CHAPTER 175

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE

JAY Point of View

I walked away from Damon, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside me. I was worried about Jess, and I regretted the way I had treated her. I couldn't believe how I had ignored her, pushed her away when she needed me most. I had been so caught up in my own problems, my own guilt and shame, that I had neglected the one person who truly cared about me. Now, it seemed like it was too late. Jess was hurt, and I didn't blame her. I had broken her trust, and I didn't know if I could ever repair it. I felt a pang of sadness and regret. I wished I could go back in time, do things differently. I wished I could amend things, make it right between us. But it was too late now. The damage was done, and all I could do was hope that someday, somehow, Jess would be able to forgive me. I sighed, feeling a sense of despair wash over me. I had messed up, and now I had to live with the consequences. I walked back to my quarters, feeling lost and alone. I didn't know how to fix things, how to make it right. All I could do was hope that someday, Jess would give me another chance. I walked to Sara's quarters, my heart heavy with regret. I knew what I had to do, and it wasn't going to be easy. Sara opened the door, a smile on her face. But as she saw the look on mine, her expression faltered. "What's wrong?" she asked, her voice hesitant. I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Sara, I'm sorry. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I realize that I've been using you as a distraction. I've been trying to fill the void left by Jess, and it's not fair to you." Sara's eyes widened, and she took a step back. "So, you're ending it?" she asked, her voice trembling. I nodded, feeling a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry, Sara. You deserve better than someone who's still in love with someone else." Sara looked at me, her eyes filled with tears. "I knew it," she whispered. "I knew you still had feelings for her." I didn't say anything, just stood there, feeling like a heel. Sara deserved better than me, and I was glad she was free of me. With a final glance, Sara turned and walked away, leaving me standing alone in the doorway. I sighed, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. It was over, and now I could focus on making things right with Jess. I was sitting in my quarters, lost in thought, when I heard a knock at the door. I got up to answer it, expecting it to be one of my pack members with a question or concern. But to my surprise, it was Sara. She was crying, her eyes red and puffy, her face streaked with tears. "Jay, please," she sobbed, throwing herself into my arms. "I don't know what I'll do without you. I love you." I was taken aback by her outburst, unsure of how to react. I had thought that ending things with her would be a clean break, but now I realized that it wasn't going to be that easy. "Sara, please," I said, trying to calm her down. "We've already talked about this. I'm sorry, but I have to be honest with myself and with you. My heart belongs to Jess." Sara's sobs grew louder, and she clung to me tightly. "No, Jay, please don't say that. I'll do anything, just don't leave me." I felt a pang of guilt and sympathy for her, but I knew that I couldn't give in to her demands. I had to be strong and firm, no matter how hard it was. I held Sara at arm's length, looking into her tear-stained face. "Sara, please listen to me," I said, my voice gentle but firm. "You deserve so much better than me. I'm not good for you, and I'll only hold you back." Sara's eyes welled up with tears again, but I could see the faintest glimmer of understanding in them. "I know it's hard to let go, but trust me, you'll be better off without me," I continued. "You're young, talented, and beautiful. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it on someone like me." Sara took a deep breath, and I could see the tension in her body begin to ease. She nodded slowly, and I could see the acceptance in her eyes. "I'll leave the pack," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'll go to my grandmother's place. She's been wanting me to visit for a while now." I nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. "That's a great idea," I said. "Your grandmother will be able to help you heal and move on." Sara nodded, a small smile on her face. "Thank you, Jay," she said. "I'll always care about you, but I know I deserve better." I smiled back at her, feeling a sense of pride and admiration for her strength. "You do deserve better, Sara," I said. "And I have no doubt you'll find it." As I watched Sara walk away, I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. I had hurt her, and that knowledge weighed heavily on my conscience. I knew I had been selfish, using her as a distraction from my feelings for Jess. But as I reflected on my actions, I also knew that I had done what was necessary. I couldn't keep stringing Sara along, giving her false hope when my heart belonged to someone else. It was a difficult realization, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I had to be honest with myself and with Sara, no matter how hard it was. I took a deep breath, letting the guilt and regret wash over me. I knew I would carry this weight for a while, but I also knew that I had made a necessary decision. Now, I just had to hope that Jess would forgive me and give me another chance.