6 ~ Take It Slow, And You Just Might Claim Me

"Where do you think you're going?" His eyes glowed dangerously as he watched me. "You should stay here for the next few hours until your corruption subsides or I'll make it a lot faster and less painful for you by aiding you."

I stared right into his face, trying to keep my composure.

"I'm fine!" I replied immediately, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

He continued staring at me, unshaken by my response.

"There are things that we should talk about. Things that you need to know if you want to live your life to its fullest potential."

I glanced at him cautiously.

What did he mean by that? What sort of things?

I knew that I had to listen to him; he was a rare rank just like I was and Guides were naturally adept at reading people.

But I couldn't tell what he was thinking. His expression remained blank, and the only thing I could feel emanating from him was pure rage at my defiance, even with the state I was in.

The last thing I wanted right now was to get angry back at him. I was feeling extremely unstable right now.

I could see my unstable ability have a cause and effect on the walls around me, with several cracks forming at the corners and edges of the panels. I felt nauseous, so I took deep breaths and tried to calm myself.

Then, I heard Minseok speaking again.

"I've never seen an Esper with such a large quantity of corrupted mana inside of them. As long as you stay here, I will be able to stabilize your corrupted mana. You don't need to worry. It won't hurt you. This is an emergency procedure that I must perform regardless of your current feelings towards me."

His voice was filled with confidence, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

It seemed like I wasn't alone in this situation. That made me feel a little bit better.

"Tell me, what made you put up your guard enough to trigger a corruption spontaneously?"

I didn't answer him.

"Did you hear any rumors about me?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

I didn't know shit about his existence until yesterday, and since then, I've been fighting against the urge to run away. Even though I realized I needed his help, I still fought with myself mentally.

Why am I resisting him so much?

Because I can't stand the idea of getting close to someone who will end up controlling me. My fear of being controlled is stronger than the temptation.

Not only because I'm embarrassed of my power, but also because I'm afraid of losing my way, of becoming a monster.

And most importantly, I'm afraid of the bond I'll form with a Guide.

I was desperate to suppress it until I could regain control of my mind.

It felt like a switch within me that I didn't understand, and I desperately searched for a way to stop it.

I had tried to meditate, but I couldn't focus my thoughts long enough to do so.

I was not the type to indulge in self-pity, and I hated being weak.

I made the decision to let it go and simply let it be.

"Fine, if you insist... but can you please stop glaring daggers at me?" I asked.

He sighed loudly, then walked over to me slowly.

I tensed up instinctively when I felt his warm hands brush against mine. I looked away, afraid to meet his gaze again.

"I won't hurt you," he whispered in my ear, making me shudder involuntarily.

I turned to look at him and saw his gentle eyes looking back at me. I saw the compassion in his eyes and felt a smile tugging at my lips.

"You're not going to force yourself on me, are you?" I asked.

"No. If I did, you wouldn't be able to resist me, and that would make it harder for me to stabilize your corrupt mana. I want to take care of you; I don't want to cause you any pain."

His face was inches away from mine now. His expression told me that he wanted to comfort me so I could feel safe.

But I couldn't relax around him. Not yet.

"If you can successfully guide me with all known methods at your disposal and my consent, of course, I'll let you claim me as your own," I said. "In fact, I'll welcome you into my heart and body willingly. And if you fulfill this task, I promise you that I won't reject you anymore."

"I've never had a Guide before, and even if I had, I wouldn't have allowed myself to be controlled. So if you try forcing yourself on me, I won't forgive you. Do you understand?"

There was some hesitation in his voice, but I could sense relief in his eyes. It took me awhile to realize why.

Now that I knew he was willing to listen, I could finally trust him.

A few seconds passed before he responded. The silence made me nervous, and I could feel my heart racing. I could tell that Minseok was surprised by my offer, and I could hear his breath quicken slightly.

"Could you repeat what you just said? You mean you'd accept me as your Guide?" He finally managed to get out.

"Not exactly; I'm still undecided about it," I answered. "But I do need a quick fix to my corr—"

My eyes doubled in size at the sudden hug. I felt the softness of his arms wrap around my torso and the warmth of his breath on my neck.

"I'll give you time to think it through, and in return, I ask that you let me hold you until you're ready to decide."

The words that came out of his mouth melted into my ears and seeped into my mind. I felt my breathing get heavier and the tingling sensation of a warm body pressed against me. His chest was smooth and firm, and I could feel his heartbeat from where I was pressing my cheeks against it.

He's not holding me. That's just how his body feels.

All I could feel was his warmth radiating from him, and I could hear his steady breaths. I could sense the excitement rising up in me, and I could sense his desire for me.

"How's your corruption level?" he asked, his lips brushing up against my earlobe.

I couldn't answer immediately because I was too busy focusing on the way his hand was caressing my lower back. My chest tightened, and I could feel my heart thumping in my throat.

I could feel the heat coming off of him, and I could smell his sweet scent mixed with the faint odor of lavender. I could feel the warmth of his body and the softness of his skin.

I looked at my arms; the patches and veins had cleared up, and I could see clearly through the dark cloud that used to hang over my vision.

"Can you let me go now?" I asked.

His face immediately fell from its previous expression of joy, and he released me from the embrace.

"Sorry, I got carried away," he apologized, his cheeks turning red.

Despite my initial surprise at his sudden action, it wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, I welcomed the feeling of his body against mine.

It had been long since I last held someone in my arms. When I was younger, my mother would hold me in her lap when I was sick and comfort me.

Gasp!

I winced at the sound of someone gasping behind me. I turned around to find Dr. Yoona staring at me with wide teary eyes.

"Seojin... did... did you just accept Minseok's guidance?" She stuttered, looking at me with hope and anxiety in her eyes.