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Dying to Love You
Last Updated : 2025-04-18
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Synopsis
First Love
First-Person POV
Teenager
Badboy
Secret Love
Misunderstanding
Goodgirl
Tragedy
Contemporary
"Samantha," he murmured, pulling back just enough to look into my eyes. "What are we doing?" "Item seven.." I whispered, trying for lightness but hearing the tremor in my voice. "Crossing it off the list." ~ Fresh out of high school, Samantha knows two truths: she's madly in love with her best friend Rafael, and she'll never live to see him graduate college. So she creates a bucket list, determined to experience everything life offers, especially the taste of his kiss, before her secret claims her last breath. But time is quickly running out.... will she make it out alive?
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Dying to Love You 56 ~ Won't Be Alone
She led me back to her apartment. bMay took one look at us and wordlessly made breakfast, setting a plate of eggs and toast in front of me that I managed to choke down only because Sam watched me with worried eyes. After, Sam drew me a shower and gave me one of the t shirts I'd left at their place. Clean, fed, but still hollowed out, I finally let her lead me to her bedroom. She pulled me down beside her on the narrow bed, tucking herself against me like she'd done countless times, her head on my chest, arm draped across my waist. "Talk when you're ready," she murmured. "Or don't. I'm here either way." That's when it hit me, the full, crushing reality. My father was dead. By his own hand. The last words he'd ever write to me were on that pathetic fucking note, as inadequate as every conversation we'd never had.... "He didn't even say he loved me" I whispered, the words ripping from me like they were barbed. "Nineteen years, and he couldn't even write that he loved me in his fu
Last Updated : 2025-04-18Dying to Love You 55 ~ Dead
RAFAEL ~I knew something was wrong the moment I stepped into the house. it was too quiet, too still — like walking into a tomb. Dad's Black Audi was in the driveway, which was already weird. He wasn't supposed to be back from his Tokyo trip until next week."Dad...?" I called out, dropping my backpack by the door. No answer.The kitchen was empty, pristine as always since no one actually cooked in it. A half-empty glass of whiskey sat on the counter, Dad's usual, Macallan 18, the expensive shit he said was the only thing worth drinking. Next to it was an envelope with my name scrawled across it in his precise handwriting.My stomach dropped."Dad?!?" I called again, louder this time.I grabbed the envelope, tearing it open as I moved through the house. The note inside was brief, typical of a man who'd spent my entire life saying as little as possible to me.[ Rafael,I'm sorry for this. The life insurance policy will provide for you. Don't make my mistakes. Your mother would have d
Last Updated : 2025-04-17Dying to Love You 54 ~ Stay With Me
Rafael was more protective, yes, but also more present. He'd taken to studying my medications, researching CF treatments late into the night, accompanying me to doctor appointments. Sometimes I caught him watching me with an intensity that stole my breath, memorizing me, I realized, for the day when memories would be all he had left.The physical aspect of our relationship had evolved too. Where before there had been playful exploration, now there was often a desperate edge to our lovemaking, as if we could somehow outrun death by losing ourselves in each other."Done." Rafael announced, hitting submit on the final application. "Five schools. You happy now?""Ecstatic." I said, meaning it. "You're going to get in everywhere.""Maybe." He pulled me onto his lap, nuzzling my neck. "Now can we please do something more interesting than college essays?"I laughed, though it triggered a small cough. "Such as?"His hands slid under my tshirt, warm against my skin. "I have a few ideas."Th
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 53 ~ Tell Me
He paced the small living room like a caged animal. "Two years. Jesus Christ Sam." "Maybe longer with the clinical trial!" I offered, desperate for any hope to give him. "The one Marcus mentioned. I called him yesterday —" "Ohh, you called Marcus. That's fucking great." The jealousy in his tone was unexpected. "Planning your medical future with your bookstore boyfriend?" "He's not, it's not like that. He's a pharmaceutical rep whose cousin died of CF. He's trying to help." "By taking pictures of your medical records? Some help ." I sighed, too tired for this particular fight. "Can we not do this right now? Please? I've told you the truth. If you want to walk away, I understand. You didn't sign up for this." Rafael stopped pacing abruptly. "Walk away? Is that what you think I'm going to do?" "It's what most people would do," I said quietly. "It's what I'd understand if you did." "Then you don't know me at all." He dropped to his knees in front of me, taking my hands in his. "I'
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 52 ~ Before 21
Three days after the bakery confrontation, Rafael came back.I was sitting on the fire escape outside my bedroom window, my thinking spot since childhood, when Persephone's distinctive rumble cut through the evening quiet. My heart leapt into my throat even as I told myself not to hope. He could be visiting May, collecting things he'd left at our apartment, or a dozen other reasons that didn't involve forgiving me.I watched him park, remove his helmet, and sit on his bike for a long moment, head bowed as if gathering courage.When he finally looked up, his eyes found me immediately, as if he'd known exactly where I'd be.The summer heat pressed down like a physical weight as I climbed back through my window, each movement measured and careful to avoid triggering a coughing fit. My lungs felt heavy, congested with the mucus that was my constant companion, worsened by three days of crying. I'd started the antibiotics Dr Aaron prescribed after my latest lung culture showed an infectio
