Young-Jae's hands furiously worked on the keyboard of his laptop, a cigarette clasped between his teeth, and his brows furrowed together into a frown. He was ordering a few accessories for himself, more specifically for his next Livestream. He pulled the cigarette out to blow the smoke out of his mouth as he leaned back in his chair putting it off on the ashtray kept by his side.
It was a never-tiring cycle for him, excitedly scrolling through so many products and imagining what he would look like wearing them or how it'd feel to have so much leather or metal on his skin. Would he like it? Would he not? Nevertheless, it was pretty much the only happy time he had.
He looked through almost every item available on the website currently, only two getting his attention. One a black leather choker and the other one being a matte black hand harness which he would completely body. After placing his order, Young-Jae closed his laptop and got up from his apparently 'gaming' chair to go take a shower.
He wanted to try out something new too but nothing interested him enough these days. Life was getting sullen with every coming day since he basically had zero personal life, almost no friends, and a fucked up family he left back in Daegu years ago. His life was the perfectly like smoke of cigarette that was left behind in his room like the aftermath of the last one, one with a dash of baked desserts, and espresso that reminded him that his shift was in half an hour.
"I fucking hate this shit," he grumbled under his breath. "Why does it have to be so early anyway?", still whining with all of his body, Young-Jae worked to get his clothes off while putting on music and soon enough, turned the shower on. Nothing a warm shower couldn't fix for him.
He stood under the hot water pouring from the showerhead as steam formed in his bathroom, slightly fogging the glass. He washed up taking his time and walked out with just a towel around himself. He stood in front of the full-sized mirror with neon pink LED lights emitting from all around it and turned around to check himself out. The tattoos on his back shining in the light.
He ruffled his hair with the damp towel to dry them off and dressed up in washed jeans and a black shirt. Jae put his sunglasses and watch on before walking out carelessly with his phone in hand. The door locked automatically behind him with a subtle click. He was walking to his workplace right around the corner when his eyes caught glimpse of a woman who looked snobbily rich getting out of a luxurious black Jaguar across the street, a tall bulky man accompanying her as she walked towards the coffee shop. Whoever that was, Young-Jae was absolutely stunned.
Her long fingers and hands were waving in the air gracefully as she instructed the man he assumed must be her assistant, about god knows what. He watched the girl enter the shop, not even sparing a single glance around as she did. So, naturally, Young-Jae got in too while watching her from afar as she took a seat on one of the carved wooden chairs behind a few other tables, sturdy legs crossed over each other. Her shirt slightly tightened around her breasts as she held up a hand in the air with eyes strictly glued onto the menu, perhaps ready to order.
Young-Jae bit his lip, wanting to take her order but his co-worker, Seok-Min beat him to it. The girl smiled in gratefulness as the latter repeated her order correctly while Jae quickly scrambled behind the counter and threw his apron on, removing his shades to look professional, slightly.
~
"I'm thinking of going on a break from all this work, what do you say Joon?", Minjae said poking her inner cheek with her tongue as Joon took a seat from across her. The man shrugged, one elbow rested on the table while his other hand toyed with his phone, scratching at the baby blue cover mindlessly.
"You should, I can handle a little extra work," he recommended now resting both his elbows on the table to give her all his attention with another shrug. He then realized that he shrugged a lot.
"Are you trying to say my work is just a little?", she said, feigning hurt, and even though she was just teasing, Min-Jae couldn't help her usual hard tone. Joon chuckled shaking his head and leaned back with a fond smile gracing his lips.
"I didn't mean it like tha-", She put a hand up, her gaze now somewhere behind him as she cut off all his explanation. Joon followed her gaze leading him to a comparatively small barista standing behind the counter, a little distracted to be called 'working', he thought.
Minjae watched the man then pour coffee into a small golden cup, his visibly pale hands looking extremely attractive in her eyes as he stirred the strainer. The black shirt he adorned was open a button or two more than necessary. She internally drooled at the sight of his clearly dyed silver hair that curtained his small eyes and silver earrings dangling from his ears. He looked like a pop icon.
"Okay," Joon groaned, covering his face with his palms in embarrassment. "Can you at least keep your mouth shut? We're in public Min," The girl seemed unfazed by his shame but decided to speak instead of shutting her mouth. What could she do? He really was good-looking.
"He's stunning, who is he?", Minjae pried, leaning a little more into the table all the while not taking her eyes off the cute Barista that she happened to like a little too much if one asked Joon.
"He just works here I guess, don't even think about doing something with him, he could turn out be a scammer or something for all we know," Joon suggested softly speaking even through his glare but she shushed him again, hand waving frantically with an eye roll that was clearly exaggeration.
