"I wanted to kill him, Scott. I wanted to kill my father," she said, turning to face me. "He said I was going to hurt you and I just snapped. I tried to stop. Listening to you remind me of our life together, I tried to stop," she said, frantically crying within seconds. "I hate him so much. I couldn't let anyone hurt you. I—"
"Sssshhhh, it's okay," I said, pulling her into my arms and rubbing her back. "I wanted to kill him too for what he did to you," I admitted, unfazed by her admission. "I get it." "It's not the same. You didn't have the gun in your hands. You didn't actually shoot him," she insisted through sobs. I thought about her shooting her father. Visualized him stumbling backwards. After thinking he was the one that shot her, I was relieved to find her in one piece. Maybe it was fucked up, but I was even proud of her. On some level, I knew she did it for herself as much as to protect me. I had no problem with that. It's the vMy emotions were all over the place. Confusion. Calm. Fear. Mind you, I wasn't afraid of Scott or anyone for that matter. I was afraid for him because he was sharing a house with me. I kept waiting for the panic attack to hit. For my mind to unravel and turn against me, showing me everything I did in those woods on a loop, but it wasn't happening. There were no nightmares. Nothing hindered my cognitive ability. For fuck's sake, I shot four men and two of them were related to me. I shot Don Angelo. Still no reaction. It was like I was on a constant power trip and it scared the shit out of me. This was why I didn't want to share a bed with Scott. When I closed my eyes to sleep, there was no insomnia. I slept like a baby. I didn't want Scott to see what a fucking sociopath I had turned into. There was something else too. I was horny as fuck. I always thought that since sex was a coping mechanism for me, if the anxiety and stress went away my libido would
"All done," said Scott, kissing the bandage he had just put around my arm. I almost said no to having him dress my wound this morning. Tessa, whose turn it was to help me, had an urgent meeting drop into her lap at the last second and I had my exam to get to. There was no time to call anyone else. Even if there was time to call someone else though, I understood what this meant to him, especially after last night. I couldn't just take back what happened. He'd have certain expectations now and frankly so did I. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I risked him finding another erogenous zone and gave him my arm. "How did you know how to do that?" I asked, relieved that my right arm at least was safe to touch without my pussy turning on me. "Don't be too impressed. I did it for my dad a few times in high school after he got shot in the line of duty," he said, not flinching when he brought up his dad for the first time since I met him.
I couldn't ignore him forever. Last night was clear evidence that I didn't want to. He was what I survived nearly dying in those woods for. I wanted him. I just needed to be careful about what came after the talking. Sliding my hand into his while looking out the window, I watched the other cars on the road and took in the fresh air. He stopped talking after that, a comfortable silence settling between us as we squeezed each other's hands, our fingers interlocking. This was the way my day began. I was on cloud nine. The exam was a breeze, even if I had butterflies throughout. I figured since it was okay to leave home without an escort, it was okay to go back without one too. I was so excited to get back home, I left the exam hall early and took a cab home to surprise him. Voices could be heard coming from the kitchen when I entered the cottage. Did I forget to text Tessa, Tony and Marlene about spending the day with Scott?
"When were you going to tell me?" I fumed, spitting out the first thing that popped into my head. I didn't want to pick a fight, but I was picturing his family and Kenny telling him how bad I was for him. The worst part was I agreed. You shouldn't be with me, Scott. "It just happened last night. Your last exam was today. Was I supposed to tell you with my dick down your throat?" he yelled back. He made excellent points. He was painstakingly patient this last week. Tried to talk to me instead of making a move in bed last night. He gave me everything I said I wanted. To boot, he had no control over how other people felt or reacted. So why was I so angry at him and not them? "How did it go?" he asked affectionately, lowering his voice as he halted me in front of my study by grabbing onto my arms. If I didn't catch the quick glimpse at the door of the study, I would have thought nothing of it
"When were you going to tell me?" I fumed, spitting out the first thing that popped into my head. I didn't want to pick a fight, but I was picturing his family and Kenny telling him how bad I was for him. The worst part was I agreed. You shouldn't be with me, Scott. "It just happened last night. Your last exam was today. Was I supposed to tell you with my dick down your throat?" he yelled back. He made excellent points. He was painstakingly patient this last week. Tried to talk to me instead of making a move in bed last night. He gave me everything I said I wanted. To boot, he had no control over how other people felt or reacted. So why was I so angry at him and not them? "How did it go?" he asked affectionately, lowering his voice as he halted me in front of my study by grabbing onto my arms. If I didn't catch the quick glimpse at the door of the study, I would have thought nothing of it