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 51 ~ Tears
The hurt in his voice gutted me. " I— I was going to tell you..." I whispered. "I just needed more time.""More time," he repeated bitterly. "While you're out here making bucket lists and living like you're dying because you actually are dying. Jesus Christ Sam."May stepped forward, her protective instincts kicking in. "That's enough, Rafael. She doesn't need this stress right now.""Oh I'm sorry," he spat, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Am I making her condition worse? Maybe if someone had fucking told me about her condition, I'd know what to avoid!"Marcus had recovered enough to stand straight, though blood trickled from his split lip. "I think I should go," he said, edging toward the door. "Sam, we can discuss the trial when things are calmer.""You're not discussing anything with her," Rafael snarled. "You stay the fuck away from her.""That's not your decision to make," Marcus replied coolly. "Sam's an adult. She can choose her own medical options."Rafael lunged again, but thi
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 50 ~ Disbelief
I felt sick, caught between rage at the violation and a desperate need to believe him. "So all those visits to the bakery, the books, the interest in me, that was just you scoping out a lab rat?""No," he insisted, looking genuinely offended. "My interest in the bakery and in you as a person is genuine. I approached your case differently because I..""Because what?" I prompted when he trailed off."Because I know what it's like to watch CF take someone you love." he admitted. "My cousin died two years ago. She was twenty-six."The shared detail from our earlier hospital conversation clicked into place. His cousin hadn't just had CF—she'd died from it."That doesn't excuse going behind my back," I said, though some of the heat had left my voice."You're right. It doesn't." He stepped back, giving me space. "But I'm not sorry for trying to help. This treatment could change everything for you, Sam."The door chime from the front of the bakery interrupted us. "Sam? You here?" May's voice
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 49 ~ Explain
SAMANTHA~The bakery was quiet on Thursday afternoons. May had implemented half-day closing months ago when she realized we barely broke even on weekday afternoons, making it the perfect time to catch up on paperwork, prep for the next day, or just enjoy the rare peace.Today, I was alone. May had a dentist appointment, and I'd volunteered to handle the inventory and ordering. Rafael was working overtime at the garage, trying to save money for the motorcycle part he'd been eyeing for weeks. I didn't mind the solitude. After the intensity of the past few weeks, completing bucket list items, falling into bed with Rafael every chance we got. A few hours of quiet felt like a necessary reset.Midnight had followed me to work, as he often did now that May had reluctantly allowed him inside the bakery after hours. He lounged on the windowsill, watching me with half lidded yellow eyes as I counted bags of flour."Don't judge me for being responsible," I told him, marking numbers on my cli
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 48 ~ Quiet Solace
"Sam, I'm — " The warning died in my throat as she doubled her efforts, determined to follow through. My back arched off the bed as release slammed into me, white-hot and all-consuming. She stayed with me through the aftershocks, gentling her movements until I trembled from oversensitivity.When she finally pulled away, lips glistening and hair in disarray, she looked up at me with a mix of pride and uncertainty. "Was that..?"I dragged her up my body before she could finish the question, kissing her deeply. She made a surprised sound but melted into it, the taste of myself on her tongue somehow erotic rather than strange."Fucking perfect," I murmured against her mouth. My hands shook as they roamed her body, eager to return the favor. "Now let me show you..."Afterward, we lay tangled together in her narrow bed, the afternoon sun casting golden light across her skin. I traced the freckles on her shoulder, connecting them into imaginary constellations."What are you thinking about?"
Last Updated : 2025-03-25
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1 ~ Graduation
SAMANTHA~The polyester graduation gown felt like sandpaper against my skin as I shifted uncomfortably behind the podium. My chest tightened, the familiar herald of an oncoming cough, but I swallowed it down. Not now. Not during my valedictorian speech. "As we stand at the threshold of our futures," I continued, scanning the crowd of my classmates, their faces a blur of anticipation and boredom, "we carry with us not just the knowledge imparted by our teachers, but the memories we've created together." My gaze found Rafael in the third row, his dark eyes meeting mine with that familiar sardonic lift of his eyebrow. Even in the shapeless graduation gown, he managed to look dangerous, all sharp angles and barely contained energy. His mortarboard sat crookedly on his mess of black hair, like he'd thrown it on as an afterthought. Which he probably had. I'd had to practically drag him to the ceremony. "It's just a piece of paper Sunny," he'd said, using the nickname only he was allow...
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