I know....

Okay, I know, I was supposed to write the final chapters, but then I suddenly thought about the twin brothers. and I started coming up with another idea and I had to write two more chapters....

So. Now you can choose lol.

Either Kiana or Kai.

This story would be called Hunting my rogue or something along those lines.

It starts a bit sad and is about second chance mates.

chapter 1:

Liraz’s pov

“You need to run, Lee.”

“No, Mom… You’re strong. You can do this! Just fight it.” I tried. I didn’t want to go. She had held it back for so long.

Mom shook her head as tears ran down her face. Her hands had begun to turn into claws, and fur began to appear on her skin. “No, sweetie. It’s time. Go, please.”

“But, -“

“Liraz!” Mom growled. “You listen to your mother for one damn time!”

I bared my neck in submission, feeling the power of her growl. “I’m sorry, Mom, I’m just…”

“Don’t apologize, Lee. Just run!” Mom said. I could hear the pain in her voice as she was trying to hold her wolf back.

"Maybe,-"

"GO!" It was like her words took away any doubt I had. It almost felt like her words were forcing me to move.

“I love you, mom!” I quickly grabbed my backpack from the ground.

“I love you more than life itself, my baby girl.” Mom cried out as she fell to the ground.

I started to run, but I couldn’t help myself from looking back.

Mom was lying on the ground in pain, doing everything she could to hold back the transformation. But she was starting to look more wolf than human.

I ran like Mom told me to, not in a straight line but zigzagging to spread my scent. I ran towards the sound of the river, remembering how she taught me to hide my scent in the water.

I hoped part of Mom would still be there. I prayed to the Moon Goddess that if I ever crossed paths with Mom again she would still recognize me as his and spare me.

But from what I had seen living here in the woods our whole life, I knew there was a slim chance of ever seeing my mom again. This was goodbye.

The wind on my face blew my tears away, as I wished I had said more. I wished I had told her how much I appreciated her sacrifice and how I would always remember everything she taught me.

But it was too late for any of that.

I thought we’d have more time. I thought I would have had my eighteenth before she turned, but I knew Mom had held out as long as she could.

“Don’t go to a pack, stay away from all humans, and most importantly, if you smell a rogue, run!” Mom’s words repeated in my mind.

In essence, it meant avoiding everyone and everything.

I was running out of breath, but I knew I couldn’t stop until I found a safe place to spend the night. Mom and I had discussed finding hideouts for me, but she was scared she might remember every place once she turned rabid.

But she had taught me everything I needed to know about living on my own. She taught me how to climb trees to avoid people and animals, dig for shallow hiding spaces, and search for empty caves. I knew how to hunt, how to forage, and how to catch fish. She taught me how to make fires and to pay attention to the wind.

Days turned into weeks, and I was doing everything to keep myself safe and fed. I washed myself in the river daily to make sure my scent didn’t linger anywhere. I put out the fire at night to make sure nobody would spot me, and I buried every trace of my camp before leaving.

There was one thing she hadn’t been able to prepare me for, and that was how lonely I would feel.

At least before I had my mom to talk to, but now it was just me and my thoughts. And my thoughts were becoming darker and darker every day.

I had nightmares about a group of rogues finding me and tearing me to pieces. About hunters cutting me up and examining me for months and nightmares about my mom finding me and me begging her to not kill me. Every time I died in my dreams, I woke up drenched in sweat, feeling like my heart was going to explode.

Deep down I knew that once I turned eighteen, my fight against my wolf would start, just like my mom’s fight.

Werewolves on their own don’t last long. Especially not rogue wolves. We’re wired to need a pack, and if we’re thrown out of our pack, it’s like a rejection.

It breaks the bond between pack and person, causing them to slowly become more beast than human.

Living amongst humans sometimes helps. People become a lone wolf, rarely shifting.

But Mom was too scared of humans to live amongst them because she was taken by hunters before I was born.

Others live in the wild on their own or in a group. It’s easier to let their wolves lead in the wild. Sleeping in their wolf’s form is warmer than in their human shape. Hunting is easier as a wolf, and so is defending yourself from everything that is out here.

But the more you let your wolf lead, the more you lose your human side.

