chapter 004

Chapter 004 

~Amanda~

Gabriel looked so shocked and speechless when he heard my question and it was silent for a while.

I just wanted to hear from him instead of making assumptions.I knew fucking well that my stepfather was a wolf.All I wanted at the moment was to know if Gab was a wolf too or whether he was a bloody wolf as well or adopted…

His silence spoke a lot and I could feel my heart thumping wildly against my ribcage.

Silently inside my heart,I hoped that it wasn't what I thought.

He nodded hesitantly,”Yes,I'm a wolf too.”My eyes popped out.

“No!No!This can't be,”I shook my head in denial because I didn't want to believe the fucking truth even though he had told me himself that he was a goddamn wolf.

“Why?”I asked through gritted teeth,”Why did you lie to me all this time, Gabriel?”My voice raised with each word that escaped my lips.

I felt deceived.I couldn't believe that I have been living a lie…

“Why didn't you tell me that you're a goddamn wolf?Why did you hide the truth from me? Why?”I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration and more tears streamed down my cheeks.

Tears of anger.

“You betrayed me once again, Gabriel!I  spent three damn years with you but never did you think of telling me the truth?We laughed, joked,played around and even fucked but you never thought of telling me the bloody truth?”All those memories clouded in my mind,how we used to be happy before shit happened.

How he used to tease me around and so many happy moments that we shared.All of them came rushing in my head.

“How were you able to sleep peacefully every single night knowing that you were lying to my face?”He was silent to my question and looked away in shame.

“How were you able to put on a straight face knowing fucking well that you were deceiving me,Gab?How dare you laugh on my facing knowing damn well that you were making a fool out of me?”I was literally screaming and I didn't care at the moment.

I just needed some answers.

I didn't care if our parents could hear us or not.All I wanted was to get rid of the pain that I was feeling deep down at the moment.

The pain of betrayal…

I felt as though my whole world had flipped and there was nothing I could hold onto to remain sane.I had too much for the day and I think I was going crazy.

When my mother told me that she had fallen in love with a wolf,I was shocked because I never thought that those creatures existed.

I didn't have any idea that I had ever met a one of them.Not just to meet,we even went far and fucked…

Gabriel stepped forward but I moved a step back,”Just stay right there!”I said in a cold voice and he obeyed and nodded.

“Please listen to me,Amanda!Give me a chance to explain just this once.”He raised his hands in the air and his voice was low as though he was coaxing me.

He really hadn't changed even a little bit.I remembered how he used to talk to me in a gentle way and I would blush like a fool.

He was fucking good at that and yes!just like a fool I fell for it each time he did it.I would giggled and feel like I was floating in the sky.I used to feel like the world was ours and it was just the two of us.

You can call me a fool, naive and all sorts of names because indeed I was.I was blind,Too blind to see the truth.

The thought of it made me feel so disgusted with myself.

How did I turn out to be a fool for him?

“You had all the time in the world to explain to me, Gabriel.”I paused and heaved a deep breath,”But what did you do instead?”I tilted my head to the side as though I was trying to figure out something.

“You fucked up all those chances!”My jaw twitched in anger.

“I swear I wanted to tell you the truth so many times, Amanda.But…”He heaved heaved a deep breath.

“I was afraid that you wouldn't have accepted to be with me if I told you that I was a wolf.I was scared that you would leave me if you knew the truth because humans think that wolves are dangerous.”He waved his hands in the air as he tried to explain.

The corner of my lips curved into a bitter smile,”So you decided to hide it from me?I deserved to know the fucking truth despite your fears!I deserved to know that I was fucking around with a bloody wolf!You only took your fears into consideration, Gabriel.”I paused to catch a breath.

“But what about me?”My voice was low and I creased my eyebrows, pointing my index finger on my chest.”Did you even care about my feelings?Did you care how I would feel when I find out the fucking truth on my own?”I raised my brow and my lips curved into a bitter smile.

“How heartless could you be,Gabriel?”He was quiet for a while.

“I swear I was planning to tell you everything about me when we are done with campus,Amanda.”I just looked at him as he tried to justify his reasons.

“I know it was wrong to hide the truth from you.However,it was never my intention to hurt you believe me.It's just that…I needed some time to think how I was going to explain to you everything.”He continued with his explanation.

“Do you remember when I asked you if you would ever leave me when you found out that I was not fully human?It was a joke but I really meant it, Amanda.I tried to tell you the truth through jokes.It’s just that,I didn't know a better way to tell you without scaring you.I let my fears get the better of me and yes,I regret that I never told you directly. ”He looked me in the eyes, hoping that I would remember those memories that I had long buried at the back of my mind.

Of course I recalled how he used to joke around about the whole thing.I used to think that it was some kind of joke but it turns out to be real.He is not fully human!

Even I had found out the truth,I just couldn't wrap my head around it.I think I needed some time for it to sink in my head.

I wish I could have taken those jokes seriously.I couldn't have made some mistakes that could be avoided.Innocent souls are involved in this mess and I didn't know how to go about the whole thing.

I felt so lost…

“Your explanation doesn't make up for the fact that you never told me the truth, Gabriel.It hurts so much to find the fucking truth on my own.”I wiped tears from my eyes using the back of my hands.

“What if we couldn't see each other ever again?”My brow arched as I demanded some answers to my endless questions.

“It means that I would never have known that you're a wolf!It hurts fucking bad to know that you lied to me all those years.You have done nothing but cause me  pain.''I paused and heaved a deep breath.

“Did you ever love me,Gabriel?”I couldn't help it but ask him the weirdest question.

I know it wasn't the right time to ask him that kind of question because he was going to get married soon but…I just wanted to know the fucking truth.I just wanted to know if he ever loved me…