Young-Jae's eyes slowly moved upwards, locking directly with her and Minjae gulped visibly. He raised an eyebrow arrogantly as if questioning her actions but it only made her gut twist in excitement. She looked away when the waiter came to Jae's side, and he followed suit.
She didn't look at him again but she knew he was looking at her too, anybody would've known with the way he was so obvious with it. Minjae's lips formed a cat-like grin at the thought. The waiter came, settling her coffee in front of her and Namjoon's in front of him. The two got up and left as soon as they had paid for it, Namjoon following her closely.
~
Youngjae on the other hand was determined to know the girl he had just laid eyes on. He watched her leave the shop and get into her car. He had seen prettier girls but she had an aura around her that made her more attractive than those he had experience with. He wanted to know who she was and why she looked at him once but not again. He didn't get any answers, it wasn't time yet.
As soon as his shift was over he rushed back home, desperately wanting to get changed out of the jeans that almost boiled him. Also, he was starving. Young-Jae punched in the passcode of his small apartment kicking his shoes and jeans off before he hurried to the kitchen to make instant noodles for himself.
He put the water on for boiling and connected his phone to the Bluetooth speakers once again and clicked on the complete discography of 'two feet'. It had become a habit now. He cooked the noodles in as much of a rush as he could, stomach growling out of hunger since he couldn't wait longer. A string of curses left his lips for his boss who basically made him a workhorse.
~
As soon as Minjae had walked out of the coffee shop, Joon was onto finding out who the barista guy was. He knew Minjae too well and if she had asked for somebody's details then she definitely liked them, no waste of effort since it had happened only once before, that too for Jiwoon so he agreed to it without another word.
In not more than twenty minutes, Joon had found out his name and background information along with his twitter username. He provided all the details, leaving everything else upto her. It wasn't like Minjae was going to listen to him anyway. She only did what she wanted to, regardless of the methods she used to do it. Stalker or not, Minjae had more than enough details about the boy.
I feel your hands on me hours after you're gone, my fingertips feel like I had them dipped into your cologne when in actuality, everything I touch turns into you. You might not be here right now but I flush like your eyes are still above mine, full of mischief and mirth. And when I turn over in bed, all I feel is the unstable beating of your heart. Tell me now, was it just lies or were your brown eyes lying when they told me how beautiful I looked? My muscles ache, my body writhes; only because even when you're away, you're close enough. - Young Jae had just finished his food when his phone's screen lit up and the music toned down slightly telling him that he just got a notification. He grabbed it only to find someone had followed his personal Twitter account. He frowned opening the notification since he never really used that account, he just used the NSFW one. 'Ja
'No, how could he- Was it really her?'Young-Jae was fucked in bold capital letters that were stamped across his forehead.He had to be a fool to not know his own boss' name or even face. Minjae's face was literally the least he could've known about his boss considering that he had been working here for over a whole month. The easiest shift of one to six at first since it mostly had a few customers who wanted a simple order of Iced Americano and some random dessert while they sat in the expensive cafe with their laptops and glasses out.Two weeks later, Seok-Min told him that the rest of the time was too busy and he needed help considering he worked full time so there Jae had stood, wearing his work shirt and apron as he placed orders on different tables, sweating profusely."Where'd you go, Min? Too flustered to clap back now?", Minjae laughed loud and obnoxious, obviously amused by his shocked st
Your hands itch to hold onto my hips, I wait for you to do it while I button your shirt back up. There is a smile, soft and hesitant as you whisper my name thrice under your breath. Once into the air, twice into my hair. A kiss to my forehead and handprints imprinted on my skin, once again I feel like I'm floating, walking on thin ice as I thank God for not letting you say it for the fourth time. Please break my heart, please love me, please want me, please hurt me. Do whatever you want w me, just let it be me. Right now, before, after let it be me and not him. - His phone dinged again when he was just about to turn the damn recorder again. He sighed annoyingly but opened her messages again. JAEMINMIN:How old are you? MINYOUNG-JAE:i'm 26 MINYOUNG-JAE:and u JAEMINMIN:
With a curt nod, Young-Jae scurried behind the counter to make the chamomile tea again while she fished her phone out, deciding to toy with him a little more. Young-Jae's phone dinged and he flinched very slightly but clicked on the notification thinking it was another comment on his cam account.JAEMINMIN:Hey :)MINYOUNG-JAE:hiJAEMINMIN: How are you? I just got a break at work.MINYOUNG-JAE:okMINYOUNG-JAE:hbuJAEMINMIN:I am good too.JAEMINMIN: Hey, your pictures are very nice!MINYOUNG-JAE:thanksJAEMINMIN: wanna see mine?The man ran a hand through his hair, thinking if he wanted to get rid of the mullet for a second but then again he thought it gave him a rich look so
