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40. Ask Help
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Flawless Love 41. Go Through
Bella hadn't figured out how to talk to Dad yet. But this morning when Aunt hadn't come yet, Mom worked and Jennie went to school, Dad was standing in front of Bella's room. Bella was very surprised, how could Father come. Just last night Bella and Jennie talked about Dad. Could it be that Jennie who asked Dad? But Jennie couldn't do that because Bella had forbidden Jennie not to intervene."How came? Father here now. Or Mother who wanted..." Bella couldn't think straight.It's past 8 o'clock Auntie hasn't come yet, it's not usually late. Bella was getting annoyed waiting. She hoped Auntie would come as soon as possible.“What am I thinking?! Maybe I don't want to be alone with Father." Bella wondered to herself, doubting it.Again Bella tried to run away. But this atmosphere really made her uncomfortable. Father sat in the chair right beside Bella's bed, still not making a sound.10 minutes passed, still the same silence. Neither Bella nor Dad, no one spoke
Flawless Love 42. Bottom Of Heart
"What would Bella want to say if this was your last day alive?"“I want to be a good child beyond expectations. I make sure to always study hard, be kind, and independent, to take care of Jennie. Anything that can make Mom be pleased, I'll do. But all this time I felt so lonely, I felt I had no place to share.”“I hate empty houses, without anyone present to greet me when I return. On that lonely day, I began to hope for a normal life, wanting to be an ordinary child like others. Not an extraordinary child for Mom to be proud of and Dad to turn look to me. But since I promised Mother, I can't do that. I'm stuck with my promise to Mom."“I'm sorry for not being able to live up to Mother's expectations. I'm sorry that I disappointed you and made you feel hurt by all the things I've done. I'm sorry I didn't take good care of Jennie. I'm sorry for being born like this if that's the reason why Mom and Dad separated because of my existence. I'm sorry, Mom..."“On that
Flawless Love 43. Rescue Rope
Jennie came closer to occupy where Mom was sitting earlier. Jennie also wanted to say something to Bella, which she probably should have said a long time ago."I'm sorry Sis...""What for?" Bella couldn't remember Jennie doing something that deserved to be forgiven.“To make you always burdened with a sense of responsibility towards me.”"No Jenny, it's not like that..""I know.. But let me say it." Jennie looks very serious right now."For me, no one is important, all the same. Father, Mother, you are equally important to me. I can't choose which one of you is most important and which is not. If there is someone who makes me choose then that person is the bad one.”What was the meaning of what Jennie was trying to convey to Bella. For a moment Bella felt that she was being gently offended by Jennie's words. Because for Bella the most important thing in her life is Mother.“But if you have someone very important, no one has the right to forbid yo
Flawless Love 44. Familiar Thing
Bella has been very busy lately. After Dad came, now her classmates. She did not expect that they would come to visit. Bella was very happy but it didn't have to be like this either.Bella felt that her patient room was louder than the other rooms. She was afraid to disturb the peace of the other patients. Really wished her friends could calm down. She had told but was outnumbered in the voice. Bella could feel in an instant her patient room had turned into their classroom."Isn't the number of people visiting limited? Then how come there are so many people in my nursing room?” Her classmates did not listen to Bella's words at all. Bella's patient room had been rummaged. They act as if this is a study tour, a visit to the hospital. Due to unfavorable circumstances, Bella sent Jennie home early. Jennie can go back to the hospital again later that night with Mom. After Jennie left, Bella's close friends immediately attacked Bella with private conversations."Bell
Flawless Love 45. Someone Special
Alec walked over, then sat down on the side of Bella's patient bed. Events that felt very familiar to her. Don't know how many people have sat like this beside her and she just sat helplessly on the patient's bed.Alec hands Bella a book of ancient literature. What she really wanted to read the book in the past, but because it was an old book it was very difficult to find. Bella wanted to read it so much that she went to the library in another area which was quite far away and looked at a used bookstore."Where did you get this book from?" After all, it was a story from a long time ago, at the start of their second year of school.“From a senior, I knew in training.”Actually, Alec wanted to give the book to Bella as soon as he came back from training but the timing wasn't right and things happened. So all this time Alec has kept it and only now can give it to her.To be honest, Bella had read and had a similar one at home, but she didn't tell. Even though i
Flawless Love 46. Take It Slowly
Bella wanted to believe that feeling still lingered in Alec's heart. She will be very grateful that his love is still the same till this moment. Bella wants him to always be by her side, helping and looking after her. Can Bella treat Alec's wound that she has made herself? Is there still a second chance for her?The touch of Alec that she had longed for. Bella's eyes could not help the gaze of the eyes in front of her. Bella could see the seriousness in Alec's eyes, making her unable to take her eyes off Alec's gaze."From now on say what you feel, you think. You are not alone, don't think like that. I'll listen to it if you want it. I will be by your side like now.”Bella resignedly fell into Alec's arms, the tears flowed again. "Thank you, Alec. I will try, this time for sure.”Bella couldn't control this feeling. Alec who was by her side, holding her hand, really felt real. Bella didn't want to lose the grip of this warm hand again."I can't go on without
