I wake up to an empty bed. The sound of the shower running comes from behind the bathroom door.
He is in the shower. Should I take this chance to run? Not run. Go back to my room. This is his room. I should not be here in the first place.
This is either going to turn into nothing, something, or…a colossal mistake.
What if this was a mistake?
We’ve been waiting so long for the right time to get together but put us together at a wedding and suddenly it’s like we can’t wait.
It’s the stupid wedding fever.
All those flowers and lovey dovey-ness and suddenly everything was all rainbows and the next thing you know we are sneaking upstairs in the middle of the night while everybody else partied hard…
Everybody else.
Holy fuck.
The last thing I want is for everybody else–or just one of them, really–to see me sneaking out of Jude’s room early in the morning. I’ll never hear the end of it. Ever.
I push away the covers and then just as quickly pull them back over me when I realise I’m stark naked. Why am I surprised? The clothes that we left scattered all over the hotel room’s floor are sitting at the bottom of the bed, folded.
I get on my knees and crawl to the other end of the bed. I pull on my panties and strap on my bra. I’m pulling my dress from last night–a dead giveaway of my waywardness if I do run into anyone in the hallways–over my head when the bathroom door opens.
I tug the fabric down, revealing my face. Jude is standing in the bathroom doorway, hair damp, droplets of water on his chest, only wearing a pair of boxers.
Butterflies swarm my stomach and the muscles a little down south clench.
Wrong reaction.
I should be getting the hell out of here–not gawking at him like I want a repeat of last night. Right now.
He walks forward, a small frown on his face. “What are you doing?”
What was I doing?
I swallow and turn away from him, pulling the dress further down my body as I edge towards the side of the bed.
“I need to go back to my room,” I say, getting to my feet.
“I can get your stuff,” he tells me, coming to stand in front of me.
I nibble on my bottom lip. “Why would you do that?”
His eyes narrow and he leans forward–hands on knees and all–and gives me a close look. The kind of close look you’d give someone when trying to decide what’s wrong with them. “Did you forget?”
It’s hard to think with him so close. “Forget what?”
“We agreed you’d move in here for the rest of the weekend.”
We did?
When?
Why would I agree to something like that?
My family is also staying in this hotel until tomorrow. The moment they realise I’m staying in Jude’s room, Lilian, her new husband, and her beach wedding will no longer be the topic of discussion. I’ll be.
“We didn’t,” I say.
“We did,” he counters. “You were half-asleep, so maybe you don’t remember.”
Shit. Maybe he is telling the truth. I poke his shoulder so he can stop peering down at me like he’s talking to a five-year-old. He straightens to his full height.
“If I’d been a little bit awake, I wouldn’t have agreed to something like that,” I tell him.
“Why not?”
I shrug and look down at my dress as I smooth down the skirt. Not that I need to. It’s an A-line chiffon dress that falls to my knees perfectly without trying. “It’s not like we are back together.”
“Aren’t we?”
I look up at him. “What?”
Did we agree on that too? While I was half-asleep? I would never forget something like that. Not when I’ve been waiting for close to three years. If we agreed on something like that, I would come back from being half-dead, leave alone being half-asleep.
He scratches the back of his neck. “I thought after last night…I thought that was what last night meant.”
When ‘last night’ was happening, I didn’t think it meant that. Did I want it to? God, yes. I never wanted to leave his arms again. I didn’t want morning to come only to be thrust back into a life where I couldn’t be with him like that.
Last night is not the kind of thing I can walk away from without looking back. I would think about it every waking hour and dream about it every time I went to sleep.
That’s what I was prepared for–to take the piece of him from last night to survive on until whenever we got back together.
It must have skipped my mind that ‘whenever’ is totally up to us.
“Okay,” I say.
A minute ago, I was terrified of what my family would say for the next ten years if any of them saw me leaving Jude’s room. Suddenly, it doesn’t matter what anyone would say.
“Okay we are on?” Jude asks.
I nod. “We are.”
The words are barely out of my lips before he is picking me up and twirling me around. I laugh. There’s so much joy overflowing inside me that I can’t help but laugh.
It’s been a while since I felt this happy, this light. It’s as if at this moment, everything has fallen into place.
