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Chapter 24
Huling Na-update:
2021-12-09 12:45:10#FD24 || Bethylia Monteamor
After I woke up that day, his familiar scent leaked in the enclosed room. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba iyon sa naiwan niyang mga bakas o sa panaginip kong hindi ko sigurado kung totoong gawa lang ng utak.
I didn't bother going to work that day. Dalawang araw akong nagkulong sa sanang bahay namin at pinag-iisipan ang mga susunod na gagawin.
Ano ba dapat ang ginagawa ko sa mga pagkakataong ganito? Is my silence enough? Is being mute is the right way?
Hindi ko na alam kung paano pa ang gagawin para bumalik sa dati ang lahat.
I was only holding onto one person. Siya lang ang kaya kong kapitan pero pati siya ay tinalikuran ako.
Kaugnay na kabanata
Flawed Desires Chapter 25 (part 1)
#FD25 || Bethylia MonteamorI cried, that's the only thing I could do at this time. Nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa para sa sarili. Maybe this is what my fate's plan.Siguro kulang pa ang lahat ng hirap na naranasan ko noon. Siguro ito ang kapalit ng sandaling kasiyahang ibinigay sa akin ng tadhana noon."Hayop ka, wala kang kwentang tao!" That's what I am repeatedly uttering while he's savouring my body like he's not doing something wrong.If this is my fate, might as well leave this world too. Mukhang may galit naman sa akin ang tadhana dahil puro pagpapahirap lang ang ibinibigay sa akin.I slowly opened my eyes who's filled with tears when I felt something covering my body.Nawala ang bigat ng katawang nasa ibabaw ko at tanging liwanag na ngayo'y nagmumula na sa ilaw ng silid ang nakikita ko.I heard some groans but I can't cocked my head
Huling Na-update : 2021-12-10Flawed Desires Chapter 25 (part 2)
"Are you fucking nuts, Bethyl? Paanong hindi gagawing big deal ang ganoong bagay?"My shoulders fell after hearing his words."Sa palagay mo, Mark. Sino ang magmumukhang masama kung ilalabas ko ang pangyayaring iyon? Sinong magiging katatawanan? Sinong mas nakakahiya?"I've thought of that after he said those things. Alam kong mas makapangyarihan sila kaysa sa akin kaya kung sakaling lalaban ay ako lang ang mapapahiya.Knowing how peoples mind works here, siguradong lahat ay mababaligtad at sa akin mapupunta ang lahat ng sisi."You're really so stupid, Monteamor. Akala ko matapang kang babae."Now, I am being called stupid because of being powerless.This is how life works, kung mahirap ka, tiyak na ang kalalabasan ng isang bagay kahit hindi ka pa nagsisimulang lumaban.And in order to fight people like them, I need t
Huling Na-update : 2021-12-11Flawed Desires Chapter 26 (part 1)
#FD26 || Bethylia MonteamorMy whole body is aching, but even with all the pain I am feeling, emotionally, physically and mentally, I still choose to stand from the ground and chase him before he can even left my eyes.Panay ang ngiwi ko habang mabilis ang mga hakbang na hinahabol ang papalayong bulto na ngayon ni Aaren.I bit my lower lip and winced in pain as I run towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist from his back."Don't leave..." I pleaded while sobbing on his back. "I'm in pain, you don't want to see me like this right? Don't leave."Mas hinigpitan ko ang pagkakayakap sa kanya nang maramdaman ko ang kanyang pagprotesta.My knees are wobbling in weakness, heart is shattering uncontrollably while eyes are sobbing like there's no tomorrow ahead of us."Aaren, don't leave."Marahan akong napabuga ng hang
Huling Na-update : 2021-12-12Flawed Desires Chapter 26 (part 2)
