Days without Brent's presence were empty. Siguro nga talagang nagdepende ako sa kanya ng matindi kaya ang hirap niyang pakalawan.I am slowly learning to live around gaping the hole of his absence. It's hard though, but I know I can do this.Simula nang malaman din nila kuya Mac na nag-migrate si Brent sa ibang bansa wala na silang ibang ginawa kundi ang tumambay dito sa bahay. 'Di ko lang alam kung kasama niya pa si Danica 'yun. Magsama sila!Alam din nila na may relasyon kami ni Brent no'n, si kuya lang talaga ang walang kaalam alam.They're mad because Brent kept our relationship secret when he can proclaim it openly. Gago nga kasi. Umalis ng walang sabi, anong gusto niyang maramdaman ko? Maging masaya kasi tuluyan na siyang wala? I know what I told him to let go of me but not with the fact that he'd leave me alone talaga. Ito na ba 'yung sinasabi nilang, be careful what you wish for. Yes, I've wished for him to stay away from me but not with that distance. Ang layo ng Canada!Bak
"Gracia, tahimik mo ah? Hinihintay mo pa rin ba siya?" Napalingon ako kay Lander. I gulped."Huh? Hindi ah," sagot ko at uminom. Liar, Yna. Pagkatapos kong ilagpag 'yung baso sa mesa kita ko ang mga mata nila kuya na hindi makapaniwala sa sagot ko."Bakit? Hindi naman talaga ah." I defended. Tumawa lang si kuya Mac."Kwento mo sa pagong." I rolled my eyes at Kuya Mac. Kahit kailan talaga si Kuya Mac.Well, kilala naman kasi talaga nila ako. They know the fact that Brent is my weakness and will always be."Lie to yourself but not to me," Lander uttered. He drank another shot. Hindi ko na lang pinansin. "How are you and Ate Monica?""Don't ask. Complicated," he replied gazing away."Asus."Maya maya pa'y wala na sila kuya Mac at ang iba. Paniguradong kung kani kaninong chixx naman sila nagsisipunta. Boys and their agendas. Si Lander na katabi ko ang naiwan.The music hyped everyone. "Di ka sasayaw?" I shook my head."Sayang naman, you should enjoy your night.""Nah, hindi na. Okay lang
Just what the hell is happening?! My mouth was still parted a bit. Why the fuck is he here? Bakit mas lalong gumwapo siya ngayon? Shit! He looks hot as hell with his three piece suit, his hair is neatly brushed up and his sexy mustache. Gosh! I will always be swoon over with his presence. Tingin niya pa lang, bumababa na ang anghel sa lupa. Ilang taon man ang nakalipas, hindi pa rin nabawasan ang kagwapuhan niya. Ang pogi niya! Tangina lang!These thoughts made me cringe. I shook my head. This is not the time to admire his damn beauty."He's one of the engineers who'll approve your design Ms. Portillo," said my chief. Kinuyom ko ang kamao ko. Ang mukha naman niya'y seryoso. I didn't imagine our meeting to be like this. His hawk eyes left me breathless. Bakit ganyan siya makatingin?My eyes wandered around and everyone were expecting me to start. Shit! Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Fuck you Brent! You're really good at ruining me!I closed eyes and heaved a deep sigh before starting.S
I couldn't stand the sight of him with his son. Nanatili akong nakatayo habang nakatingin sa kanila."Daddy, I wanna go home na po. I'm hungry na." He leveled his face on his son. Ako naman ay nakatulala pa ring pinagmamasdan silang dalawa"Okay, let's go." Kinuha niya ang kamay ng anak niya bago umalis. Nakita ko pa siyang lumingon sa pwesto ko. I know he wanted to explain. Hindi na naman kailangan dahil sapat na ang nakita ko.Pagkauwi ko ay inilapag ko ang mga plastic bags at napaupo. Hindi ko na namalayan ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko. Tangina! I have already expected him having someone aside from me but not with the fact that he has already a son. Ibig sabihin sa anim na taon na 'yun, nagpakasal na siya o di kaya'y nakabuntis na.Ang sakit pa rin pala. Akala ko wala ng sasagad ang mga pinaggagawa niya sa akin noon. May isasakit pa pala ngayon.Then, why the hell the destiny is playing us? Ka-trabaho ko siya kaya 'di maiiwasan ang pagkikita namin. I wanted to be away with him but I d