I wrap my arms around Jude’s shoulders and hug him tight. He eventually stops twirling me around and we stand there–just him, really, because my feet are a foot off the ground–just holding onto each other.
When we pull back, my eyes are teary. I blink rapidly and wipe away the wetness. I can’t believe this is happening.
Jude holds my face between his hands and leans forward. I turn my face away at the last moment.
“I don’t get a kiss?” he asks. He sounds amused.
I reach up for his hands and pull them down. “I haven’t brushed.”
“Did I say that was a–”
“Shhh.” I put my index finger over his lips, shutting him up. “Don’t ruin this moment with a gross comment.”
He grins. Then he nips my finger.
I pull it away and look around for my shoes. “I’ll go back to my room and–”
“There’s an extra toothbrush in the bathroom,” he says, already pulling me towards the bathroom’s direction. “You can brush here.”
“I still need to go to my room, that’s where my stuff is.”
“Give me your keycard, I’ll get them.”
“It’s in my purse.”
He urges me into the bathroom with a hand on the small of my back. “Alright. I’ll be back in a minute.”
When he is gone, I turn to the mirror and check my reflection. Other than my puffy hair, it doesn’t look like I just woke up. My face is glowing. It must be the happiness. And the sex.
My cheeks heat up when I think about that. I cannot tell at what point we decided we were going to cross the line that had remained between us for over two years.
But I would say the end of our just-friends phase began yesterday noon. I was at the front of the altar with the rest of the bridesmaids. Jude was sitting on the second pew from the front, next to Trey.
His eyes were on me when I first saw him, but not on my face. So it took a few seconds for him to find out I caught him checking me out.
When our eyes met, there was nothing friendly about his glance. It was heated and all-consuming, betraying the nature of his thoughts as he looked at me.
My stomach somersaulted and I pulled my eyes from him quickly.
That moment meant a lot because believe it or not, we’ve been perfect friends since we took a break. If any of us had any non-platonic thoughts or feelings–I sure did, a lot–we kept them hidden perfectly well. There were no stolen moments or lingering gazes filled with longing.
So when he looked at me like that, it sent my heart racing and by the time the service was over, I was sweating beneath my floor-length gown from thinking too much.
Because I knew, and I think he also knew, that look changed things.
Later on at reception, when the night had worn on and almost everybody who was still at the party was half-drunk and dancing, we ended up at the same table with Trey and Sam and Simon and Liam.
It was the first time in a long time that I felt awkward around him.
It was such an uncomfortable feeling.
We’d been so comfortable around each other for the past couple of years, and then one look changed everything.
When I couldn’t take it anymore–and also because Simon was starting to give me suspicious looks–I excused myself and went looking for the bathroom.
I had just walked past the elevator when Jude caught up to me. He gripped my hand and asked if I wanted to go upstairs with him.
The elevator doors were barely closed before we were all over each other. The earlier awkwardness was gone. The rest is what led up to this morning.
I’ve just finished cleaning up when Jude reappears. He props his shoulder against the doorframe and crosses his arms over his chest.
He is now dressed, in a pair of black trousers and a white T-shirt. It’s crazy how he makes such a simple outfit look like it belongs on the cover of a magazine. “Can I get my kiss now?”
I smile and walk over to him. I get on my toes to kiss him but end up shrieking instead when he grabs me around the waist, throws me over his shoulder, and carries me back into the bedroom.
He puts me down on the bed and I barely regain my balance before he is kissing me. I end up on my back while he covers my body with his. My hands end up in his damp hair while my legs go around his hips.
His lips move from mine and travel down my jaw towards my throat. I throw my head back as he kisses along my collarbone. He stops too soon and raises his head to meet my eyes. “When are we getting married?”
It’s the furthest thing from what I expected him to say. I chuckle. “What?”
He wiggles his brow. “You caught the bouquet yesterday, remember?”
Fuck. Yeah, that happened.
I tried everything I could to avoid the bouquet, but the thing still ended up in my hands. It was as if Lilian had a GPS pointed directly at me and the cursed thing would find me no matter what I did.
