UNWELCOME

Sandra

The ride home was quiet. "I think your banquet went well.  I'm so proud of you" I finally got the courage to say as we rode down the city block. Ryan was so quiet. I just looked out the window. It wasn't a long drive from the banquet back to our house, a small house, in American Suburbia. A nice house with a white picket fence. Ryan had hired landscapers as he didn't trust me to decorate the outside. I was upset, I really loved flowers, but I knew better than to argue with him. Designers decorated the inside before we moved in after his promotion. The house didn't feel like home. I had put nothing of myself inside of it.  When he pulled into the garage, he turned off the car and got out. Leaving me afraid to move.  What had I done? Why was he not speaking and slamming the door shut? I thought back through the night. What could have set him off?  I was dressed nicely. I hadn’t put dark eyeshadow on. I hadn't spoken out of turn since he left new fingerprints on my thigh. He had given me approval to dance with Captain Monroe. I couldn’t think of anything I did but I still considered staying in the car all night. I closed my eyes.

He came to the small door that connected the garage and the kitchen, "Get in here and quit hiding in the car like a little girl" he said ruining my plans. He was angry. I deep sighed slowly opening the car door. "What’s wrong Ry?" I asked as softly as I could muster, my voice noticeably Shakey. "Who was he?" I just blinked at him. This again He asked again this time louder. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said trying to reach for his arm. He jerked away. "The man you were gazing at while you pretended to be proud of your husband. I am not stupid Sandra" he was almost puffing out his chest as if he was trying to look bigger. He didn't need to, Ryan was a well-built man, handsome and charming, he had emerald green eyes, and dark hair. He was beautiful on the outside. I could remember how strong my desire for him had been before. "I wasn't gazing at anyone Ry I only want you" I felt the wind before his palm connected... a burning pain on the side of my cheek. I put my hands up to block my face. "Ry please, I promise I don't know what you are talking about" he grabbed me and kissed me hard. I couldn't breathe but was afraid to stop him. Last time he hit me multiple times for doing that. I had to hide inside for weeks with the "flu". I think my movie date is tomorrow and I won't miss it. He stepped back. "You belong to me" he panted. I wanted to scream and tell him that I didn't fucking belong to anyone. I couldn't. I looked at him and smiled. "Of course, I do baby. please come take me to the bedroom. I have wanted to take that suit off all night. Maybe that's why I seemed to daze off. The thought of my husband inside of me" I smiled sweetly at him. I watched as his tension released some. He grabbed my arm putting his other hand on my throat. I tried to stay calm and continue smiling at him. " Tell me your mine" he growled at me. I replied in a whisper because it was hard to breathe. He squeezed a little tighter. "Tell me again" I truly believed he enjoyed the look of fear I knew was in my eyes. "I belong to you” I tried to swallow and couldn't. He smiled shoving himself against me so I could feel his excitement.  I tried to force a moan. He kissed me again hard. Letting go he said, "Don't forget that".  He started to grab my hand and lead me to the stairs.

I walked behind him my heart racing knowing things how things are going to go. He walked me through the bedroom door closing it behind me. "Dont fucking move." He hissed as he walked towards the closet. He pulled out the box. I hated this box. His box of 'fun' as he called it. Tools he used for pleasure that only caused me pain. He came up behind me grabbing the back of my hair pulling my head back hard, i tried not to groan. He enjoyed causing me pain so I tried hard not to give into it. He wrapped his hand around my throat cutting off my airflow for a few seconds then letting go with laughter that sent a sharp almost painful chill down my spine. "Take everything off and walk to the closet." I closed my eyes while I removed my clothes. I hesitated before walking to the closet which he noticed and smacked me hard on the ass. "Now." His monster voice had came out. He is still mad. I am still in trouble. I walked over to the closet slowly while he stared at me from behind. I could see him in the mirror, with that devilish smile across his face. He was about to really enjoy himself.  He walked over to me pulled my arms up using his police issued cuffs to attach my hands to the bar above my head. He walked around to my back smacking the inside of my thighs hard to spread my legs apart. I could feel tears threatening to fall from my eyes so I willed them not to. "Open your eyes and look at me." He ordered. I looked up at him but saw nothing but hate staring back at me. He ran a paddle up the inside of my thigh smacking it hard over my skin. I didnt move. He smiled at me. "who do you belong to Sandy?" He asked quietly right in front of my face. "I belong to you Ryan." I said slowly trying hard not to give him what he wants. He smacked me again this time on my chest, "Why did you stare at that fucking server then?" he yelled at me that time. " I didnt stare at him." I said back just as loud. He looked up at me and grinned. He quickly uncuffed me and threw me hard onto the bed.

