"What a dick. He wants her, but he's not willing to do anything to secure her safety?" I ranted, still wound up after our exchange with Luca. "I'm sorry. This isn't how tonight was supposed to go," said Stacy, staring out the window. "I have no idea what to do."Just then, a car pulled up behind us. "Wait here," I said, getting out to meet with the other driver."Did you get it?" I asked Steve, an old friend from college. "Anywhere, anytime, anything," said Steve, handing me a box. "Payment as per our discussion?" "Yes Steve, I'll be your sister's wedding photographer. Send me the details," I said, surprised at how quickly Steve had pulled this off, even for him. When I got back to the car, Stacy was still staring out into the abyss. I went to her side of the car, opened the door and held out my hand to her. She put her hand in mine and allowed me to drag her out of her seat. We made our way to the front of the car, each leaning against the hood. "Was that Stoner Steve? Scott I c
When Scott got home two hours later, we all went over and convened at the Cattaneo estate to discuss Luca and Jenny's marriage. "Let's talk terms," said Luca, as a servant came in and set down a tray with four glasses of Scotch on it. "I thought we did that already," said Jenny. "You want to marry a Luciano. I want to find Peter's killer. What else is there to discuss?" "Don Angelo's condition," said Luca, claiming his glass before taking a seat across from Scott, Jenny and I. "I thought he already gave his blessing," I said, but honestly I should have seen this coming. Olive branch, my ass. What was he planning? "Let me guess: it has to do with Stacy," said Scott, who was notably uncomfortable with us being here. He wanted to drop Jenny off and be on our way, but I had to make sure that Luca would go through with this first. "It's a simple request. He wants you to attend the wedding," said Luca, staring pointedly at me. "Fine," I said, agreeing without thinking it through. I
When we got home, I went straight to my study, wanting the reassurance of seeing my dead man's switch. I waited impatiently for my laptop to start up. Once it had, I accessed my cloud and clicked on a folder I had labelled NYU. This folder was supposed to contain seven years worth of Luciano books. My blood ran cold when I found it empty. "Son of a bitch," I said, pulling myself out of the chair. "I'm going out," I said, rushing past Scott in the living room back into the kitchen. "Where?" he asked with a sigh, following me to the front door. "We should talk about what you said."If my whole world wasn't crumbling right before my very eyes, I'd want to move heaven and earth to remove the pained look in his eyes. As it was though, I was freaking out. Seven years worth of going back to Don Angelo so that one day, when I was brave enough, I could leave him behind for good. Seven years of saying goodbye to Scott over and over, praying I'd make it back to him. All of that couldn't just be
We met Jeff at the same diner as last time as per his request. I wasn't happy about this, considering how things ended last time, but the situation had taken a drastic turn and these were desperate times. We had barely sat down when Jeff was out the gate, already on the offensive. "What will it take to get you to leave my son alone?" he asked, suddenly father of the fucking year. "Don't pull that shit. Don't pretend you care who I have in my life when you're not even in it," I said, unable to not be triggered by Jeff, even after promising myself that I'd keep it together for her. I already had Stacy saying I made her feel like we were a mistake going round and round in my head. Her saying those words was my worst fear come to life. Or at least what I thought was my worst fear, until I was once again faced with losing her. Did I spend six months making her feel unwanted? Unhappy? Miserable? The rest of the night wasn't exactly perfect either. I was primed for a meltdown."I care w
All of a sudden, the perceived danger I was in by being with Stacy took a back seat to his career and I became an afterthought. I tried to shrug it off. After all, I didn't come here for Jeff's protection. Certainly not from Stacy. "Just one thing. No matter what happens, protect Scott at all costs. That's what I want," she said, blowing my mind. All this time, I had assumed that this whole thing was just about Jenny. It didn't occur to me that now that the dead man's switch was gone we'd be back to square one and she'd be thinking of me. Worrying about me. "Is that why you came here? For me? Do you even think this is going to work?" I couldn't stop myself from asking. "Of course I'll protect my son. That goes without saying," said Jeff, and I felt triggered again. Where the fuck was his protective nature when he was fucking Melissa mere feet away from me with the door open? How many times did it take before my mom finally believed me about what a piece of shit he was? This man w