Needless to say, a lot of teasing followed after that. And yes, I’m a hundred percent sure it was intentional on my sister’s part. I wouldn’t put it past her to have conspired with the other bridesmaids to ensure I got it.
“When are you two going to stop acting like you are just friends and get married already?”
That’s the question she has asked me about five different times in the past few years. She does it every time we are home for some holiday and Jude happens to be there–because my parents always invite him.
“I don’t know, when are we?” It’s only a joke, but there’s some part of my brain that doesn’t acknowledge that. My heart speeds up as I look into his eyes, as if I’m expecting a serious answer from him.
I’m crazy. It’s been barely ten minutes since we agreed to start dating after a two-year break and here I am, thinking about marriage.
The wedding fever is still at large, I’d say.
“As soon as you want to.” He brushes a few unruly hairs from my face. His eyes are dead serious as he holds my gaze. “I mean that.”
“What about you?”
“I’m leaving it up to you because if it’s up to me, I’d be driving us to the registry office first thing tomorrow morning. I don’t want to ruin things with my over-enthusiasm.”
I arch an eyebrow. “You are assuming I won’t do the same?”
“It’s fine if it’s mutual over-enthusiasm. The risk gets spread around and all that.”
I can’t help but laugh. He smiles and rolls to his side and embraces me. My hand curls against his chest and I realise his heart is beating just as wildly as mine.
“Baby steps, huh?” We’ve been way too careful about getting the timing right this time round to ruin it with overexcitement.
Marriage is a whole other level, and much as I’ve been certain for years that he’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, it’s wiser to take it one step at a time.
He presses a kiss to my forehead. “Baby steps.”
We remain like that for a while, forgetting about breakfast and such mundane stuff. Currently, this feels like a dream. It might take the entire day to sink in, or longer.
I can only hope we’ve got it right this time. They say third time’s the charm, right?
It better be.
Trey bumps shoulders with Simon the moment we show up to breakfast. That’s how I know they know. They probably figured it out when we left together last night. Still much better than one of them catching me sneaking out of Jude’s room, though. Not that it matters now. Now, we are together. There’s nothing to hide.There’s only four people at the table; Trey, Simon, Sam, and Liam.Simon looks at us and a slow grin takes over his face.The look on his face promises a load of questioning later. I would like to say I don’t look forward to it. But I think I do. I need to shriek. In excitement. And have someone shake me and tell me I’m not dreaming. And then roll a hundred times on the beach and shout to the ocean. Simon is the perfect company for all of that.Right now, I’m biting down on my bottom lip to hold back the eternal smile that has wanted to take over my face for a while now. My cheeks already hurt. Even my head aches. I didn’t know it was possible to get a headache from being
We don’t go up after breakfast. We go outside, drawn by the ocean. There aren’t many people on this part of the beach at this time. There’s a bit of an empty stretch of land between our hotel and the next, then some more to the next one. It’s quiet for now. I can only imagine how it’ll be at night while people gather for the beach parties that are bound to be rampant at this time of the year.We hold hands as we walk down the beach, talking about everything and nothing. We talk about school, and work, and our families. Jade recently got engaged to her boyfriend of two years. Jude doesn’t like it. He says he has a bad feeling about the guy, and thinks Jade is too young anyway. She is in medical school, going into her fifth year. Jude thinks it’s the wrong timing, with the wrong guy. I don’t know much about Jade’s fiance, so I don’t know whether Jude’s reservations are based on fact or whether it's just him being an older brother who’ll never think any guy is good enough for his li
The moment the house comes into view, my breath hitches in my throat. I’m not the only one who looks totally captivated, though. Beside me, Simon curses softly. On my other side, Maria whips out her phone for a photo. Yeah, that must be one amazing shot. I’m sure she is glad she didn’t bail out. She would have regretted it. Because the party is on a private island.Isaac only let us know about that amazing bit like an hour ago. He said like everyone else, he thought the party was going to be at the hotel the band was staying. Only for the manager to reveal at the last minute it’d be offshore.We are not even there yet–the boat is about to dock, though–but this is already the best party I’ve ever been to. Not that I’ve been to many, but yeah. Seriously, what can beat a private island party with your favourite band?From out here in the ocean, we can see the lit-up mansion, a few cottages, the palm trees, the party lights set up outside, and people walking around. By the time we get t