I heard the locks from the shackles and instantly couldnt stop the tears. I hated it when he locked me in those things, I was completely at his mercy. Completely bared to him, exposed to his special kind of passion. I instantly started to shake. "Roll over wife, or I will do it this way." I rolled over quickly at his threat and he pushed my legs apart shackling them to the bed, then shacking my arms down as well. He stood at the end of the bed staring at me, before crawling on top of me. HIs scent made me sick, it didnt use to, but it does now. I held my breath as he pushed his mouth onto mine. "First you want to check out the man at the resturant, and then you want to stare at some worhtless server when you are suppose to be supporting your husband." He ran his hand up my leg and I cringed. I looked up frantically but he didint notice.When he reached my crease he was angry to find I wasnt excited about it. He licked his hand violently before sticking his fingers inside of me. It was rough, awkward and uncomfortable when he touched me, but i had to appease him so I started to moan some. "Oh yea Sandy, you belong to me dont you baby?" He asked in my ear, "Yes my husnband, I belong to you." I lied.  I closed my eyes tightly and suddenly I was floating in space looking at all the sparkling stars naming each one. At some point he had unshackled me while I was flying through space, wrapped his arms around me tight, and sleeping like a baby. He really was a monster. I wiggled out of his arms rolled over as far as I could and returned to space until I fell asleep as well. The next morning was almost normal. He reminded me about my movie date and I thanked him for allowing me to go. I promised to keep him updated on how we were. He drank his coffee actually looking like a normal husband. Only I knew who he was. Only I would ever know.

He got a call and left in a hurry talking about a lead on the brotherhood leader. He kissed me hard before walking out the door.  When I heard the car pull out, I exhaled. I didn’t realize but I hadn't been breathing. I quickly went to jump in the shower. I glanced at myself in the giant master bathroom mirror and realized I had more bruises than a Dalmatian has spots. I flinched as I got into a warm shower. I was truly excited about the movie no matter what they intended to watch. Last month it was some romance movie. I hopped out of the shower begrudgingly as it felt amazing on my sore body. I threw on some jeans, a tank, and an oversized hoodie from when I worked at Kings Burger. I've had this hoodie forever. Since Ohio. I'm surprised he hasn't thrown it out. I know he isn't fond of it. I loved it besides It takes a lot of fabric to conceal my secrets. I blow-dried my hair and put some cover-up makeup on the new and old bruises on my face and neck. Lastly, I slid into my tennis shoes. I was ready for my girl date.  I sat on the island in my kitchen sipping some coffee Ryan had left behind. I thought of my "friends" rolling my eyes. They were sweet enough. Of course. Jill was okay, an officer’s wife, someone who baked and took care of kids. She didn't work. Ryan called her a lazy gold digger often. April, Ryan would be surprised to know she's kind of a slut, yes, she is married to a detective, but she gets around. Sometimes she leaves the movie halfway through always smirking at us as she walks by. That leaves Tanya. I like Tanya a lot. She is fun and kind. Didn't make me feel like a burden to bear. She is as cautious as me. She has some of the same problems I have with Ryan. His old partner Brian, I believe, is cut from the same cloth. These are the friends I am allowed.

I gathered my keys and purse and headed to the door for my usual pick-up from Tanya. I’m free I breathed as I walked out the front door. Tanya was wearing a hoodie and jeans as well. She smiled so big I thought she would burst. " SANDY, I have missed you so much" I missed her too. I smiled. "I don't know why they think one night a month is sufficient for best friends. It's not like we are busy being a cop’s wife. I sit at the house and stare at the walls and do laundry. I mentioned it to Brian, ya know, that we need more time." she ended with that.

 I thought she needed to catch her breath, but I saw her eyes go darker and realized it didn't go well. "Maybe I'll mention it to Ryan as well," I said quickly to pull her out of the memory. "You could," she said hopeful. When we pulled up to the theatre, I could already see the other girls. Jill in her Stafford wive’s dress. Blonde up due and dark eyeliner. lucky.  April in her half-cut shirt and Dixie shorts curly red hair and dark red lipstick. It was getting closer to fall and not warm enough for that. I assume she has a date. I smiled and Tanya smiled back knowingly. They had decided on an adventure-type thriller. We got snacks and walked towards the movie.

 Tanya reached me my large drink. " Wanna bet you will have to potty like 15 times with that drink" she giggled. "You're on" I smiled back.