Prologue

Prologue

Everything was ordinary and normal with my life until this moment. Palaging pumapasok sa isip ko kung ano’ng malaking kasalanan ang nagawa ko para mangyari sa akin ito. When all I want is to have a normal and simple life. At mangyayari na sana ang pinapangarap kong makabuo ng sariling pamilya kung hindi lang nangyari ang trahedyang iyon.

“Pikit po kayo,” utos ng make-up artist na naglalagay ng kolorete sa mukha ko.

As I closed my eyes, I wished silently this was all just a dream. A nightmare to be exact. At sa pagmulat ko ng mga mata ay sasalubong sa akin ang liwanag. I silently hoped that as I open my eyes, my reality would go back to how it all used to be.

“Ayan, okay na. Dilat ka na.”

Pero pagdilat ko ganoon pa rin. Hanggang sa matapos ay tila ako nakalutang sa hangin. Hindi ko maramdaman ang mga bagay-bagay. Ni wala sa isip ko ang mga nangyayari sa paligid. I can hear voices but I don’t really understand the words.

Paano nga ba ako napunta sa sitwasyong ito? Bakit kailangan kong pagdaanan ang bangungot na ito?

Ah, oo nga pala. Bilang kabayaran sa pagkakautang. I wonder if my decision in doing this for the damn debt is all worth it?

“Okay, we’re done! Now it’s time to wear the gown. Assist her, please!”

“Yes madame.”

I looked at my own reflection in the mirror, still dumbfounded and lightheaded. Marahan kong pinaglandas ang mga kamay sa puting gown na suot ko ngayon. I didn’t mind the staff doing adjustments on the dress, putting sequins and other things. I fixed my gaze on my reflection.

Ako ba talaga ito? It all felt like a dream even until now. Everything would’ve been perfect. If only I was getting married to my real fiance.

“Beautiful! Perfect!” The make-up artist exclaimed. Pero hindi ko man lang magawang matuwa at ngumiti sa mga papuri.

I tried to pull myself together to do one last thing. Baka sakaling sa pagkakataong ito, hayaan niya na ako sa gusto ko. I have to try one last time. Kasi kalayaan ko ang nakasalalay rito.

“Are we done?” Tanong ko nang matapos sila sa pag-aayos ng gown.

Litong tumango ang make-up artist. Taka rin akong tinitigan ng ibang staff na nasa loob ng kwarto. I took that a chance to head towards the door pero bumalaga sa akin ang organizer ng kasal at taka akong tinitigan.

“We’ll take some pictures before the wedding starts Miss Villareal,” ngiti niya kalaunan.

I scoffed in my mind. What’s the use of a photo shoot when clearly there is no wedding happening today. All I have to do is convince him with everything I got.

“Can we do it later? I have to talk to him,” kalmado kong pakiusap kahit sa loob ko ay alis na alis na ako. I can’t afford to waste more time.

She took a glance at her wrist watch at alanganin akong tiningnan. I looked at her almost pleading. Alam kong magagalit si Lideon sa ginagawa ko pero wala na akong pakialam. I have to talk to him!

Nang hindi siya magsalita ay dali-dali akong lumabas at nagtungo sa kwarto kung saan alam kong nandoon si Lideon. I didn’t mind the ladies following me and trying to stop me from walking in haste.

“Miss Villareal, Mr. Martin is quiet busy at the moment. It’s best if you meet him later-”

Marahas kong nilagpasan ang assistant ni Lideon at walang ano-ano’y pumasok sa hotel room. Even his men outside were dumbfounded that I only stared at them coldly.

I managed to get inside the room without being dragged by someone away. Naabutan ko si Raul sa loob na nakaupo sa pang-isahang sofa habang ang bruho ay prenteng nakapandekwatro sa mahabang sofa. His massive arms spread wide on the backrest of the sofa as his dark and menacing eyes bore into mine.

I clenched my fist to stop myself from trembling. I know he’s pissed with my presence. Well same goes for me. Akala niya ba nagagalak akong makita ang pagmumukha niya matapos niya akong gipitin ng ganito? And he doesn’t have to worry about seeing me every damn time. Dahil pagkatapos nito, sisiguraduhin kong ni hibla ng buhok ko hindi niya makikita.

I breathed hard to calm myself. I directed my gaze towards him without blinking. His gaze traveled down my body na lalo ko lang ikinagalit.

“Leave us alone, Raul.” Malamig niyang sabi habang sa akin nakatingin.

Walang imik na tumayo si Raul at tinapunan ako ng nag-aalalang tingin. I can’t help but appreciate his kindness for the past month. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang lahat ng iyon.

I let out a silent sigh when I heard the door closed and both of us are left alone. Pinilit kong hindi pairalin ang sariling galit para sa lalaking kaharap. Nandito ako para magmakaawa. Tama, magmakaawa. I would kneel if I have to, matigil lang ang kahibangang ito.

“What do you want?” Balewala niyang tanong.

