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43. On the Outside
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2024-05-20 17:06:46Related chapters
Forever Jude 44. Will You?
Jude’s POV“No,” I say, reaching out and wiping her tears away. Cole’s right. I’m an asshole. Shithead. Dumbass. As if I haven’t made her cry enough times. After everything I’ve put her through, I should spend the rest of my life making up for it by making her smile every single day. Instead, I go and do this.Her eyes fall shut, and her body trembles as she takes a deep breath. I jump to action, pulling the comforter over her.“What are you doing?” she asks, confusion palpable in her voice. Her eyes remain closed.“I don’t want you to be cold.” I sound lame even to myself.Her throat moves as she swallows. Her eyes open and stare right into mine. They are shiny with tears but lacking their usual brightness. “Do you hate me?”I blink. What? Why would she–Yeah, right, buddy. Why would she ask that? Can’t possibly think of any reason.So it isn’t working for you?No.Like a bona fide idiot.“No.”“Then why…” she trails off and lifts her hand to her face. She covers her eyes, but I can
Last Updated : 2024-05-20Forever Jude 1. Third Time's the Charm
I wake up to an empty bed. The sound of the shower running comes from behind the bathroom door. He is in the shower. Should I take this chance to run? Not run. Go back to my room. This is his room. I should not be here in the first place. This is either going to turn into nothing, something, or…a colossal mistake. What if this was a mistake? We’ve been waiting so long for the right time to get together but put us together at a wedding and suddenly it’s like we can’t wait. It’s the stupid wedding fever.All those flowers and lovey dovey-ness and suddenly everything was all rainbows and the next thing you know we are sneaking upstairs in the middle of the night while everybody else partied hard…Everybody else.Holy fuck.The last thing I want is for everybody else–or just one of them, really–to see me sneaking out of Jude’s room early in the morning. I’ll never hear the end of it. Ever.I push away the covers and then just as quickly pull them back over me when I realise I’m star
Last Updated : 2023-12-14Forever Jude 2. Tonight's Plans
Trey bumps shoulders with Simon the moment we show up to breakfast. That’s how I know they know. They probably figured it out when we left together last night. Still much better than one of them catching me sneaking out of Jude’s room, though. Not that it matters now. Now, we are together. There’s nothing to hide.There’s only four people at the table; Trey, Simon, Sam, and Liam.Simon looks at us and a slow grin takes over his face.The look on his face promises a load of questioning later. I would like to say I don’t look forward to it. But I think I do. I need to shriek. In excitement. And have someone shake me and tell me I’m not dreaming. And then roll a hundred times on the beach and shout to the ocean. Simon is the perfect company for all of that.Right now, I’m biting down on my bottom lip to hold back the eternal smile that has wanted to take over my face for a while now. My cheeks already hurt. Even my head aches. I didn’t know it was possible to get a headache from being
Last Updated : 2023-12-14Forever Jude 3. He Is a Total Man Now
We don’t go up after breakfast. We go outside, drawn by the ocean. There aren’t many people on this part of the beach at this time. There’s a bit of an empty stretch of land between our hotel and the next, then some more to the next one. It’s quiet for now. I can only imagine how it’ll be at night while people gather for the beach parties that are bound to be rampant at this time of the year.We hold hands as we walk down the beach, talking about everything and nothing. We talk about school, and work, and our families. Jade recently got engaged to her boyfriend of two years. Jude doesn’t like it. He says he has a bad feeling about the guy, and thinks Jade is too young anyway. She is in medical school, going into her fifth year. Jude thinks it’s the wrong timing, with the wrong guy. I don’t know much about Jade’s fiance, so I don’t know whether Jude’s reservations are based on fact or whether it's just him being an older brother who’ll never think any guy is good enough for his li
Last Updated : 2023-12-14Forever Jude 4. How Long Will We Last?
