Three

PRESENT DAY

My tears keeps falling but I am trying my best to be quiet about it all. It wouldn’t be right if they saw the ice queen brawling her eyes out over a silly rom com. It wasn’t right that I was crying my eyes out over it but it is what happen when something reminds you that you lost the best thing ever that was ever yours, you don’t care for right or wrongs. Sometimes you just sit down and cry your eyes out. 

“You actually stayed until the end. I am so honored.” The Script writer said when she reached the place I was sitting down, a little bit separated from the others. I knew this was going to happen and still I let it happen. 

Why do I enjoy hurting myself?

Maybe because I feel like I haven’t been punished enough for losing him. 

“There is nothing to be honored about.” I fused an annoyed tone into my words, I needed to make people believe that I did not give a care about what the movie I mean what is the use of a bitchy personality if you cannot use it as an amour to protect your feelings. “The time I spent I already regret them.”

“Oh.” I watched as the light in the scriptwriter eyes dimmed, she was very excited about this and me too, apparently she loves my work and although her script was great, since I had already started the process of bashing it, I needed to continue. 

“Yes. The Script was okay, the corniness reminds me why love is stupid and the lines are horrible I wish my ears would bleed out the words but alas they are already in my head.” I stretched my lips into a sarcastic smile. “Tell me, how do you think I enjoyed the movie?”

“You are cruel.” She blurted out. 

When I was told this the first time, I had cried for hours afterwards but now I have gotten used to it. The word has been used to describe me alongside with Ice queen and quite frankly I even grew to smile fondly at the word when it is mentioned. I like her. A for Originality. 

“Go on.” I goad her. “You can do better than that.”

“You are mean, both on screen and off. I thought it was just an act but now I see that you are nothing but your role. Cold, dank, empty and lonely. No wonder Npah left.” She turned on her heels and left without any extra word from me. 

Not like I could talk, she had got me with her words, I was cold and lonely but the Noah comment was a low blow. Nothing gets to me like that, everybody knew it but they have the decency not to use it. I guess making a writer angry is not the way to go. 

I sat there in silence, ignoring everybody, my mind, a million miles away. I was hurt and I knew better than to take her words to heart but I couldn’t stop myself for doing it. I do deserve me.

Still in the process of beating myself up, someone shook me, I looked up with a ready fixed glare on my face but when I saw it was Josh, my glare faded. 

“I told you, I would come out myself.” I told him but he shook his head. 

“The last person had left a while ago, everybody is waiting for you Tiffany.” 

“Oh,” Was all I could respond with. I stood up with his help and held on to his arm as I fixed my signature glare on my face and we walked out together. I ignored the paps as I walked to my limo as if tears where not hanging on my lashes and if behind my shades, I was not hiding red eyes. 

When I got inside the limo, that was when I took off the shades and poured myself a glass of wine. I drank it as if I was drinking water and poured myself a second glass. 

“Wow, easy on the wine Tiff, it is a classic.” Josh chuckled as he poured himself a glass and relax beside me, settling for the ride to my apartment where he would see I got in safely before heading to his own place or whatever Party he wants to crash. 

“Josh.” I called him and when he looked at me, I turned my face to him. “I really don’t care.”

“Your eyes are red.” He noted as I raised my glass as if it was a toast not an observation. 

“Thank you Mr. Obvious.” 

“Other than the movie, what happened.” He asked. 

Knowing he would hound me until I gave him a play by play account of the event, I decided to spare us both the time and answer truthfully. “Someone might have mentioned Noah’s break up with me, normally I would be able to control my reaction but seeing that I was a bit vulnerable then cause I had just finished watching the movie that depicts my mistake so hearing it, just made me go back in time and that is something which I don’t like doing.” I gave him a wry smile. “Satisfied?” 

“By the account yes, by you being hurt no.” Josh said softly as he tapped my leg in a bit to give me comfort but I jerked my legs from under him and he cleared his throat. I was not a full ice queen with him -I think he is the only one whom I am not that with- but still the iciness is still there.

“It’s okay Josh, I am the Ice queen remember, and nothing should hurt me. I don’t even have the feeling so to say.”  

“But still. He argued but I shook my head as I took another sip and relaxed. 

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, just drop me home and then go do whatever it is you want to do. Talking of this just brings up memories that I would be doing better without.” I sighed as Josh nodded. 

I relaxed back into the chair as my thoughts flew back to Noah. Back to the time when we were us.