Chapter 5: Bailed

The moment it crept to me that I slept inside a police station made me wonder if my life is adventurous or plain stupid. Napapa-iling na lang ako sa stress na natanggap ko ever since I started living my married life. Anyhow, I’m really hoping na maganda ang kalalabasan ng decision ko.

I was asked to get out from the prison cell and I ate with the police on duty. Ang cute nga e, they bought food for me, take good care of me and talked to me as if I just stayed here to visit. It’s still 7 in the morning and yes wala pa akong tulog. Ini-inom ko na ang hot chocolate na binigay nila sa akin habang nasa labas ako. The silence is creeping me out, chariz, anong silence Audy? Silent ba ‘to?

There’s this woman, “Karen” woman that’s been lashing out to the police dahil lang nabangga ang sasakyan niyang mukhang pinaglumaan na ng panahon. I shook my head in disapproval as I looked at her.

“No officer! My car is brand new damn it! Kahapon ko lang siya nabili tapos ngayon eto?! Binangga lang ng isang grab driver?!” she exclaimed. Ang oa naman.

I looked at the grab driver at na-aawa ako sa kanya.

He’s been shaking since he came here, natatakot siguro siya mawalan ng trabaho or malagot sa boss niya.

“Misis, ikaw ho ang kumuha ng linya na hindi ho sa’yo, nagdadrive lang ho siya ng maayos sa daan pero dahil nagmamadali ho kayo nasagi niyo ho siya dahilan bakit ho na-out balance si ser at natumba sa gilid niyo ho,” the policeman explained in the most sarcastic way possible, making the Karen more furious as she was before.

Parang iritang-irita na ang mga police sa kanya pero tumayo pa siya at hinampas ang mesa na ikinagulat naming lahat. Muntikan ko pang mabitawan ang hot choco ko, from Jollibee with love pa naman ‘to, mwahahahah.

“No! I was in a hurry dahil may kukunin akong anak sa school! My Rena is sick!” she exclaimed again, her lips quivering. Hindi ko alam kung drama lang ba o ano.

“Misis, nasa ospital na ho ang anak niyo at maayos na ho ang lagay niya, tsismoso ho ako kaya alam ko hong ‘yong tumawag sa inyo ay doctor.” Nakangiwing sambit ng police. Natatawa naman ako rito sa gilid dahil hindi na maipinta sa galit ang mukha ng Karen na ‘to.

I looked at the grab driver again, he’s just so silent since kanina pa, parang naghihintay lang siyang siya naman ang kausapin.

“Ser? Pwede ho bang hingin ko ang lisensya niyo ho?” the police asked the driver na agad din namang sinunod ng driver. Nanginginig pa rin ito sa takot.

Nang pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang huli, I was surprised when his left leg is bleeding. It’s a burn.

“Uhm sir?” I called the police’s attention. When he looked at me, I pointed at the driver’s leg, making him stand up.

“Ser! May sugat ka!” he exclaimed.

I saw the damn lady roll her eyes, making me hate her more.

“Buti nga,”

I even heard her say before scoffing. That’s it. I stood up and looked at the police.

“How much ba ang damage, sir? I’ll pay,” I said, looking at the grab driver while crossing my arms.

“Ma’am? Hala ma’am ayos lang po.” Nanginginig ang boses na sabi ng driver kaya ngumiti ako.

“Gamutin mo muna ang sugat mo sa center, ako na ang bahala,” I said and smiled at him.

“Ma’am, hindi- okay lang po talaga, kaya ko naman po,” he retaliated again to which I responded with a glare. Natahimik naman siya kaya iginiya na siya ng isang police habang ang isa naman na nagsusulat ng report nila ay bumalik na sa pagkaka-upo sa kanyang upuan kanina.

I sat down on the adjacent seat from the Karen. My eyebrow rose up when she looked at me from my head down to my feet. I straightened my back and cross my legs to let her feel that I have much authority than her.

“Sigurado ka po ba ma’am?” the police asked, scratching his nape. I nodded and looked at him.

“Yes, sigurado ako, pwede naman siguro ipakulong ang sino mang may sala right? Sir? I can have my attorney process the case para walang mabayaran ni isang kusing si kuyang driver from this- I don’t even know what to call this entitled bitch,” I sneered, while looking at the lady. I think she’s just in her mid-30’s but I don’t effin’ care kung 70+ pa siya.

