"Good morning, Stace," said Scott, briefly laying his hand on my shoulder in passing. I reflexively shrugged my shoulder out of his grasp, then cringed. A little too late to run from his touch now. A little too late to pretend I don't love it. "Good morning," I said, the words coming out as a squeak. A pained look flashed in Scott's eyes as he withdrew his hand from me. I wished I could stop myself from acting stupidly around him. I wanted to drown myself in my coffee cup. Things were such a mess. When he held me after we did it yesterday afternoon, I thought we were good. Then nightfall came and it suddenly hit me. We boned. After that, I couldn't look him in the eye, much less let him hold me all night. How naive was I? Of course we weren't good. We did it. Boning seemed like the wrong word for what happened. Did Scott Brady make love to me? I don't know how much sleep he got. We had our backs to each other all night. I barely got any, and yet I felt wide awake. "You okay, Stace?" Kenny asked, looking at me with concern. "You're not coming down with something, are you?" Scott and I looked at each other. Again, I was the first to look away. Dammit. "All good. Thanks Ken," I said, raising my coffee cup to my lips. Flashes of Scott's lips lightly brushing up against mine danced before my eyes and I stopped drinking, setting the mug down with a thump.
View MoreThat last part was such a her thing to say. Was that really what she thought? It would explain how I apparently caught her off guard. "Please, for the love of God, let me sleep and shower first. There are dark circles under my eyes. And my make up—" What the fuck was she talking about? She was fucking flawless. Perfect in all her imperfections. "Shut up. I won the bet about Kenny and Marlene," I said, laying the phone down on the ground and starting the five minute timer. "So now Scott says shut up. You've said more than enough in the last few hours. Now just listen." She clasped her hands behind her back, swaying back and forth nervously, her eyes dropping to the timer. Words failed me. I had a whole speech and everything. Even if I didn't, I was me. I always knew what to say, except right that second I was tongue tied. "That photo's taunting me," I said, spitting out the thought in my he
By this point, she had me watching her from behind a lens. Flashes of the thousands of times she had me taking her photo went through my mind. Watching her was my favorite thing to do until she started letting me touch her. I loved every last one of them. Studied the thousands of photos frequently, especially this past week, like some junkie trying to get a fix. The sweet ones where she looked like an angel. The dirty ones where she looked like the perfect whore. The goofy ones that I made sure I was a part of. The everyday ones where she had a pencil in her hair while she read or picked something out at the grocery store. Every last photo I took of her and every memory attached to it flooded my brain. "Fucking stunning every time," I said, trying to calm my raging heart as the sun began to rise, the silhouette of her before it. Slightly trembling fingers took several photos, as the excitement of holding a camera surg
"Can't we do this another time? Surises come along every day and it's been such a long night," Stacy moped. Not this sunrise. Not this moment I wanted to give her. It was all she could do to hold onto the tripod towards the end, so I let her get on my back and gave her a piggyback ride the rest of the way up my mountain. "You knew this was coming. I warned you I'd be making you miserable by bringing you out here before the crack of dawn while we were in Fiji. Sacrifices have to be made to please your future husband, Stace," I said, enjoying the feel of her body pressed up against my back. The morning was chilly, contrasting with her body heat. Or was I sweating? Maybe she was right and this just wasn't our moment. It would come once though. The sunrise of our one year anniversary. I had this picture of how it was going to go down in my head and I just wasn't ready to give it up. "On our anniversary? We just spent two ho
"Is the world's greatest commitment phobe still proposing today after this shit storm?" Kenny asked me as I watched Stacy sit across from Jeff to read through her immunity deal. "You just get the champagne ready. Be on standby, Ken. Call in sick. You'll get the call soon," I said, sharing an excited smile with him before I opened the door to Jeff's office to sit down next to Stacy. "You can have your lawyer look it over before you sign. Take your time," said Jeff, waiting patiently on her. "She's her own lawyer. She's like two classes away from being one?" I boasted as I watched her brilliant mind go to work while she read. "Three," she corrected me, eyes still darting over the words on the page. "Besides, we trust you. Don't we, Scott?" That's what she said, but she carried on combing the document. In about two minutes, she'd have tons of questions for him. "Yes, we do," I said to my fath