Flawless Love 47. Stranger Boy's
Bella was almost two weeks here, the atmosphere and the scenery around the hospital were familiar to her now. Unexpectedly Bella could feel lost like this. Even so but sorry Bella didn't want to be here any longer.All her things have been cleaned up, and now she waiting for Mother to come to pick them up. Auntie was conversing with the patient in the next room, she was close and familiar with the other patients here. While accompanying Bella, in her free time Aunt to does whatever she wants so doesn't feel bored all day looking after Bella and stays in the hospital. Bella was happy to see that but couldn't get along like Aunt, because they were different people.Bella just realized someone was watching her. The door of her bedroom was indeed open. That person as soon as realized that Bella was staring looking in the direction, the little face was hiding behind the outer wall of the room. Avoided Bella, probably afraid of being scolded for being caught peeking.Bell
Flawless Love 48. Another Story
On the way back to the house, Bella remembered her conversation with Dr. Hardy. Doctor Hardy told her a little story about Ricky. Bella didn't ask but also didn't mind listening because at least she was curious about the child. With the look in his eyes, Bella felt something. But still don't know what happened to the little boyRicky is a long-time patient at the hospital. Three years ago Ricky was brought to this hospital as an emergency patient due to a traffic accident. Ricky's parents died instantly in an accident.Now Ricky lives with a distant relative who adopted him as a guardian. A husband and wife who are kind and care to him. Ricky is easy to approach but hard to understand. Due to an accident and the loss of his parents at such a small age, Ricky was shocked and traumatized. Emotions are unstable.Sometimes Ricky cries loudly, throws a tantrum, or has seizures for no apparent reason. The situation was enough to bother the people around him. Every day the
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Flawless Love 63. Happiness
Bella and Alec have an appointment today. Coincidentally, their university announced it on the same day. Bella will go to university first to see the results, then go to high school to meet Alec.Bella's heart was beating fast, this was the same as when she announced the results of passing the exams at school. She pulled herself together and took a deep breath. Following the rhythmic heartbeat, feeling it with every breath.Bella's eyes followed each row of names on the sheets of paper posted on the bulletin board until her eyes finally found her name written there. Bella confirmed repeatedly that it was Bella's name and that she had been accepted."I did it!!"Not just stopping, Bella went back to reading looking for anyone from her school who was also accepted there, especially the names of her classmates. Some were accepted but they weren't the names of Bella's classmates. What can she do, hopes that her friends will be accepted at another university.Bel
Flawless Love 62. The Dream
Bella has also discussed dreams and aspirations with her friends. At that time Bella did not have any goals or dreams for the future. Every time that topic came up it would be a dilemma for her. At that time Bella will be more of a listener.“My wish is to leave the urban noise and live in the village. I want to live simply and enjoy the time.” Wendy's confession about her dream.“Indeed in the city, you can not do that. Live simply and enjoy your time.” Bella said."Can't at all. In the city, everything looks busy and time flies very fast. I want to enjoy my life for a long time.”“For me, I want to have a steady, stable, and guaranteed job in old age. In other words, civil servants." Bella said."Your dream is very simple." Wendy's comments."How about you Santy?" Bella asked."I? Hmm... I want to married young, had children, and lived happily together forever. Like my parents.""You don't want to have a career?" Bella is worried that her frien
Flawless Love 61. Next Stage
Bella is still keeping the field of study she chose a secret when she applied to university. Bella had planned from the start that she would tell Mother if the chances of her being accepted were close to perfect. She has taken the entrance test but still hasn't received the results of the decision on whether she passes or not.From the entrance test that she took yesterday, Bella was actually able to predict and calculate the results. But her little heart said anything could happen, so Bella didn't want to be consumed by the confidence that could make her fall because of arrogance.What Bella wanted to say to Mom after the result announcement was in her hands. But to do that Bella still had to wait for another two weeks. Meanwhile, Mom and Jennie have been urging her to talk since Bella's graduation."Sis, you would tell me now or later what's the difference? What are you afraid of? Will Mother and I mock you if fail?!”"Don't say failure easily like that Jennie
Flawless Love 60. The Graduation