I stared blankly at the wall for how many minutes now. Hindi ko alam kung ano pa rin ang mararamdaman ko ngayon.My heart swelled inside of my chest. I kept on holding back my tears but I don't think I can do it now.Tears pooled my eyes. My heart was still heavy. The agony building up inside of me has slowly consumed me.Okay naman ako ng mga nagdaang taon e, kinaya ko naman ng wala siya. Bakit na naman ako nagkaka-ganito dahil sa kanya? Nakaka-tangina lang! I glanced at the time in my phone. It's already three in the morning. Mas lalo kong kinagulat ang ilang missed calls galing kay kuya.They're definitely worried about my whereabouts. Siraulo kasi 'to si Brent!"Kuya." bungad ko nang masagot ko ang tawag."Yna? Nasaan ka na? Saan ka dinala ng gagong 'yan ha?" sunod sunod na tanong ni kuya."Nasa Tagaytay kami. But, kuya don't worry I can manage.""Siguraduhin mo lang, Yna, baka 'pag bumalik ka na naman dito sa Manila para ka namang asong ulol diyan sa gagong 'yan."I heaved a deep
Inis kong nilagay sa basurahan ang bulaklak galing sa table ko. "Puta." I cursed under my breath. Hindi talaga titigil ang lalaking 'yun hanggang sa hindi niya makuha ang gusto niya."Sa susunod pakiusap paki-tapon na lang 'tong mga bulaklak na 'to ah?""Hay naku, Yna. Hindi mo mapipigilan 'yan. Look at how persistent he is, ako na lang ang naawa e." Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Ricardo.I squeezed my temple. Ikinalampag ko ang sling bag ko. Ang aga aga, nagsimula na naman ang hinayupak na 'yun.Well, for several weeks now he kept on sending me flowers, chocolates and notes. Kahit walang pangalan ng sender, sino pa bang magpapadala nun? Siya lang naman.Kakatapos lang ng construction. It earned me a good reputation in the company. Hindi na kami nagkikita ni Brent, he's busy with his work overseas. That's great, anyways. I could live freely without any pest.I am also having the best time of my life since no one's bugging me. Peace is at my back.I took a glimpse on the clock. Since, I bec
"Shit! I'm excited naaaa!" Ricardo raised his hands in the air as we stepped out in the airplane and landed in El Nido, Palawan. Here we go! We were all dressed with our summer outfits."Let's gooo!" Kanina pa hinahawakan ni Ayesha ang mahaba niyang summer dress na tinatangay ng hangin.Good thing, I wore only a cropped top and a high waist maong shorts.Hindi na sumama si Asher dahil may aasikasuhin daw siya.Ricardo brought his gwapo boyfriend with him. When I say, gwapo he really looked like a European model with his features. Shit! Where did Ricardo get that guy?"Hoy, mata mo! Kanina mo pa pinagdidiskitahan ang boyfriend ko!" hasik ni Ricardo. Inirapan ko lang siya."Aba, babe o." pabebe niyang pagsumbong sa boyfriend niya na hindi ko alam ang pangalan."I'm Gregory by the way." He extended his hand for a shake. Ricardo looked at me with his disapproving look. As if naman, I'll snatch his boyfriend from him. I smiled and accepted his shake."Yna," tipid kong sabi bago pinuntahan
"Yna..." marahang tapik niya sa braso ko habang nakatalikod pa rin ako sa kanya. This is the first time we'll be sleeping together for God's sake!I didn't reply as my eyes were still open. I bit hardly my lower lip."Yna..." Tawag niyang muli sa akin."Yna..." malalim at maawtoridad niyang tawag kaya lumingon ako sa kanya. He cupped my face as he looked at me with the intense stares of his eyes giving me. I felt caged with the way his gaze locked on mine. His stares made my knees wobble. I couldn't help but mesmerize with the every inch of his face.The next thing I knew, I was sweating bullets. The aircon couldn't help the fire inside of me from igniting."Can you please just tell me if I did something wrong Yna? Hindi ko alam kung may nagawa ako. I find it hard to understand your actions. I feel like I'm always upsetting you, na bawat galaw ko mali para sa 'yo.." aniya."Hindi sa ganun--" I trailed off. "It's not your fault.""Then what?""Basta.. m-matulog na tayo." Kumunot ang no
