I feel your hands on me hours after you're gone, my fingertips feel like I had them dipped into your cologne when in actuality, everything I touch turns into you. You might not be here right now but I flush like your eyes are still above mine, full of mischief and mirth. And when I turn over in bed, all I feel is the unstable beating of your heart. Tell me now, was it just lies or were your brown eyes lying when they told me how beautiful I looked? My muscles ache, my body writhes; only because even when you're away, you're close enough.
-
Young Jae had just finished his food when his phone's screen lit up and the music toned down slightly telling him that he just got a notification. He grabbed it only to find someone had followed his personal Twitter account. He frowned opening the notification since he never really used that account, he just used the NSFW one.
'Jaeminmin followed you!"
Yoongi chuckled at the username before clicking the profile to find food brands in the following list. "What a weirdo", he mumbled in amusement but followed them back anyway. It wasn't like he cared who he followed or whatever.
The pale boy switched the neon lights on in his small apartment and stood on the bed on his knees while his phone rested on the desk in front of him. He pressed on the timer and adjusted the screen so his face wasn't visible. Only his neck and body till his knees visible on the screen.
As soon as the recording started he wrapped his long slender fingers around his length, groaning almost automatically when he applied even the slightest of pressure upon his fingertips. Young-Jae moved his hand up and down slowly at first but slowly increasing the pace, short pants leaving his mouth.
He was rock hard, his stream had the most amount of viewers today than he'd ever had before and it made his toes tingle with arousal and a sense of achievement. He kept pumping himself up and down, moaning and grunting completely out of his own pleasure.
One thing about him was that he had learned to be vocal during sex and even during anything remotely sexual from all the compliments he had gotten from his previous videos about his voice. Even if it felt like boasting, he too was proud that he had a voice like that. That being honey-like as he had been told countless times before. He had perfect pitch after all.
Jae thought about various things from the way his viewers must be sprawled out on their beds, their hands doing the nasty to the sight and sound of him to how the girl in the cafe had scanned him up and down to some of his favorite videos he had saved on his phone but nothing helped enough for him to reach the orgasm he wanted so he forced himself to push further and even though his moans told otherwise, he definitely wasn't satisfied.
"F-fuck," he groaned louder than usual, wincing as he ejaculated all over his palm before turning the camera off with the other hand. As soon as the camera was done recording he whined loudly falling backward on his bed and flapped his limbs upon the mattress in distaste.
He was tired and just wanted to go back to sleep but he had his job and the only thing holding him to go back there was the fact that maybe the girl from yesterday was gonna be there today too. He finally gathered enough energy to get into his work clothes, that being a white shirt with slacks, and locked his apartment carelessly strolling down the stairs and into the streets.
He entered the shop looking around expectantly but was met only with disappointment. With a jutted-out bottom lip, he got behind the counter and tied the apron around his torso letting his skin breathe through the open buttons of his shirt. Jae waited till the coffee maker was ready to be used and then looked back up for any orders.
Where was Seok-Min today?
There were two girls as customers, probably on a date so he thought it'd be nice to take their order then. Young-Jae smiled to himself as he watched the two giggle. One of them leaned over the table to plant a chaste kiss on the other's lips but accidentally knocked over a glass of water on the way.
"Hi, you guys ready to order yet?", he asked as he picked up the glass with bare hands and called for one of the cleaners working on a nearby table.
"Yeah, I'm so sorry about the glass," the one who was sitting down replied in a soft apologetic tone but he shook his head dismissively with a gentle smile. They looked like nice and well-mannered women so he let them be and immediately slid the matter under the rug.
"That's okay," he replied and started jotting their order down. Once done, he turned around only to be met with the sight he was so desperate for. There she was, the girl from yesterday, striding forward in a white pantsuit with a hard-to-makeout expression on her face and another man following her. Definitely not the one she was with yesterday which probably meant she was here without her assistant.
Young-Jae watched as she sat down on the VIP chairs without anyone asking for her identity and crossed her legs over the other followed by her arms. The man followed her, sitting across from her in a submissive posture looking at her with a guilty expression that bewildered Jae.
~
"You have five minutes, once Joon gets here he's gonna throw you out himself," Minjae said poking her cheek with her tongue and the man in front of her, her ex-fiance began stuttering, not really knowing what to say or how to apologize.
"What? You were making quite a ruckus calling me a slut in my own office, what happened now?", she spat harshly, her grip tightening on her phone in her right pocket. Jiwon sighed in defeat and rubbed his palms over his cheeks, completely exhausted.
"I- Minjae, I'm really sorry, I'll be better for you," he whispered in hopes she'd accept him again and he'd have access to her money again but she knew all of his plans. Minjae sometimes felt like she knew people too well, that she saw through them too well while on other days she felt like it wasn't enough no matter how hard she tried to understand a few people, like Joon.
