4 ~ Just Play Along

I woke up the following morning with a splitting headache. I groaned and lifted my head off the pillow, staring at the ceiling for a moment before I glanced across the bed and noticed I was alone.

I realized that I had managed to walk back to my apartment before falling asleep.

At least I'll be able to rest easy today.

I slowly climbed out of bed and stretched, trying to move as little as possible. I slipped on a pair of boxers and a shirt before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. I threw some eggs into a pan and scrambled them while I went over my daily schedule in my mind.

After finishing breakfast and taking a bath, I quickly grabbed my backpack from the closet. Today, I'd be returning to our facility, which is also known as humanity's last defense, Guild Headquarters.

I opened the front door and walked outside. The sun was shining bright overhead, and I could smell the faint scent of flowers coming from somewhere nearby. I didn't know where, but it reminded me of home, and it brought a smile to my lips.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the keycard I received yesterday, walking down the street headed for the gate.

There are a lot of things I'm looking forward to doing once I get back.

I took another step, and then another, until I arrived at the entryway. I flashed my card, and the automatic lock released, allowing me to pass through the entrance.

The gatekeeper said nothing as I passed by him, but I felt eyes boring into my back. I ignored them and continued through the gates, entering the facility and making my way towards the elevator. I pressed the button for the 88th underground floor and waited patiently for the doors to open.

It was dark, yet I stepped inside.

The lights came on immediately, and I instinctively took a defensive stance the moment I heard a bang behind me. I turned around in surprise and found myself face to face with my teammates, all cheerful; their hands were up with joy, some of them holding confetti.

"Congratulations!!!" All three ladies shouted as they began showering me with the colorful streamers.

I froze, unable to comprehend what was going on.

The moment I saw the banner with the words [CONGRATULATIONS ON FINALLY GETTING A GUIDE!!! —MINSEOK AND SEOJIN OPPA NEW BONDING!!! =D] written across it.

My jaw dropped, and I looked between the banner and my team.

"Aw, you don't look so happy." Na Ri teased.

"We thought we should celebrate your special day with you since you're finally getting a Guide," another, Hye Jin, said, smirking.

I stood dumbly, feeling as though someone had punched me in the gut.

Is this real?

I hadn't had enough time to process everything yet. After seeing that banner, I couldn't help but feel my heart sink.

"H-How did..." I stammered, unable to think of anything else to say.

"You mean, how did we know?" Hye Jin asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. "It's that S-rank Guide of yours; he was the first who notified us that he would be joining our team as your Guide. So he told us to wait for today. Since there wasn't much we could do but wait, we simply hung around and watched over the building. Then when you showed up, we knew the two of you would probably meet, so we went ahead and prepared this surprise," she explained, pointing at the banner.

"He's just shy..."

That familiar voice of that jerk... Minseok.

"I guess he never really wanted a Guide in the past. Not many people are ready to accept the concept of being bonded to another man, especially from such a young age."

I turned to look at Minseok, and he averted his gaze as if trying to hide something. It made me want to punch him right in the face.

"But now he's willing to change his mind, it seems."

What a fucking liar!

Before I met Minseok, I had no intention of ever having a Guide. I had always seen Guides as some kind of saviors or angels bestowed upon us by the heavens, but there was absolutely nothing about them that I liked. I didn't trust them to begin with, and I felt like they were just using their ability to get close to Espers and take advantage of them.

Just imagining the idea of having someone try to bond with me was terrifying. I was already afraid of men because of what happened to me. Having someone I didn't even know attempt to bond with me as well only terrified me more. It was a fear I'd suppressed until now, but I had let my guard down once I grew in strength and rank at the Guild.

I had never considered myself to have an attractive appearance, so I assumed no one would ever approach me due to my rank. And when I thought back to the times when I interacted with Guides, I found it strange to believe they were interested in me. I always felt like they were just trying to use me somehow.

'He's strong!'

'He's rich!'

'He's handsome and charismatic.'

'He's definitely my type.'

'He's best suited to be my partner!'

'I wonder how good he'd be in bed.'

'He likes me, I should be his Guide.'

Those were a few words going around, and no matter how I wanted to have no dealings with them, the gossip persisted.

So I kept all Guides at arm's length, never letting anyone near me. Even now, when I heard that Minseok came here to make his move, the very idea of that enraged me. Just seeing his face gave me chills. If I had the chance, I would kill him. I would rip his throat out with my own hands.

That was why it surprised me that he actually managed to get close to me despite my best efforts.

In hindsight, maybe that was the reason he took the risk to come talk to me in the first place. He had some grand plan to push through my defenses, and he knew I wouldn't want to see him.

Maybe he thought if he talked to me, I'd realize how bad I wanted him, too. Maybe he thought I'd give up sooner if we continued to interact instead of shying away from each other.

If it's a game between us where both parties enjoy it, then I'll play along. I can do that much. But I'm definitely not going to fall in love with you.

I kept my face expressionless as I stared at Minseok. His eyes seemed to sparkle under the light of the recessed light above us. They weren't quite the same color as mine, though; they were an ocean blue, his naturally blonde hair which meant he wasn't a purebred Korean. I could tell from his looks alone that he was mixed-blood.

"If Seojin is too shy, how about you guide me?" Soo Min, another lady on my team, offered. "I don't mind getting a bit of experience from a rare S-rank Guide."

The others laughed. Of course, they all knew how much of a clown Min was. She was the only one who would ever dare offer such an invitation. I couldn't imagine her leading anyone anywhere.

But as I watched her laugh, I couldn't help but feel jealous. Everyone else got to joke around, while I remained silent.

I knew it was stupid. It was ridiculous for me to feel something just because he tried approaching Minseok. The fact that I felt something made me question my sexuality.

Did I really think this arrangement by Dr. Yoon would work? But knowing the answer didn't change anything. I needed to settle things before they got worse.

I finally said, "Minseok, could we speak privately?"

He looked over at me. My heart pounded painfully in my chest—hard enough to break the bones inside. What was wrong with me? I shouldn't have let myself feel this way. I was disgusted with myself for wanting to touch someone like Minseok. No matter how strong my desire, I knew better than to indulge it.

I forced my body to remain calm as I waved at the rest of my team, walked past them, and stepped outside. I hoped Minseok hadn't noticed my trembling legs.

The air was still cold, despite the morning hour. I shivered as I took a seat on top of a nearby bench and waited for Minseok.

Why am I out here? Why didn't I run when I had the chance? I should never have approached him. But now, I couldn't step away.

He emerged a few minutes later, looking worried.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm fine."

His concern brought a frown to his lips. "You're shaking. You don't look well at all. It's unlike you. Are you in need of some guiding?"

That was his sixth sense again. But I knew I had to act normal. If I told him the truth, he'd probably breathe down my neck.

"Not really, no... I'll be alright."

After a moment of silence, he sighed deeply. "Alright. So what was so urgent that you had to see me alone?"

I clenched my fists tightly. "I know you're only doing this because Dr. Yoon told you to. And I appreciate your help, but I wish you wouldn't push yourself too hard. This is going to hurt you, you know."

I felt miserable saying those words. They were the exact opposite of what I wanted to say. But I couldn't stop myself from speaking up.

Minseok leaned dangerously close to me, a smirk playing at his lips as he looked at me with intense eyes. "What if I'm doing this because I want to?"