Nagsalubong agad ang kilay ni Karen habang nakatingin sa akin.

“What did you just call me? Entitled bitch? Eh ikaw nga ‘tong nakiki-alam sa business ng iba! Sino ka ba ha? If I know kinulong ka dito because of drugs, you youngsters disgust me,” she retorted back, making me smirk.

“And you entitled Karens make me puke, you got angry by entitled bitch ibig sabihin bitch ka talaga, ikaw naman pala may kasalanan ikaw pa may ganang magwild here sa police station for what? For money? Oh please, how much for your soul? Ang mga katulad mo ay nabibili ng pera kaya ibig sabihin you’re nothing but a piece of garbage,” I said, spitting venom at her. Her eyes and face reddened, nagalit ko ata talaga siya, big time.

“I’ll sue you for this!” she squealed. Akmang sasampalin niya ako pero nahuli ko ang kamay niya at tinulak siya.

“Try touching my face with that filthy hand of yours and you’ll end up being in prison, not for months but years,” I said with conviction, hindi ako nagbibiro base sa tono pa lang ng pananalita ko. I looked at her with glaring eyes while she looked at me like a puppy. Para siyang natakot sa banta ko. Hindi ko na namalayan na may nakatingin pa lang police sa amin.

“Now, how much?” I asked, looking at the police again. Agad tinikom ng police ang bibig niya at nagtype.

“Magkano raw misis?” Tanong niya sa Karen na ngayo’y nakatingin na sa kawalan.

“How much for your fucking soul, Karen?” I asked this time with a sarcastic voice. She looked at me and left without permission.

Napakamot naman ng ulo niya ang police as I shake my head. Those idiots.

“Anak ng- kailangan no’n magbayad e!” Napa-upo ng maayos ang pulis sa frustration niya.

“Sorry officer,” I said and bowed.

“Why are you bowing? What happened?” A familiar voice asked making me look at the entrance. Jiro in a business suit welcomed my vision.

“Jiro? Anong ginagawa mo rito?” I asked, brows furrowed. Nasagot lang ang tanong ko pagkakita ko sa attorney ni dad. My mind calmed down as I saw Attorney Corpuz smiling at me with his dad-like smile.

“Iha? How was your sleep?” Attorney Corpuz welcomed me with a hug, I hugged him back.

“All good ninong,” all I could say before he nodded and gave his business card to the police.

“Attorney Sirius Corpuz, I’m here to bail my client out, it was a mistake that you imprisoned her here without proper process, sir, this is actually a trial case,” Attorney said to the police making the latter gulp down.

“Eh sir ‘di naman po namin mahindian si ser Solomon.” Natatakot na sambit ng pulis kaya napabuntong-hininga si Ninong.

“Process her release please before I sue the station.” May ngiti man sa labing sabi ni Ninong pero alam nilang hindi ito nagbibiro. Nagmamadali pa silang magprocess ng release ko.

“Ninong, you don’t have to scare them like that, they were nothing but kind to me,” I whispered to Ninong making him laugh. He even pinched my nose and smiled.

“They made you sleep on a metal bed, my god daughter,” he said still smiling.

“Napakaprotective ng Ninong,” Jiro said that made me stuck my tongue out at him. He chuckled in a manly voice before hugging me.

“How are you?” Jiro asked, I buried my face on his chest and close my eyes. Bigla na lang ako dinalaw ng antok.

“I’m fine, they were so talkative to me,” I said, referring to the officers on duty here.

“You’re talkative too,” he replied. Ang ginawa ko, kinurot ko ang tagiliran niya making him jolt in shock.

“Ouch, Clara!” he exclaimed.

“Shut up, Jiro, I’m sleepy,” I said again, yawning this time. His hug became tighter when I said that.

“Sleep, I know wala ka pang tulog since kagabi,” he whispered and so I did. Bigla na lang akong nakatulog habang yakap niya ako.

When I woke up, nasa bahay na ako. All wrapped up in my comforter, snuggling next to my long pillow. Hmm.

I yawned and sat down, stretching my arms as I stood up. Giggling, I went inside the bathroom, deciding to take a bath dahil ambaho ko na promise. I took my time brushing and scrubbing my body as I sing a happy song.

When I finished bathing, I put my silk robe on with my bra and panty underneath it.

Pababa na ako ng hagdan nang nakatagpo ko si Manang Lourdes. Hindi pa lang ako naka-imik ay niyakap na niya ako. Nagulat man ay yumakap na rin ako pabalik.