"No. Anything else? Also, I heard you had cheated on me?", she questioned, voice bold and full of strength with squinted eyes. She sighed when he looked down with pursed lips. The rumors were true then.
"Get up." Minjae waited for a few seconds before standing up abruptly and snapping her fingers pointing upward twice. "I said, get up and get the fuck out!", The girl had to tighten her grip around the tabletop to control herself from starting a physical fight she knew would only cause more mess and obviously wasn't morally correct at all.
The man slowly got up to his feet but didn't move an inch from his previous position.
"Oh and about the money that's missing from my accounts, you better return it before I raid your house," she warned loudly. By this time, the boy behind the counter, Jae was more than annoyed. She had seemed so elegant to him yesterday but what was this? It was not his business but he believed one should most definitely not make a scene in a place that doesn't belong to them.
He took off his apron and walked over to their table with his sleeves rolled up in frustration.
"Excuse me but I would like to request you both to leave this place. The owner of this place is known to be a very cranky person, if they get to know about this, you'll be in trouble," he stated firmly and looked right at Minjae. She seemed a little taken aback but her demeanor was never submissive.
"Jiwon, leave right now. I'm gonna have to deal with him," said man immediately scurried off outside the shop while Minjae hopped on top of the table resting her palms behind and crossed her legs over one another dangling off the edge.
"So this 'cranky' boss you're talking about, who is it again?", she asked, cockily tilting her head sideways. Jae had had enough of her attitude so he fisted his hands at his sides before slamming them onto the surface as he leaned over to intimidate her.
"He's a very rich man with powerful connections and no matter how rich you must be you can't possibly be richer than him. He won't even let you enter here if you keep up that attitude of yours," he spat harshly and Minjae nodded in mock appreciation of the description.
"Who do you think I am, Min Young Jae?", she chuckled throwing her head back as she saw surprise take over him. He was definitely taken aback by the fact that she knew his name in just a day. Jae never even wore his name tag. He remained speechless so she continued on. "Oh and Yoongi, I better see your name tag right here tomorrow onwards," Minjae grinned poking her finger on his chest where the tag was supposed to be and he huffed out loud with a scowl.
"Who are you to tell me what to do?", he asked quirking his brow at her in anger, faces still too close to be considered appropriate but the tension between them was way more important currently. Minjae only puckered her lips up and swung a business card out of her pocket.
"Darling, I am the rich man you're talking about."
'No, how could he- Was it really her?'Young-Jae was fucked in bold capital letters that were stamped across his forehead.He had to be a fool to not know his own boss' name or even face. Minjae's face was literally the least he could've known about his boss considering that he had been working here for over a whole month. The easiest shift of one to six at first since it mostly had a few customers who wanted a simple order of Iced Americano and some random dessert while they sat in the expensive cafe with their laptops and glasses out.Two weeks later, Seok-Min told him that the rest of the time was too busy and he needed help considering he worked full time so there Jae had stood, wearing his work shirt and apron as he placed orders on different tables, sweating profusely."Where'd you go, Min? Too flustered to clap back now?", Minjae laughed loud and obnoxious, obviously amused by his shocked st
Your hands itch to hold onto my hips, I wait for you to do it while I button your shirt back up. There is a smile, soft and hesitant as you whisper my name thrice under your breath. Once into the air, twice into my hair. A kiss to my forehead and handprints imprinted on my skin, once again I feel like I'm floating, walking on thin ice as I thank God for not letting you say it for the fourth time. Please break my heart, please love me, please want me, please hurt me. Do whatever you want w me, just let it be me. Right now, before, after let it be me and not him. - His phone dinged again when he was just about to turn the damn recorder again. He sighed annoyingly but opened her messages again. JAEMINMIN:How old are you? MINYOUNG-JAE:i'm 26 MINYOUNG-JAE:and u JAEMINMIN:
