Chapter 7

I wish I could say life is blossoming for me, but that would be a far fetched lie. A very contradicting one to the truth.

They say a baby is a blessing. A new pure life brought into this world of sin.

But then I question, has the sin engulfed Amaya-Blaze? She was brought into this world by great betrayal, a grave sin. The betrayal of a lover and a best friend.

•●•

June 25th, 2000

"It's a baby girl."

She whaled on until the doctor placed her on Amia's bare chest. Noah stood beside them in awe of the moment. His right hand clenched in the grip of hers, while the other feather touched the baby's hair – a blonde bush of soft curls.

Then the one action that shattered me into millions.

Amia turned to look at Noah and he stared at her with an expression I didn't recognise – was it because he hasn't looked at me, his lawfully wedded wife, in that manner before or was it just something that hasn't been done in this universe? I decide to settle on the previous explanation that is seemingly way worse to me than the latter. It's a look of adoration entangled with bits of delight, hope, enchantment and do I dare to say love.

At this moment nobody mattered to them other than the three of them together. A wall was up and I was looking in from a small window on the outside.

I haven't even realised it yet, but I have been crying. Wet streams are just flowing without question down my cheeks. I can tell, because it has a ticklish effect on my skin.

The doctor noticed me, "Mam this is a private room, I would need you to leave or I will have to call security." As the words make their way into my brain like cutting shears, Noah returns from the alternate universe he was trapped in just moments ago. Our eyes met as the door shut behind me.

The maze of people that blocked my way earlier to reach room 3254 now were not such a hassle for me to surpass. This time around I just let them swallow me whole.

As I reach the doors I can see Leah Meyers, the woman at the front desk, looking at me with the same hazed expression as earlier. I locked eyes with her for just a brief second, before I burst through the glass sliding doors as it opened.

The weather is quite hot today, unusually hot. A strange ringing sound started to sound in my ears. How strange?

Although the strange zinging sound went on and on in my ears, I sucked in a breath a walked to my car which was parked on the far left side.

I weaved through the cars in the parking lot – some of which stood motionless in the park, while others were driven hastily to get to their destination.

After several minutes of walking I'm greeted with the safe sanctuary that is currently my car. I get into the driver's seat, strapping myself in and ready to set my vehicle in drive, just to get as far away from this place, no from them.

I reverse out of the lot with no hassle. The zinging in my head is not going to go away soon, but who cares when your husband is holding the gaze of your ex best friend, while she has just given birth to his first born child, his only child.

The thought of them makes me sick. I thought I was over all of this, over them, but I'm clearly not. To be honest how can I ever force myself to forget what had happened when that girl would be the reminder about how the people I love and loved the most in this world had ripped my heart to bits with this grave betrayal.

Betrayal that caused me the loss of my unborn children and the chance to have any more children in the future.

While driving through the streets of Manhattan, I let out a piercing scream. One so loud that it felt almost like my throat tearing.

I turned up the volume of a random song playing on the radio, so loud that the noise consumed my entire being and silenced my thoughts.

There is this one place I used to come to when I first moved here with my parents. A small restaurant in the centre of all the chaos in this big gigantic city I've been calling home for several years now.

I never felt so out of place before, but now I feel. The heavy sense of unbelonging resonates in me. Something that I never thought would be the case when I'm married to the man I love.

Love, what a questionable thing. It is supposed to be the most beautiful emotion felt by humanity, but sometimes I wonder if all the pain and hardships are really worth the few moments of pure bliss and utter happiness?

It took me quite some time to realise that the zinging sensation in my skull turned into a painful stinging.

The coffee I had ordered arrived and luckily I asked for it to be a takeaway. I paid and thanked the cashier and wished the young man a nice day ahead. He smiled broadly at me, returning the pleasantries.

My car was parked near the exit of the small restaurant. All the while the images of Noah and her still flashing through my inner eye. The intensity of the pain just spiking through the roof.

I unlock my car, the sound of the doors unlocking ringing in my ears. I shake my head a bit, almost like trying to rid myself of the pain my head resides in, but to no avail.

It is probably not the smartest thing for me to do, but I climbed in behind the steering wheel regardless of the state I found myself in.

•●•

After about an hour of driving around aimlessly with the gradually increasing pain consuming my thoughts, I found myself on the doorstep of my parent's house.

