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36. Something Starts
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Flawless Love 37. Circumstances
That night Bella again experienced a crisis accompanied by body heat that rose again. The medics immediately took action by giving a sedative injection. The symptoms were resolved before Bella lost consciousness. She remained awake until Mom came with Jennie.Bella didn't know what was happening to her, why her body was showing a reaction she didn't understand, what had brought her to the hospital again. Bella asks Mom but her mother looks like wants to cover up.“What did you talk about with Dr. Diane this afternoon? Why are you guys talking outside, can't I hear it?" Bella felt anxious for no reason."The one who knows my condition better is myself, I have the right to know too." Bella wanted Mom to be honest even once."Before that Bella, why are you hiding anything else from me. How long are you going to be like this?”Mom showed the medicine that was supposed to be safe in Bella's room in hiding."I beg you.. Bella.. I want everything to pass soon."
Flawless Love 38. Loses Control
Jennie was already there when Bella returned to the room. It was time for her to take medicine. Due to the crisis reaction of Bella's illness, she has to take several types of medication regularly. Bella felt completely sick. Her weight was getting thinner and her face was pale. The signs of life were fading on Bella's face which she watched through the mirror. She felt like a patient with a serious illness. Being in the hospital only made Bella's thoughts even more pessimistic.Going crazy and losing consciousness is the same as dying. Or did someone say that it is better to lose consciousness to be insane than to die. All Bella did while here was just stare at the outside world through the window from her patient bed. Even if Bella's world stops right now, the outside world will continue as usual. No, she said that not because wanted to die like she did last time."Sister," Jenny called. Silence. Bella remained silent."BIG SISTER!""I can hear your voice, Jen
Flawless Love 39. Be Honest
In the past, there was only one call from Father to Bella, as parents and daughter didn't talk much because there really wasn't anything to talk about. Bella herself didn't really blame Dad, because Bella didn't expect anything from him. She already knew it would be like this.But seeing Jennie who cares so much and fights for Bella's rights. The right as a child who needs attention and is entitled to affection from his biological father. Made Bella think, why did Jennie fight for Bella's rights like that, while Bella didn't make any efforts.Bella was always lying to herself, constantly avoiding this feeling. To be honest, the thoughts never left about her father. Bella wanted Dad to see her, come to her, and ask how she was. It turned out to be true, if there was no desire to meet even if the child and father were, then they could not meet. If Bella wants to meet Dad then can they meet, without the same desire from Dad to meet her?Bella wanted to know why Dad did
Flawless Love 40. Ask Help
From Aunt's statement yesterday, Bella showed signs of refusal to eat. Her condition has indeed decreased since had a therapy session with Dr. Hardy. Jennie didn't know what the two of them were talking about, but since returning from that session Bella seemed to have a lot on her mind. Her face was darker than before she went to see Dr. Hardy.“Sis, I'm coming... Today you can eat as usual, right? If not I'll find other food or something easy for you to digest." Jennie was fussy when she entered Bella's room.“Why are you back from school already? Today should be the schedule for club activities at school.” Bella is learning to be independent on her patient bed."I left because I feel unwell.""If that's your reason, you should be resting at home instead of coming here.""It's better here, if something happens I can be treated quickly.""Exactly! It's a hospital here, so nothing will happen to me. You shouldn't be skipping club training like this."
Flawless Love 41. Go Through
Bella hadn't figured out how to talk to Dad yet. But this morning when Aunt hadn't come yet, Mom worked and Jennie went to school, Dad was standing in front of Bella's room. Bella was very surprised, how could Father come. Just last night Bella and Jennie talked about Dad. Could it be that Jennie who asked Dad? But Jennie couldn't do that because Bella had forbidden Jennie not to intervene."How came? Father here now. Or Mother who wanted..." Bella couldn't think straight.It's past 8 o'clock Auntie hasn't come yet, it's not usually late. Bella was getting annoyed waiting. She hoped Auntie would come as soon as possible.“What am I thinking?! Maybe I don't want to be alone with Father." Bella wondered to herself, doubting it.Again Bella tried to run away. But this atmosphere really made her uncomfortable. Father sat in the chair right beside Bella's bed, still not making a sound.10 minutes passed, still the same silence. Neither Bella nor Dad, no one spoke
Flawless Love 42. Bottom Of Heart
"What would Bella want to say if this was your last day alive?"“I want to be a good child beyond expectations. I make sure to always study hard, be kind, and independent, to take care of Jennie. Anything that can make Mom be pleased, I'll do. But all this time I felt so lonely, I felt I had no place to share.”“I hate empty houses, without anyone present to greet me when I return. On that lonely day, I began to hope for a normal life, wanting to be an ordinary child like others. Not an extraordinary child for Mom to be proud of and Dad to turn look to me. But since I promised Mother, I can't do that. I'm stuck with my promise to Mom."“I'm sorry for not being able to live up to Mother's expectations. I'm sorry that I disappointed you and made you feel hurt by all the things I've done. I'm sorry I didn't take good care of Jennie. I'm sorry for being born like this if that's the reason why Mom and Dad separated because of my existence. I'm sorry, Mom..."“On that
