Studio... house... dinning...room...studio... house... kitchen...room...studio... house... dinning... kitchen...roomIt's been on repeat for days and it's driving me nuts.Sometimes I just wanna go out and explore and do some other things and all..I'm even grateful for the studio..it's a small escape from all this sometimes..so I just dedicate myself to it.Today I stayed back a little late Because this particular drawing was a bit complex...by the time I was done it was 8pm.I packed up and locked up and headed outside.To my surprise, there was a black G-Wagon sitting right in front of the building.That's Amber's car.My heart skipped a bit because fuck we haven't had a conversation with more than 3 words In almost 3 weeks now.I looked around and my security guys were there."Is that Amber?", I asked."Yes ma, he dismissed your driver and said he'd take you home himself", one of them replied.I nodded slowly and slightly surprised.I arranged my bags in my hands properly and walke
3 weeks...three fucken weeks and Amber hasn't spoken to me.. it's fucken killing me.I can't even draw anything reasonable without him drifting his way into my mind.I don't know but he's been rather calm lately. He's barely at home and the few times he's around, he's in his room or he's in his office.I've been trying honestly .... maybe a little too hard but I'm looking really stupid these days just trying to get him to talk.I'm sorry but I'm lonely in this place...most of the time I talk to James, Aaron and I don't really relate that well and Asher isn't a social person. Mrs Williams has a lot of things doing and Sam has work to do.Honestly if I didn't get this studio....I don't know how I would have survived But I still need company..I know I said I wanted every damn space and all....but like it's way too much.And I feel like we just started getting along... now this?I looked at the time....it was 10:56pm.I could actually stay longer till like midnight honestly... because th
AmberLexy Fucken MattewsI don't know what exactly this girl is doing to me, but I don't like it...I don't like it at all.I am unconsciously creating a small part of my black heart for this woman to slip inside.I woke up this morning and found myself holding this girl like my life depended on it to survive.I saw myself in the most vulnerable position in the world, and she was holding me back!Like I couldn't move at a point, I felt like I was breaking inside.I started having this nostalgic feeling and it was driving me nuts.It reminded me of my mother, it reminded me how close she use to hold it me... and fuck it was breaking me I pulled away sharply and she stirred.I immediately regretted it.I was lucky she didn't wake up.Fuck this woman is beautiful... like sometimes I wonder how the fuck she's married to me.I remembered last night, and everything that happened.I can't believe I actually told her to stay back....and she fucken did...damn!I took a deep breath in and rele
Lexy...I rolled a bit for the 1000th time that day and to My greatest surprise, those huge soothing hands weren't around me anymore.I opened my eyes, the bed was empty..be was gone.How the fuck did I not know?Everytime he stirred in his sleep I'll be forcefully woken up and I'll have to hug him tightly and tell him to go back to sleep.Gosh he's such a big baby.I don't think I want to go to work today... might just stay back a little and hope that Amber actually tells me why he's been off lately.I got a better view of his room...Damn it was huge and gloomy goshhhWhat kind of dark aesthetic is this???I feel like ripping off those scary drapes and replacing them with something less creepy... But I can't, this isn't my room either way Last time I was here I couldn't really see the room, but now is creepy.I rolled out of his bed and walked out of his room quietly and went into my room to freshen up.***An hour later I was done and went to find Amber.He was having breakfast
Club 001 I just hate this place, I mean seriously we could have gone anywhere in the world than here.He turned off the engine and took his headphones off and then opened the door and got out.I did the same tho it wouldn't be so bad if he oh I don't know opened the car for me and all...I'm just saying.He didn't put his hands around me like last time, he didn't hold me... nothing...he just started walking towards the building.Then he stopped abruptly and turned around and saw me still standing beside his car.He looked at me confused and then sighed and walked back towards me."What?", he asked.I didn't say anything, honestly I didn't even know what he wanted me to say...I just held unto my bag like a three year old."Let's go in", he said."Why?", I asked.He arched his brow, "What do you mean why?"."Why here, what am I doing here, why did you bring me here exactly...I really don't understand", I said.He rubbed his temple,"Lexy, we're not going to do this today, okay? let's go
Two..three.. four... five...I've lost count of the amount of drinks I've had.It's been a while since I last went drunk, and today I want nothing in my head other than bubbles because I don't want to think tonight..I wish that by morning I will forget everything about tonight.I noticed someone sit beside me, but I was least concerned as I forced the bitter liquid down my throat."You declined my presence for alcohol? now I'm sure you do not have taste at all", I heard the person beside me say.I turned to look at him sluggishly and a saw a faint image of this man that looked my dad's age.I scoffed, "What is it with you old men and young ladies, geez didn't you have a life when you were younger?", I mumbled.He smirked, "Old or not, I can take you round the world with just one machine", he said."Yeah sure with your fully erected 5inches dick, of course you can ", I said rolling my eyes."You seem fierce, I like you", he said.I laughed a little."What's funny darling?", he asked."
You see the shit they call Alcohol??Fuck it!!!!I just woke up on Amber's bed today and I wondered what exactly I'm doing here, and then every damn memory of last night flashed into my head and I fucken screamed.Like holy fuck I told Amber that I use to have sex dreams of him, I fucken told him that, and I regret it...!!!!I regret every damn thing that happened last night, what the fuck was I even saying? Shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck shit fucken shit, fuckkkkkkkkkkk.Oh My God all my standards and morals in the trashhhhhh.How am I even supposed to even look him in the face 😭😭Fuck you vodka!I immediately jump out of bed just incase he comes in again, I am not ready to see him, I'll be so fucken embarrassed.I'm so lucky I didn't even talk about my conversation with Tiffany yesterday.Fuck me.I tip toe to the door and opened it quietly, I poked my head out like a three year old and looked left to right about a thousand times before I ran into my room and shut the door behind
There's a very certain sexual tension between Amber and i, and it's very very thick.Like... the eye contacts...The meeting in very uncomfortable positions lately....The stares... the looks...His words... the way he responds to things.I almost forgot what his father did to me.But no I could never tho.This morning while having breakfast with the boys...Aaron said something about his father and I froze.Like on the spot."Amber can you see your dad?", I asked calmly.All of them stopped their conversation and looked at me like I was crazy."You ? you want to see my dad?", he asked confirming if I was normal.Of course I'm not fucken normal!Jesus Christ Tiffany told me not to talk about these people or anything related to them else they'll kill me!But then I want to investigate on this..I want to know the real truth and I want to know who's involved and why they're doing this to innocent people!"Yes", they exchanged glances... very much confused."I'm sorry I gotta ask....uhm..