A D A M
“Justin just texted me he’s on his way to Naya’s place.” Chloe says, sipping harshly on her Milktea.
I immediately look at her with a startled reaction on my face.
“He’s what?” I assert.
“I think he’s helping her on something with school.” Chloe tells me, before putting her tea on the table. I can’t be that surprised Justin’s putting higher effort now with Naya, but she can’t trust him completely.
“I should go.” I say, standing up.
“What? Where are you going?”
“I forgot to… turn off my heater at my apartment.” I rush to walk away from her before she can ask another question.
“Thanks for coming with me today!” She yells from our table.
Chapter song: It'll be okay by Shawn Mendes
N A Y AI walk back to the living room where Justin is eating the pizza alone and watching a football game on the TV.“I’ll be back. I just need to get something from the room.”Just when I turn around, Adam is coming out of the kitchen. The hallway to my bedroom is right next to it so it’s hard not to pass him on the way. I can see the devastation on his face. His eyes are fixed on the floor. When I reach my room, I lock the door and lean against it. As if all this time I was holding my breath when I finally let all the heaviness out of my chest. I place my palm against it and cry hard. I didn’t mean to say those words to him. I’m still in pain and confused about the things Justin revealed about him. Maybe I was lying because I am so done with Adam always showing up out of nowhere and acting as if everything is okay when he’s near.I just wanted to give back the pai
A D A MMy phone is ringing from my pocket. Our warm breaths are colliding with each other. I try to pull away from Naya for once before kissing her back and then finally breaking the kiss. She lies underneath me , catching her breath, while I rarely make it on top of her on the couch in her living room.I can see the puzzled look on her face as I lift my phone in the ai.“Who is it?”“It's Chloe.”“Why is she calling you? What does she need from you?” She wants to know.“We'll figure out what she needs once I answer this. Give me a minute.” I lift a finger to excuse myself.I stand from the couch and walk a little farther from Naya.“Hello?”“Adam?” Chloe's crying voice drops my heart.“It's me. &rdq
NAYA Everyone gets busily slipping into their seats with their partners. Since the bus has a two seats in each column, assigned partners should seat next to each other and sleep in the same tent for the entire duration of the trip. As of this moment, Mrs. Lee is checking all the students’ attendance right before the bus door.The sun is out so she has to wear sunglasses, but one thing that has not changed about her is her teacher's uniform. It’s always been a black, knee-length skirt and a white button-up shirt. She looks hot to be a teacher, by the way. There is always be this one teacher that most population in school will admire because how admiring their physical appearance is which I think is Mrs. Lee in our campus. But I think every teacher is admirable in their own ways.When it’s me and Justin’s turn, I smile at her while Justi
A D A MThe bus got an engine problem close to the destination. At first I thought we were heading on a mountain trip, but I’m happy to see the beach location from afar where the bus stands by as the driver is contacting a mechanic to fix it.Mrs. Lee instructed us to walk our way to the destination, since it will take us only ten minutes to get there. She didn’t mention the name of this town, but I am sure it didn’t take more than an hour to arrive here.I wanted so badly to turn the bus around and go home and sleep on my bed for days, but when I caught Naya staring at me as I was pretending I was sleeping, I can’t help but laugh at her reaction. She almost jumps out of her seat as she’s covered in embarrassment. I halfway regretted it because she still is not talking to me. She just turned to the window and ignored as she walked out of the bus the problem announced.She’s w
N A Y ASometimes you want to know the truth without knowing how will your response to it. You just want it. And this is how I feel. I wanted to know so badly what Adam feels about and the words he said about me are the words of truth. And maybe he wants me to hear them without filter without trying to fake his hate. Because I hate him. I hate him for what he said could be true. And I’m close to believing it.When I was running away, I just wanted to go back home. To lock myself in. To keep myself away from the light. Away from the remorseful humiliation in front of everyone. But no, I need to face this all without escaping. But when followed me.Justin followed me, panting, until he sees me sitting on an enormous rock facing the shore. The sun is almost setting.k feel so dramatic sitting here, wiping up my face. I don’t like people seeing me cry. It’s not because I don’t want to be
N A Y AMaybe it is fulfilling for me to make someone feel jealous right across a distance. Because for the first time, I can see how envious Adam looks as I snake my arms around Justin’s as we sit in front of the bonfire. He watches us eat our dinner, which includes pork and beans on our shared plate. Chloe is trying so hard to steal his attention from me. Well, it's not my intention to be an attraction in Adam's eyes, especiallyon this trip, but every time I remember his words earlier, I can’t help but curl toes and bawl my hands closed in anger and pain.Justin feeds me at the same time Adam is feeding Chloe. Maybe he’s enjoying this as much as I do. But it’s different for me. I don’t feel jealou
I watch her fade into the dark. I stop playing the game and follow her instead. At first, I had a brief feeling she was going to kiss me but I'm even more surprised to see the disgust on her face whenher eyes found me. I feltembarrassed in front of her even if she has no way ofremembering this because of her drunkness. It struck me thinking that she would rather kiss him than me, but when she walked awayand went into the dark, it reminded me somehow of what happened earlier when we arrived. It reminded me of the words I cannot take back from that moment. It reminded me of her running away from shame. I need to make it up to her. I just have to. If I won't do anything, she will never be able to know how much a part of me regrets saying those words.