The moment the house comes into view, my breath hitches in my throat. I’m not the only one who looks totally captivated, though. Beside me, Simon curses softly. On my other side, Maria whips out her phone for a photo. Yeah, that must be one amazing shot. I’m sure she is glad she didn’t bail out. She would have regretted it. Because the party is on a private island.Isaac only let us know about that amazing bit like an hour ago. He said like everyone else, he thought the party was going to be at the hotel the band was staying. Only for the manager to reveal at the last minute it’d be offshore.We are not even there yet–the boat is about to dock, though–but this is already the best party I’ve ever been to. Not that I’ve been to many, but yeah. Seriously, what can beat a private island party with your favourite band?From out here in the ocean, we can see the lit-up mansion, a few cottages, the palm trees, the party lights set up outside, and people walking around. By the time we get t
Last Updated : 2024-01-08Forever Jude 5. It's Just a Temporary Thing
Jude is waiting outside the bathroom when I get out. I ignore him and walk right past him, but he rushes ahead of me and blocks my path.I glare up at him.“I’m really sorry, that was dickish of me.” He rakes his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath. “I’m fucking this up already, aren’t I?”I move my eyes from him and stare at the wall next to him. I don’t want to spend the night mad. I really don’t. We obviously need to talk about stuff–we jumped in too eagerly. Just because we slept together last night doesn’t mean we should get back together. It was a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing, and maybe that’s all it was meant to be. If we had done this the right way, we wouldn’t be all over the place not even a day into the relationship.I look back at him. He looks like he feels real shitty, so I’ll let it be.He was jealous. I get jealous too. But it’d be great if he didn’t say hurtful things while at it.“Let’s go look for the others,” I say, sticking my hands in my jacket
Last Updated : 2024-01-08Forever Jude 6. Cool Boyfriend
Isaac goes back to his friends after I assure him I’ll be okay. When we part, I go down to the beach. I take a deep breath and then release it once I get far away from the activity. The air is cool and salty. After a few drags, I feel better. I look back towards the mansion, a knot forming in my stomach. Fine, Jude was an ass. But does it have to be like this? I don’t enjoy being mad at him, and I don’t want this night to keep on this way. I’ve waited so long for this to waste the time we have together like this.He looked really contrite and he regretted the words as soon as he said them. He didn’t say sorry only to placate me or to get back on my good side. He really meant it. I know him–it’s all I’ve been doing the past couple of years, getting to know him on a level I never did when hearts were crowding my eyes and dopamine pumping through my veins–and I know he was being sincere.Now I feel horrible for making such a big deal out of this. How can we make this work if every li
Last Updated : 2024-01-08Forever Jude 7. A Little Badass
On New Year’s day, Jude and I are on the road, heading for his grandparents’. This is the first time I’ll be spending any time around Jude’s family. Over the years, he has gotten quite close with mine. Whenever he is back home, he has to come by at least once. But I’ve never been to his house. And here I am, going to spend two days and nights with his extended family.“How are they?” I ask as we get closer to our destination. We passed the last town about ten minutes ago and there’s nothing out here but forest and farmland. I’ve rolled my window down to enjoy the fresh countryside breeze on my face.“My family?” he asks, looking away from the mostly empty road for a second and at me. “I have no idea. Though I have to warn you, I remember one of my cousins to be a pain in the ass. He got along with Jared when we were younger.”I arch an eyebrow. “Birds of a feather?”Jude’s older brother bullied him when they were younger.Jude nods.“Maybe he has changed,” I say. “I mean, look at you
Last Updated : 2024-01-08
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Forever Jude 44. Will You?