When pack wolves think of a rogue, they think of the rabid rogue. The smelly, deadly wolf who has lost all humanity and wants to kill everything he sees.

They don’t see those who aren’t there yet. The rogues who are just trying to survive, to keep themselves sane for as long as possible.

My mom did it for almost twenty years by suppressing her wolf for as long as possible. She sacrificed that sacred relationship with her wolf so she could have more time with me. By pushing her wolf to the back of her mind, she made sure not to turn rabid.

I looked up to the moon. Would this be my life too? Only without a child.

As much as I loved what my mom did for me, I knew how much it hurt to lose her. I couldn’t do that to another child. Besides, you need to meet someone to have a baby, and there are too many dangerous people out there.

Mom didn’t really tell me much about my biological father, other than that after she was taken by hunters and freed by someone called Luna Atalanta, she stayed in a pack for a while. She was deeply traumatized and, in her word, “did whatever made her stop remembering for a while.” Including sleeping around with several men.

I couldn’t really judge her; I had seen Mom’s scars and heard her nightmares at night. Those hunters had tortured her in ways I hoped to never understand.

When the sun came up, I realized I hadn’t slept. All I had been doing was thinking of Mom, crying, and feeling sorry for myself.

The last time I had spoken was when I had run away from my mother. Would I ever use my voice again?

When I smelled another person’s scent, a werewolf, I didn’t think. Instead I followed it. I wasn’t going to talk to the person, but just being near them, just seeing them… maybe it would be enough to not make me feel so alone.

I stayed out of the wind, staying a safe distance until I didn’t just smell the person but also several other scents.

Oh, no. Shit! What had I gotten myself into?

I climbed a tree, hoping they wouldn’t notice me if I'm high enough. My scent isn’t that strong yet, since my wolf won’t be here for a few weeks.

No, not a few weeks. I did the math in my head; it was only eight days until my birthday if I’m right.

I kept climbing, briefly stopping to not make any sound when I heard a guy scream.

“Just let me go! I don’t want any trouble.” A guy yelled out.

Around him I heard growling.

I couldn’t do anything to help even if I wanted to. I don’t have my wolf; I am just one person. And I heard at least three wolves growling.

Soon I heard a fourth growl. The guy had shifted and began to fight back.

I climbed higher, finding a big branch to sit on. I could see through the leaves three rogues attacking a wolf.

Mom had always said, “don’t be a hero.” But to watch an unfair fight like this and not do a thing felt so wrong.

It was like everything inside me told me to help, but the only thing that stopped me was my mom's voice telling me there was no point. She had sacrificed so much for me, and if I died now, it would all be for nothing.

Soon the guy couldn’t stay in his wolf form; he was too weak, too injured. There was so much blood, and while I wanted to look away, I couldn’t.

I don’t know how he knew I was there, but his eyes found mine. While they were slicing him open, biting into his stomach, his eyes stayed on mine. He wasn’t even screaming anymore.

In them, there wasn’t a plea for help, but some form of recognition. He watched me until the light left his eyes.

Even after the man had died, the rogues continued to eat from him, tearing his body apart until there was something left that didn’t even look like a human anymore.

I had made myself watch it all as a reminder why not to seek out people anymore. Feeling lonely sucks, but it was better than dying. Anything was better compared to what I had just witnessed.

When the rogues were far enough away, I climbed down and walked to the body.

I may not have been able to help him, but maybe I could bury him.

I started digging into the soft soil with my hands, digging for hours until my hands were sore and torn from the roots in the ground. The pain didn't bother me; it was a nice distraction.

The scent from the rogues was gone now, and all I could smell was the stranger's scent and the scent of blood. He smelled like elderflower. Mom used to make lemonade and jelly from the flowers.

I carried his body into the ground, knowing it would force me to bathe in the cold river for a long time to get rid of the scent.

After finishing, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

Why did I feel like I just lost something important?

I shook my head, trying to keep myself focused. It didn't matter; I needed to move and find a place to spend the night.

.....

and chapter 2:

Kai’s pov

‘You okay?’ Ezra mindlinked me.

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m just.. It’s a lot.’ I replied. I had never lied to my brother before. But this wouldn’t be my only lie. If I were to keep my promise, I would have to lie to my twin brother for the rest of our lives.