I would never forget her words she threw on me too. That was my cue to stop."Minsan, ang sakit mo ring magsalita no," bumagsak ang balikat ko at yumuko. I don't want to let her see me breaking but God, I couldn't help it. Tangina, tumagos sa buto iyon. Nanginginig ang kalamnan ko."Tama ka, I'm an asshole. A jerk. No one would love me like you do. Sige, iwan mo na ako katulad ng iba. Gago ako diba?"Pumunta pa rin ako sa bahay nila, gusto ko sanang mag-paalam, na huli na 'to dahil tanggap ko na. Pero, nalaman na ni Yael. Tinanggap ko lahat ng suntok niya, tadyak niya, sipa niya, lahat lahat sinalo ko kase kasalanan ko. Pinatos ko kapatid niya sa likod niya. Sinira ko ang tiwala ng bestfriend ko. Ginago ko siya. Kasi, kung matino ako ipagpapaalam ko siya ng maayos pero wala e, gago talaga.There are kinds of love. Love that nourishes you to grow, to bloom and become better. And there is also a love that restricts you and that forbids you. It leads you to misunderstandings until you ten
"Kapatid mo?" Yael was browsing his gallery and I saw his picture with a girl. Seems like his sister. Bakit tinanong ko pa?Si Yael, bestfriend ko 'yun. Kahit na siraulo, maasahan mo naman 'yun.We were at our bench, resting after an intense game. Fuck, my elbow still hurts."Yeah, ganda nya no." aniya."Oo nga, sexy pa." I licked my lips I stared at the photos together with his sister.Ngumiwi ako nang hinampas niya ako sa twalya. "Gago ka, 'wag kapatid ko! Mga galawan mo!" singhal niya. Sinapak ko naman siya sa braso."Tanga, hindi ako manunulot ng kapatid, oy! May girlfriend ako, siraulo ka ba?"Gago ba siya! Hindi rin ako pumapatol ng bata!"Ako ba niloloko mo Brent? Kahit may girlfriend ka na, kilala kita.""Baliw, hindi ah." kontra ko pa.Binatukan naman niya ako. "Kanina ka pa ha!" hinimas himas ko ulo ko."Utot mo Brent, wala pang isang araw ang pagpapalit mo ng chixx, gusto mo isa-isahin ko?" panghahamon niya."Marami ba? 'Di ko dama e. Balak ko sanang mangolekta pa." I grinn
When we thought that everything's going in accord, our happiness were stolen away in just a snap. Zalayne was diagnosed with Leukemia. It was devastating as a mom seeing my daughter wincing in pain every time we go to hospital. It was hereditary because my father had that disease before which led to his death. "Go, Daddy!" My daughter cheered ecstatically. Ganyan siya simula nang sinama namin siya. This was the first she'd be out that's why she can't contain her excitement. Napapangiti lang ako sa ca-cutan niya. She was giggling while watching her daddy on the court playing baskteball together with my other kuyas.Ngumiti ako habang pinagmamasdan ang anak kong masayang masaya. I hope this little joy won't be taken away within our grasp.My heart clenched painfully. Itinago ko pa ang mukha ko para hindi ako makita ng anak ko. I don't want her to see me in this state. She'd be sad for sure but I couldn't help it. Mabilis kong pinunasan ang luha ko."Ang galing ni Daddy, naka-shoot o
After the proposal, we started attending to marriage seminars. We wanted to be guided well. Because, marriage is not a joke. It isn't something you do just because you wanted. We want let God lead this marriage. We know that if we let God be the author of our lives everything will be alright.Yes, we just got married today. Kahit ako hindi makapaniwala. Isa na akong Jimenez.The preparation lasted for a month before we held the wedding. Just a few people came, our family, friends and some of our work mates were present there to support us.The memory of the wedding lingered on my mind again. We went through series of havoc, but still we managed it all.Papa Oscar was the one who walked with me though the aisle but it would be more special if Papa was around.My baby Zalayne was there with us celebrating with our happiest day. I remembered laughing out loud after Rashiel and his first love Attorney Padua danced on my wedding. They needed that time. Sinadya talaga namin ni Brent 'yun
Nagising akong ramdam pa rin ang mainit na yakap ni Brent. Mas lalo akong sumiksik sa leeg niya."Hi.." he said when I checked him if he's awake and he was just looking at me. Kanina pa ba niya ako tinititigan? Paano kung nakanganga pala ako kanina?"I love you..." he whispered. Ang aga aga naman nito!He was about to give me a peck on my lips when I immediately covered it with my hand.He frowned at me. "Bad breath pa ako.""And so?" Umusog naman ako ng kaunti."Ah, basta. Ayoko. Anong oras na ba?" I glanced at the wall clock."10 na?!" I shrieked."Really?""Hindi ka mukhang nagulat, Brent. Kanina ka pa pala gising. Hindi mo man lang ako ginising.""I'm sorry I was just watching you sleep. It's your fault you look pretty in the morning,""Heh! 'Wag mo 'kong ganyanin! May pasok pa ako sa shop."Siya nga d'yan ang sobrang gwapo. My cheeks flushed. "Let me drive you,""Hindi na. Umuwi ka kaya muna sa inyo,""It's okay, Yna. I texted my Mom a while ago." he insisted. "Kahit na, nakaka
