbling, sending shivers down my back. His breath was hot against my neck, the pressure from his hands firm but light on my skin. For a moment, it seemed the rest of the world around us blurred, leaving just the two of us, intertwined in a dance as old as time itself.

"No," I whispered back, though I could feel the weakening in my resolve. "This isn't right."

But Clara had other plans. The wolf howled within me, pushing me to the brink. My control slipped, and before I knew it, I was kissing him back, my body responding to his with a fervor I couldn't deny.

Our bodies were in perfect harmony with the desire and desperation. It was intense, raw, and completely consuming. My mind screamed at me to stop, but the influence was too powerful. I was lost to the sensation, to that almost animal-like connection that held them in its jaws.

Just as the ecstasy reached its peak, something inside me snapped. I pushed Collen away, my breath coming in ragged gasps. "What are we doing?" I cried, my voice trembling with a mix of anger and sorrow. "How could you?"

Collen's eyes widened in shock, his expression a mixture of confusion and hurt. "Allison, you wanted this too. You can't deny it."

"I didn't want this!" I shouted, my hands shaking.

And you knew! You knew everything and yet... You did this."

Collen's face hardened, his eyes flashing with anger momentarily. "Don't you dare put this all on me, Allison. Do you think I don't wrestle with my demons? Do you think it's so easy for me? I have to live with the fact that you're sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend. What does that make you?"

The words slapped me like a physical blow, and I staggered back, my face streaming with tears. "I know," I sobbed. "I know I'm no better. But this. This is different. We. We’re supposed to be different."

An awfully heavy silence fell between the both of us, full of unspoken words and feelings neither knew how to get across. My heart was a stormy sea, waves of anger, guilt, and regret banging against each other.

"I still don't understand how we got here," I said softly, my voice barely audible. "We were supposed to be better than this.

Colleen ran a hand through his hair, the frustration evident in every movement. "Maybe we're not better people than we thought," he said bitterly. "Or maybe we're just human, prone to the same mistakes and weaknesses as everyone else.".

Eyes flashing, I snapped back, "You don't get to be philosophical about this, Collen. We crossed a line, and it wasn't just any line. This. This was a betrayal on so many levels."

More anger flickered across Collen's face. "And you think I don't know that? Do you think I don't feel the weight of what we did? But it wasn't just me, Allison. It was you too. We both made this choice."

I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms. "I know," I whispered, my voice cracking. "I know we're both to blame. But I can't just accept it. I can't just act like it's okay."

"Who said anything about it being okay?" Colleen retorted. "I'm not asking you to forgive me, or even to forgive yourself. I'm just asking you to face it. To acknowledge that we did this together."

My breath caught as I worked to shake off the rising emotions. "I can't keep doing this, Collen. The guilt is eating me alive. Every time I see her. Every time I look at my best friend, all I can think about is how we've betrayed her.".

For a moment, I allowed myself to lean into his touch and draw comfort from the warmth of his hand. Then the moment was gone, and reality came crashing down around me once more. I pulled away, and there was some distance between us.

"You should go," I said quietly, my voice amazingly steady despite the turmoil within me.

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I said, "And Collen, from now on, don't just come over unannounced. Let me know when you're coming so that I will be prepared."

His shoulders slumped, defeated, with a defeated look on his face. "Okay, Allison. I'll respect that."

I turned away, my eyes welling with tears, unable to stand watching him leave. The door closed behind him, and the sound echoed in the empty room.

The silence that followed was deafening. I sank onto the couch as my body began to shake, fighting off the tears. I buried her face in my hands as the weight finally crashed down on me once more.

"What have I done?" I whispered to the empty room. Echoes of my words seemed to mock me, cruelly reminding me of my betrayal.

I stood at the window, my eyes out in the dark fields of the night sky. 

I stood so lost in thought that I did not hear the door open until Hannah's voice sliced through the silent darkness. Only then did I realize I was no longer alone.

"Allison? You okay?" Hannah's voice was soft, tinged with concern.

I turned slowly, my heart doing an uncomfortable flip. There stood Hannah, my best friend, the one I’d betrayed. The guilt surged anew, threatening to choke me. I tried to force a smile, hoping that it didn't show up quite as strained on my face as it felt. "Hey, Hannah. Didn't hear you come in."

Hannah took a few steps closer, her brow furrowed in concern. "I called your name a few times. You seemed lost in thought. Is everything all right?"

I swallowed hard, trying to steady the furious pounding of my heart. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just. Thinking about stuff."

Hannah's eyes were soft with sympathy. "Stuff? Is it about your mate?

The question felt like a punch in the gut to me. How could I tell Hannah the truth when it would destroy her? I shook my head hard, forcing myself to not look away. "No, it's not about him. It's about the job.

Hannah's concern shifted to understanding. She reached out and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "You'll do great. You always do. Don't stress about it too much."

"Thanks, Hannah. I appreciate it."