Flawless Love 43. Rescue Rope
Jennie came closer to occupy where Mom was sitting earlier. Jennie also wanted to say something to Bella, which she probably should have said a long time ago."I'm sorry Sis...""What for?" Bella couldn't remember Jennie doing something that deserved to be forgiven.“To make you always burdened with a sense of responsibility towards me.”"No Jenny, it's not like that..""I know.. But let me say it." Jennie looks very serious right now."For me, no one is important, all the same. Father, Mother, you are equally important to me. I can't choose which one of you is most important and which is not. If there is someone who makes me choose then that person is the bad one.”What was the meaning of what Jennie was trying to convey to Bella. For a moment Bella felt that she was being gently offended by Jennie's words. Because for Bella the most important thing in her life is Mother.“But if you have someone very important, no one has the right to forbid yo
Flawless Love 44. Familiar Thing
Bella has been very busy lately. After Dad came, now her classmates. She did not expect that they would come to visit. Bella was very happy but it didn't have to be like this either.Bella felt that her patient room was louder than the other rooms. She was afraid to disturb the peace of the other patients. Really wished her friends could calm down. She had told but was outnumbered in the voice. Bella could feel in an instant her patient room had turned into their classroom."Isn't the number of people visiting limited? Then how come there are so many people in my nursing room?” Her classmates did not listen to Bella's words at all. Bella's patient room had been rummaged. They act as if this is a study tour, a visit to the hospital. Due to unfavorable circumstances, Bella sent Jennie home early. Jennie can go back to the hospital again later that night with Mom. After Jennie left, Bella's close friends immediately attacked Bella with private conversations."Bell
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Flawless Love 63. Happiness
Bella and Alec have an appointment today. Coincidentally, their university announced it on the same day. Bella will go to university first to see the results, then go to high school to meet Alec.Bella's heart was beating fast, this was the same as when she announced the results of passing the exams at school. She pulled herself together and took a deep breath. Following the rhythmic heartbeat, feeling it with every breath.Bella's eyes followed each row of names on the sheets of paper posted on the bulletin board until her eyes finally found her name written there. Bella confirmed repeatedly that it was Bella's name and that she had been accepted."I did it!!"Not just stopping, Bella went back to reading looking for anyone from her school who was also accepted there, especially the names of her classmates. Some were accepted but they weren't the names of Bella's classmates. What can she do, hopes that her friends will be accepted at another university.Bel
Flawless Love 62. The Dream
Bella has also discussed dreams and aspirations with her friends. At that time Bella did not have any goals or dreams for the future. Every time that topic came up it would be a dilemma for her. At that time Bella will be more of a listener.“My wish is to leave the urban noise and live in the village. I want to live simply and enjoy the time.” Wendy's confession about her dream.“Indeed in the city, you can not do that. Live simply and enjoy your time.” Bella said."Can't at all. In the city, everything looks busy and time flies very fast. I want to enjoy my life for a long time.”“For me, I want to have a steady, stable, and guaranteed job in old age. In other words, civil servants." Bella said."Your dream is very simple." Wendy's comments."How about you Santy?" Bella asked."I? Hmm... I want to married young, had children, and lived happily together forever. Like my parents.""You don't want to have a career?" Bella is worried that her frien
Flawless Love 61. Next Stage
Bella is still keeping the field of study she chose a secret when she applied to university. Bella had planned from the start that she would tell Mother if the chances of her being accepted were close to perfect. She has taken the entrance test but still hasn't received the results of the decision on whether she passes or not.From the entrance test that she took yesterday, Bella was actually able to predict and calculate the results. But her little heart said anything could happen, so Bella didn't want to be consumed by the confidence that could make her fall because of arrogance.What Bella wanted to say to Mom after the result announcement was in her hands. But to do that Bella still had to wait for another two weeks. Meanwhile, Mom and Jennie have been urging her to talk since Bella's graduation."Sis, you would tell me now or later what's the difference? What are you afraid of? Will Mother and I mock you if fail?!”"Don't say failure easily like that Jennie
Flawless Love 60. The Graduation