With a curt nod, Young-Jae scurried behind the counter to make the chamomile tea again while she fished her phone out, deciding to toy with him a little more. Young-Jae's phone dinged and he flinched very slightly but clicked on the notification thinking it was another comment on his cam account.JAEMINMIN:Hey :)MINYOUNG-JAE:hiJAEMINMIN: How are you? I just got a break at work.MINYOUNG-JAE:okMINYOUNG-JAE:hbuJAEMINMIN:I am good too.JAEMINMIN: Hey, your pictures are very nice!MINYOUNG-JAE:thanksJAEMINMIN: wanna see mine?The man ran a hand through his hair, thinking if he wanted to get rid of the mullet for a second but then again he thought it gave him a rich look so
Even the changing landscapes weren't enough to drown out how much I missed you. It is wrong, I know. It is not supposed to happen, I know but I still want to keep you close to me whenever and however possible. I know it might be for just a second but I would still choose a second in your arms over millions in somebody else's. The sun sets, lights drown out and that is when you come to me. You come to me when the ache from another 'her' returns and I welcome you with arms wide open. It could be days, weeks, months, years from now and I'd still welcome you with arms aching from being held up in the air because I know it is wrong, I know it is not supposed to happen but I will forever choose a second with you than millions with others. - Young-Jae had sent 'jaeminmin' a double text over two hours ago but she hadn't replied yet. He sighed finishing up after uploading his video on
Aren't half of your assets are supposed to be transferred to my name after the divorce is finalized?," he asked with a smirk but Minjae broke out into laughter."God, I'm so happy I didn't marry you. Please educate yourself before you talk to me, fucking uneducated bastard," she shook her head without even turning to face the man."Whatever, I'm here to return the ring and everything you bought for me," he gritted through his teeth, not wanting to return the luxuries but he had no choice because of his pride."Keep them. I don't want anything related to you near me. Oh and that includes you yourself.""Alright, I'll go but only after I have my coffee. You can't say no to that. I'm a customer and we wouldn't want a customer upset because he was denied service, now do we?", Jiwon grinned sadistically and Minjae's fists balled on
It's a weird thing isn't it? To touch someone and feel like you're on fire when it's your fingertips that are freezing cold. They shiver on their own as I run them down your neck, your collarbones, the dip between and you huff, half at how agonizingly slow the touch is and half at how incredibly it affects you, makes you fall apart without realisation. It is all so elevating, the hair at the nape of your neck stand, my skin ripples in goosebumps and yours follows the effect. There is a fingertip, cold, nimble and long in the middle of my back. It splays up and runs down till I shiver, back arching into you and I part my mouth from yours in a whimper. It really is weird, isn't it? I break for you, shatter and turn over inside my body all because I get to touch you and most importantly, I get to be touched by you. - Young-Jae only tilted his head in confusion as she went on talking to herself til
"Here try this. It's like the best pasta ever," Hyunexclaimed transferring a generous amount of the dish onto Minjae's platter. She sighed and took in a deep breath, he was constantly feeding her new dishes she would taste. Every dish that was good enough and passed Minjae's checkpoint arrived at Young-Jae who further examined whether or not it'd be perfected by him."I can't eat more," he whined tugging at Minjae's blazer sleeve and she whipped her head to him with furrowed brows and a very smile small on her face."I promise this will be the last for today. Do you not like the food?", she asked scrunching her nose up and he vigorously shook his head no. Of course, he liked the food, it was the most delicious lunch he had ever had except that one time Seok-Min had made him Bulgogi."My stomach is gonna burst I swear to god," he groaned holding a hand
I've started to miss you Pieces of you The fleeting touches I've started to miss them again. This time, I'm not sure if I'll ever not miss them. You stay next to me with me in your arms but your eyes search for somebody else, something else. Do you need more? Or do you need less? Do you need me? Or do you need her? What do you see when you look at me? Are you looking at me or are you looking at yourself in the mirror behind us? What do you want when you part your lips but never speak? What do you wish for when your eyes shine beneath me but you forget me the next minute? Do you see me? Or do you see another her? I've started to miss your touch, every second every minute. It's poisonous because what do you see when you look at me? Do you see me or do you see another her? - "Are we doing it right here?", he panicked, for the first time, he was so nervous about sex. Why? He had no idea either.
