Chapter 005

~Amanda~

Gabriel tried to move close to me but I shook my head and stepped back,”Just don't!''I said in a warning.

“I don't want you to move any closer to me!All I need to hear is the truth!”I said in a final voice and he respected my words, raising his hands in the air in surrender.

“The truth is that I loved you, Amanda.So much!''He said and my lips curved into a bitter smile.Even though I was laughing,tears kept on flowing down my cheeks.

“You wouldn't do everything that you have done to me if you really loved me, Gabriel.”I said with fisted hands

“I know that everything that has happened between us is enough to make you doubt me but the truth is that I loved you so much, Amanda.”He said in almost a whisper and every word that slipped his tongue was full of emotions.

“I still remember your birthday Amanda.It's 14 march.I still remember that you loved Lily flowers more than roses.I still remember your favourite colour is red.I still remember your favourite food is…''He kept on going and everything that he said was correct.

I couldn't believe that he still remembered all those little things.It has been five fucking years!I was expecting him to have forgotten everything about and all memories that we shared.

I almost believed him but then, I remembered everything that he has done to me and I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Who knows? Maybe that is his scheme to trap me again and there is no way I was going to allow it.

I shook my head in denial,wiping tears from my cheeks using the back of my hands.

“I know those lines , Gabriel.”I said and his face fell off.

“You know what?”I paused to catch my breath,”Just leave!”I said in a final voice.

“Amanda...”He said but I shook my head vigorously.He moved towards me and held my hands.

”Leave me alone!”I shouted,”I hate you, Gabriel!I hate you!I hate that I loved you!”I hit his chest and he let me do it.

He allowed me to let out all the pain that has been bottling up inside me for the past five years.

No one could ever imagine that I have been laughing, joking and playing around but deep down I was hurting.

“I'm sorry.”That's all that he said all the time. I hit his masculine chest until my hands felt sore.He did dare to stop me…

“Mommy?”I heard Ariana's voice behind me and more tears poured.I tried to wipe off tears so that I could turn and look at her.

However,it seemed like the more I wiped the more it flowed.Gab looked at me worriedly then looked at Ariana.

My daughter looked at me in confusion when she realised that I was crying.

“Why are you crying mommy?”She asked with creased eyebrows,”Did you hurt my mommy?”She asked Gab and he was rendered speechless.

I thought that I could hide my tears but…it's too bad my daughter had to see me in such a vulnerable state.

Whenever I felt overwhelmed with emotions and wanted to let it out.I would lock myself in the bathroom,turn on the shower and cry my eyes out as the water washed away the tears, then take a bath and I would feel fresh and energetic once again.

I have always been strong for us since she was a toddler.She knows that her mother is a fighter!I always tell her that I'm her superhero.That I would never allow anything or anyone to hurt her but here I was, crying helplessly.

I looked at Gab with dagger eyes and he read in between the lines and left hesitantly.Even though we have not seen each other for a while,he knew what I meant with every gesture and facial expressions.

He recalled all of them…

Why didn't he leave earlier?I wouldn't have shouted like an insane person and woken up my Aria.

My daughter walked to me and wrapped her little hands around me.I closed my eyes for a second, pressing my lips into a thin line and more tears flowed.

Her embrace helped me feel better.Again,my Aria came to my rescue just like what happened in the dining room.

“Grandma told me that when someone cries,they need a hug because it will help them feel better.”She said and my lips curved into a smile.

I really needed it!

I crouched and held her tiny hands in mine and she looked at me with innocent eyes and it made me feel more guilty.

“Why are you awake, darling?Did you have another nightmare?”I couldn't help but ask in concern.

“No!”She shook her head immediately,”It's because of the shouting.”She said and I didn't know what to say.

It was never my intention to shout that loud and wake her up from her peaceful sleep.

“Mommy is sorry for waking you up.Will you forgive her?”I made a pappy face and she smiled,then nodded.

“I forgive you, mommy.”She said and I smiled too,”That's my girl.”I joked and she giggled but then her face changed suddenly.

“Is he a bad person?”I froze when I heard her question but then composed myself immediately.

“No,he is not a bad person.”I shook my head instantly.I didn't want Arianna to get involved in our mess.

It had to stay between the two of us.

“Then why did he make you cry?Bad people are the ones that make people cry.”She asked with her little confused face and I couldn't help but smile.

“It’s just that we didn't agree on something.”Ariana nodded doubtfully.

“He's a good person,wait you will see it.”I brushed hair strands from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

Talking to my daughter brought me some sort of relief and we went back to her room.

I wasn't planning to leave her room tonight.I wanted to spend the night with Ariana, holding her in my arms.

She fell asleep immediately when we got back to bed.However, sleep was miles away from me as my mind kept on wandering around.

I watched my daughter in my arms as she slept soundly,her chest rising and falling as she breathed evenly.

I pressed my lips on her little forehead,”Mommy is so sorry.”I whispered so that I wouldn't wake her up.I pulled her in my arms as though she was not close enough.

She hummed absently.I just felt the need to say “sorry” to my daughter.However,I don't know if it was enough…