CHAPTER 1

"I did it to protect you." The man mumbled.

 "I don’t need any protection from you! All I want is Emman! Bring him back!" Andrew pleaded.

 The young man burst into tears as he looked at Andrew who has a look of grimace all over his face.

 "Emman..." Andrew sobbed in his sleep. His sweats are already trickling from his forehead to the side of his face. His eyebrows were deeply knitted and his mouth slightly ajar in agony.

Karl woke up next to him. He leaned forward and gently caressed Andrew on the arm. "Andrew?" he uttered with worry evident on his face.

 "Emman..." Andrew murmurs again. He was still in agony and couldn’t wake up from his sleep.

Karl brushed his hand on Andrew’s arm, trying to wake the latter once more "Andrew... An-"

 "Emman!" Andrew gasped as his eyes opened. His chest was moving in and out rapidly as if he’s catching his breath. He then anchored his attention towards his boyfriend, Karl who has a worried expression. Karl was holding his arm, rubbing it gently.

"Were you having the same dream?" Karl asked as he moved his hand from Andrew’s arm towards the latter’s cheeks, pressing it on his hand.

 "Karl..." Andrew sobbed as he pulled Karl and wrapped him in his arms.

 "It’s okay. Everything is fine now. I’m here." Andrew assured with a silvery voice. He embraces Andrew back as he gently caressed him.

After a few minutes, Andrew’s breathe went steady and his eyes were no longer shedding tears. He then gently tapped Karl’s back, "I’m sorry for waking you up.” he whispered.

 "Don’t worry about it." Karl faces Andrew as he studied the latter’s face. The lights were off in the room but the curtain from the window was fixed on each side’s allowing the light from the moon to reflect on Andrew’s face. The man is still gorgeous even after crying like a toddler, Karl thought. Of course, he doesn’t like Andrew to suffer from bad dreams but it’s hard for him not to appreciate how handsome those green-colored eyes, messy brown hair, and lips that were as plump as cherry. If it wasn’t for his shorter height, Andrew could have been so perfect already. “I love you.” Karl murmured as he touched his lips on Andrew’s.

 "I love you too." Andrew responded as he wrapped his arms on Karl tightly until both drifted back to sleep again.

It's been a year since Karl and Andrew became a couple. They first met when the two joined the Silver Valley University volleyball team. At first, they don't get along because of their different personalities. Karl is that handsome and tall-looking man with a cold demeanor. He has short sides with long top tousled black hair and almond-shaped eyes with amber and black color. His height and impressively sharp glare are his most prominent physical features and source of attraction to several female classmates. He is of a lean but muscular build. He often emits an intimidating aura, which is heightened by the almost permanent scowl on his face. Perpetually sullen, arrogant, and undeniably short-tempered, Karl had been a typical overbearing perfectionist, caring only about winning and completely disregarding the opinions and well-being of his teammates. However, he is much more sensitive and childish than he appears to be; he simply does not know how to control his frustration, and hence expresses his thoughts and emotions in an inappropriate way. And that personality slowly changes because of Andrew.

Andrew on the other hand is the complete opposite. Andrew is way shorter than Karl, almost eighteen centimeters shorter. His relatively thin build and short stature often lead him to be mistaken for a grade school student. But his height doesn’t stop him from doing what he loves. His layered brown hair was tousled as well. His downturned eyes were a pair of green. More than what he looks, however, he was the quickest in the team that makes him one of the best spikers. If Karl has a cold demeanor, Andrew was the ball of sunshine of the team. He has a cheerful and energetic personality. He is capable of reading social cues and be incredibly empathetic toward others' struggles that make him understood Karl better. His friendly and straightforward personality allows him to get along with even the quietest of people such as Emman. However, despite his generally bubbly exterior, Andrew also has a serious attitude and is capable of hiding one’s true emotions.

Despite having different personalities, Andrew understood Karl’s behavior perfectly and it made Karl wanting to know Andrew better. But he never knew that knowing Andrew better will make him realized that the ball of sunshine has its darkness too and it was that one night that makes him discovered it out.

That one night, Andrew and Karl agreed with their teammates Troy and Nelson to sleepover at Troy's house for a group study. It was because they need a passing mark to be included in the practice game. Karl of course hated that idea. But due to Andrew’s repetition of annoying him and constantly reminding him that he’s not a smart-ass, he finally agreed to join.

 Everyone was already sleeping that night when Karl heard a noise coming from Andrew’s direction.

"Bring him back, Allen... Bring Emman back, please..." Andrew was talking in his sleep, his voice was wobbly and brittle.

 Karl immediately got up to check on Andrew. He noticed some tears running down the latter’s cheeks. His skin was paled and his face was frowning on his sleep. It made Karl realized that Andrew was having a bad dream.

 "Andrew? I’m-" his words were cut off when Andrew suddenly pulled him.

 "Emman... Don’t leave me." Andrew muttered with a thick and apprehensive voice.

 "A-Andrew... This... This is Karl…" Karl said trying to catch his breath from Andrew's tight hug.

 Andrew suddenly woke up and realized he was dreaming again. He immediately sat down causing Karl to be knocked to the side of the floor. "Aww." Karl muttered in pain.

 "K-Karl??" Andrew yelped as he realized that Karl fell on the floor, rubbing his clothed ass.

 "F-For a shorty, you are quite strong." Karl said as he squirmed on his back.

 "S-Sorry!" Andrew muttered as he tried to help Karl. 

