Chapter 7

Mayari stood in front of a funeral home, it’s been a while since she went to a place like this. The last one was her parents’.

There are people in their white shirts walking in and out, the familiar scent of mourning was present. Everyone has this specific face; the same expressions she saw on her parents’ burial. The image of loss and sadness reflects their faces. Flowers are arranged in the cruelest way beside the photo of an old lady. This is the feeling that Mayari doesn’t want to be familiar with.

She walked past the aisle and went to Apollo,

“Hey,” she greeted him

Apollo looked at her with anguish and exhaustion, she sat beside him and held his hands. The thing is—she never learned how to console someone, especially in this kind of situation. She doesn’t know what to say but she knows she needs to stay with Apollo.

“My mother died on my 5^th birthday,” Apollo said without looking at Mayari,

“I was so excited kasi finally kasama ko ‘yong parents ko sa birthday ko, palagi kasing busy si Dad. Minsan naman napapa-trouble ‘yong kuya ko sa school kaya wala si Mama. That’s the first birthday I celebrated with them, that’s also the last,” he said with his eyes still fixed on his grandmother’s casket.

“I jumped into the pool, kasi I badly want to swim with them. I thought they're going to jump with me but I was wrong, everything became blurry. One moment I was happy, the next one was I was drowning. I watched my mom panicked, she ran. Hanggang sa ayon—nakita ko ‘yong mama ko sa gilid ng pool, hindi na gumagalaw, nakita ko na lang unti unting nagiging pula ‘yong tubig mula sa kinalalagyan niya,” he said with tears in his eyes

“Walang araw na hindi ko sinisi ‘yong sarili ko, but my Abuela? She never blamed me. Palagi niyang sinasabi sa’kin na “stuff happens to people, it’s not your fault” she never left me, she never made me feel alone. I grew up with no friends to hang out with but I never felt that, because I have her,” Apollo wiped his tears then smiled

“Hijo de puta! Don’t run, you’ll hurt yourself. Come here, mijo! Ay dios mio,” panggagaya nito sa yumao niyang lola

“Don’t fight with your Dad, mijo! Por el amor de Dios! (for God’s sake!)” dagdag pa niya

“She was the funniest, she’s awesome. She’s my best friend,” he then looked at Mayari with a sad smile

“Now what am I supposed to do without her? How am I supposed to do good, to be a better person each day, if she’s not here to see me,” he hopelessly looked up and shut his eyes

“She’s the only person who believed I can, so I did. Without her now, I don’t think I can. I don’t think I will,” malungkot na saad nito

“I think she wants you to be better on your own now, she’s been there since your day one. She’s been all through your journey, she’ll be happy if you’d have a new one—standing on your own feet, holding your own map, heading to your own path,” Mayari smiled and held his hands, she doesn’t know what to say… but right now, she knows that’s what Apollo’s grandmother wants… because somehow, she knew; that’s what her parents want for her.

Moments have passed and Apollo just stares at his grandmother's remains. He doesn’t want to waste another second, he knew that this will be the last glance he will have with his Abuela.

“You don’t look familiar, so you must not be a relative,” a guy in his mid-20’s approached Mayari

“By the way, Hi, I’m Aman, and you are?” he asked then offered his hands

“I’m Mayari, I’m Apollo’s friend,” she said then points to Apollo who’s standing in front of the coffin.

“Oh, I see. Hm, friend-friend? Or special friends?” Aman asked

“Ah, Nah! We’re just uhm… friend-friends,” she said then chuckled

“Whoa, that’s new huh? He never had friends before,” he said

“Kuya, can you leave my friend alone? Please?” iritableng singit ni Apollo sa usapan ng dalawa

“Kuya?” takang tanong ni Mayari

“Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, I’m Apollo’s older brother,” he said then smirked

“But I guess, I have to go now,” he shrugged then stood next to Apollo

“Well, it was so nice to meet you “friend-friend,” he turned to Mayari and offered his hands once again

Mayari awkwardly smiled then shook hands with him. It doesn’t feel right, she can feel the tension between the brothers and there’s something about Aman that makes her feel uncomfortable.