It was the night before the wedding and I was sitting on the couch watching TV alone, trying not to lose my shit. Everything hurt. It didn't help that Stacy had spent most of the last three days either with Tessa and Tony or making preparations for Jeff to receive the intel he needed to audit Don Angelo's favorite company. All while I was being babysat, courtesy of Stacy and Jeff. A squad car was parked out front. When I did go out, they followed. She said she was working on something with Tessa and Tony to strengthen her bluff, like that was enough to excuse her absence when she might be walking out of my life tomorrow. It already felt like she was gone. "Hey," she said into my ear, startling me. "I'm home. Want to hang out?" I was so in my own head, I didn't even hear her come through the door. I wanted to lash out, to bring up all the reasons why I didn't fucking want to be near her. After ghosting me for three days, she suddenly thought I was worth her time? It took everything
I had a few minutes to get it together before Stacy walked out of the bedroom in an olive green dress. It was my favorite thing on her. She wore it on our first unofficial date after we got together. I can't believe I'm now separating our dates into official and unofficial. Everything about us being whatever the fuck we were for the last six months was now triggering to me."You look beautiful. You're always beautiful," I said, holding my hand out to her."Thanks," she said, beaming at me as she took my hand in hers.I told her this was only happening if we could ditch the feds by going out through the fire escape and catching a cab, as I didn't feel like being stalked all night. After some reluctance, she agreed.She refused to give up the small show of intimacy of holding my hand, reclaiming it right after we got into the cab and then again when we got to the hotel selected for us
"No, Stacy I'm not—""Can I offer you guys anything else?" the waitress said, showing up out of nowhere like a fucking ghost, her body bent over the table, her arms squeezing her breasts together.Stacy mouthed see and I struggled not to go into stitches. Then she grabbed my hand again and squeezed hard, smiling sweetly up at the waitress while staring daggers at her.Instead of walking away from the crazy chick sitting across from me, as I no doubt would have done if it were anyone else, I indulged her."You have huge jugs," I said to Stacy, looking her directly in the eyes.She squeezed my hand again, indicating that I wasn't done."Your tits look amazing when you're braless," I said, feeling my ears reddening.Subtle, Scott.At least Stacy was pleased, beaming from ea
After crying her eyes out, she got up and headed towards the closet. She returned to me with a gift box. "Happy birthday," she said, and I smiled from ear to ear, taking it from her. As I opened the box and pulled out a brand new camera, she went off about all the research she did to buy it for me. "I know it's not a film camera like you prefer, but it's a similar model to your digital camera back home," she said, waiting for a response as I tinkered with my new toy. This was so fucking sweet. She knew what I wanted before I even did. Holding a camera after all this time was surreal. "It's actually a better model," I told her, comforted by having a small piece of my old life returned to me. I slipped the strap of the camera around my neck and asked, "Will you be my model?" Then I picked her up and laid her down on the pillows. "I'm naked," she said, blushing shyly like I hadn't seen it all. "You have panties on," I said with a smirk as I took her picture. "Actually th
Resigning myself to my fate as an enslaved man, I relented. Not for me, but for her and everything she wasn't saying. While I believed that she wanted me to get back to our old life, I knew she wanted it too. It was all she ever wanted. It broke my heart that some part of her still seemed to believe she didn't deserve it. She didn't talk about us having a full life together, but instead said she was going to take me home. Give me a full life. That didn't really matter though, because any life I had was going to include her. I'd give her everything she was too afraid to hope for. Besides, what choice did I have? The risk of remaining on the run indefinitely was just too great with so many new players on the board. She needed my support and I was going to give it to her. "I wish I could trade places with you, but since I can't, I will let you do what you want. We can fuck as much as you want to if it helps you complete your dead man's switch. I will support you," I said, and she bea
"Daddy said he'd make me kill you," she said in between sniffles as I came round to squat before her and take her hands. "He said you'd be on your knees and he'd put a gun in my hand and make me decide who got to kill you, me or him," she said, rapidly spitting the words out. She started hyperventilating halfway through her speech. Well that wasn't terrifying at all. Was this the shit she thought about while recreating the dead man's switch? "He said if I recreated the dead man's switch, he'd kill you. I'd kill you. Make you kill Scott. Make you kill Scott," she said in between laboured breaths. "Stace, baby, I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that?" I asked, linking our fingers the way I used to at the coffee shop in France. It didn't work this time. She just kept chanting about killing me, which honestly scared the crap out of me. But I promised her everything would be okay, no matter what she said or did. So I took her face into my ha