Jude’s POV“No,” I say, reaching out and wiping her tears away. Cole’s right. I’m an asshole. Shithead. Dumbass. As if I haven’t made her cry enough times. After everything I’ve put her through, I should spend the rest of my life making up for it by making her smile every single day. Instead, I go and do this.Her eyes fall shut, and her body trembles as she takes a deep breath. I jump to action, pulling the comforter over her.“What are you doing?” she asks, confusion palpable in her voice. Her eyes remain closed.“I don’t want you to be cold.” I sound lame even to myself.Her throat moves as she swallows. Her eyes open and stare right into mine. They are shiny with tears but lacking their usual brightness. “Do you hate me?”I blink. What? Why would she–Yeah, right, buddy. Why would she ask that? Can’t possibly think of any reason.So it isn’t working for you?No.Like a bona fide idiot.“No.”“Then why…” she trails off and lifts her hand to her face. She covers her eyes, but I can
Forever Jude 43. On the Outside
Jude’s POVTen minutes, fifteen seconds.That’s how long it’s been since she left.She must be gone by now, right?It’s too late to go after her.How fast can I get a boat, and how fast can I get to the mainland? Maybe they’ll be delayed before leaving on the plane. Maybe the plane needed refuelling, or is awaiting clearance.It’s only been ten…eleven minutes. I can catch up. I can catch up and take back every stupid thing I just said.God, what the fuck is wrong with me?Everything.I groan and bump my forehead against the window. That was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do. It was the–A knock on the door interrupts my mantra. I straighten instantly, my heavy heart racing. That’s her, right? She is back to give me a piece of her mind. She is not the kind to walk away without a word.I race to the door like I didn’t tell her to basically get out of my life twelve minutes ago. I open the door.My excitement dies the moment I see Cole’s face.What is he doing here? Did
Forever Jude 42. Living in a Dream
An hour later, we are in the plane, taking off. It’s a forty five minute flight to the coast, then we’ll take a boat to the island where they are filming.Fortunately, it’s such a small island that it only has three hotels. The second hotel that I called asking to leave a message turned out to be the one he’s staying at. I’ll figure out how to get to him when we get there. “So, he told you about Claire?” Cole asks me after takeoff.“Not much,” I say. “We ran into her at a hotel at the coast three months ago. He told me they have history.” “I can’t believe he has been working with her all this time,” Cole says.“What happened back then?” I ask him. The fact that Cole agreed with the necessity of this impromptu trip means he agrees with me that an inebriated Jude cannot be left alone with Claire. Jude insisted that Claire did not take advantage of him, but if Cole’s reaction is anything to go by, I must have been right. “I don’t think it’s my story to tell,” he says.“Did he swear y
Forever Jude 41. I'll Take Care of Him
“Nothing!” I blurt out, turning around to face Jude. He is standing in the doorway, his gaze switching from me to Cole. Shit. Did I not close the door? How long has he been standing there?Jude’s brows pull together. “Are you talking about Brent Harvey?”“What? No!” I deny. “We were just…just–”“You were,” he says, his eyes narrowing. He walks into the room. He gestures to his phone and addresses Cole. “Did you do this?”“No,” Cole says.“But you know who did.”Cole shrugs. “Maybe.”Looks like we are both terrible liars. At least I tried.“And what does it have to do with Jo?”“Nothing,” I say.Jude looks at me. “Is that so? What business does Cole have with him that has nothing to do with you?”I cross my arms over my chest. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”“What doesn’t matter anymore?” Jude asks.“He was an asshole to her, and I taught him a lesson, that’s all,” Cole says.“A lesson,” Jude deadpans. “He might never play ball again.”“What do you care?” Cole asks. “Are you a fan?” Jude
Forever Jude 40. The Wrong Woman