Kalma, Almene. Kailangan mong magmakaawa hindi ba? Hayaan mo na ang kayabangan at kawalang-modo ng lalaking ito. Ang mahalaga makawala ka mula sa sitwasyong ito.

“I-I can’t do this,” hirap kong sambit.

His gaze went even darker and angrier.

“What nonsense are you trying to say?”

Matapang akong tumitig sa kanya kahit na nahihirapan ang loob ko. I shouldn’t have agreed to do this in the first place. Dapat una pa lang naisip ko na ito. Dapat una pa lang nag-isip na ako ng ibang solusyon.

“I can’t marry you,” matapang kong sabi. “Babayaran ko ang utang ni Papa sa ibang paraan, hindi ito. Pakiusap! Mababayaran ko rin iyon, bigyan mo lang ako ng panahon!” Pikit-mata kong sigaw.

“No,” matigas niyang sabi.

Napamulat ako sa sinabi niya, hindi makapaniwalang agad-agad niya akong sinagot ng ganoon. Napaatras ako nang bigla siyang tumayo at inisang hakbang ang distansya naming dalawa. Anger and frustration never left his eyes. Pero imbes na matakot ay tinatagan ko ang loob ko.

"I clearly told you I won’t accept anything as payment except this. And you agreed. So don’t give me this bullshit and go back to your room.”

“Bakit naman, ha? It’s not as if you won’t get a woman who’s more than willing to marry you. Pumili ka nalang sa mga iyon. K-Kung gusto mo tulungan kitang makahanap ng mapapangasawa. H-Hindi ko tatakasan ang utang ni Papa sa iyo, pangako. J-just please...”

I didn’t realize I was sobbing so hard until I almost ran out of breath. Napayuko nalang ako sa kawalan ng pag-asa. Kung kailangan kong lumuhod, gagawin ko. I know this man doesn’t have a heart in him. Pero nagbabakasakali akong kahit kaunti may natitira siyang awa sa loob niya at hayaan nalang akong magbayad sa ibang paraan.

I held onto his sleeve and looked up to him. And I have never seen him this angry for the past month, ngayon lang. He looked insulted and extremely angry. So I concluded with my last resort. I’m throwing away my pride for doing this. Hindi bale na. To think I could actually attain my freedom through doing this comforted me.

“Please...”

Pero bago pa man ako tuluyang mapaluhod ay maagap niya akong nahawakan. His expression remain hard and angry. Gulat akong napatitig sa kanya sa pag-asang pagbibigyan niya ako.

“Kneeling in front of me is of no use. You will be my wife before this day ends. And don’t even try thinking of doing something funny again because I’ll have your every move guarded,” mariin niyang bulong. “Don’t even think of running away. You clearly know what’s at stake here. Now go back to your fucking room and wait ‘til the ceremony starts.”

Silly of me to forget how much of a demon this man is. Gusto kong matawa. Paano ko nga ba naisip na mayroon pang natitirang awa sa lalaking ito? I must have been out of my mind for a moment to think that he actually has a heart. No, he doesn’t. Kung gaano siya katikas at kagandang lalaki ay ganoon naman kaitim at kasama ang budhi niya.

I pushed his arm away from me and stood properly. Marahas kong pinunasan ang luha at masama ang tinging ipinukol sa kanya. I smiled sarcastically despite the tears.

“For a moment I actually forgot that you’re more evil than a monster. You’re a total asshole,” mariin kong sambit.

His anger intensified. Ang apoy ng galit sa mga mata niya ay lalong nag-alab. But I don’t care anymore. At kakatuwang hindi man lang ako makaramdam ni katiting na takot.

“Oh? Nagagalit ka? Come on, it’s not like it’s the first time someone labeled you as a despicable monster-”

Marahas niya akong hinila at mariing hinawakan sa magkabilang braso. His grip was so tight I’m sure it’ll leave a mark. Gayunpaman ay hindi ko ipinakita ang sakit. I smirked at him even more to insult him. Sa ganitong paraan man lang makaganti ako sa kawalang-hiyaan niya.

He glared at me even more at lalong humigpit ang hawak niya. Naiiyak akong nag-iwas ng tingin habang iniinda ang sakit. Siya rin ang kusang bumitaw at galit na nag-iwas ng tingin.

“Raul!” His loud growl almost made me jump.

I heard the door flung open and Raul’s familiar footsteps behind me.

“Lock her in her room and make sure she doesn’t go anywhere until the wedding!”

Tigagal akong napatitig kay Lideon sa sinabi niya. What the hell?! Ano’ng akala niya sa akin isang preso?!

“What?!”

“You heard me right. Annoy me once more at higit pa riyan ang gagawin ko.”

“What the hell!” Nanlalaki ang mga mata kong sigaw.

Before I knew it. I was escorted back in my room. Pakunswelo nalang sigurong hindi ako kinaladkad ng mga tauhan pabalik sa kwarto sa pagpupumiglas ko.

I can’t believe him! Napakasahol ng ugali!

My tears just won’t stop falling kahit ilang beses kong inisip na magiging maayos din ang lahat. As if magiging maayos nga. Oh god! What am I gonna do?

