Four

Five years ago

I entered the complex where we were staying, Noah was doing his part time job and I was still getting tiny roles, they could pay the rent but we didn’t have enough money for anything else. That was why walking into a candlelit dinner brought tears to my eyes even though I knew it was a splurge. 

“Noah.” I breathed his name with barely concealed excitement. “You shouldn’t have.”

“Why?” he asked as he lit the candles. “Until you forgot that I am a romantic guy, nah. I wouldn’t let that happen on my watch.”

And still he did not come to where I was standing by the door. “I miss You.” I tell him and that was what took his ass to stand up and walked towards him.  Still he did not stop when he was closed to him, he stopped when I had to tilt my head backwards to look at him. 

“I miss us.” Came his simple reply.  

“We might not have much now but we certainly will in the future, You will not be overworked and you will not be stressed too much.” He added as he led me by the hand to the table where he pull out a chair for me. 

I grinned as wide as I sat down and waited for him to slide my chair inside. When I finally looked up at him, he smiled at me. 

“How did I ever get so lucky to call such an angel mine?” He asked as I swallowed. 

It didn’t matter if we have been dating for four days or four months or four years. Noah still had the power to stop and restart my heart when he gets romantic or when he couples it with his disarming smile. 

Something he was doing right now.

“Is there something going on that I should be aware of?” I asked him, yes sure Noah was a romantic guy by nature but this seems like something else. 

“And why would you asked that?” He corked an eyebrow at me. I just shrugged. 

“It seems like something else is going on.” I look at him directly to see that he is smiling. 

“I never seem to be able to keep anything away from you.” He clicked his teeth with his tongue at my words. 

“Good news?” I asked him. 

“Only the best.” He replied. “I found a job, better payment and more stable, still cleaning though.” He said, it was not something we wanted but it was still an improvement. 

“That’s great.” I squealed excited as I went round the table to hug him, of course that meant I ended up in his laps, sharing a kiss. 

 “What were you thinking it was?” Noah asked me, opening his eyes to look at me but I shrugged, what was I thinking? I was thinking that maybe he wanted to break up with me, I knew he was getting ridiculous offers from the rich women house he was cleaning, it could be that one of them offered him something more than just a meaningless fling. “Tiffany.” He drawled and I knew he would not let me do something as get away with it. 

His hand even went tighter around me. 

“I thought that you wanted to break up with me.” I whispered in a small voice. 

“You want to break up?” His voice was rough like he was about to get angry.

“No!” I said with enough force that it seems like he believed it. “I don’t want us to ever break up.” 

He kissed me again. “Me too.”

“So where is this new job?” I asked him as I started to eat his food, he shook his head at me as he picked up his spoon since I was with his fork and we started to each. 

“Nothing spectacular. Just as a stage crew.” He didn’t meet my eyes again, this must kills him, working in a place where he was not able to chase his dreams even if the dreams was staring at him in the face. 

“Noah.” I called softly. 

“I am okay.” He smiled at me. “I am okay as long as I got you and we are together.”

“And we will be forever.” He added. 

Well, I smiled widely as I attacked his face for the second time this evening, he didn’t complain though, he just chuckled. 

When I straightened, I leaned across the table to get my glass of wine before settling back on his legs. “To Us?” I raised the glass for a toast.

“Always to us.” He took his own glass too. We were more than Noah and Tiffany then. We were us. 

Four years ago

“What’s going on?” Noah silent voice came through the dark as I gasp and quickly turned around, when I opened the door of our apartment, the way better one we moved to when Noah came back from tour and then I had my first big break. I wasn’t supposed to be out today but Noah was busy and I couldn’t have stayed at home waiting for him. 

I also couldn’t tell him that I went out to a club while I let guys grabbed at me and I did all that because I could still get away with it, as I am not yet a big actress. 

I have never been more grateful for thinking ahead to grab a jacket. “I just went out for a stroll. What are you doing back here today, I thought the party was all-nighter and you needed to help in building up the band’s image?” I asked advance towards Noah who was looking at me with his eyes spitting fury. 

“What am I doing back here?” he asked. “I am here to check if what the reporter who called me was correct.” I froze on my steps at that. “Apparently, he was going to spin his story on the band as a loser band because the one member who had a girlfriend on the band, the girl was seen at the club letting guys grab at her ass.” I opened my mouth to defend myself but he shouted. 

Noah never raises his voice. 

“Don’t fucking try to deny it Tiff, I saw pictures and you were certainly grinding on a random stranger. Or he wasn’t a stranger, tell me. How many times…” He started. 

I didn’t know when I crossed the room but the loud smack echoed in the sudden quiet room. “I have done nothing but being the perfect girlfriend to you, I looked the other way when I am being laughed out, or when you groupies try to tell me that I am not good enough for you. I look the other way when you are invited to these events that are basically an Orgies and you walk out that door without me by your side. I have not complained but you do not have the right to try and say something like that to me even if it is to my face.”

“You are right, I have no right to say something like that. I am sorry.” Noah apologizes. 

Noah also never apologize for anything. 

“But in the picture I got, I saw Angel. Now I know that can’t be right because I told you to stop hanging out with her months ago.” Noah pause, this time giving me time to try to defend myself but I couldn’t. My words were stuck in my throat.

“Come on Tiffany, Prove me wrong.” Noah stood up and for the first time since forever I backed away from him, he was filled up with Cold anger. 

“Tell me that I am wrong, tell me that you and her where not drinking and sharing dancing together like two whores trying to find a score for that night. Tell me that you have not being hanging around her for months and told me differently, when I called or when you walk out saying you are going to hang out with a friend. Tell me that you didn’t do a hard limit for me, by doing something this silly.” 

I couldn’t say anything, I was officially silent. “Noah, I know you are mad but you have to let me explain.” I begged. 

“Go ahead and try to.” He offered. “I will even pretend like I am wondering if every word is not a lie.” He added and his words felt like a sharp knife cutting through my chest.

Tears clogged my throat. “Noah. Please.” I begged but he shifted away.  

“And your silent attacks so far. You should be happy for my success not trying to diminish it.” He added. 

His words made me feel the wrong way. “I am happy for you, I just don’t like being a side piece or a shiny new object when I am needed to boost your fame. What about mine?” 

“What happened to us, did you forget that everything is for us?” He asked but I just sighed. 

“Well it surely feels like ‘us’ doesn’t exists anymore. I don’t even know why I am still hanging on to something which you have already dropped.” I Muttered. 

Noah flinched, “You feel that way about us. I am doing everything I can to make us last and you are acting like a spoilt brat?” He thundered. 

“A spoilt brat that is tired Noah, Tired of what we are trying to drag out.” 

“I will make it easier for you.” Noah said as he left, slamming the door of our bedroom behind him. I paled and ran a shaking hand down my face, wondering what nightmare is this. 

When he came out with a duffel bag, my legs collapse underneath me. “Noah…” 

“I will come for my things when I don’t feel like you are in danger of me acting like a woman beater.” With those words he left while I broke down. Crying for all I have lost.