I want Cole to keep driving and driving until we are as far away from here as possible, but he pulls over barely a minute later.I can’t even tell him to keep going because I’m crying too hard to form words. He brings the car to a complete stop, which makes my sobs the only thing either of us can hear. I tried really hard to not cry, but once the tears started flowing, there was no going back. The little strength I was using to hold myself together turned out to be nothing compared to the emotions that hit me as soon as I was in the safe cocoon of the car.I’m hiding my face behind a tissue I plucked earlier, not wanting to face Cole.“Jo, what happened?” Cole asks, his voice tense and full of concern.I shake my head. There’s a throb at the back of my head from where I hit the floor earlier, and my cheek is stinging with pain. The hand he grabbed isn’t working too well either. I can’t squeeze it right when I try to blow my nose.I discard that tissue and press my palms to my face. C
Forever Jude 39. Just Drive
Someone steps forward and offers to take Brent’s coat. I use the chance to look for an escape route. I spy a crowd of people milling around a room to the right. Other guests emerge or disappear through an opening to the left.“You look very beautiful tonight,” Brent’s voice draws my attention back to him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress before.”“Well, a tracksuit is hardly suitable for the occasion,” I say, forcing a smile onto my lips. I need someone to show up right now and steal his attention. I’m quite sure a lot of people will be all over him tonight, so can they hurry up?When I mentioned the invitation to Jude, he was worried about me running into Brent. But Brent took my job rejection well, and I did not think that would be an issue. Besides, we are in a house full of people. It’s the ideal setting to firmly turn him down if he brings it up.“No, it’s not,” he agrees, taking a step forward. He extends his hand, intending to touch me again. I step back just in ti
Forever Jude 38. If You
“Jo, let me go.”I shake my head and squeeze my arms tighter around Jude’s middle, fighting against his attempt to remove them. “No.”“Do you want me to miss my flight?” he asks.“Yes. That’s exactly what I want,” I reply. “You are not going anywhere.”“I’m fine, I swear.”I shake my head. “You are not.”The last thing I expected when I woke up this morning was to find Jude getting ready to leave for work. He was in a daze when we got back to the condo last night. In bed, he tossed and turned all night. I was too worried to sleep, but the fatigue caught up with me around four in the morning. Thank heavens I woke up when I did because I would have lost my shit if he’d been gone.“I know what happened last night must have been scary,” he starts.I huff. “You think?”“But it’s perfectly normal,” he continues.Yeah, and he must be out of his mind.“I mean it was a perfectly normal reaction to that kind of thing rushing into my brain out of nowhere,” he adds. “It blindsided me. T-boned m
Forever Jude 37. Good Enough
“Hey, have you see this boy around here?” Jude asks the owner of one of the only two stores still open at the local shopping centre.The man looks at the photo of Rico on Jude’s phone and shakes his head. “No.”Jude nods and puts his phone away. “Alright, thanks.”We move towards the exit of the shop and stop under the eave because it’s suddenly raining. As if this night couldn’t get any shittier. Where do we look next? Between us, the police, and a couple of Rico’s neighbours who volunteered, we’ve searched the entire neighbourhood. If Rico was anywhere nearby, someone should have spotted him by now. Jude sighs heavily, his breath condensing in the night air. “What, now?”I shove my hands in my jacket pockets and try to think of somewhere we should check but haven’t yet. Nothing comes to mind. We’ve been to every public place we could be. The only alternative now is to broaden the scope of our search area. When we started this search, I was optimistic that we would soon find Rico
Forever Jude 36. Cheesy, creamy?
Back to Jo’s POV“This means you are not working with him anymore, right?”I look up from the container I’m filling with leftover food and over at Jude, who’s standing in front of the TV holding the remote. “What?”He gestures to the screen with the remote. “Him.”My eyes rise to the screen, where footage of Brent Harvey from today’s game is playing. It was his first game back after his injury, and he performed quite well. “Um,” I mumble, switching my eyes back to the container. When I turn to stow it in the refrigerator, I say, “I might still be.”Might? I’ve already accepted the offer, it’s just that I’ve not signed a contract yet.And yes. I haven’t mentioned it to Jude yet. “What?” he asks, his voice full of confusion. “He’s fully recovered, right?”I turn back around to find him raising his brow at me. “Yes. But he offered me to become his full-time personal trainer.”That brow raises further. “What?”“I accepted.”“Why would you do that? You said you would only work with him f