//If someone was to ask me why I write so much about you, or about love in general I would have no answer. What must I say? That you consume all over? Or does my love for you do that? How do I tell them that I had been so far banished from intimacy in all stages of my life that the mere sight of it feels like an opportunity to be grabbed? How do I tell a stranger that there is so much pain, so much suffering I've witnessed, been a part of, that I can't let out of my chest? It's like a dragon, chased and locked up in a cage so small it has compressed itself. How do I tell them that if I were to twist the cage's lock open, I'm afraid I'll never be able to close it again? That it'll chase away all that is left of me? All that I want to have and to be? I wonder if you'd be able to look past it, look past the green moss over my mind, past the rusting on my heart and finally see what I've been hiding? The little boy that had been far too afraid of what they said was 'love'.&nb
"Sometimes I wonder what's the point of this, everything after her but then I see you smile, listen to your laughter and let u kiss me. That's when, for a brief moment, I see. I see the point.The rain settles deep into my bones, I ache for things I do not know, things I did not know I could want. The door to my studio is open, you sit with your laptop spread out in front of you and I stare. I stare and find meaning in life once again. How much longer do I have to pretend that I do not love her?""Oh god Young Jae, all of this is so beautiful," She huffed a little. "You need to put it out in the world. I had no idea of the extent of pain you were going through. I just- God, I am so sorry.""You know, Noona, People say they want their lovers or more precisely, their loved ones to never hurt but when you were in Paris I used to wish that you did. I wished that the ache I have in my chest bounced off yours a
"I drive past that empty house sometimes, I wonder if I'll ever see you again. If you'll ever see me again. The lump in my throat is enough for me to turn around but I wish you'd see me somewhere and be brave enough to call out my name. The goodbye I didn't get to say lays crumpled up in a letter and in the texts I haven't sent to you. The agony of knowing you lay in someone's arms like you did in mine, is enough for me to have blinked my eyes clear of this fog. But oh god, my pens bleed onto paper, my thumbs bruise up against the keyboard. You are everything I write and i have become the ink that bleeds. No matter how much I struggle, even breaking through my shell, I leak all over the paper, still bleeding. And when the paper is flipped, the ink spots prettier than words ever could. They ask you to wipe me down but you too, are helpless as you gesture vaguely with your
The post wedding dinner was fun to say the least.The table was occupied by all the important people in their lives and a few acquaintainces were on the other table to their right. The couple sat next to each other, Minjae's hand clasped tightly in Young Jae's as if she could run away at ay given moment. Joon had wanted to make a joke about it but resorted to staying quiet for once.Hyun was sitting directly opposite to Young Jae on the circular table, poking around with this tteotbokki like it was as tasteless as it could get. Kim watched him lose focus a couple of times and frowned at the plate of food in front of him. Tteotbokki was his favourite, every single person around him knew that. What had caused this gloomy atmosphere over his head? Hyun seemed like he had come to terms with this reality a few weeks ago.Why the long face now?"Are you sure you are okay, Hyun? You have barely to
That’s how their dinner went, the two of them talking to one another with no shame, no filters, just complete utter love between them, and when it was time for dessert, Minjae got up and pulled a cake trolly in. It wasn’t until she poured him yet another glass of wine that he grew suspicious of her. Was she okay? Was she hiding something?“Hey Young-Jae, don’t mind but I would like it if you stay quiet for another ten minutes, kay? I need to get this done,” he hesitantly nodded, settling the glass back on the table and leaned back in his seat. “Ugh, oh my god, I’ve never been more nervous.”“Just say it-“ “Shut up.”He pursed his lips together, squinting his eyes at her th
“Fucking hell Min, you drive me crazy,” she moaned, hips dragging up against his crotch. Young-Jae shrugged tilting his head to the side with his tongue poking his cheek and the new surge of confidence had her knees weak. Does he have a glow up every week?Was that even possible?“Do I now? Why don’t show me how crazy at home?”, he teased cocking his head to signify that they were almost home. Her heartbeat shot up and for the first time, the infamously confident Minjae felt nervous. She felt as if Young-Jae was too attractive to be hers but now that he was, Jae couldn’t give him up for the world. So, with a nod and a gulp, they were tangled together on their bed.
"It's a weird thing isn't it? To touch someone and feel like you're on fire when it's your fingertips that are freezing cold. They shiver on their own as I run them down your neck, your collarbones, the dip between and you huff, half at how agonizingly slow the touch is and half at how incredibly it affects you, makes you fall apart without realisation. It is all so elevating, the hair at the nape of your neck stand, my skin ripples in goosebumps and yours follows the effect. There is a fingertip, cold, nimble and long in the middle of my back. It splays up and runs down till I shiver, back arching into you and I part my mouth from yours in a whimper. It really is weird, isn't it? I break for you, shatter and turn over inside my body all because I get to touch you and most importantly, I get to be touched by
"It's been years since I lost you. The years, the months, the days stay the same. Your birthday is always a warm day and I smile to myself the whole day. My birthday is always a cold day, you must've forgotten it but I remember every smile you gave me years back. The only thing that has changed is, that time seems to have slowed down. The days are lengthy, the nights are lengthy. I am either too warm or too cold, there is nothing intimate about it but it's been years since I lost you. Every January reminds me of all we could not be, every December reminds me of your insolent smiles and every September reminds me of all the suffering I have escaped.Your scent tucks me into bed, not only is it on my skin, it is in the air; lingering, breathing and settling deep inside me. It is November, I'm warm under the blanket
The hard ridges of your body press against the softness of mine. It's a different feeling, skin to skin and it's a different feeling to get lost in it. Your hair's grown out, I feel it under my fingertips and it barely stays in the gap of my fingers but as usual, everything looks lovely on you. However, the thing that looks exceptionally lovely on you is me.“Hey babe?”, he asked turning his head up to look at the beautiful girl who had him tight in his arms. She hummed with closed eyes and Young-Jae wrapped his leg over her waist with his arm around her shoulders, latching on like a Koala. Minjae chuckled again and picked his head up to drop a soft kiss to his forehead.“How much do you love me?”, he asked softly, snuggling against her shoulder till his lips over almost touching her jaw. “Wait, no, don’t