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~05-Sensitive Spot~
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2024-10-29 19:42:56"Is there a particular reason for your decision or did you just..." Mom trails off.
She's currently sitting on my bed, trying really hard to calmly understand why I'm refusing to further my education.
But what can I tell her?
'I met an alien 9 years ago, made a sick wish and now I'm not normal which is mostly the reason why I wanted to hate you so much'
I don't think that will sit in well so I just stay quiet.
She runs her hand through her hair for the nth time in exasperation.
I can tell she's trying really hard to stay calm and I'm not making it particularly easy for her.
It warms my heart that she's even here now, trying to understand me and all but I'd prefer if she just dropped this and respected my decision.
"Mom" I say softly "I just really don't want to study anymore"
"But I don't get it, that can't just be it" She furrows her eyebrows in confusion "I mean you've got perfect grades, so many scholarships just sitting right there waiting for you and you want to throw it all away?"
I simply nod in response
"That doesn't seem right, do you know how many people would love to be you? You literally don't have to spend a dime to live comfortably in college"
"Mom, please" I plead "I just really don't want to study anymore"
"I don't understand you" she says quietly "I don't agree with your decision but I'm gonna respect it"
"Thanks, mom"
"Just know that whenever you're ready to talk or you change your mind about college, I'm here for you" she places one hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture.
"Mom, I don't want to stay here" I say softly, staring right into her eyes
"What? Why not? Are you tired of me?" She mumbles her words.
"No, mom, of course not" I quickly assure her "It's just always been my plan to leave this city and go somewhere quiet"
Her face falls "where do you want to go?"
"I've not made up my mind yet but Florida seems like a good choice.
"Okay, you'll need an apartment, furniture. I could get that...you'll need a job right? I could make some calls" she says quickly.
"Mom" I call, a smile playing in my lips "I said it's been a plan of mine for a while. I've thought of those and I've got it covered.. relax, okay?"
"Oh OK. What about a job? You can't have gotten that planned" she raises an eyebrow "I could make a few calls and get you a good job in Florida"
"Mom" I laugh
"Let me help you please, Danny" she pleads "How do you expect me to sleep at night knowing my daughter is miles away and probably doesn't have a well paying job or a good apartment or she's uncomfortable"
She just hit close to home and she doesn't even know it.
Sleeping at night-the one thing I don't have- has become a really sensitive matter to me and I can't bear for mom to be deprived because of something I could let her have.
"Alright, mom. You'll help me but let me make sure I want to be in Florida first" I assure her
"Okay, baby. Get a good night's rest now. I love you" she tucks me in bed like a little child
But I don't argue, I know she misses this and she's trying to make up for those days when she wasn't here for me.
"Good night mom" I smile at her and she places a small, sweet kiss on my forehead
"I love you so much" she whispers
"I love you too, mom" I whisper back "Now, go to bed"
"Okay, I'm going" she turns to leave but stops at the light switch "Do you still like the light on?"
"Yup" I say, popping the p
"You haven't changed" she smiles at me
"Still the same little Shorty you once knew" I smile back "except I'm not that short anymore"
"Whatever, Shorty. Good night" she says opening the door and stepping out
"Good night, mom" I say as she shuts the door.
Then I hop right out of bed to lock the door.
After doing that I take a sit at my reading, dreading another night like this.
Soon after, I change into my boxing clothes and start punching and kicking the punching bag in my room.
But it gets frustrating you know, when you can punch, kick, run, box, fight and all without ever getting tired or breaking a sweat.
That's why I have such a reputation for boxing at the gym... I slowly tire out my opponent and that's when I strike, taking down my opponent with a flourish.
Though some opponents have seemed really tough, they all give in at the end because their normal humans, they get tired and me...well, I'm almost alien.
After punching and kicking the bag in my room for about an hour, I opt for a cold, refreshing bath.
Honestly, I just really love the feel of water on my skin...it's just such a powerful, elevating feel.
I know, sounds weird but everything about me is weird so that ain't new.
After a long bath, I choose to study-not because of any exam or for college or anything like that though- but because it's just become a regular routine.
Something my body is accustomed to.
I choose to reread my old copy of Wuthering Heights for the 9th time.
By the time I'm done with that, it's about 6 in the morning...I'm sure mom is up by now.
I take a quick bath and without drying my hair, I pull it into my usual messy ponytail.
I shrug on a big T-shirt and some jean-shorts.
I unlock my door and head for mom's room.
"Hey, mom?" I call softly as I knock quietly.
If she's still asleep, I wouldn't want to be wake her up.
"Mom?" I call again
No response
I'm about to give up and go make breakfast when she answers.
"Danielle?" I can hear the surprise in her voice.
The door clicks open and she stares at me, surprise evident in her expression.
"Morning, mom" I greet with a small smile
"Morning, Shorty" she replies, moving aside for me to come in.
"Since when are you a early riser?" She asks as I sit at the edge of her bed.
'Since, I never slept at all'
But I can't tell her that, can I? So instead I shrug and say "I don't know, took after you I guess"
She flashes her perfect teeth at me as she stands beside me.
Is she always this smiley now?
"Did I wake you?" I ask in concern.
"No, I was up..just finishing some work" she replies and my eyes travel over to her reading table.
Her laptop's on, and there are piles of document lying all around the table.
"Oh OK, I should leave you to your work then" I say and move to get up.
"I made a mistake once, Danny. I prioritized my work over you...something that won't ever happen again" she states pushing me back down.
"I know, mom...and I love you for that but right now I'm just gonna make breakfast while you finish up your work" I inform and move to get up again
This time she doesn't stop me instead she walks to her work table and I think she's gonna keep working but she picks up the documents laying scattered and arranges them, shuts down her laptop and turns to me.
"Then let's go make breakfast together" she says and pulls me out the room, shutting the door behind us.
Making meals with mom reminds me of when dad was still alive.
"I know, I miss him too" she replies to my thoughts and I flash her a small smile as she gives me a hug.
A warm gesture that touches my heart.
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