Next to him stood Felicity, who could barely look at me. She held Ezra’s hand so tightly that his fingers were turning slightly red.

Ezra chuckled out loud and looked at his mate, “did I ever tell you this, F*e?”

She smiled up at him, her eyes filled with love. “Tell me what?”

“Kai and I had a little um, what do you call it,” he said winking at me, “friendly competition, I guess you could say.”

No, please don’t tell her that story.

Not now.

Not after everything.

“She doesn’t need to know, -“ I tried, but Ezra kept going. “This was before we reconnected at Ardale, we were still pups, so don’t get mad. It was all in good fun.”

Felicity giggled, “I promise I won’t.”

“Well, Kai and I both saw you and we kind of fought over you?” Ezra admitted.

“Fought for me?” Felicity asked.

“Whoever won the fight could have you.” Ezra said and Felicity playfully slapped him, “have me?!”

Ezra kissed his mate, “we were like ten, but we both saw you at that party, remember? You were wearing a pink dress.”

“Purple,” Felicity and I both said at the same time.

“Oh, yeah, purple.” Ezra replied, while Felicity nervously bit her lip. Ezra didn’t seem to notice. He’s tends to miss the smaller details. Always has.

“But,” Extra continued, “I won! When we saw you again at Ardale, I reminded Kai of our fight. We both thought you were so fucking pretty, didn’t we?”

I nodded, “yeah.”

“It’s a good thing too, could you imagine? If Kai had won the fight, he would have been the one dating you. It would have been so awkward when we found out we were mates while you two were a thing.”

“Yeah, so fucking awkward.” I replied with a tight smile.

‘You really sure you’re okay? You’re normally not this quiet.’ Ezra tried again.

‘I just didn’t think you’d find your mate this fast, that’s all. I thought we’d have more time at Ardale together.’  He would be moving out of our room now and into a shared room with Felicity. Or they’d head back home and continue their studies there.

Ezra smirked at me, ‘you should be happy. No more putting a sock on the door, you get the whole room to yourself now. Or are you jealous?’

‘Jealous?’ Jealous of him? How did he know?

‘Yeah, jealous I found my mate first. You’ll be next, I’m sure of it.’

“Can we go back to our room?” Felicity asked with a coy smile.

Ezra growled lowly, “how can I say no to you.” He turned to face me, “see you later, Kai.”

“See you later.” Felicity locked eyes with me for a brief moment and I wondered if she felt guilty. Was she in as much pain as I was?

Would it ever feel okay to be in the same room again or would I always feel this agonizing feeling in my heart?

As they walked away I tried to hold it all together. He could not see me break.

But when they walked around the corner I grabbed the wall to hold me up, feeling my legs crumble below me.

Abba had told us what rejection felt like. He wanted us all not to take it likely, like he had.

I would never be able to tell him that I was going through such pain right now. That I knew exactly what he had been talking about.

Mom had taken Abba back and from that moment on it was the three of them. Dad, Abba and Mom, running the pack together as Alpha, advisor and Luna.

Mom and her two mates.

For us it was normal. We have three parent. Abba is not biologically my father, but he doesn’t love me any less as the pups that are biologically his. The same goes for Dad, who treats my younger sister Kiana as a little princess, despite her looking exactly like Abba.

Abba is Indian for dad, because one of my fathers is Indian and the other is well, white. I’m not sure exactly where dad’s people come from originally. Probably some Scandinavian country, because dad looks like a fucking Viking with his beard.

Ezra is two minutes older than me, so the title is his if he wants to. But from a young age dad has always stated that if we wanted to share the responsibilities of running this pack together we could.

Ezra and I have always done everything together. As identical twins we have a different bond than the rest of our siblings.

We used to look exactly alike, but when puberty started Ezra began shaving and well, I didn’t. I started getting tattoos and he stopped after the first one.

I stared at my wrist where my crescent moon tattoo was surrounded by the rest of my sleeve. We had both gotten the crescent moon to honor our pack.

We were sixteen and had gotten it done in a human tattoo parlor. Since we looked older than our age, they didn’t question it.