I stared at the mauve sky and sighed.I don't want him to leave, ayos lang kung walang dumating na iba sa buhay ko basta babalik siya.Lahat ng sinabi ko kanina sa kanya ay parang biglang naglaho dahil walang pagdadalawang-isip ko iyong kinain at nilunok."Let's go inside, para kang pulubing nanghihingi ng makakain diyan.""Hindi pagkain ang hinihingi ko, paniniwala niya sa akin ang nililimos ko." I unconsciously uttered.A deep and hearty laugh escape from his mouth as he held my chin to met my gaze."Limusin mo iyon kapag maayos ka na." He seriously muttered. "Solid ka rin manakit, Bethyl. Harapan talaga.""What about Arya then?" I asked after contemplating what he just said.He shrugged and sat in the ground to prop his hand at his back to support his weight. Inayos ko rin ang pagkakaupo at piniling hayaan ang natu
Huling Na-update : 2021-12-13Flawed Desires Chapter 27
#FD27 || Bethylia MonteamorI gracefully walk towards my grinning friends and rolled my eyes. Ang iilang tao sa paligid ay halos mawalan na ng pakialam dahil lahat ay nasa iisang tao lang ang atensiyon."Kamusta na ang tanga?" Blanche teased as I sat infront of them."Kamusta ang magulo ang buhay?"Ibinaling ko ang ulo kay Samm na nagsasalita ngayon sa unahan. It's her birthday and just like me, her heart is also broken.Ganoon talaga siguro kapag magkakaibigan, sabay-sabay nagiging tanga."Sinabi ko na kasi sa iyo, nandiyan naman si Mark. Handang maghintay kahit maubos." She chuckled.
Huling Na-update : 2021-12-14Flawed Desires Chapter 28
#FD28 || Bethylia Monteamor(continuation after chapter 3)"Nakakapagod kang mahalin, Aaren." I whispered bitterly. "Akala ko magiging maayos pa ang lahat. Umasa ako. Kahit wala na akong aasahan ay umasa ako."He tried to step forward but he can't because everytime he'll do that, I took a step backward. Siguro nararamdaman niya na ang nararamdaman ko noong hanggang ngayon. Kada pipilitin kong umabante, pilit din siyang aatras palayo sa akin."I'm sorry, I can't do this job anymore. I quit." I said before turning my back on him."Don't do this, Bethylia."My steps halted after hearing his words. I sarcastically chuckled as I threw my head back and stared at the slightly orange sky—symbolizing the dusk coming sooner.Ang paborito kong oras mula noon hanggang ngayon, ang siyang palaging oras kung kailan ko naranas
Huling Na-update : 2021-12-16Flawed Desires Chapter 29
#FD29 || Bethylia MonteamorWhen what you hear and what you see doesn't match, trust you eyes - DaleRenton-"Bakit umuwi ka ngayon dito, Bethyl? Wala ka pang isang buwan doon, ah!" Blanche chuckled while looking at me with her playful eyes.I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Alam kong tanga ako, huwag niyo ng paulit-ulitin.""Nakapag-usap ba kayo?" Samm carefully asked while worriedly eyeing me.Marahan kong kinagat ang loob ng pisngi at mabagal na umiling. "We didn't. We fight all day, that's what happened."Naiiling na napabuga ng ha
Huling Na-update : 2021-12-17Flawed Desires Chapter 30
#FD30 || Bethylia MonteamorHindi ko alam kung mapapanindigan ko ba ang sarili kong hiniling, gayong halos dalawang araw palang na nawawala ang presensiya niya sa tabi ko ay labis na pangungulila na ang nararamdaman ko.After I said my request, he silently nodded his head and left my sight. Siguro ay hindi na rin kayang maiharap sa akin ang mukha matapos ang mga nalaman.My heart felt light, the heaviness its been carrying for almost five years has lighten. Nailabas ang mga hinanakit na ilang taong nakatago lang sa loob ng dibdib.Masarap pala sa pakiramdam kapag naipapagtanggol mo ang sarili mo, masarap pala sa pakiramdam kapag nailalabas mo ang mga hinanakit mo.If I only did that back then, maybe we're not in this situation, kung saan parehas nang sumusuko ang puso namin.He may not say it, but the looking his eyes says everything he's feeling. The guilt,
Huling Na-update : 2021-12-18
