5 ~ Why Do You Think You're Attracted To Me?

"What does that mean?" I asked, confused.

 

He smiled mischievously, his voice low and sensual. "It means I'm attracted to you," he whispered.

 

My heart skipped several beats. I swallowed hard.

 

"Attracted to me?" I repeated stupidly, unable to process what he'd just said.

 

"Didn't think I would be, did you?" he said.

 

I shook my head. "It's your guiding instincts that are talking; you can't be remotely attracted to someone who you just met and doesn't see the need for the arrangement he's forced into."

 

"No, it's not." He grinned, and then his expression turned serious. "I'm not going to take advantage of you, Seojin. Not like you're thinking."

 

"That was what I had heard the last time I was—" I paused, swallowing hard. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's not important."

 

I caught sight of his eyes narrow in suspicion, and I averted his gaze.

 

"Are you sure? Because it sounded pretty important." His voice was soft, and he sounded amused.

 

I glanced up at him. "Tell me the true reason why you think you're attracted to me."

 

"Why do you think I'm attracted to you?" he repeated, his brows furrowed.

 

"Because you were looking at me the moment we met, right? You're a Guide as well; you must have craved bonding with an Esper that's way above your rank. Besides, you said so yourself a few seconds ago, dumbass!"

 

His mouth curled into a smile. "You noticed. You really are observant, aren't you?"

 

"I'm not good at lying. I notice things easily."

 

He laughed loudly. "Your honesty is refreshing. I like that about you."

 

I wasn't used to hearing genuine compliments from anyone aside from Dr. Yoon, let alone the guy in front of me. The fact that he was complimenting me made me feel somewhat unsure of myself.

 

"Thank you," I mumbled.

 

"Don't mention it," he said, waving off the thanks with an air of nonchalance.

 

I continued glaring at him, my face turning redder by the second. Eventually, I gave up and looked away.

 

"I don't want to scare you away, but..." he began.

 

I cocked my head to the side. "I barely get scared of anything," I replied, staring straight back at him.

 

"Well, the truth is... I like how you stand up to me. I like how you look at me, even if most times it seems as though I'm some annoying insect to you. I like how you won't give in, unlike the other Espers and Guides I've encountered." He traced his finger along my jawline, his eyes searching mine. "And most of all, I like how much I want you."

 

My eyes widened and my breath caught. My mind went blank, and I couldn't think of anything to say.

 

He leaned back slightly and smiled softly, as if he knew what was going through my head.

 

He smiled sheepishly and scratched his head. "I know this is sudden, and it's a little embarrassing. If you don't like me like this, I totally understand. I will still fulfill my end of the bargain to our director."

 

I didn't know how to respond. In my head, I was screaming, YOU IDIOT!

 

"At the least, we're friends, right, Seojin?" Minseok asked.

 

I was on the verge of responding when a memory from my past resurfaced with those triggering words, and I froze. 

 

~It's alright, we're friends, right, little Seojin? Your favorite uncle will take care of you, hahaha~

 

He wasn't really my uncle, but he treated me like family since I was little and I regarded him as one.

 

His hand, those large hands of the man I trusted, reached out to my trembling, tied up, and drugged little frame.

 

The sound of his zipper being lowered, followed by the sounds of his pants dropping to the floor. The men he had invited to watch the sick show were laughing and jeering at us, calling names, and mocking me.

 

~Such a cute boy,~ they said. ~You're pretty for a virgin.~

 

~Take that off!~

 

It felt as though every hair on my body stood up as I recalled the night I was kidnapped and forced to be the plaything of that vile man and his group of friends.

 

I was only seven years old then, too young to run away or fight back.

 

Ba dum!

 

Ba dum!

 

My heart raced; I could feel myself shaking.

 

I tried to calm down, but I couldn't stop the memories from playing over and over again in my mind.

 

Slowly I could feel my body's temperature rising and I desperately wanted to get out of here.

 

I looked at my hands, and to my utter dismay, I saw black spots and veins branching out from under my skin.

 

This is bad! 

 

My corruption had already started to manifest. It was the first time I had ever manifested it this quickly. I should have taken a longer break after the battle a few days ago, but I didn't want to let my team down, so I pushed myself too hard.

 

"Your corruption will cause you to lose your mind," he told me, his voice coming through my head loud and clear.

 

I turned and saw Minseok standing behind me, looking concerned.

 

"I'm fine, really. Just a little tired, that's all."

 

I wrapped my arms around my chest tightly to try to calm my racing heartbeat.

 

"Is it because of what I said earlier? I barely have much data on you that was shared by the organization with me. I wouldn't know if this is normal for you, but you need my tou—"

 

I evaded his hand reaching out toward me and jumped out of the chair.

 

"No! Don't touch me without my permission, goddamnit! It's nothing like that. I just remembered something unpleasant from my past. I'll be fine now; don't worry about it."

 

I took another look at the clock in the corner of my vision. We still had lots of time before my team would be assigned a mission.

 

Rest, yes, I just needed some rest.

 

I walked towards the exit, but Minseok stopped me.

 

"Where do you think you're going?" His eyes glowed dangerously as he watched me.