“Manang?” I called her as I rub her back. I can hear her sobbing and I can feel my silk getting wet.

“A-akala namin hindi ka makakalabas,” she said still sobbing.

“Manang-“ I called again with a raspy voice. Ayoko na umiyak.

“Pasensya na ma’am naiyak lang ho talaga ako, natakot ako para sa inyo ho.” Kabadong sabi ni Manang habang nakayakap pa rin sa akin. I almost teared up too.

“Manang, I’m safe, walang mangyayari sa akin ulit, I promise,” I replied in a whisper and caress her back again.

Buong buhay ko si Manang Lourdes ang nag-alaga sa’kin. Nagpapatulog, nagpapakain at naga-alaga kapag wala sila mommy at daddy sa bahay. Para na rin siyang nanay ko kung tutuusin kaya nai-intindihan ko ang takot niya ngayon.

“Ano po ba talaga ang nangyari bakit ka po dinala sa presinto?” she asked. Napipilan ako sa tanong niya. Natatakot akong sagutin dahil alam kong magagalit na naman sila sa sir nila.

“May nagawa lang ho,” tanging nasagot ko sa kanya kaya tumingin siya sa akin na may pagdududa ang mga mata.

“Ikaw ba talaga ang may kasalanan no’n iha?” she asked, looking at me with that curious pair of eyes.

I just nodded in reponse and smiled brightly para hindi na siya mag-alala pa.

“Ako po talaga, hindi po ako napagbintangan,” I said again, laughing when she creased her forehead.

“Iha, kilala kita, aakuin mo ang responsibilidad na hindi sa’yo kaya hinding-hindi ako maniniwala na ikaw ang may kasalanan, sigurado akong napagbintangan ka lang,” she spoke as if she’s very sure of whatever has happened, where in fact, it was actually my fault that Bria got into a miscarriage.

Ngumiti na lang ako para sabihing talo na ako sa

argumentong ‘to. Bumuntong-hininga naman si Manang at iginiya ako papunta sa garden.

“Magliwaliw ka muna rito iha, ikukuha lang kita ng mai-inom,” sambit ni Manang kaya tumango lang ako at umupo sa isa sa mga benches.

I looked at the full garden, butterflies flying around— so as dragonflies and honeybees. There are a lot of flowers here, my lola loves to plant flowers here and there. Kaya nga binili ng parents ko ang vacation house na ‘to for her. They said kasi na mas namumulaklak ang mga tanim kapag malamig ang panahon.

When lola Teressa died, mommy almost had a heart attack. Gladly, we prevented it. Nakita na lang kasi si lola na naka-upo rito kung saan ako naka-upo ngayon na hindi na humihinga. May malaking ngiti na nakabalot sa mukha niya habang hawak-hawak ang isang tangkay ng puting rosas sa kanang kamay.

I was 11 that time, it was the first time I felt depressed. Nana died in front of our eyes, para kaming nawalan ng limb noon.

It felt surreal and I can’t help but think that God was punishing us. Well, that was before, now we moved on.

I smiled to myself when I picked up a pink rose and smelled it. I closed my eyes and just feel the fleeting moment of being free but when I opened my eyes again, my smile faltered. CJ’s beside me holding my glass of juice on one hand, his devilish smile ever present and never wavering.

“I don’t have time for arguments,” I said, hoping and praying that he would just leave me alone.

Despite the fear I am feeling while he sat silently beside me I gathered the courage to stand up. Hindi ko kinakaya ang presensya niya at baka ma-iyak lang ako sa harapan niya and that won’t do me any merit.

“Where are you going?” His voice was demeaning. I know he is angry but I looked at him with a scowl on my face.

“Away from you,” I muttered, calmly.

My gasped was too loud when he grabbed me by the elbow and dragged me inside the house. His angered eyes visible that I got scared of what might happen to me the moment I will fight back.

He dragged me towards the room this time, his hold calloused and uncomfortable. When we entered the room he pushed me down to the bed and that’s when I know I’m up for something I won’t like a bit!

“C-CJ!” I screamed his name when he hovered on top of me, his eyes vicious and horrifying.

I squealed as he strip me off of my clothing. My heart hammering inside my chest and the tears started pooling my eyes. I was bare naked in front of him but I couldn’t do anything especially when he incapacitated me by gripping on my wrists and putting them above my head.