“Did he say something to you?” Apollo said

“Wala naman, bakit?” she asked

“Nothing, just don’t get near him. He’s a menace,” he said then looked at his grandmother’s casket once again

“You wanna—go out? I mean, get some air?” he asked then stood up, he doesn’t wait for Mayari to respond he just grabbed her hand and walked away.

They went to the building’s rooftop, it’s far from the ambiance downstairs. It feels lighter to breathe, the night was serene and stars are alive. The moon’s lighting up its kingdom once again. They were owning the night like tomorrow never exist, the skies are giving Apollo a moment to breathe.

“Today is gonna be the day,” Apollo started singing

“That they're gonna throw it back to you, by now you should've somehow realized what you gotta do,” he looked up and his eyes are closed, he can feel his tears running their way out from his eyes for the nth time.

“I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now,” he smiled sadly then look at Mayari

“Do you know that song? My mom used to sing it for me,” he said then wiped his tears

“Yeah, that’s my Dad’s favorite song,” Mayari smiled then leaned on the fence.

“Yeah?” he asked

“Yeah. My Dad used to play for me, he loves Wonderwall so much that each time he’s about to start singing I will cover my ears and say “Daddy, stop. I don’t want to hear that again” while stopping his hands to make a strum on his guitar,” Mayari laugh at her thoughts about her Dad

“I never knew that I would miss the way he sings it, I was too young to realize that I should’ve listened over and over, I should’ve recorded his voice in my head so I won’t be longing for that tune for the rest of my life,” she said with regrets

“Yeah, we don’t know it’s the last time until we woke up one day and we just knew, it was the last time, it’s too late to go back and too late to regret that we did not cherish every second with them,” Apollo agreed then looked at Mayari, they both laughed—through the darkening grief they’re both feeling.

“Alam mo, I just finished my novel but Abuela’s not here anymore to read it,” he said then shook his head

“Saan? I’ll read it,” Mayari offered and asked for the said novel of Apollo

“Nah, hindi rin naman yata ako mabibigyan ng chance to publish it plus I don’t have it with me now,” he said then smiled

“Kahit isang chapter lang?” pangungulit ni Mayari

“Oh, I have my ending here on my phone,” he said then gives his phone to Mayari

“Ah ‘di ba eto ‘yong about sa na-in love siya sa killer niya on her past life?” Apollo just nodded

Tahimik na pinagmamasdan ni Apollo si Mayari habang binabasa ng huli ang kanyang nobela, tumatango tango pa ito habang nagbabasa na animo’y hinuhusgahan ang gawa niya.

Muli siyang tumingin sa kawalan at bumuntong hininga, hindi pa rin nais tanggapin ng sistema niya ang pagkawala ng kanyang lola.

“Pinanood ko siyang hawakaan ang kamay ng taong nangako sa'kin, pinanood ko siyang magsimula at muling magmahal. Kung tunay ngang siya ang naging dahilan ng kamatayan ko sa nakaraan kong buhay… he loved me enough in this life to give him the privilege to kill me for the second time,” Pagbasa ni Mayari sa mga huling salita ng nobela ni Apollo

“Ang lalim mo compare sa itsura mo ha? At in fairness sa'yo, wala kang awa,” she commented

“Why? Isn't it good? What do you think?” biro nito

“It's just kinda deep and cheesy compare to what you look like but I love it, I love the thought, hmm…” saad ni Mayari “Do you want to do a collaboration with me?” dagdag nito

“Is that a different way to propose?” biro ng binata

“No, seryoso, do you want to write a script? Then we’ll turn it into a movie someday,” she convinced him then smiled

“Kung anu ano iniisip mo, halika na, bumaba na tayo. I’ll get you a cab,” sumimangot lamang si Mayari sa sinabing ito ni Apollo, naunang naglakad ang huli at bago pa man lumabas sa pintuan ay nilingon ang dalaga at ngumiti

“I’ll think about it, Mayari,” he said then walked out the door.