Even the changing landscapes weren't enough to drown out how much I missed you. It is wrong, I know. It is not supposed to happen, I know but I still want to keep you close to me whenever and however possible. I know it might be for just a second but I would still choose a second in your arms over millions in somebody else's. The sun sets, lights drown out and that is when you come to me. You come to me when the ache from another 'her' returns and I welcome you with arms wide open. It could be days, weeks, months, years from now and I'd still welcome you with arms aching from being held up in the air because I know it is wrong, I know it is not supposed to happen but I will forever choose a second with you than millions with others. - Young-Jae had sent 'jaeminmin' a double text over two hours ago but she hadn't replied yet. He sighed finishing up after uploading his video on
Aren't half of your assets are supposed to be transferred to my name after the divorce is finalized?," he asked with a smirk but Minjae broke out into laughter."God, I'm so happy I didn't marry you. Please educate yourself before you talk to me, fucking uneducated bastard," she shook her head without even turning to face the man."Whatever, I'm here to return the ring and everything you bought for me," he gritted through his teeth, not wanting to return the luxuries but he had no choice because of his pride."Keep them. I don't want anything related to you near me. Oh and that includes you yourself.""Alright, I'll go but only after I have my coffee. You can't say no to that. I'm a customer and we wouldn't want a customer upset because he was denied service, now do we?", Jiwon grinned sadistically and Minjae's fists balled on
It's a weird thing isn't it? To touch someone and feel like you're on fire when it's your fingertips that are freezing cold. They shiver on their own as I run them down your neck, your collarbones, the dip between and you huff, half at how agonizingly slow the touch is and half at how incredibly it affects you, makes you fall apart without realisation. It is all so elevating, the hair at the nape of your neck stand, my skin ripples in goosebumps and yours follows the effect. There is a fingertip, cold, nimble and long in the middle of my back. It splays up and runs down till I shiver, back arching into you and I part my mouth from yours in a whimper. It really is weird, isn't it? I break for you, shatter and turn over inside my body all because I get to touch you and most importantly, I get to be touched by you. - Young-Jae only tilted his head in confusion as she went on talking to herself til
"Here try this. It's like the best pasta ever," Hyunexclaimed transferring a generous amount of the dish onto Minjae's platter. She sighed and took in a deep breath, he was constantly feeding her new dishes she would taste. Every dish that was good enough and passed Minjae's checkpoint arrived at Young-Jae who further examined whether or not it'd be perfected by him."I can't eat more," he whined tugging at Minjae's blazer sleeve and she whipped her head to him with furrowed brows and a very smile small on her face."I promise this will be the last for today. Do you not like the food?", she asked scrunching her nose up and he vigorously shook his head no. Of course, he liked the food, it was the most delicious lunch he had ever had except that one time Seok-Min had made him Bulgogi."My stomach is gonna burst I swear to god," he groaned holding a hand
//If someone was to ask me why I write so much about you, or about love in general I would have no answer. What must I say? That you consume all over? Or does my love for you do that? How do I tell them that I had been so far banished from intimacy in all stages of my life that the mere sight of it feels like an opportunity to be grabbed? How do I tell a stranger that there is so much pain, so much suffering I've witnessed, been a part of, that I can't let out of my chest? It's like a dragon, chased and locked up in a cage so small it has compressed itself. How do I tell them that if I were to twist the cage's lock open, I'm afraid I'll never be able to close it again? That it'll chase away all that is left of me? All that I want to have and to be? I wonder if you'd be able to look past it, look past the green moss over my mind, past the rusting on my heart and finally see what I've been hiding? The little boy that had been far too afraid of what they said was 'love'.&nb
"Sometimes I wonder what's the point of this, everything after her but then I see you smile, listen to your laughter and let u kiss me. That's when, for a brief moment, I see. I see the point.The rain settles deep into my bones, I ache for things I do not know, things I did not know I could want. The door to my studio is open, you sit with your laptop spread out in front of you and I stare. I stare and find meaning in life once again. How much longer do I have to pretend that I do not love her?""Oh god Young Jae, all of this is so beautiful," She huffed a little. "You need to put it out in the world. I had no idea of the extent of pain you were going through. I just- God, I am so sorry.""You know, Noona, People say they want their lovers or more precisely, their loved ones to never hurt but when you were in Paris I used to wish that you did. I wished that the ache I have in my chest bounced off yours a
