Stacy— I declared a major

Kenny always says that I'm girlfriend goals for Scott, because we never argue. Well we were about to debunk that myth on the side walk of a busy New York road. 

"I have to go," I said, making my way to the door of the bakery. 

Conflicting thoughts went through my head. I knew, with absolute certainty, that the door to me coming back to New York or having any sort of life outside of being Luca's wife would close when I got on that plane. But what choice did I have now that I'd exposed Scott's existence to the entire mafia?

"Stacy, wait," I heard Scott call out to me.  

I couldn't see his face, but I was so caught up in my own feelings that it wouldn't have mattered what he looked like anyway. Behind the fear and the paranoia, I was just exhausted. Trying to run from being Don Angelo's daughter had drained me. 

Something in me snapped and I exclaimed, "You're not going to change my mind. This wedding is happening." 

Even as I said the words, briskly walking to keep Scott from catching up with me, a part of me hated the idea of him not chasing after me. When he caught up to me, I felt a short-lived sense of relief. That is until he spoke. 

"If that's really what you want, then go right ahead. Let your dad manipulate you for the rest of your life," he said with venom in his voice. 

I stopped on the corner of the street, a fresh face passing me by every second. Just taking in the city that had become my home while I summoned every scrap of courage I could. 

"Everytime I go back, I go back for you. Because I know if I don't go back, he'll come out here and find you next to me. And it doesn't matter if you don't think we're important, Mr. I don't feel anything for anyone, because he will," I said, revealing a painful fear that I had been holding on to for years. 

"Don't stand there and use me as your scapegoat. You go back everytime he calls you because you're terrified of letting go. Of declaring a damn major. You say you want your own life, but you won't risk shit to make it happen." 

These were the last words Scott said to me before he walked away. After that I got onto the subway and I've been sitting here since. Replaying our conversation in my head. 

How had I never seen Scott angry before today? Was this what rejection felt like? Was he right about me not standing up to daddy? 

When the first call came, I didn't even check who was calling. I just turned my phone off. Now that all the theatrics were over, and I had let go of everything and everyone, I was just numb. Not even the comfort of ugly crying would come. 

After hours of riding the train, I got off and made my way to my old sorority. 

"Are you lost?" a nineteen year old pledge asked me when she saw me standing in the exact spot where I first wanted Scott Brady to kiss me. 

Daddy always taught me that everything had a price. My first week in New York, I learned that he was wrong. Scott's friendship didn't come with a price. He'd never want me giving up on myself for him. He'd never want me giving up, period. 

"I was, for a long time. Better late than never right?" I said to the confused pledge with a smile. "Go Kappa Kappa Gamma!" 

Within ten minutes, I had made my way to the admissions office. I walked out an hour later, having declared my major. 

"I did it," I screamed, jumping into the air and punching it too. "I fucking did it. I declared a major. Take that, Don Angelo."

Students all around me gave me strange looks. Some laughed, some shook their heads, but I didn't care. This was a big moment for me and I wanted the whole world to know.

No sooner had I turned my phone back on than I got another phone call. The caller was my half brother, Joey.

"Hello Joey," I said, unwilling to have my raised spirits dashed. 

"It's Joseph," he snapped. "Don Angelo is furious," said Joey, stating the obvious. "He wants you on the first flight out."

"Just call him dad like a normal person, Joey," I said, rolling my eyes. 

"Joseph," he hissed again. 

"I'll come home when I'm good and ready. Until then, tell daddy I hope he's proud. His little girl just declared a major. I'm going to business school," I said, with a happy squeal. 

"Don Angelo is going to feed your boyfriend to the fishes if Luca doesn't do it first," said Joey. 

I could hear the smirk in his voice, but I wasn't going to waver. It was time to look past the fear in the pit of my stomach and push back. 

"Believe it or not, I didn't come here for a boy. I came to make a life for myself and dammit, that's what I'm going to do. If daddy has a problem with that, he knows where to find me. Otherwise I'm done playing Don Angelo says. I'm a grown ass woman. I don't take orders anymore," I said, hanging up the phone. 

Surprisingly all the missed calls were from home. None were from Scott, the one person I wanted to see right now. That stung. 

I went home and watched the seconds tick by for hours until my flight had officially departed. 

"Daddy's going to kill me," I panicked, exactly one minute after the departure time. "This is crazy. I'm crazy."

I had gone back to being afraid of my phone. If it rang and this time it was daddy, I didn't know for sure that I wouldn't be on the next flight to Chicago. It not ringing also meant that Scott wasn't calling though. Neither of these options being acceptable, I turned off my phone again to preserve my sanity. 

That did nothing to stop me from getting into a cab in the dead of the night and giving the cab driver Scott's address. 

"What the fuck am I going to say?" I said to no one in particular. 

Everything that had gone down between Scott and I just that morning had me forcing the cab driver to drive round and round his block for a good half an hour before the man finally said, "You do have cash, right?" 

That was my cue to get out. I spent the elevator ride pacing up and down, wringing my hands. 

"So, I declared a major. Yay. About the whole mafia thing, I was totally just kidding. Not getting married either. Psych," I said, doing hand guns with my fingers, before flattening my body against the wall. "Nope, he won't buy that. Can't say that."

I sighed, feeling completely deflated. By the time I was standing in front of Scott's apartment, I had gone through a million scenarios for how our conversation would play out. My hands were shaking as I made a fist to knock. 

Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. When the door finally opened, it revealed a young brunette. For a second, I thought I was at the wrong apartment. 

"3B?" I asked. 

"Yes, who is asking?" she asked. 

She was beautiful. Couldn't have been older than nineteen. After pretending to size me up for a few moments, recognition crossed her face. 

"Nevermind," I said hurriedly, turning around to leave. 

"Kidding. You're Stacy, of course I know that," she said, reaching out to touch my shoulder. "Saw you on the news this morning."

"That was—" 

"Scott's being a little bitch, if you ask me. Team Stacy all the way. Come on in," she said, taking my hand and pulling me into the apartment. 

I looked around the apartment like I'd never been there before. Everything was the same and yet somehow different. 

"Coming here was a bad idea," I muttered under my breath, as we entered the living room. 

"He's been brooding in his dark room for ages now. Don't worry though. I'll have him out in two shakes," she said with a wink. 

"I wouldn't intrude on his dark room time. It makes him grumpy. Also, who are you?" I turned around and asked, but she was already gone. 

How had I made it all the way up to his apartment, thinking things would be just like they always were? Everything was different now, wasn't it? I sat down slowly, my eyes drifting to all the ways to exit this room. That moment when he turned his back on me and walked away hit me hard and suddenly I couldn't breathe.

The presence of some random girl in his apartment didn't help. 

No, I hadn't stayed in New York for Scott Brady. So why did the idea of him not wanting me hurt so badly?