CHAPTER 4

“Is Andrew here already?” Karl asked as he peered at the clubroom door. His teammates were busy changing their clothes for the practice.

“Did he not tell you?” Sam responded while tilting his head. He was changing his t-shirt in front of his locker.

Karl shook his head, looking bewildered. Did Andrew go somewhere without informing him? A sound of a grating laugh and an arm on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts. “That’s a bad omen right there.” Karl turned his head to glance at the man who’s about to annoy him. “When a person goes somewhere without telling you, that means there’s someone- “his next word was turned to a yelp when a ball smacked on his face.

“Instead of blabbering there, Troy, why don’t you change your clothes before I could throw something else on you!” Dale exclaimed, who was also changing his clothes next to Sam.

Dale is the captain of the Silver Valley University Volleyball Team. He has short, dark hair and dark brown eyes. He is not tall among volleyball players, but he possesses a large built. He has a reassuring appearance that gives off the aura of a captain. He is seen with a gentle smile on his face, but when he gets angry, his eyes glaze over intimidatingly. He is a very caring, responsible, patient, and understanding captain, but becomes terrifying when angry. He becomes very strict when his teammates are out of line.

Nelson laughed biliously at the sight as he threw his head. “For a non-experienced person, you certainly have a bunch of things to say, Troy,” He mocked.

Troy, who just got smacked on the face, gazed devilishly at Nelson with a sullen smile forming on his face. “Come here dumbass,” He ordered as he reached for Nelson but the latter at once run for his life, darting towards Herbert who was about to wear his pants.

“HELP ME HERBERT! HE’S GONNA KILL ME!” Nelson pleaded, as he hid behind Herbert’s large physique.

Herbert is the second tallest member of their team. He has long hair which is styled as a bun behind his head and dark brown eyes matching his hair and his eyebrows. He also has a growing short scruff on his chin. His overall appearance makes him look way beyond his age, yet slightly unapproachable. In contrast to his appearance, he is rather gentle.

Herbert laughed innocently as he tried to cover Nelson behind his back. His legs were trotting from left to right. Troy, who’s been trying to reach Nelson, who kept on moving along behind Herbert’s enormous frame, was cursing the hell out of his best friend. “Come here stupid idiot dumbass.”

“CAN YOU GUYS SHUT THE HELL UP?!” Dale shouted with a frowned face.

Sam shook his head, sighing. He doesn’t want them to corrupt Karl’s mind with unnecessary thoughts. He pulled Karl out of the club room to avoid the noise and a possible interruption from the duo.

“Andrew informed us last night that he cannot attend today’s practice because he needs to go somewhere. It sounds important, so Dale did not bother to stop him,” Sam explained as soon as they got out of the club room. They were standing far enough so the ongoing noise could not bother them.

Karl furrowed his eyebrows as he listens to Sam. That was unlikely for Andrew to not inform him about this kind of matter. He certainly did not inform him of his plan for today and besides that, Andrew had informed their teammates but not him and that fact annoyed him the most.

“You know Andrew doesn’t skip practice unless it’s really necessary, right? Maybe he informed you, but you just forget about it,” Sam added as he eyed Karl. He already knew what has been running on Karl’s mind just by looking at the latter’s expression.

“I don’t remember,” Karl responded as he shook his head.

“Hmmm... Just ask him when he returns. I’m sure it’s not something as troubling as what Troy has been thinking. You know he’s just making fun of you, right?” Sam assured as he nudged Karl’s back. “Don’t worry too much.”

Karl nodded as he fished his phone out of his pocket. He checked on it once again to see if Andrew had notified him, but the last conversation they had come from him.

******

His feet are getting heavier. The more he walks, the more he hates it. The surrounding smells like fresh grass. The place is awfully quiet that the only sound coming from the chirp of the birds made Andrew irritated.

After a short yet feels like too long of a stroll for Andrew, he stopped in front of a black tomb with a vase of beautiful green fresh flowers on each side; hinting that there were visitors before him.

Andrew slowly knelt on his knees, placing the white flowers he’s been tightly holding at the front of the tomb. He then paused for a minute as he knitted his eyebrows. He has been collecting all the words in his mind for this day.

“Are you happy?” he asked on the tomb with a sour expression.

He focused on the name written on it, as if doing so would make him receive a response. The wind waves through the tree branches and the sound it made resonated in Andrew’s ears. A smile then formed on his face as if he heard a silent response.

“Bet you are, huh?” he went on mockingly. “Do you know what day it is today? Today is your death anniversary,” He continued as he stared at the tomb with blank amazement on his face. The thought still astounds him awfully.

“Today is the day to celebrate your freedom,” Andrew jeered. If freedom sounds like a positive word in the dictionary, to Andrew’s definition, freedom is just a selfish act.

“Look what I’m wearing for this occasion. I’m wearing a suit.” He then tugs on the hem of the suit he’s wearing. “What do you think? Does it suit me?” He asked musingly. He couldn’t help but laugh at his question. He crowed on his knees as he felt his resentment.