"H-Hi..." she said with a smile plastered on her face. It was a smile I've never seen from her. For some odd reasons, it felt genuine."H-Hello. Why are you here?" I managed to ask. I had to show her that it was fine. I didn't want her to know how terrified I was."Can we talk for a while?" she asked with her calm voice."Sure."We ended up in a coffee shop nearby. "I've been wanting to see you, Yna but I never got the courage to do it," panimula niya. She lowered her gaze and I saw her in pain while she was telling it go md. "You know, I'm sorry for what I did back then. I was just really pissed off at that time. I know this apology is a long over due but I wanted to say how sorry I was.""Okay lang, Danica. Nagmahal ka lang naman. Mali rin ako noon dahil alam kong nandoon ka pero pinili ko pa rin siya.""Yes, Brent was the only one I love. He was there for me whenever I need him. It was difficult for me to let him go especially when you came into the picture. I thought it was your
Pagod akong humiga sa kama ko at niyakap ng mahigpit ang unan ko nang makarating ako sa apartment ko. I couldn't just get rid of Brent's face in my mind.How would I be able to say this to him? The last encounter we had was when I was drunk. He told me he didn't want to see me anymore.Paulit-ulit kasing rumerehistro sa utak ko ang usapan namin nila Hera. And it's killing me too much.Love is really destructive. It's either you destroy or you'd get destroyed.I needed to tell him this.The next morning came and I went to his place. I gathered my strength together as I was standing in front of his apartment. I heaved a great sigh before I pressed the button. Nangangatal pa rin ang aking kamay dahil sa kaba. Kagat ko pa rin ang labi ko. Nanghihina ang aking mga buto. Nanginginig ang tuhod ko.Pinindot ko muli at naghintay. Pero, wala siya. I wonder where he is now. I called his phone number but there was no response.I called Kuya Dexter's number, baka sakaling alam niya. Ilang beses ak
"Yna, look I'm sorry for what I said. It's my fault. But, don't get there Yna. Breaking up? Really? No, I won't allow that," matigas niyang saad. He looked frustrated and vulnerable."Magpahinga muna tayo, Brent. Minadali kasi natin lahat —""No, Yna okay naman tayo ah. Why are you insisting that? Okay, sige. Cool-off muna tayo kung gusto mo. I'll give you the time and space you need but please do not break up with me. Nandito na tayo.""I won't break up with you if you promise to tell me what you're up to these past few days. Hindi ako manghuhula, Brent." Tumahimik siya sandali."See? You can't tell it to me! Para saan pa at naging tayo?""Hindi sa lahat ng oras Yna sasabihin ko sa'yo ang pinagkakaabalahan ko. May buhay ko at hindi sa lahat ng oras alam mo ang bawat detalye ng buhay ko.""Fine, naiintindihan ko. Girlfriend lang naman ako, okay. I understand."Which means he doesn't trust me as much as I am to him."Yna naman..." he pleaded. I walked to my bedroom. Mabilis kong sinarad
It's been a week since the last encounter with kuya. Brent has been very sweet to me since then. Kalat na rin sa buong department na kami na.Hindi ko nga maisip na mangyayari pala talaga 'to na parte lang ng pangarap ko.We were holding hands as we were heading to our house. May binili raw siyang regalo kay kuya. Kanina ko pa nga siya tinatanong kung ano pero ayaw niya talaga.I could see Brent's effort to really please kuya. May pinagsamahan naman sila, sana iyon ang makita ni kuya, hindi lang 'yung galit niya.He stopped the engine. Naningkit naman ang mata nito nang tumingin sa akin. "I know what you're thinking, Yna but I won't tell it. Just wait and see." He even winked. What the hell? Ilang beses pa akong kumurap. Nang bumaba siya, sumunod na rin ako.Hindi na kinagulat ni ate Bea nang makita kami. Nasanay na rin siya na lagi kaming magkasama na pumupunta rito. Sa totoo lang, hindi lang naman kay Brent galit si kuya. Sa akin din. Hanggang maaari, ayokong saktan si kuya. He's th