"I will never let anyone hurt him, Ken. On my life, I will always keep him safe," she professed one more time. "I know you will, Stace. For the record, you were always my favorite best friend," he said, cautiously wrapping his arms around her as he started sobbing. "Same Ken," she said, returning his embrace readily, rubbing his back. Eyes still on me, she stuck her tongue out at me, making me chuckle as I got up to join them. "Un-fucking-believable. What am I, chopped liver?" I said, watching Kenny pull back as I shot him a nasty look. "You're okay. Tolerable. Second best. I keep you around because of her," he said, wiping away his tears with the back of his sleeves. "I can't believe you fucking told her you were proposing. What the fuck is wrong with you? How will you survive marriage?" His stupid remark had us chuckling between the three of us. We all wrapped an arm around the other an
There was that promise of forever she said I couldn't have until I asked her to marry me. It was as good as a yes to my proposal. My heart was doing flip flops in my chest. I knew it was for their benefit, maybe even just because she was nervous about talking to them instead of me, but her words were aimed directly at me. Sweeping me right off my feet. Claiming every bit of me as hers. Allowing me to let go of the tiny part of me that wondered if she really could have killed me in those woods. It wasn't just luck or the words I said to her that made her want to save me. I was happy if I gave her the strength to do what she needed to do, but I firmly believed she would have gotten there anyway. She had been doing it for eight years. From the moment we met, she had been protecting me. Even when she pushed me away. She chose me for eight years. Came back again and again, no matter how many times Don Angelo called her home, to make me fall dee
He pulled out a chair for himself, then one for me, urging me to sit next to him. With a resigned sigh, I sat down two chairs away from Kenny, as close to Stacy as I could. I gave Willow and my mom a pleading look so they would follow suite across the table. Stacy took her seat and folded her hands in front of her. Folding her hands was her tell for when she was nervous. They all looked away uncomfortably. No anger. No malice. Just sadness and fear. It was all I could do to stay seated. Not grab Stacy's hand and storm out. She asked me to let her do this though. All I could do was sit back and watch helplessly. "Marlene, you're right. We should have reached out and talked to you all about what happened. It sucked that she was the only one of you to come by and ask us what happened though. Instead of going off the news and wherever else you got your information from. Still, I'm sorry we didn't reach out either. We were trying to figure things out betwe
"No, you're not leaving," said Marlene, grabbing Kenny's arms and turning him towards Stacy and I. "Your best friends are getting engaged today. You've been brooding about this whole situation for over a week and I'm sick of it. Deal with your shit, Kenny," said Marlene, her arms folded and chin jutted out. Go Marlene. Marriage looked good on her. She surprised me more and more all the time. "Does everyone know I'm proposing today?" I asked, focusing on the wrong thing entirely. It got my nervous, half asleep girlfriend to smile though. I'd take that. "You weren't exactly trying very hard to hide it," said Stacy, momentarily caught up in my eyes. I wished I could have her look like that for the rest of the day. A light blush tainted her cheeks and her smile was enough to bring armies to their knees. The way she looked at me made me feel like we were the only two people alive. As much as I appreciated wha
"Soooo… Do you think there's more?" he asked in his most innocent voice. "I'll kill you if you try and find out today," I said, equally as breathless and sweaty as him. It took me a moment to realize I just threatened him without flinching or apologizing. I forced myself to let it go and enjoy the afterglow of the best sex of my life. The heat and sweat coming off our bodies should have been enough to get me off him, but it wasn't. Despite my threat to get off him, his arms wrapped around me gently. "No promises. I love you," he said, completely at ease as he started stroking my hair. "I expect to be told about all future… Locations and phrases." "I love you too. That's no fun. I'm not doing that," I said, out right refusing his request. "Is that right? We'll see," he said cheekily, kissing my temple. "Let me take you to lunch. I want you to enjoy your first day of freedom."
"You sleep on your tummy, never any other way, unless I'm holding you. Does he know that? Parties make you uncomfortable, but you'd never know it because people love you. Does he know that? You have a photographic memory and consume textbooks at an alarming rate, hence the near perfect GPA. Does he know that? You suck at being a barista, but you keep getting jobs at coffee shops. Does he know that? The closest thing you've ever come to seeing a rom com is literally The Dark Knight Trilogy. Does he know that? You think ice cream cakes are stupid and refuse to have them on principle even though that's just ice cream, you freak. Watching movies with you is a nightmare, because you know the ending within minutes of it starting. Does he know that? You are the smartest, most fun, most beautiful girl in any room." I was absolutely floored. As he took a deep breath, I risked a look at him, trying to get myself to be rational. He was staring right back. He was my best friend. Knowing all of th...
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