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Kung natuto akong tumingin sa mas positibong daan, sana ay hindi ako napadpad sa katangahang kinasasadlakan ko ngayon.I am not going home. Nanatili ako sa tahanan ng ama habang si Bethylia ay naroon sa naging tahanan namin ng halos dalawang taon.Nakakatawang nakaya kong itapon ang lahat ng iyon ng dahil sa mga pagdududang nabuo ng dahil sa mga salita ng taong wala naman naiambag sa buhay namin kung hindi gulo."What did I tell you? I am the one who's right, right?" My father mocked as rumors about Mark and Bethylia spread in the whole province.Hindi na ako nagulat doon. Inaasahan ko na iyon dahil hindi lingid sa kaalaman kong mayroong pagtingin sa kanya ang sariling kaibigan. I am a guy after all. I know how a guy look at a girl he
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Days had passed just like that. Me going to school and going home after wstching her work and walking her home even when she doesn't even have the slightest idea of it.I was close to graduating, but knowing that she's just entering college next year made me enroll myself again to se her everyday.Nanginginig at nanlalambot ang mga tuhod ko habang nakatayo ngayon sa harapan ng babaeng ilang taon ko nang pinagmamasdan mula sa malayo.She repeatedly blink her eyes as her jaw dropped at my sudden presence infront of her."Ah.. Pedro."My heart almost melted at that, hearing my name with her voice made me feel like at a time, I am the girl and he's the guy.
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#FD35 || Bethylia MonteamorI was pacing back and forth while Aaren is just infront of me, chuckling everytime he'll lift his gaze to meet my eyes.I am nervous. Walang alam ang pamilya ko na ikinasal ako, at sa loob ng isang taon kong pagkakatali kay Aaren ay hindi ko iyon ipinaalam o kahit nabanggit man lang ng kahit isang beses, kahit sa mga kaibigan. The only one who had knowledge about it is Mark, of course, he's our witness.I just don't want to answer things, specifically those times that I am still grasping everything that happened, those time that I am still healing."Calm down, Bethylia. Wala namang mangyayaring masama. We'll just say it, no sweat."Awtomat
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Flawed Desires Chapter 33 (part 2)
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Flawed Desires Chapter 33 (part 1)
#FD33 || Bethylia Monteamor"Long time no see, my wife."I stared at him with longing in my eyes. I've been wanting to see him since he left Manila, but due to our circumstances, I stopped myself from doing anything to satisfy my heart.Heal first before loving fully again.I swallowed a hard lump on my throat and look at him with my inquisitive eyes. "Why are you here?"Marahan niyang inabot ang kamay kong namamahinga sa kandungan at pinisil iyon na parang sinasabi ang sagot sa tanong kong hindi ko naman makuha."I wanted to see my wife. Hinayaan na kita ng isang taon, hindi na ako papayag na madagdagan pa iyon, Bethylia. I've heal, I know you did too. Let's not be away from each other from now on."I can't help but gasped as he pulled me towards him and wrapped me around his arms. Marahan akong napabuga ng hangin at hinayaan siya sa gin
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Days had passed like that. Ni hindi ko na napansin ang paglipas ng mga araw. And as expected, Aaren didn't suddenly showed up here even once. Lumipas ang dalawang buwang hinihingi ko pero hindi pa rin ako muling nagpaparamdam o kahit tuparin ang ipinangako bago siya umalis ay hindi ko ginawa. I am not ditching him, I am just still at the procees of healing and improving and I know he's also still in those process. Ayokong sa tuwing may hindi magandang mangyayari sa pagitan namin kung sakaling bumalik sa piling ng isa't-isa ay mas pipiliin niyang lumayo at isarado ang tainga. I don't want him getting aggressive and being able to hurt me in a flashed of second. He needs to change his way of absorbing things first. Not through hurting, not through avoiding but through having a good and calm talk. I stared at my hands resting on my table. I stared at it lovingly with a small smile on my face. I r