I stare ahead as the morning rises from the mountain beside the ocean. It's such a beautiful sight. Like the sky prepare for agrand entrance for the sun. It looks peaceful and it's quiet here. And I like the soft roaringsound of the waves from a distance. It soothes me from the headache I had when I woke up next to Justin who has nothing but boxers on. Honestly, I didn't mind it. I have seen guys naked before, so it's not a surprise to me at all. He gave me a painkiller and he went back to sleep. Justin just doesn't seem bad at all. I see him more like a friend as of now. I try to go back to the happenings last night but I can't remember a thing. Maybe I won't be drinking again. It just makes me feel foolish the next morning when Idon't know what specific behavior I showed to everyone. At least, I hope I can ask someone to desc
It's been raining for days now. The colder it gets the less likely I want to get up from the bed. The rain keeps pouring out day and night, leaving me always cold and crumpled up in my bedroom for a week. So I haven't been outside the city until tonight when I decided to grab some coffee instead of ordering it online.New York City looks so gloomy but it's the busiest city I've ever known. Everyone's busy catching their dreams across the streets and buildings. This could be the city I would love to be in.While the raindrops fill the streets, and as I wait for the pedestrian line to open in a green light, I stare at the girl from the other side of the sidewalk. She stands there wearing a pink floral dress with her long sleeves that hang low past her elbows. Her eyes are hiding under the umbrella and the reason I am staring at her is because there's something about her lips. The way her deep pink lips rest still in an emotion-less line. There's something about them. Her hair spreads in
A D A M1 YEAR LATER...“Adam you should eat,” Olivia says next to me in bed. “Please, fix yourself. Naya won't like this if she's here.” I just stare at the space on the wall across the room. The sky is bright. I haven't watched the ocean today outside my huge window. They didn't look pleasing as they used to be. I missed her, so so much. EVERYDAY. Olivia walks away from the bed and walks into my closet. “Your mother prepared your clothes so you can take a shower and wash that smell of beer on you.” She's stuffing between the hangers now. “Just don't go to the bar anymore, Adam. Please, look after yourself. Go get some haircut or something.” There's a hind of motivation in her voice but I can still clearly hear the disappointment. Everyone is disappointed in me. I would be if I were them. But it's hard to find the courage to move and take care of myself when I see no light. I don't know where I start. I don't know if I'm worth to ever live again. When Naya died that night, I lost
A D A MI think I have almost ten glasses of vodka already. I feel my head spin around the room. But I can see Naya and that guy in the coffee shop laughing, smiling talking, perhaps flirting too. Why does it hurt so bad to watch someone you love laugh with someone else. It's been three months and it hurts me knowing she jas moved on. This is what I wanted for her. Why can't I be happy? She deserves this. I deserve to see it. I deserve this pain. My prayer was for her to be happy with or without me by her side but I didn't understand now that I'm seeing the evidence of her being happy, it break my heart again. I wasn't supposed to see it. I was inside the coffee shop but I didn't recognize her with short hair. She looks so beautiful in that hair. The moment I was outside and look inside, I recognize her smile. It's been three months since I saw her smile. I wonder how long she's been dating that guy. They look so happy enjoying each other's company. I wish I am that guy. “Chloe?”