Mom and Abba were so mad and Dad thought it was awesome.

I held onto the wall as I dragged myself back to the room.

Would it always feel like this? Abba said the first two weeks were the worst.

How could I hide this from Ezra and the rest of the students?

As soon as I entered my room I fell down to the floor. I crawled towards the bed, but gave up halfway through.

When I closed my eyes, I saw her.

“I, Felicity Sherman reject you Kai Vince Verma Sheperd as my mate.”

I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. “Maybe it could work? It did for my parents. Please, Felicity, you can’t do this.”

She stared back at me, with a look of certainty as she wiped away tears of her own. “I love Ezra, Kai. And you know he doesn’t want to share his mate. He’s always said so.”

“Please,” I begged as I fell to my knees. “I love you, Felicity.”

“I love you too, Kai, but not like that. Not like how I love your brother. We need to do this for him. You know it’s the truth. Accept the rejection, Kai.” She walked over to me, but took a step back once my scent hit her.

This wasn’t easy for her either.

Over the years Ezra and I had spoken about our mates, especially when our eighteen birthday neared. And one thing Ezra had made clear time and time again, is that he could never share his mate like our parents do.

“You know they say because we’re twins we’re probably going to have the same mate, right? As if mom, dad and Abba aren’t some anomaly. They were mated for a reason, because mom needed both of them to get her wolf.” Ezra had said one time.

“I don’t think it will happen again soon. One person having two mates hasn’t happened in decades and now twice in a row?” I had joked. “Besides, I don’t want to see your dick when I’m fucking my mate.”

“Same!” Ezra has shouted. “Look, I love you, Kai. But we’ve shared enough. And although our parents are happy, it’s not as perfect as they think it is. Abba is always left with Dad’s scrabs, because he’s too possessive of mom.”

“She’s his mate.” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“Exactly,” Ezra sighed. “But I think Abba is the only person who is chill enough to let Dad get away with all his bullshit.”

I chuckled, “true.”

“The two of us…No, we could never share a mate. We’re too competitive, too similar.”

….

I stared at my mate. Ezra’s mate.

As usual he was first. First to be born, first to claim her as his at ten years old and first to discover they’re fated.

If I hadn’t offered to drive my sister here with all her stuff, and fucking hell, does she have a lot of stuff, it could have been me who had smelled her sweet scent first. Jasmine..

I stared up at the moon cursing the Goddess for doing this to us.

“I accept your rejection,” I said and the pain became worse by tenfold.

 My wolf Ash went silent, taking most of the pain on, even the pain meant for Felicity and her wolf. He loved her too and he was willing to sacrifice his own strength so she could keep some of hers.

Felicity would be okay, once Ezra marks her she’d receive some of his strength. Their bond would fill the hole the rejection had left.

But me?

I’d always be slightly weaker. She took part of my soul. She broke a piece of me and nothing will fix that.

“You can’t tell Ezra.” Felicity said, as she laid her hand on my shoulder.

Didn’t she realize her touch was like torture to me?

“He’s my brother.” I said, as I looked up at her.

“He’ll hate me for hurting. And he’ll feel such guilt towards you for feeling relieved.” Felicity explained. “If he finds out… I’m not sure what he’ll do.”

I shook my head.

“It’s not for me. It’s for him, Kai.” Felicity tried again. She was right. If Ezra knew what was going on, he would have put a stop to it. It would change everything.

He is so madly in love with Felicity and he was so happy they are fated by the Goddess. He would never allow me to have her as my mate, but he would also never willingly hurt me. He’d feel responsible. He’d feel guilty for every happy moment he had with her.

I would be like a dark cloud hanging over their lives, forever.

“Okay.” I said and she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Goodbye, Kai.” She said as she turned her back to me and walked away.

I wish I could hate her, but it’s impossible. Like Kai, I have loved Felicity for a long time. I had been dating girl after girl, trying my best to forget about her long legs and her green eyes.

Forget about the way her cheeks dimple when she smiles.

Or the way she snorts when she laughs really hard.

How every time someone is in need, Felicity is there to help out.

I held onto my chest, trying to focus on my breathing. I will endure this for my brother. This way at least one of us gets their happy ending.