I was pacing back and forth panicking when the door opened. I was about to ask for help when I saw that it was my father. Malaki ang ngiting sinalubong niya sa akin habang ako naman ay mangiyak-ngiyak na sa sama ng loob.

“Almene, anak.” His smiled faded when he saw my disposition.

Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin at muli paulit-ulit na huminga ng malalim para pigilan ang luha. I still blame him, I can’t deny that. I should be living my life the way I want it to be pero dahil sa kanya...

I shook my head. I should stop myself from blaming him. Wala na ring halaga kung patuloy ko siyang sisisihin.

“Anak, I’m sorry,” garalgal ang boses na aniya.

“Iwan niyo na po muna ako. Gusto kong mapag-isa.”

It hurts me hearing his voice asking for forgiveness. At hindi ko pa mahanap sa puso ko ang patawarin siya. I sat on the cold floor as I cried some more. Kahit ngayon lang, gusto kong umiyak at ilabas lahat. Ngayon lang...

I fought the urge to cover my ears when the soft sound of the orchestra filled the hall. Lahat ng mga mata ay nakatuon sa akin habang naglalakad papunta sa dulo. Flashes of cameras blinded me as I stride my way towards the altar. My grip tightened as I tried to walk straight towards the monster who’s waiting for me.

Marahan ko nalang na iginala ang tingin sa kabuuan ng venue. The red carpet is decorated with fresh flowers. The whole place is filled with white roses lined up beautifully towards the altar. The huge chandelier illuminated the hall, ang amoy ng mga kandila ay nanuot sa ilong ko along with the fragrance of the flowers. Everything about it speaks elegance and wealth.

All I could see are unfamiliar faces. I bet most of them are Lideon’s business partners. His parents welcomed me with warm smiles na hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang suklian. They have no idea about this madness kaya dapat ko silang pakitunguhan ng maayos.

“You’re stunning, hija.” Danice Martin, Lideon’s mother smiled sweetly and hugged me.

Kung alam niyo lang po ang totoo, hindi kayo makakangiti ng ganyan katamis, sa isip ko.

Her husband, Ysmael Martin, hugged me too. Wala sa sarili akong yumakap sa dalawa at nagpasalamat. Hindi ko mawari kung saan nagmana si Lideon gayong napakabuti ng mga magulang niya. Danice Martin is stunning and beautiful even with her age. Ganoon din ang tikas at magandang tindig ng kanyang asawa.

“Thank you tita, tito.”

“It’s mama and papa now, hija.” Ngiti nilang dalawa.

I faked a smile and nodded lightly. I wonder when all of these would end.

Gusto kong bawiin ang kamay ko nang abutin iyon ni Lideon. Hindi ko siya magawang tingnan dahil baka sumabog lang ako sa galit. I would rather get this shit over with and go home.

The whole ceremony bore me. I could’ve drifted off to sleep if it were not for Lideon’s intense glares every time I attempt to yawn. Nagising lang ako ng tuluyan nang magpapalitan na ng vows. No matter how much I try to set aside the memory, it would always get to me.

Sa araw na iyon, ikakasal din dapat ako. Sa taong mahal ko, at inalayan ko ng pangako na siya lang ang mamahalin ko habambuhay. I have been looking forward for this moment in our wedding. When we would exchange our vows and wear the rings which signify our promises.

I looked away and cleared my throat. Kahit gaano ko pilit na balewalain ang sakit, pilit lang pinaaalala sa akin ng tagpong ito ang sakit na naramdaman ko ng araw na iyon. It should’ve been him who’s suppose to be with me right now, hindi ang lalaking ito.

“Do you, Althea Menesis Villareal, take Lideon Ambrose Martin to be your lawfully wedded husband, from this day onward, ‘til death do you part?”

I lifted my gaze on Lideon. He has that warning look in his eyes. Marahan ko ring inilibot ang tingin sa lahat ng taong naroon. Halos lumabas na mula sa rib cage ko ang puso ko sa lakas ng kabog nito. I looked at Lideon again when he squeezed my hand.

“I-I do,” pikit-mata kong bulong, pinipigilan ang mahikbi.

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss your bride, Mr. Martin.”

Napuno ng palakpakan ang buong hall. Everyone seems happy and encouraging. Well not me. Kanina ko pa gustong sumabog sa galit at sakit. Here I am getting married to another man when my fiance is lying in a hospital bed, in a comatose and no assurance of waking up!

Masama ang tinging ipinukol ko kay Lideon. He held my waist tight and pulled me closer to him. Napahawak ako sa dibdib niya upang huwag mapalapit ng husto pero balewala rin ang lakas ko.

He lowered his face at agad kong iniiwas ang mukha ko. His lips landed on the side of mine. I felt him smirk then he lifted my chin up which made me look at him. His eyes unreadable and mysteriously deep. My insides churned when his lips claimed mine, softly and slowly. All I could hear is the loud applause of the visitors as I slowly close my eyes.

To be continued...