GOD 01

GLIMPSE OF DEATH

CHAPTER 01

"Get out of here you monster!" my step-mom, Cecelia shouted at me. Napaigtad ako dahil sa takot at lagim ng boses ni tita. Sing-lamig ng nyebe ang gabi, nakakatakot pero mas matindi ang galit ni tita.

I was just seven years old when I was thrown out of my own house. Sa bawat pag balik ng alaala noong bata pa'ko ay mas nagpapatindi ng sakit kong nadarama. It's killing and torturing a part of me.

My mom died when I was two years old and Papa taught, I can't live without a mother so he remarried Auntie Cecelia, together with her three children Lia, Shaun, and Astra they moved into our mansion.

At first, they were nice, the little five-year-old me believed that they wouldn't harm me but believing is sometimes scary. You put your trust, and people will crumple it. And just like a torn paper, it will never go back in its true form. Either it will become trash or a scratch.

Mas naging mahigpit si tita, hindi ko gaanong nakakalaro ang kaniyang mga anak, maliban kay Astra. Bait baitan din ang dalawa kong step siblings, minsan ay inaagawan pa ako nila ng laruan. Pag mag susumbong naman ako kay Papa ay mas tumitindi lang ang poot nila. Tita would sometimes slap me, whenever Papa is not around.

As a helpless child, I would cry silently. She's an evil stepmother, and I don't even know the reason why she's like that.

Si Astra na minsan ko lang nakakalaro ay pinagbabawalan pa. Dumating din sa punto na sisinghalan niya ko sa harap ng iba pang bata, it will cause trauma to them and think they shouldn't be friends with me. It was pain and turtore to me.

As a kid, I would always wish to be a part of a happy family, kahit hindi mayaman okay na. But everything will not fall in its exact place. I would sometimes watch Papa and auntie Cecelia together with my step-siblings laughing together, like a perfect happy family. Na etsapwera ako. Ako na tunay na anak, or am I? The way they make me feel like an outcast, badly hurt. Ang pag-asa ko na magkaroon ng kompletong pamily, ay unti unti napupunit.

Seeing them happy is a pain in me. Bakit hindi ko kaya mararanasan ang ganoong karanasan? Am I not meant to be happy? or to smile even just a bit?

In school, my classmates would make fun of me, they will all laugh until the teacher will speak up to shut them. Hindi rin ako close sa mga kasambahay namin. I know auntie has threatened them to make me feel unwanted. She is the evil antagonist in my life.

I was 6 when I experienced abnormality, or so I thought was just an abnormality... it was much worse than that.

It was when Astra and I were playing in the garden, running around and catching butterflies. Astra is the only person who stayed nice, played, and laughed together with me. At least in my life, I have Astra, she brought happiness. Pag nawawalan ako ng laruan ay minsan niyang ibabahagi ang kaniya, pero sa patago pa ring paraan. I am least contented with my life, but Astra on my side makes me in cloud joy.

She was holding the butterfly's wing when I've looked at her brown eyes, suddenly I was drowning in it. It was like time stopped for a moment. It was just a glimpse yet full of situations, dark and terrifying.

Astra is running around the kitchen her body is covered with black smoke, behind her is a man wearing a black cape with a hood covering his face and is wielding a scythe with blood dripping on it. And in just a flick, Astra's head is already on the floor, with eyes wide open and parted lips.

"AHHHHHHHH" that's all my mouth could say, and there I saw Yaya running towards me, her face is confused and scared at the same time. My knees weaken and I fell to the ground. Tuloy pa rin ang sigaw ko hanggang sa mawalan na ako ng boses. I was stuck in a shocking state.

Astra walks towards me anxious about what she should do. But I remain silent. I can't even utter a word. I didn't look at her, ibinaba ko ang ulo ko at humagulgol. Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko, ramdam ko rin ang pagkakaputla ko. At that moment I lost myself.

What did I see? That must be my imagination, but everything feels so real, my blood is gushing, I am scared. Ni paggalaw ay hindi ko magawa, nanatili akong tulala at estatwa. Inalalayan ako ng mga kasambahay papunta sa kuwarto. 