“I felt sorry for you,” He murmurs as he snickered. “But I can’t be happy for you,” He then wipes the tears that were about to fall from his eyes. His last sentence disrupted him from laughing as he gazed at the tomb. He set his eyes on the tomb with scrutiny, as if staring at it could bring back the body underneath it to life. As he gazes at it, tears escaped from his eyes.

“I hate you…” he continued “I hate you as much as I hate dad. If you didn’t leave us… If you didn’t take away your own life… I could have been happy. You probably guided me. I never have probably…” his cracked voice was turned to a dismissive laugh, filling the discreet surrounding with his contempt.

“Why am I even ranting to you? Will this even change anything?” Andrew added as he slowly stood up from his knees. “If you truly cared about me and Andrea, you wouldn’t have hanged yourself, right?” he then brushes off the dirt from his pants. “But you chose freedom from Dad. And for that, I hate you. I loathed you.”

At one last glance and a frowned on his face, he said his parting words. “If you are truly a mom yourself, you should have felt terrible instead of having a peaceful rest right now. You could have done something you know, but you can’t… I’m leaving.”

He then plodded away from his mother’s tomb with contempt in his footsteps.

*****

Karl has been glancing repeatedly on the wall clock ever since he came back to Andrew’s condo unit. He bit his lower lip as he paced back and forth. Andrew had not once contacted him ever since the last message Karl had sent him this morning. It was still unseen in their chat box. He also tried calling him, but it was out of reach. He didn’t even have the slightest idea where Andrew had gone to, and it made him anxious even more.

He sat on the couch and eyed his phone. He was about to dial Andrew’s number for the 40th time when he heard a beeping sound coming from the front door, a sign that someone was opening it. He quickly stood up, trotting towards the door and from there, he saw Andrew entering.

“Andrew!” Karl called.

“Karl,” Andrew responded with an amiable smile. He knew Karl will wait for him and he knew the latter will demand an explanation.

Karl immediately wrapped his arms around Andrew. “Where have you been? I’ve been contacting you the whole day but I couldn’t reach you. You made me worry,” He said with a brittle voice.

Andrew hugged him back in response. “Sorry… I’ll tell you about it some other time.”

“Why can’t you tell me now?” Karl asked as he faces him. Andrew seems to keep a lot of things from him and it’s been bothering him for quite some time now.

“I promise. I’ll tell you about it next time. Hmm?” Andrew responded as he reached for Karl’s cheeks. He pressed his hands on them as he stared at Karl with an assuring expression.

But Andrew has been worrying him the whole day and for that, he may demand an explanation. He doesn’t need a full-blown story from Andrew, but just a brief statement about where he had gone to or what he did would suffice. But all the explanations were thrown some other time, which only the almighty knows when.

Karl let go of him and trudged towards the sofa. He felt frustrated. He’s been Andrew’s boyfriend for almost a year now, but Andrew seems to hide lots of things from him. He doesn’t want to force Andrew to talk, but he thinks it’s too much already. He sat on the couch with a frowned face. Andrew followed him as well.

“Are you mad?” Andrew asked warily as he stood in front of Karl. He held his cheeks and lifted Karl’s face to face him.

Karl stared at him for a second, then gazed away.

Andrew sighed with restlessness as he eyed Karl, “What do you want me to do for you not to get mad?” he appealed.

But Karl did not give him any response. He was anchoring his eyes stubbornly on the side.

“Alright,” Andrew held Karl’s chin and kissed him. Karl was about to react, but Andrew forced his tongue in between Karl’s lips. The latter couldn’t resist it, as it was the first time for Andrew to start first. The gesture suddenly made Karl’s mind went blank. He let Andrew’s tongue swirl with his. The feeling made Karl want more, but Andrew stopped midway and pulled away from him. “Are you still mad?” Andrew teased.

“I’ll get mad if we didn’t continue this,” Karl responded as he stood up, pulling Andrew’s body on his. “Apologize with your body,” He then pressed his lips with Andrew’s, making the latter smile triumphantly.

*****

Karl stared at Andrew’s sleeping face. The curtain of the windows was parted sideways in their room, and the brightness of the moon made him see Andrew’s face in the dark. His brown hair glowed under the moon’s light. His face was as calm as the night. The muffled yet soft snoring that he makes is pleasant on Karl’s ears. He’s gorgeous in every way possible, he thought, while brushing Andrew’s messy hair. This is his weakness. Even if he had a resolve, he just couldn’t stop falling from Andrew’s antics.

He was thinking of waking him up to eat because they haven’t eaten yet but he doesn’t want to disturb his sleep and besides; he loves seeing him like this. He’s still wondering where he went, but he decided to ask him next time as what Andrew promised to do so. While he was staring and amusing how beautiful Andrew was, he heard his phone notification. He reaches for it and saw a text from an unknown number.

“Stay away from him or you’ll regret it forever.”

A wrong message? He thought. He ignored it because unknown numbers often contacted him. Maybe it was one of those. He placed his phone on the bedside table, then he pulled Andrew closer to him, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

.