Jude is waiting outside the bathroom when I get out. I ignore him and walk right past him, but he rushes ahead of me and blocks my path.I glare up at him.“I’m really sorry, that was dickish of me.” He rakes his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath. “I’m fucking this up already, aren’t I?”I move my eyes from him and stare at the wall next to him. I don’t want to spend the night mad. I really don’t. We obviously need to talk about stuff–we jumped in too eagerly. Just because we slept together last night doesn’t mean we should get back together. It was a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing, and maybe that’s all it was meant to be. If we had done this the right way, we wouldn’t be all over the place not even a day into the relationship.I look back at him. He looks like he feels real shitty, so I’ll let it be.He was jealous. I get jealous too. But it’d be great if he didn’t say hurtful things while at it.“Let’s go look for the others,” I say, sticking my hands in my jacket
Isaac goes back to his friends after I assure him I’ll be okay. When we part, I go down to the beach. I take a deep breath and then release it once I get far away from the activity. The air is cool and salty. After a few drags, I feel better. I look back towards the mansion, a knot forming in my stomach. Fine, Jude was an ass. But does it have to be like this? I don’t enjoy being mad at him, and I don’t want this night to keep on this way. I’ve waited so long for this to waste the time we have together like this.He looked really contrite and he regretted the words as soon as he said them. He didn’t say sorry only to placate me or to get back on my good side. He really meant it. I know him–it’s all I’ve been doing the past couple of years, getting to know him on a level I never did when hearts were crowding my eyes and dopamine pumping through my veins–and I know he was being sincere.Now I feel horrible for making such a big deal out of this. How can we make this work if every li
On New Year’s day, Jude and I are on the road, heading for his grandparents’. This is the first time I’ll be spending any time around Jude’s family. Over the years, he has gotten quite close with mine. Whenever he is back home, he has to come by at least once. But I’ve never been to his house. And here I am, going to spend two days and nights with his extended family.“How are they?” I ask as we get closer to our destination. We passed the last town about ten minutes ago and there’s nothing out here but forest and farmland. I’ve rolled my window down to enjoy the fresh countryside breeze on my face.“My family?” he asks, looking away from the mostly empty road for a second and at me. “I have no idea. Though I have to warn you, I remember one of my cousins to be a pain in the ass. He got along with Jared when we were younger.”I arch an eyebrow. “Birds of a feather?”Jude’s older brother bullied him when they were younger.Jude nods.“Maybe he has changed,” I say. “I mean, look at you
A lot more people arrive in the evening. When we sit down for dinner, every spot at the sixteen seater dining table is filled. There are so many and that’s a good thing–no one pays any attention to me beyond the initial introduction. Other than Ron, of course. He has been throwing nasty glares my way all night, as if he’s planning my murder in his head.I’m sitting near one end of the table, with Jude on my right and Janet on my left. Jade and Jared ended up on the other side of the table, with one of their first cousins sitting between them.The aunt sitting at the head of the table right next to Janet is quite conversational. She is the main driver of the conversation, asking about everyone’s family and work. I’m guessing she is in her mid sixties.She has engaged almost all of her nephews and nieces when she finally turns her attention to Jade. “Jade, that’s a beautiful ring you’ve got right there.”Everybody’s attention turns to Jade. Jade looks down at her ring and then smiles a
Jude’s grandfather is laid to rest in the family graveyard, next to Jude’s grandmother. The service is done by two o’clock. There’s quite a crowd, with more relatives having arrived earlier today. We go back to the house afterwards, where a lot of refreshments are waiting. The mood today is a lot more subdued than the one last night when everyone was catching up. One of Jude’s older male cousins gets his attention when we get to the house, and I go to get something to eat by myself. I load a couple of sandwiches and some strawberries on a platter, then grab a bottle of water and look around the room. There’s a lot of sitting area inside the house and more in the back. But both places are swimming with people, so I head for the one place I’m sure is deserted–the front of the house. There’s a swing chair on the porch and I settle there, placing my bottle of water beside me and my platter on my lap.I was right, it’s quiet and deserted out here. It’s just me and the beautiful view. I