"I drive past that empty house sometimes, I wonder if I'll ever see you again. If you'll ever see me again. The lump in my throat is enough for me to turn around but I wish you'd see me somewhere and be brave enough to call out my name. The goodbye I didn't get to say lays crumpled up in a letter and in the texts I haven't sent to you. The agony of knowing you lay in someone's arms like you did in mine, is enough for me to have blinked my eyes clear of this fog. But oh god, my pens bleed onto paper, my thumbs bruise up against the keyboard. You are everything I write and i have become the ink that bleeds. No matter how much I struggle, even breaking through my shell, I leak all over the paper, still bleeding. And when the paper is flipped, the ink spots prettier than words ever could. They ask you to wipe me down but you too, are helpless as you gesture vaguely with your
The post wedding dinner was fun to say the least.The table was occupied by all the important people in their lives and a few acquaintainces were on the other table to their right. The couple sat next to each other, Minjae's hand clasped tightly in Young Jae's as if she could run away at ay given moment. Joon had wanted to make a joke about it but resorted to staying quiet for once.Hyun was sitting directly opposite to Young Jae on the circular table, poking around with this tteotbokki like it was as tasteless as it could get. Kim watched him lose focus a couple of times and frowned at the plate of food in front of him. Tteotbokki was his favourite, every single person around him knew that. What had caused this gloomy atmosphere over his head? Hyun seemed like he had come to terms with this reality a few weeks ago.Why the long face now?"Are you sure you are okay, Hyun? You have barely to
That’s how their dinner went, the two of them talking to one another with no shame, no filters, just complete utter love between them, and when it was time for dessert, Minjae got up and pulled a cake trolly in. It wasn’t until she poured him yet another glass of wine that he grew suspicious of her. Was she okay? Was she hiding something?“Hey Young-Jae, don’t mind but I would like it if you stay quiet for another ten minutes, kay? I need to get this done,” he hesitantly nodded, settling the glass back on the table and leaned back in his seat. “Ugh, oh my god, I’ve never been more nervous.”“Just say it-“ “Shut up.”He pursed his lips together, squinting his eyes at her th
“Fucking hell Min, you drive me crazy,” she moaned, hips dragging up against his crotch. Young-Jae shrugged tilting his head to the side with his tongue poking his cheek and the new surge of confidence had her knees weak. Does he have a glow up every week?Was that even possible?“Do I now? Why don’t show me how crazy at home?”, he teased cocking his head to signify that they were almost home. Her heartbeat shot up and for the first time, the infamously confident Minjae felt nervous. She felt as if Young-Jae was too attractive to be hers but now that he was, Jae couldn’t give him up for the world. So, with a nod and a gulp, they were tangled together on their bed.
"It's a weird thing isn't it? To touch someone and feel like you're on fire when it's your fingertips that are freezing cold. They shiver on their own as I run them down your neck, your collarbones, the dip between and you huff, half at how agonizingly slow the touch is and half at how incredibly it affects you, makes you fall apart without realisation. It is all so elevating, the hair at the nape of your neck stand, my skin ripples in goosebumps and yours follows the effect. There is a fingertip, cold, nimble and long in the middle of my back. It splays up and runs down till I shiver, back arching into you and I part my mouth from yours in a whimper. It really is weird, isn't it? I break for you, shatter and turn over inside my body all because I get to touch you and most importantly, I get to be touched by
"It's been years since I lost you. The years, the months, the days stay the same. Your birthday is always a warm day and I smile to myself the whole day. My birthday is always a cold day, you must've forgotten it but I remember every smile you gave me years back. The only thing that has changed is, that time seems to have slowed down. The days are lengthy, the nights are lengthy. I am either too warm or too cold, there is nothing intimate about it but it's been years since I lost you. Every January reminds me of all we could not be, every December reminds me of your insolent smiles and every September reminds me of all the suffering I have escaped.Your scent tucks me into bed, not only is it on my skin, it is in the air; lingering, breathing and settling deep inside me. It is November, I'm warm under the blanket
The hard ridges of your body press against the softness of mine. It's a different feeling, skin to skin and it's a different feeling to get lost in it. Your hair's grown out, I feel it under my fingertips and it barely stays in the gap of my fingers but as usual, everything looks lovely on you. However, the thing that looks exceptionally lovely on you is me.“Hey babe?”, he asked turning his head up to look at the beautiful girl who had him tight in his arms. She hummed with closed eyes and Young-Jae wrapped his leg over her waist with his arm around her shoulders, latching on like a Koala. Minjae chuckled again and picked his head up to drop a soft kiss to his forehead.“How much do you love me?”, he asked softly, snuggling against her shoulder till his lips over almost touching her jaw. “Wait, no, don’t