She sat next to me, quietly listening to my speech, then moved to get up. I gave her my hands to hold so she wouldn't fall. "I want to tell you about the typewriter now," she said, staring down at me. "Just don't be mad, okay?" she said, looking like the innocent girl I met seven years ago as she turned and wandered off on her own. I followed her to her study, a place I hadn't been allowed into since I brought up the typewriter. She pulled out a thick binder and handed it to me, spinning around in her office chair. "It's—" "I know what it is," I said, flipping through the sheets of her dead man's switch. It was probably my turn to share my secret, since it clearly tied into hers, but she wasn't done just yet. "This is why we have so much sex," she said, hiding her blushing cheeks behind her hands, as much a bashful drunk as a honest one. "Go on," I said, sitting down across from her. She folded her hands
It was five minutes before my birthday. After I fucked her a few hours ago, we had a quiet dinner, then somehow wound up back on the kitchen floor. She was drunk off her ass. When she said she wanted to get drunk with me, I understood the implications. Booze was her truth serum. She was finally going to talk to me. No, we were going to talk to each other. "I don't think anyone has ever loved me," she said, slurring her words as she set the wine glass down between us. It took a lot of booze to get her this drunk and I definitely wasn't fucking her again tonight, but it was worth it to have a real conversation with her. I made an effort to not get as drunk as her without her noticing so I could take care of her. I didn't need the booze to tell her my shit anyway. Long before the drinking, I decided I was going to be honest with her. "That's ridiculous. There are married men that are still in love with you. Definitely still Kyle," I said, my tipsy brain taunting me with other men thin
The anger turned into a slow, piercing ache. Her questions weren't that crazy after all. She was there for all the other women. She saw what it meant to be with me. What she didn't know was that I've done exactly what she was accusing me of with so many women. Fucked them to get out of saying the words. It sucked that she was asking anyway, because she did get the words from me. She was the only one. Didn't that mean anything to her? "No baby," I said, my voice softening for her. "I'm going to fuck you because clearly telling you I love you every day isn't enough. For some fucked up reason, you don't believe I will always love you, no matter what dumb shit we go through. It was stupid to stop fucking you. The truth is the pain in your eyes scared me. I freaked out, because I didn't know how to help you, but I swear I'll never turn away from you when you're hurting again."When she started crying in earnest, I rolled off of her and laid down next to her, flat on my back. Listening to
I thought about what she said as I followed her into the house. She wasn't entirely wrong. The secret she was keeping pissed me off, but I figured we were even on that front. It was nothing compared to the pain I saw in her eyes since Rome. I couldn't fix what was happening in her head. I couldn't make it better for her. I couldn't take the pain away and it killed me. I feel so fucking powerless. Tell me baby, what can I do? When I got into the kitchen, she brought me an ice pack and laid it down on my jaw. I watched her do it without protest. This game wasn't fun anymore. Baby, the pain in your eyes is killing me. Let me in. Even if it's not pretty and there's nothing I can do. Even if we both hate it. Please just talk to me. She took my hand, put it on the ice pack and let go, turning her back on me. Just as I was getting up the nerve to tell her she was right, that not knowing how to help her was fucking with me, she spun back around, her eyes still blazing. "Do you stil
Only I couldn't argue with her anymore. Not after being inside her again. Not after snuggling up to her after I came inside her because I knew she needed to be held post fuck. Not knowing we had to talk about how we wound up in bed together this morning when we hadn't fucked since the hotel in Rome. So after ten minutes of holding her, I slipped out of bed and left. I needed time to think things through.I thought about what happened before the sex as I went for a run. I walked in on her watching a Tiktok made by Marlene and Kenny announcing their wedding date and immediately came down on her hard."What the fuck are you doing? You're brilliant, Stace. You know better than to check in on our past lives," I yelled at her."I fucking hate that," she yelled back, raising her voice as she turned enraged eyes on me. "So I check in on people sometimes. That's your best friend and he's going to get married without us. I'm
It's been two weeks since the incident in the hotel suite in Rome. We just got to Prague. We moved every two weeks now. The fixer told Stacy it was just a precaution, like I told him to. He wanted us to be moving constantly, but I knew my brilliant girlfriend was already suspicious and I needed more time to think. The only real leverage that we had were the ledgers. Stacy was in no place to go there though. She still hadn't come back from what happened in Rome. What would recreating even one of those things cost her? And even if she did do it, what then? She clearly didn't trust the feds. How else was I supposed to keep her safe from the fucking mafia? This morning was a welcome distraction from the paranoia and fear. Stacy fucked me. I mean she really went to town on my dick. Her pussy must be magical or something, because she fucking blew my mind every time I stuck my dick into it. My fingers were buried to the hilt in her ass as I fingered it and she rode me reverse cowgirl. I d