His eyes dropped to the floor. When he raised his head again, his eyes were on fire with rage. I got what I had been pushing for. He was done being patient with me. "I'm not fucking doing this with you again. I'm done begging you to stay," he said, stepping aside. "You want to leave, Stacy? You want to go and be a don? You want everyone else to decide what happens between us except fucking us? Fine. Fucking leave. Better yet, I'll fucking leave," he said, turning his back on me and marching his way back to the kitchen. I slid down against the frame of the door, watching him walk away. I was such a fucking asshole. He did everything right. All I had to do was let him and I couldn't even do that. So what if he looked at the damn photos? He walked away from that and he still wanted me. So what if everyone we loved hated me now? I won them over once. I could do it again. So what if I came for him when he spoke or touched me? How the fuck was that even a p
When he entered the bedroom, I was there standing in front of the bed, waiting for him. He didn't so much as glance at me. "Can we talk?" I ventured when he started hastily pulling open closet doors and drawers. "You wanted me to leave. I think it's best that I do just that," he said, pulling out his suitcase and slamming it onto the bed. Shallow breaths. Racing heartbeat. A bead of sweat running down my back. Did he have me panicking? Fucking nothing for the near dead men's blood on my hands, but he pulled out a suitcase and now I went ballistic? It was fucking bullshit. I watched him go up and down, tossing clothes into the suitcase in a frenzy. Still not so much as a glance at me. Baby, I'm not used to this. I don't know how to do this. I'm losing my shit. I thought for sure you'd come in here and say let's talk and we'd figure it out like we always do. How many times did you come back and beg for me? Could you reall
His beautiful eyes shone with conviction. He was making such an effort to be strong. Baby, I love the way you stick to your guns, but I can't let you this time. Let me see you be weak for me. "Making a point," I said, slapping the second set of cuffs around my other wrist. Then I turned my back on him and walked back to the bed. I knew he was looking now. So I crawled onto the bed, flashing him my naked pussy and ass as the robe crept up my body. "We're not going to fix this by fucking, Stace," he said, but he stopped packing. He came closer, coming to stand at the foot of the bed. "Tell me what you saw when you looked at the photos," I said, turning around to slap one of the cuffs around the bedpost. Eyes still roaming over my body curiously, watching my every moment, trying desperately to stay sharp. On the verge of calling me out on what we both knew I was doing.
That last part was such a her thing to say. Was that really what she thought? It would explain how I apparently caught her off guard. "Please, for the love of God, let me sleep and shower first. There are dark circles under my eyes. And my make up—" What the fuck was she talking about? She was fucking flawless. Perfect in all her imperfections. "Shut up. I won the bet about Kenny and Marlene," I said, laying the phone down on the ground and starting the five minute timer. "So now Scott says shut up. You've said more than enough in the last few hours. Now just listen." She clasped her hands behind her back, swaying back and forth nervously, her eyes dropping to the timer. Words failed me. I had a whole speech and everything. Even if I didn't, I was me. I always knew what to say, except right that second I was tongue tied. "That photo's taunting me," I said, spitting out the thought in my he
By this point, she had me watching her from behind a lens. Flashes of the thousands of times she had me taking her photo went through my mind. Watching her was my favorite thing to do until she started letting me touch her. I loved every last one of them. Studied the thousands of photos frequently, especially this past week, like some junkie trying to get a fix. The sweet ones where she looked like an angel. The dirty ones where she looked like the perfect whore. The goofy ones that I made sure I was a part of. The everyday ones where she had a pencil in her hair while she read or picked something out at the grocery store. Every last photo I took of her and every memory attached to it flooded my brain. "Fucking stunning every time," I said, trying to calm my raging heart as the sun began to rise, the silhouette of her before it. Slightly trembling fingers took several photos, as the excitement of holding a camera surg
"Can't we do this another time? Surises come along every day and it's been such a long night," Stacy moped. Not this sunrise. Not this moment I wanted to give her. It was all she could do to hold onto the tripod towards the end, so I let her get on my back and gave her a piggyback ride the rest of the way up my mountain. "You knew this was coming. I warned you I'd be making you miserable by bringing you out here before the crack of dawn while we were in Fiji. Sacrifices have to be made to please your future husband, Stace," I said, enjoying the feel of her body pressed up against my back. The morning was chilly, contrasting with her body heat. Or was I sweating? Maybe she was right and this just wasn't our moment. It would come once though. The sunrise of our one year anniversary. I had this picture of how it was going to go down in my head and I just wasn't ready to give it up. "On our anniversary? We just spent two ho