I stared blankly at the empty gray ceiling. Bawat kurap ay mas lumalabo ang paningin ko. My throat was empty of words. Darkness suddenly covered my sight, hanggang sa dinala ako nito sa mundo ng panaginip.

Nakatayo ako sa isang daang walang hangganan. Walang kahit anino ang makikita, puro puti ang kapaligiran. I turn around to find its exit way. Tumakbo ako ng tumakbo, then I heard footsteps. Inilibot ko ang ulo ko upang hanapin ang tunog. There was no one.

A clapping of hands made me feel goosebump. Then the surroundings suddenly became dark. A thunder of voice spoke.

"Let's meet soon" it was raspy, scary and full of danger, nanindig ang balahibo ko, tila ba ay nakalutang ako sa dagat ng itim na tinta. Hirap akong makaahon sa tindi at nakaka-bagabag na boses.

Just one finger clicks woke me up. Pawisan akong napaupo sa higaan. I can still clearly hear the man's voice. Pinilig ko nalang ang ulo, that was just a dream or a nightmare, I guess.

Binasa ko ang mukha ko ng malamig na tubig. I sighed and puffed air. I intently stared at my eyes in front of the mirror. I was six years old at that time, yet fully aware of its surrounding.

After that day, I tried to tell Papa and Auntie Cecelia about what I've seen, even though I was not sure and scared at the same time.

Auntie never believed me, she was even furious, saying that I'm making fake scenarios about her daughters and that I was just trying to get their attention. Papa was disappointed in me. Of course, he will be, even I.

I thought I was just young that's why they will never believe what I say. Pero hindi sila naniniwala sa'kin dahil na rin sa katotohanang ayaw nila sa'kin.

Maybe I was just hallucinating. Just maybe.

I was near to losing my mind, each passing second, minute, and hour made me crazy. Ang kadahilanang walang naniniwala at ang paulit ulit na bagabag sa isip ko ay mas nagpapahina sa'kin. I feel so empty, trying hard.

They say, our mind is a wide-open book full of imagination. I thought it was all just some misconception, but it was not, 3 days after that Astra died in the kitchen due to a sudden heart attack. They became shocked and some throw hurtful words, a curse that will affect and destroy them. Their eyes tell it all, hatred, judgment, and disgust. Everything I saw on that glimpse was completely the same, her body, posture, and death.

Her eyes were wide open, and her lips parted. It was my birthday. My worst day ever. The day I hated so much. And the day I lose everything.

I turn 7 and it was full of dark memories. Nanliliit ako sa sarili. Should I have not told them?

My tears fell when Auntie slapped me hard. My cheeks hurt and my eyes were sore. She yelled at me and said that I am some cult child. Papa didn't even say any words to comfort me or shelter me against Auntie, instead, he throws me outside. Hirap na hirap akong humahagulgol. Nakamasid ang dalawa kong step sibling, puno ng suklam ang mapanghusgang mata. I hold onto his arms, with eyes full of tears and pain. He forcefully shrugged my little hands-off.

I feel so weak and terrified. I've begged and pleaded but Papa just pushed me away and uttered the most heartbreaking line I've ever heard. It was like a million knives were thrown at me, puro nakatusok at tumagos. It was not the physical pain that hurts the most, but trust and love that is not accepted and wrecked. Trust is futile.

"You are not my daughter." just five words, but it shattered my whole being. It made me lose all the rainbows that were painted in my blue sky. My world suddenly turns to ashes, nothing was left.

The young terrified me is no longer here. I tried walking and standing on my own feet. I shouldn't be tied with anyone for I only bring chaos and death in their life. A light was in front of me, I tried to reach for it, pero tuloy ang paglayo nito.

My feet became weak, my arms lost their strength to reached the light. But, before I've fallen, a hand was there and hold me in its weak state.

I am Libitina Morana, living in my dark world and the one who can take a glimpse of death. Succumb in my eyes were you death awaits to be seen and dare not forgotten.