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Chapter 36
NAPAKURAP AKO HABANG sinasalubong ko ang titig niya. Ang seryoso ng mukha niya pati 'yong boses niya. Hinaplos ko ang kaliwang pisngi niya at tumagilid ako para magkaharap kami.
"Gusto ko 'yong dating Damon. 'Yong Damon na hinahabol ko. 'Yong Damon na inaabangan ko sa mga interviews niya. 'Yong dating Damon na pinagpupuyatan ko pero mahal ko 'yong Damon na kaharap ko ngayon. 'Yong Damon na natuto sa nangyari sa kaniya. 'Yong Damon na natutunan magpahalaga ng mga bagay-bagay. 'Yong Damon na maraming na-realize sa buhay niya at sa mga tao sa paligid niya. 'Yong Damon na seryoso at kaya nang mag-commit. Gusto kita noon pero mahal kita ngayon. 'Yon ang sagot ko sa tanong mo. Hindi mo naman ako puwedeng papiliin sa dalawa kasi iisa ka lang naman. Nagkaiba lang sa kung sino ka noon at kung ano ka na ngayon. Nandito na 'ko sa 'yo noon pa lang kahit hindi mo pa alam na nag-e-exist ako. Nandito pa rin naman ako ngayon."
Ngumiti siya at mabilis akong hinalikan sa mga labi ko. "A
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NATULALA AKO KAY Damon at nakatingin pa rin siya sa likuran ko hanggang sa makita kong gumagalaw ang ulo niya para sundan ng tingin ang taong nasa likuran ko na ngayon ay kitang-kita ko na dahil umupo siya sa bakanteng upuan nitong mesa namin. Nang tignan ko siya ay napalunok ako. Ibang-iba siya sa billboard kumpara sa personal. Mas maganda. Mas maputi. Mas sexy. Mas kaakit-akit. Parang gustong lumabas ng mga kinain ko mula sa tiyan ko. Nang tignan ko si Damon ay nakatitig pa rin siya kay Ana habang mahigpit ang hawak niya sa kutsara at tinidor. Sa sobrang higpit ay parang kaya na niyang baliin 'yon. Napako ang tingin ko kay Ana nang dahan-dahan niyang paglandasin ang hintuturo niya sa isang braso ni Damon pababa
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NIYAKAP KO SIYA nang mahigpit at niyakap niya rin ako. Lumakas ang hagulhol niya at siniksik niya ang ulo niya sa leeg ko. "Ayoko na, Emma. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko na kayang ipilit. Masakit na." Sobrang sakit ng lalamunan ko sa pagpipigil kong tumulo ang mga luha ko. Kailangan kong maging malakas pero hindi ko magawa dahil sobra akong naaawa sa kanya. "Nandito naman ako. Hindi ako magsasawa hanggang sa maging okay ka na. Iintindihin kita." Naramdaman kong umiling siya."You have given me too much patience, Emma. Hindi lang naman ikaw ang dapat kong makausap o makasama. I need to go out. I need to go out around, but how am I going to do that when they are judging me because of my looks!" Hinaplos ko ang likod niya para pakalmahin siya."Damon, sana lagi mong isipin 'yong sinabi ng bata kanina. Your scar does not define who you are as a person." Bigla siyang umalis sa pa
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NAPALUNOK AKO NANG marinig ko na tama pala ang sinabi niya. Napatingin ako sa harap ng kotse niya. Bigla akong nanghina at bigla kong naramdaman ang panginginig ng mga kamay ko. "Bakit? Nagbibiro ka lang, 'di ba?" "Does my face looks like I'm joking around?" Salubong ang mga kilay ko nang tignan ko siya. Hindi pa rin siya nakatingin sa 'kin. Naka-focus pa rin siya sa pagmamaneho niya. "Makikipag-break ka sa 'kin habang nagda-drive ka? Hindi mo nga ako matignan nang diretso tapos makikipag-break ka." Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang mabilis na tumulo sa mga pisngi ko nang marinig ko na gusto niyang makipag-break sa 'kin. Tinigil niya ang pagmamaneho sa gilid ng kalsada at tinignan ako nang diretso sa mga mata ko. Napaiyak ako. Nakikita ko na kasi ngayon na hindi talaga siya nagbibiro. Ano ba'ng nasa isip niya at makikipag-break siya sa 'kin? "Damon, bakit? May nagawa ba 'kong masama? Nagalit ka ba sa 'kin sa nangyari kahapon? S
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