 "I-I’m fine. A-Are you alright? It looks like you’re having a nightmare." Karl questioned as he caressed his back.

 "I’m fine. There’s no need to worry. I’m sorry..." Andrew responded giving him an apologetic look and a half-smile. “Did I wake you up?’

 It was first for Karl to see Andrew with that worried face. He was always smiling brightly and now he saw a different version of Andrew.

 "Yes. And you owe me that one.” Karl replied with his mouth curving to a smile. He then stared at their teammates who are still sleeping deeply on the side, as if the noise Andrew made was just normal for them. “Do you want to go outside?"

 Andrew stared at Karl. He doesn’t want to go back to sleep and have the same dream all over again. He nodded and followed Karl outside the room.

 The two decided to stay in Troy's living room. When they finally got to settle on the couch, a bit of awkward silence started to approach them. Karl thought of something to say as he tugs his ear. He believes the gesture would help him out.

"Would you mind telling me wh-" Karl started but he was cut off by Andrew.

 "Can I hug you?" that question of Andrew made Karl flustered. He did not saw it coming and he’s not prepared. "I’m just... Afraid..."

 It made Karl amused. He silently smiled as he tries to hide his expression. Andrew never showed his weakness at him and he always acts mighty as if he always wants to beat Karl even if they are teammates.

 He reaches for Andrew and hugged him softly.

 "Hug me tightly." Andrew demanded audaciously.

 "You’re too demanding." Karl replied in a tone of musing surprise but he couldn’t hide in his blithe voice how he likes the idea. He wrapped his arms tightly but gently around Andrew and the latter did the same.

 "You’re warm." Andrew murmured.

 Karl suddenly felt hot on his face. He just felt his heart did a cartwheel with just one sentence. "W-What are-"

 "You smelled like him." Andrew went on, cutting off his sentence.

"Smelled like who?" Karl questioned. A bitterness crept on his face.

 "Emman." Andrew responded warily as if the idea that the man reminds him of Karl made him cautious.

 Karl immediately let go of Andrew when he heard this. He remembered that it was the name Andrew had mentioned when the latter pulled him earlier. "Who is Emman?" He probed once more.

 "My boyfriend." Andrew responded glumly.

Karl felt a pain in his chest as he heard what Andrew said. His face turned to a sour expression. Who the fuck is Emman? He thought. "You have a boyfriend? You never once-" 

 "He died." Andrew cut him off again. His brows furrowed and his mouth turned grim.

 A vast silence crept on the surroundings. Karl was known to be cold and that made him even harder to give sympathy words even if he wants to. He was about to curse the Emman guy only to find out that he was already dead, and that added more to the problem.

 "W-What happened to him?" Karl started after a long silence.

 Andrew’s eyes wandered back to Karl. He hesitated a bit but he wanted to let his thoughts out. "He... He was killed... He was killed by my best friend, Allen."

 Karl went freeze and stared with wide eyes. He didn't know what to do with what he found out. He tried to grasp the newfound knowledge about Andrew. When he thought the latter was all bright and energetic, behind those smiles was a painful past. 

 "I’m sorry." Karl murmured. Those were the only words he could find out of his one-page sympathy dictionary.

 "That’s fine. You actually remind me of Emman. You smelled like him." Andrew stated with a matter-of-fact voice.

Karl immediately fell silent once more. He doesn’t want to be compared. And even more so, he didn't want to be compared to Andrew's ex. “We are not the same.” he objected.

Andrew chuckled in response, "I know, you just sme-"

 "I’m better than him. I can make you smile genuinely and won’t leave you." Karl interrupted as he lifted his head.

 Andrew furrowed his eyebrow. He could not believe what he just heard. "What are you trying to sa-"

 "I-I like you. I-I like you, Andrew." Karl confesses as he felt his heart drummed on his chest. He started liking Andrew when the two of them got close. They did not start on good terms but they ended up being the closest even if they bicker a lot. He plans on telling this absurd feeling to Andrew once they enter the Inter-high, but for some reason, he thought this might be good a chance. This might come as confessing-when-someone-is-vulnerable to some, but there’s no other way he’ll let this opportunity pass by.

 "Hey. I know I asked you to hug me but you just can’t blurt stupid things like that. And besides, you can’t like me. Even if that’s true…" Andrew responded darting his eyes away from Karl. He then moved away a bit from him. "You can’t. It will be dangerous for you." He added apprehensively.

 "I don’t care!” Karl exclaimed as he leaned forward to reach Andrew’s hand. He held it tightly giving him strong eye contact. “I will still like you. I will not end up like Emman. I will stay forever with you."

 Andrew stared Karl in his eyes. Karl’s eyes were soft as if he could take Andrew’s past away. To be honest, he began to like Karl as well but he doesn’t want to betray Emman’s memories. He loved Emman and still does. And he was afraid that those he cherished will be taken away from him.

 "You can’t..." Andrew replied, squeezing his eyes shut.

 "I can. Believe me Andrew." Karl said as he leans slowly on Andrew as if waiting if the latter would have pushed him away.

Andrew opened his eyes and looked at Karl’s eyes. His stares sending him a signal that if he moves closer he won’t get away from it already. But Karl was persistent.

Their lips touch together. It was a slight touch at first but Karl realized that he could do more to it. He started moving his lips and to his surprise, Andrew reciprocated.

 "Are you not afraid?" he murmured on Karl’s lips.

 "Do you think I am?" Karl asked him back.

 "You’re stupid." He then kissed Karl back but more passionate this time.