Chapter 5

Yasmin:

My sunken eyes stared back at me as I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. Sunday morning and the challenge it came with came faster than I wanted it to.

The plastic bags and elastic bands lay on the table, staring at me, waiting for me to do the needful. A sigh escaped my lips and my sunken green eyes stared back at me from the mirror, tired but encouraging me to do the necessary.

Slowly I unwrapped the bandages on my hands, wincing and whimpering as the soft material bruised and stung my tender, peeling skin. My hands didn’t even look like mine anymore: pink patches of tender exposed skin and blisters covered my hands. I tested my fingers and instantly regretted it, as a blister popped open and began to ooze and bleed anew and all I could do was stand there and watch my crimson blood drip into the sink.

Quickly, I wrapped it back up, powering through the pain and wrapping it all again in the plastic bags and bands so that I could shower.

Just as I was about to take my towel off, I heard storming footsteps and soon, the door burst open making me jolt.

“Yasmin, what are you doing?!”

Sister Gwen’s narrow eyes were filled with rage as she regarded me with disdain.

“Good morning Sister Gwen. I was just about to…”

Her strong old grip wrapped around my injured hand and I screamed in pain. I could feel blisters popping and the liquid and blood being seeped up by the bandages. The pain was raw and stung like it was the first day. My knees buckled under me and I held my towel to my body as I cried and begged her to let go of me.

“You were supposed to be on duty five minutes ago! People are coming for mass!”

“Y-Yes, Sister… Forgive me, Sister. I…”

Tears and pain choked my words and after what felt like an eternity, she let me go. I cradled my hand to my chest and I knelt there sobbing.

“Shower and get dressed! If you aren’t in the church in ten minutes, you will regret it!”

She stormed out and slammed the door. I knelt there, unable to move. And my hand… I didn’t even want to see what it looked like.

~~~

The choir sang beautifully and I couldn’t help but hum along. I loved to sing but when I brought it up with my dad, he turned it down, saying that there were much more important jobs to do for God. But that never took away my love for it, my craving for my voice to echo off the church walls and fill the room.

The visiting priest called for the donations to be collected and Sister Gwen gave me a cold glare. Without hesitation, I grabbed the basket and walked among the pews as people dropped their money into the basket. People’s gazes strayed to my wrapped hands and I could see the questions springing up in their eyes but all I could do was smile, even though holding the basket was torture to my hands.

“Thank you, thank you, thank…”

My breathing hitched and I felt my knees lock in place. A few pews from where I stood sat Jacob, his cobalt blue eyes taking me in with intensity that made me feel fire in every part of me. What was he doing here? How come this was the first time I saw him? How long had…

I shuddered as a hand touched me.

“Sister Yasmin, is there a problem?” Sister Gwen asked aggressively, through her teeth as she stood right in front of me, glowering, so that no one would see her furious gaze.

“N-Nothing, Sister Gwen. Forgive me.”

She scoffed and walked away and I resumed my duty, my eyes fixed on the basket, not daring to look up even though, in my heart, I knew I was getting closer and closer to him, and with each step, it became harder to breathe, harder to think, like my mind was buffering and slowly filling with thoughts of his face, his eyes, his voice… his touch.

“Good morning, Sister Yasmin.”

A gasp escaped my lips. I had reached his pew and his deep, dark voice rumbled in my ears, causing blood to rush to my face. My name on his tongue sounded like a relic that only he had found and now owned.

My hands shook as I tried to hold the basket steady for other people to put their money. As I pulled my hands away, to move to the next pew, he grabbed my wrist. My breathing was rapid and shallow, my head was bent but through the corner of my eye, I saw him fish into his suit pocket and take out a folded piece of paper. Only when he dropped it in the basket did he let me go. In that moment, my feet were confused and I tripped on my habit, stumbling and little.

My body never worked with me while I was around him. My face was terribly red and now the stares were even worse. Wrapped hands, reddened face, Jacob’s aura suffocating me and making it hard to breathe, to think. And despite all that, I could still feel Sister Gwen’s glare heavy on my shoulders.

~~~

The entire time, my head was bowed low, my eyes closed as I struggled to get those dark blue eyes out of my mind as we shared the grace. My fingers glided across my wrist where Jacob’s touch lingered and electrified my skin. I still couldn’t understand how he made me feel these… things, these feelings.

Soon, the church was filled with commotion as people left, some rushing to see the sisters and the priest. I raised my head and Jacob was gone. My eyes scoured the pews, the bustling people, but he was not there, as if he had disappeared with the wind. My lungs finally worked properly, no longer crushed by the weight of his presence. Sister Gwen glared at me again and I knew that they didn’t want me in the church while they attended to the people.

Without hesitation, I hurried outside, relishing the fresh air that rushed into my lungs. The premises was nearly empty and there was still no sign of Jacob. At least I could think and act normally. I hurried to the back to look for a broom. My dad made me clean the statue of Mary every Sunday even though it was cleaned every other day. He always said that doing so would bring me blessings. I could ask her to help me understand these strange feelings I had recently developed.

At the far side of the church, the loneliest and quietest place here, I found a broom leaning against the wall. My hands had barely touched the handle when I felt a presence loom over me.

“Ahh!” I gasped as I turned around and was immediately pinned to the wall and found myself staring into a raging tempest that swirled in the deepest pair of blue eyes.

How did he find me? How did I not see him?

My heart was racing out of control, my legs felt like jelly and they buckled beneath me. The only thing keeping me upright was the pressure of his body against mine.

“Hello, Sister Yasmin,” he said darkly, as his eyes searched my face and his fingers brushed against my cheek, reawakening all the places he had touched before. My mind was wiped clean and his face took centre stage.

“I see the way you look at me, Sister.–”

His voice was a deep whisper that warmed my face with his breath as his eyes burned into me.

“–The way you jolt, the way your breathing catches–”

His fingers brushed my lips and sent sparks through my body.

“–when you look at me.”

As if on command, my breathing did get caught. This felt so wrong but something deep inside of me, wanted to indulge, wanted him to have his way with me, anything to hear him say ‘those’ words again.

“I know what you want and I will give you that and more if you agree to be my submissive.”

My eyes widened. What… What was a submissive? What was he talking about?

A deep chuckle rumbled in his throat as his face drew closer to mine, our lips barely inches apart and his warm breath caressing my face.

“Your innocence humours me, Sister Yasmin. So naive…”

Instinctively, I could feel my eyes closing and my face drawing nearer but instead, something smooth was pushed into my hands. I opened my eyes and his face was back at a reasonable distance.

“Read it and if it’s truly what you want, you know where to find me.”

He backed away from me, easing the pressure of his body on mine and I fell to my knees on the concrete ground. My eyes looked up at him and my lips trembled. His lips were in a half smile as he placed his hand on the top of my head and stroked my hair through the veil.

“You will be my good girl. A fucking good girl.”

Those words made me tremble. His ‘good girl’... I wanted to…

“Sister Yas… Oh my God!”

Sister Gwen walked in and immediately, Jacob pulled his hand away while I slipped the paper under my habit into my pocket before her old eyes could see it.

Her eyes travelled between Jacob and me and even though she was old, her face turned pink as she caught Jacob’s gaze.

“Sister Yasmin, w-who is this young… man?”