N A Y A 3 MONTHS LATER...“Thank you.” I take the go-to cup of my coffee and smile at the girl behind the counter. What a tiring day but still it's beautiful and worthy of coffee.“Naya!” The brunette girl I met from the park three weeks ago is sitting at one of the tables across the room. I wave back at her and don't watch where I'm going. I am about to push the door open when someone pushes before I can be able to. He bumps into cause my coffee to spill over my white shirt. It thuds on the floor and I just stare at the hot burn feeling on me. “I'm sorry, miss. It was an accident.” I eye the guy. “Ryan?” “Naya?” I think he can recognize me enough. “Hey, wow, your hair. You look different from the last I saw you.” He hugs me. He looks different too. He looks expensive. “Yeah. I cut my hair short a few weeks ago.” I tell him further. It's nice to see a familiar face. “How are you?” Someone from behind wants to pass our way. “Can I...if you don't mind buy you another coffee and
A D A MI can hear Olivia's voice downstairs. She is still the same. She greets my mother and asks her how she's doing. That's just her. With respect and I have admired that from her. Our gazes meet as I walk down the stairs. Her smile fades away from being sweet to melancholy. “Adam.” I think I hear a whisper. She walks toward me and gives me a warm hug. “It's nice to see you again, Olly.” I smile at her. We pull away from each other. She eyes me up and down quickly. “Look at you. Fresh and coming back. And you still call me, Olly.” Her innocent smile appears. I haven't seen that for so long. “Well, I'm only glad you're back, Addy.” I laugh at the cringy sound of our old nicknames. My mother clears her throat, “I have to leave now. Please, do enjoy your reunion and make it up. ” She hurries to the door and just like that we're alone in this house. My mother never hired a maid or a driver ever during the marriage life she has with my father. She's very hands-on with every task i
A D A M “Dude, you're joking, right? Like right now in this very early morning, you're leaving?” I can hear the frustration in Cannon's voice. I know she's worrying about Naya too. “You can't just go be in love and leave just like that. You have to tell her. Come on you can do better than this.” I look at the time on my phone and still, it's 6:04 in the morning. She's right. I can do better than this but it's not that easy for me. “Cannon, I can't. I just left her. I can't go back. I'm at the train station and waiting for my train.” She sucks a deep breath and releases it. “What do you want me to do?” I look up at the white ceiling. “Please, if she asks about me don't tell her I'm marrying someone else. Just that.” “What?” She yells. “Are you stupid? Adam, that's even worse than finding out you're gone after taking her virginity. Sorry, it's not what I meant. What I was trying to say is I can't just tell her that you're marrying someone else. It's lacking something. That wil
N A Y AI wake up to the heavy sound of the rain outside my window. When I turn to the left side, Adam's spot is empty already. “Adam?” I whisper to myself. It's more of a worry-filled call that I hope I am not thinking about right now. I call him from my room to the whole place, hoping I will hear an answer from the bathroom somewhere close. My gaze lands on the empty shelves where Adam placed his bag when he brought it here from his place. His shoes are gone. His jackets on the back of the door are gone too. I remove myself from the bed and check the bathroom. It's empty. The closet. Still empty. I take the courage to walk out of the bedroom. The hallway is quiet down and I still the dripping of water from the broken faucet in our kitchen. The kitchen is empty. The dining place is empty.I start to panic.I start to worry.I start to get sad.I start to feel alone. My feet find their way to my parents' bedroom. Still, I would he would have decided to take a look at it or someth
A D A MI am not only worried about what will happen to me. I am also worried about what will happen to us by the time I go.“Adam?” Naya calls, while my arms are wrapped across her chest. I insisted to visit the rooftop where I first recognize her. Technically, the first time we met was when that night she has mistaken me for a thief. “Yes, babe?” A giggle comes out of me. I think every time that babe word takes over our name, it hits different. “I think I had a terrible dream about you leaving.” She says in a lonely tone of voice. I wait for her to continue. “We were sleeping together. And something you said made me very not happy. As far as I can remember unasked you if you want me to wait for if ever you leave me, and you said no. And I woke up crying the next morning. It was a rare dream because my eyes were closed the whole time. I couldn't see actually. I hate that dream.” Her hold on my arms tightens and I tighten my arms around her too. She thinks it was a dream. It wa
N A Y A“So where did Adam find you?” Cannon asks next to me. We find our seats in the cafeteria and now she's been curious about what happened. Honestly, I don't want to talk about it yet but she's my friend. It's time to tell her something. “In the forest. ” “Conscious or not?” She behind peeling off her banana. “Conscious.” I've been thinking about this moment. Where everyone would ask me questions. I hate that I have to recall that moment when I had my head wounded. My hands were tied behind and I have my fave on the ground when I woke up. It was a horrible time for me, that's why right now. If anyone would ask, I decided to twist the story a little. I told Cannon that I ran away because I couldn't help but get sad about missing my family. I didn't put Chloe's name on the story anymore. I'm just tired and I want to move on. I'm still hurt but I think it'll hurt more if everything that happened will occur in the words of those who are involved in that incident. I just want to