“Now you’re crying little sl-t? Huh? You are nothing but a fvcking sl-t Audrey. Why cry now?” Gigil na gigil siya habang hinuhubad ang sariling kasuotan gamit ang isang kamay.

Nagwala ako sa ilalim niya, hindi ko ‘to gusto! Ayoko nito!

Hindi ko alam na ganito pala siya kahayop. Nagpupumiglas pa rin ako habang tinitingnan niya lang ako sa mata. Alam na alam niyang hindi ko kaya ang strength niya lalo na nang nilagay niya ang isang tuhod sa gitna ng mga hita ko.

Ang mga luhang kanina pa tumutulo ay pinunasan niya pero wala ka man lang mararamdamang pagmamahal doon.

And before I knew it, he is feasting on my body with roughness. He pounded on me with roughness and his kisses were just downright unfeeling making my lips bleeding and I know he left some marks on my neck and chest.

Hagulgol lang ang naitugon ko sa mga ginagawa niya sa katawan ko. Wala siyang ni pagdahan-dahan sa paghawak sa akin. Ilang ulit akong inangkin kahit na naki-usap na akong tama na dahil masakit na ang buong katawan ko.

Hapong-hapo ang mga mata at ang katawan I just curled up under the blanket, looking like a ragged doll.

He left me after he was satiated and I feel relieved and scared at the same time. Alam kong hindi lang iyon ang gagawin niya sa akin, alam kong may iba pa siyang pinapalo kaya takot na takot pa rin ako para sa sarili ko.

I didn’t bother wearing anything kahit lumubog na ang araw. Hindi ako gumalaw sa kinahihigaan ko kahit anong katok ni Manang sa akin. Binuhos ko lang lahat ng sakit by crying my heart out. Masakit sa mata, nakakamugto pero wala akong pakealam. Masakit lahat kahit ang puso ko ay parang biniyak ng ilang beses.

He’s cruel, he’s a monster and now I know. I looked at my chest and his marks were left there. I tried to take it off, tried to make it disappear but to no avail it didn’t. Kahit noong umupo na ako sa kama ay sinubukan ko pa ring tanggalin ang mga ‘yon pero hindi sila natatatanggal!

“You’re still undressed?” His voice stirred my stomach. Agad kong tinakpan ang kahubaran ko kahit napa-igik ako sa sakit.

First time ko ‘yon e at hindi maganda ang memorya ko sa first time na iyon kahit pa sabihing sa minahal kong demonyo ko binigay ang una ko. The sheet had a blot of red on it and I know na ganoon talaga ang mangyayari kahit hindi siya harsh.

Hindi ako umimik sa sinabi niya kaya galit niyang tinanggal ang kumot galing sa katawan ko.

“CJ!” I was horrified. Hindi sa pinapangunahan ko pero his eyes gave it away. The glint of l-st appeared as soon as he saw me naked.

At hindi nga ako nagkamali, kahit alam niyang hindi pa ako nakakabawi he used my body again like a living fvck doll. And again wala na naman akong nagawa.

It was 4 in the morning when he decided to sleep, wala akong kain since kaninang umaga at pagod ako from everything we did but his arm is wrapped against my waist like he was cuddling me.

A lone tear fell from my eye. If this was a normal set-up it would be so lovely. Lovely enough to make me feel giddy pero hindi, nakayapos lang siya sa akin pero ang binubulong niyang pangalan ay kay Bria.

Gising lang ako when he decided to leave the bed again, leaving me all alone again and that’s better for me. Where I couldn’t see him is the best place for my peace of mind.

Binibigyan lang ako ni Manang ng pagkain, pinaligo at pinabihis. Walang kahit na anong tanong galing sa kanya, at Cj’s absence she’s there soothing me with kind words and her little out of tune voice. And it made me feel brand new, making me feel that I still have a parent at my parent’s absence.

2 weeks later or 3 weeks na ata hindi na ako nagtatrack ng panahon dahil hindi naman kailangan. Nasa bahay lang naman ako dahil ayoko lumabas na may mga marka. He never stopped at his efforts to make me feel like I was just there to satiate his needs as a man.

It’s degrading but I became wary of everything he does but my mind will always be relieved when he’s not around. 3 days na siyang hindi nagpapakita and I feel happy kahit na ganoon alam ko pa rin na uuwi at uuwi siya rito and that worries me.