A few months later.Today is Bella's last day as a high school student. Her last day at school, her last with friends. Today felt like an ordinary day as they were currently here still hanging out together as usual.Stay busy, laugh, and joke together with a cheerful atmosphere full of joy everywhere. Bella's classmates continue to do meaningless silliness. They also do not spare work for teachers.The graduation ceremony begins soon. The attendees of the ceremony, including the principal, teachers, school staff, parents, as well as third-grade students, and Bella, the main character who will be inaugurated after graduating from high school for three years, entered the event room today.A series of events ran smoothly until the speeches of the graduating students, where Bella was the representative. She had prepared this very well because Bella represented all the students who graduated today. She wants to convey well all the messages as well as the feelings of
Flawless Love 59. Puzzle Pieces
During the exam period last few weeks Bella was unable to attend therapy sessions with Dr. Diane. This is their first meeting after spending a few weeks.Bella couldn't wait for it because she wanted to immediately share a story with Dr. Diane about her meeting and conversation with Dad that went very smoothly the last time. Also, she has some questions for Dr. Diane.What Bella didn't understand in her memory was that she had hated the shadows of the past. Memories of bad things in the past are etched clearly in the fragments of memories that she has. Memories that Bella wanted to forget and bury deep, at any cost until she almost lost her life.Now Bella was wondering why after meeting and talking with Dad, she could easily accept all of Dad's explanations. The anger, hatred, and disappointment that she had always believed she had for Dad vanished like air.Bella begins to doubt her childhood memories, whether the fragments of memories recorded and stored so f
Flawless Love 58. Volunteer
On the first day, Bella went to volunteer, Mrs. Rita's words crossed her mind. On the day Mrs. Rita delivered the information she promised, she said to Bella. "Your personal opinion would be very suitable to do this volunteer activity, Bella."Mrs. Rita handed over a pamphlet about an invitation to volunteer from a social institution.“I have more or less heard about what happened to you. Of course, only a few people from the school know about this, I can guarantee that.”Bella never really told her friends the real reason behind her absence from school. What her friends know is that Bella is seriously ill and has to be hospitalized.“You will learn more about the PFA. Moreover, I feel that you will be able to empathize sincerely from your heart. Because after all, you've been in the same situation.”Mrs. Rita smiled warmly. “If you can overcome it, then you are also able to help others. Understand their condition and situation.”To hear honest comments
Flawless Love 57. Overflowing
Bella was still awake but Mother didn't notice because she was sleeping facing the other way from the bedroom door. Bella used to sleep with the bedroom lights turned off. Mother thought she was fast asleep.Unlike usual, Mom usually only came to Bella's door to look and then left. Mother stepped in and sat down beside Bella's bed. Bella could feel the soft caress of her hair, but she still intends to sleep accompanied by a soft, loving caress from Mother. Then she started to hear Mother sobbing."Why is Mom crying?" Though Bella hesitated between pretending to be asleep or turning to look at Mom.Mom wouldn't want Bella to see her cry. But Bella couldn't help herself because she really couldn't stand to see Mother cry. Every drop of Mother's tears felt heavy for her, especially if the tears fell because of her."Mother... Why? What happens? Did Mom cry because of me?" Bella thought."Mother..." Called Bella turned to look at her."Oh Bella, I'm sorry I
Flawless Love 56. Who He Is?
Alec walked out of Bella's house. The original plan that was supposed to go with his girlfriend was finally canceled. Alec has free time that makes him confused about how he should spend it. Alec didn't want to stay with Bella for long, thus preventing her from resting."Brother Alec, you here. Didn't you go with Sister?" Asked Jennie who passed in front of the house with Alec."Yeah, your sister doesn't feel well. But she's fine, don't worry.""Thank you for taking care of my sister, Brother."Jennie had never spoken directly to either Alec or Bella about how happy she was to hear that they were back together. But before that happened Jennie always felt sure they couldn't let go of each other.Alec smiled. "I have to go now..."“Be careful on the road. Ah! Big brother waits—" Jennie stopped Alec from leaving.Alec stopped walking and turned to look at Jennie again. "Yes, why?""That, umm I..." Jennie looked doubtful."What is it? Just say it
Flawless Love 55. Tough
Someone told Bella that Mrs. Rita was waiting for her in the counseling room. Now Bella doesn't have to worry about meeting Madam Rita. She had time to discuss with Dr. Diane about her counseling teacher.Doctor Diane tells Bella many things and opens her narrow-minded about the world and the work of a psychologist. Doctor Diane explained as if she really understood Mrs. Rita even though they didn't know each other and had never met before.Bella wants to apologize for all her actions and bad attitude so far. As Dr. Diane said, Bella misjudged Mrs. Rita, unable to understand her good intentions in wanting to help Bella. Only the approach of Dr. Diane and Madam Rita is different, it is very clear because they are different people too."Sorry for my attitude all this time Ma'am, and thank you for never giving up on me," Bella said, looking down in shame."I'm okay Bella, I accept your apology." Mrs. Rita smiled while drinking her hot tea.Bella and Mrs. Rita's