I ring the doorbell and then knock on the door. We haven't talked in a while. They supported my decision to marry Noah, but to say that they were in ecstasy about the marriage is a far fetched lie.

I kept on knocking until the door opened. Greeted with my mother's smiling face. The embrace and the tears both came at the same exact time.

"Oh honey, what happened?" My mother asked in that soothing voice she always used to use when I was upset as a little girl. After all these years it still had the same effect on me, but I'm afraid that the bruise I have today is much more severe than a simple scratch mark on my knee.

"Mom, he– she." The tears kept spilling and my mother kept on rubbing my back as she guided me to the lounge area.

"Shh, hun. I'm here for you." She says. "Your mother is here for you." She walked us over to the couch and placed us down onto the plush material.

"She was born today." I say with a shaking voice. The pain in my head reaches its peak as I start to shake uncontrollably.

"Isabella, what is happening?" My mom questions. The panic in her voice was as evident as the colour yellow of an egg yolk.

I feel my eyes starting to roll to the back of my head. Something wet is leaking from my mouth and the pain – it is getting unbearable.

"Vincent help!" My mom yells for my dad to come. I can hear his footsteps quicken while he is running to us down the staircase.

The last thing I hear is my father's voice. "Help is on their way, stay with us my dear."

•●•

The sound of people rushing around me fills my eardrums.

"Doctor, she is waking up." I hear a female voice say. A soft voice with a smooth tone.

"That is a good sign. The seizure she had was quite severe." Another female voice answers. The doctor I assume. "Let her parents know she is busy waking up. They were quite terrified with her condition and I can understand why." At that I hear a door open and a familiar voice resounds in the room.

"Isabella, how is she?" He demands to know. His domineering aura filling the empty spaces the room has left.

"Sir, I'm still busy making sure she is okay after the occurrence. Can you be as kind as to wait outside." The voice of the female I determined as the doctor informs him.

"I don't know if you are aware of this, but the woman laying there is my wife." He says.

"Sir, everyone is needed outside of this room for me to finish my job. Be as kind as to escort yourself out into the waiting room. I'll let you and her parents know when it is possible for you to come in and see the patient." She says firmly.

To my surprise I hear the receding footsteps of Noah and afterwards the slamming of a door, my room's door.

As I am now totally sure that he has left I open my eyes. One thing I didn't expect is the tears spilling from my eyes. The doctor forms out of my blurred vision as I try to wipe away the tears.

"I'm glad to see that you are awake. You gave us all quite a big scare." She says. The prettiest smile just resonates on her face while she speaks. "I'm Dr. Catherine Richardson. Head of Surgery."

"How severe is it?" I ask, ripping off the band-aid. The day cannot get any worse, then what it already is, right?

Or that is what I thought at first.

"I can see that you are a smart woman, therefore I'm just going to give you the rundown of it all now." She says looking into my eyes, with more seriousness filling her features than earlier on.

"You have suffered from a lack of oxygen in the cerebrum area of your brain, that lead to the inhibition of your function of your higher thinking ability and that ultimately caused you to be announced as to be in a vegetative state, all due to the blow to your skull." She says. Telling me everything that I'm already aware of, but before I could interrupt her by telling her that I already know this information, she continues.

"What I'm trying to get to is that you have a tumour that has been growing subtly during your vegetative state. It is rather large and that is why the seizure was as severe as what you experienced it to be." Doctor Richardson says." To come to a conclusion I suggest you have an operation to remove the mass as quickly as possible, otherwise the symptoms will definitely worsen as it develops in size, which all will lead to a fatal end."

To say that I am shocked, will be the understatement of the decade. Out of all the things I thought would be wrong with me, nothing could've prepared me for the truth bomb she has just dropped on me.

"What are the risks of having this operation, doctor?" I ask. Mustering up the most courage I still have stored in my system.

"Well with anything related to the brain, the risk of something bad happening much greater than most of the other operations, this could cause damage to your nervous system which would lead to several different dysfunctions, depending on what the nerve is in control of." She says.

Taking in a much needed breath, absorbing the information thrown my way.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said so much to you in the state you are currently residing in." The doctor says, but I quickly speak up.

"No, you are doing good by telling me this." I say. "This is something I need to process and you did right by giving me more time to think about what you have said."

The smile returns to her lips, "That is good to hear. I know this is not something one will expect to be told when coming to the hospital." She says.

Before I can say another word someone barges into the room.

"I'm sorry doctor, but he wouldn't listen."