A few months later.Today is Bella's last day as a high school student. Her last day at school, her last with friends. Today felt like an ordinary day as they were currently here still hanging out together as usual.Stay busy, laugh, and joke together with a cheerful atmosphere full of joy everywhere. Bella's classmates continue to do meaningless silliness. They also do not spare work for teachers.The graduation ceremony begins soon. The attendees of the ceremony, including the principal, teachers, school staff, parents, as well as third-grade students, and Bella, the main character who will be inaugurated after graduating from high school for three years, entered the event room today.A series of events ran smoothly until the speeches of the graduating students, where Bella was the representative. She had prepared this very well because Bella represented all the students who graduated today. She wants to convey well all the messages as well as the feelings of
Flawless Love 59. Puzzle Pieces
During the exam period last few weeks Bella was unable to attend therapy sessions with Dr. Diane. This is their first meeting after spending a few weeks.Bella couldn't wait for it because she wanted to immediately share a story with Dr. Diane about her meeting and conversation with Dad that went very smoothly the last time. Also, she has some questions for Dr. Diane.What Bella didn't understand in her memory was that she had hated the shadows of the past. Memories of bad things in the past are etched clearly in the fragments of memories that she has. Memories that Bella wanted to forget and bury deep, at any cost until she almost lost her life.Now Bella was wondering why after meeting and talking with Dad, she could easily accept all of Dad's explanations. The anger, hatred, and disappointment that she had always believed she had for Dad vanished like air.Bella begins to doubt her childhood memories, whether the fragments of memories recorded and stored so f
Flawless Love 58. Volunteer
On the first day, Bella went to volunteer, Mrs. Rita's words crossed her mind. On the day Mrs. Rita delivered the information she promised, she said to Bella. "Your personal opinion would be very suitable to do this volunteer activity, Bella."Mrs. Rita handed over a pamphlet about an invitation to volunteer from a social institution.“I have more or less heard about what happened to you. Of course, only a few people from the school know about this, I can guarantee that.”Bella never really told her friends the real reason behind her absence from school. What her friends know is that Bella is seriously ill and has to be hospitalized.“You will learn more about the PFA. Moreover, I feel that you will be able to empathize sincerely from your heart. Because after all, you've been in the same situation.”Mrs. Rita smiled warmly. “If you can overcome it, then you are also able to help others. Understand their condition and situation.”To hear honest comments
Flawless Love 57. Overflowing
Bella was still awake but Mother didn't notice because she was sleeping facing the other way from the bedroom door. Bella used to sleep with the bedroom lights turned off. Mother thought she was fast asleep.Unlike usual, Mom usually only came to Bella's door to look and then left. Mother stepped in and sat down beside Bella's bed. Bella could feel the soft caress of her hair, but she still intends to sleep accompanied by a soft, loving caress from Mother. Then she started to hear Mother sobbing."Why is Mom crying?" Though Bella hesitated between pretending to be asleep or turning to look at Mom.Mom wouldn't want Bella to see her cry. But Bella couldn't help herself because she really couldn't stand to see Mother cry. Every drop of Mother's tears felt heavy for her, especially if the tears fell because of her."Mother... Why? What happens? Did Mom cry because of me?" Bella thought."Mother..." Called Bella turned to look at her."Oh Bella, I'm sorry I
Flawless Love 56. Who He Is?
Alec walked out of Bella's house. The original plan that was supposed to go with his girlfriend was finally canceled. Alec has free time that makes him confused about how he should spend it. Alec didn't want to stay with Bella for long, thus preventing her from resting."Brother Alec, you here. Didn't you go with Sister?" Asked Jennie who passed in front of the house with Alec."Yeah, your sister doesn't feel well. But she's fine, don't worry.""Thank you for taking care of my sister, Brother."Jennie had never spoken directly to either Alec or Bella about how happy she was to hear that they were back together. But before that happened Jennie always felt sure they couldn't let go of each other.Alec smiled. "I have to go now..."“Be careful on the road. Ah! Big brother waits—" Jennie stopped Alec from leaving.Alec stopped walking and turned to look at Jennie again. "Yes, why?""That, umm I..." Jennie looked doubtful."What is it? Just say it
Flawless Love 55. Tough
Someone told Bella that Mrs. Rita was waiting for her in the counseling room. Now Bella doesn't have to worry about meeting Madam Rita. She had time to discuss with Dr. Diane about her counseling teacher.Doctor Diane tells Bella many things and opens her narrow-minded about the world and the work of a psychologist. Doctor Diane explained as if she really understood Mrs. Rita even though they didn't know each other and had never met before.Bella wants to apologize for all her actions and bad attitude so far. As Dr. Diane said, Bella misjudged Mrs. Rita, unable to understand her good intentions in wanting to help Bella. Only the approach of Dr. Diane and Madam Rita is different, it is very clear because they are different people too."Sorry for my attitude all this time Ma'am, and thank you for never giving up on me," Bella said, looking down in shame."I'm okay Bella, I accept your apology." Mrs. Rita smiled while drinking her hot tea.Bella and Mrs. Rita's