"Is the world's greatest commitment phobe still proposing today after this shit storm?" Kenny asked me as I watched Stacy sit across from Jeff to read through her immunity deal. "You just get the champagne ready. Be on standby, Ken. Call in sick. You'll get the call soon," I said, sharing an excited smile with him before I opened the door to Jeff's office to sit down next to Stacy. "You can have your lawyer look it over before you sign. Take your time," said Jeff, waiting patiently on her. "She's her own lawyer. She's like two classes away from being one?" I boasted as I watched her brilliant mind go to work while she read. "Three," she corrected me, eyes still darting over the words on the page. "Besides, we trust you. Don't we, Scott?" That's what she said, but she carried on combing the document. In about two minutes, she'd have tons of questions for him. "Yes, we do," I said to my fath
"I will never let anyone hurt him, Ken. On my life, I will always keep him safe," she professed one more time. "I know you will, Stace. For the record, you were always my favorite best friend," he said, cautiously wrapping his arms around her as he started sobbing. "Same Ken," she said, returning his embrace readily, rubbing his back. Eyes still on me, she stuck her tongue out at me, making me chuckle as I got up to join them. "Un-fucking-believable. What am I, chopped liver?" I said, watching Kenny pull back as I shot him a nasty look. "You're okay. Tolerable. Second best. I keep you around because of her," he said, wiping away his tears with the back of his sleeves. "I can't believe you fucking told her you were proposing. What the fuck is wrong with you? How will you survive marriage?" His stupid remark had us chuckling between the three of us. We all wrapped an arm around the other an
There was that promise of forever she said I couldn't have until I asked her to marry me. It was as good as a yes to my proposal. My heart was doing flip flops in my chest. I knew it was for their benefit, maybe even just because she was nervous about talking to them instead of me, but her words were aimed directly at me. Sweeping me right off my feet. Claiming every bit of me as hers. Allowing me to let go of the tiny part of me that wondered if she really could have killed me in those woods. It wasn't just luck or the words I said to her that made her want to save me. I was happy if I gave her the strength to do what she needed to do, but I firmly believed she would have gotten there anyway. She had been doing it for eight years. From the moment we met, she had been protecting me. Even when she pushed me away. She chose me for eight years. Came back again and again, no matter how many times Don Angelo called her home, to make me fall dee
He pulled out a chair for himself, then one for me, urging me to sit next to him. With a resigned sigh, I sat down two chairs away from Kenny, as close to Stacy as I could. I gave Willow and my mom a pleading look so they would follow suite across the table. Stacy took her seat and folded her hands in front of her. Folding her hands was her tell for when she was nervous. They all looked away uncomfortably. No anger. No malice. Just sadness and fear. It was all I could do to stay seated. Not grab Stacy's hand and storm out. She asked me to let her do this though. All I could do was sit back and watch helplessly. "Marlene, you're right. We should have reached out and talked to you all about what happened. It sucked that she was the only one of you to come by and ask us what happened though. Instead of going off the news and wherever else you got your information from. Still, I'm sorry we didn't reach out either. We were trying to figure things out betwe
"No, you're not leaving," said Marlene, grabbing Kenny's arms and turning him towards Stacy and I. "Your best friends are getting engaged today. You've been brooding about this whole situation for over a week and I'm sick of it. Deal with your shit, Kenny," said Marlene, her arms folded and chin jutted out. Go Marlene. Marriage looked good on her. She surprised me more and more all the time. "Does everyone know I'm proposing today?" I asked, focusing on the wrong thing entirely. It got my nervous, half asleep girlfriend to smile though. I'd take that. "You weren't exactly trying very hard to hide it," said Stacy, momentarily caught up in my eyes. I wished I could have her look like that for the rest of the day. A light blush tainted her cheeks and her smile was enough to bring armies to their knees. The way she looked at me made me feel like we were the only two people alive. As much as I appreciated wha
"Soooo… Do you think there's more?" he asked in his most innocent voice. "I'll kill you if you try and find out today," I said, equally as breathless and sweaty as him. It took me a moment to realize I just threatened him without flinching or apologizing. I forced myself to let it go and enjoy the afterglow of the best sex of my life. The heat and sweat coming off our bodies should have been enough to get me off him, but it wasn't. Despite my threat to get off him, his arms wrapped around me gently. "No promises. I love you," he said, completely at ease as he started stroking my hair. "I expect to be told about all future… Locations and phrases." "I love you too. That's no fun. I'm not doing that," I said, out right refusing his request. "Is that right? We'll see," he said cheekily, kissing my temple. "Let me take you to lunch. I want you to enjoy your first day of freedom."