Chrisanna "Are you really into this guy or is he kind of rebound?" mama asks as she watches me dress up while unloading the laundry basket.I clear my throat as I look at myself in the mirror. A red sweatshirt and blue jeans always seemed like a terrible combination to me but I feel like I should do more stuff I don't like."He's good. Not a spoiled brat", I tell Mama as I bend down to tie my shoelaces. "This is not a reason for going out with someone though", she says. "I just wanna make sure no one is hurt in this process. Not even the boy. Make sure he knows he's a rebound if he really is. Okay? You don't wanna hurt good people", she passes me a half smile and walks away.I let out a deep sigh. It's just a dinner date! And I'm sure I won't take things further with Leo if it doesn't work out. * I come out of the house with my bicycle when my eyes pop out at the opposite side of the road. Samuel is standing there with his bicycle, darting his eyes on the gate."What are you doing
ChrisannaNothing feels the same after what happened in the hospital cabin that day. It's been two days since I met Samuel. Two whole days— the longest duration ever since he came back. And I miss him like hell. However, I can't find the courage to face it after that day. I feel embarrassed and scared. What was I doing? I couldn't hold onto myself, despite the situation and I don't even know what he feels about it. I just remember our intense eye contact and the disappointment and fear in his eyes. He feared things would change between us just because I was not looking at him for seconds. And I went with the flow. I lost my mind. I also remember the look in his eyes when I parted away. He was stunned. Then I just walked away without looking at him for once. I feel like crap for not reaching him out for the next two days when he has been home. I went to school alone. People asked me about him. I told them about his progress which I eventually got to know from Mama. She might have
Chrisanna "I won't continue if you don't wanna hear", he says in a lower tone, his gaze lowering."No!" I exclaim, turning to him with a worried grin. "I just needed some time to process this and you're definitely telling me"He's still struggling to speak. It's indeed a lot and I'm wondering how he kept this secret for so long and for how long that bastard must be grooming a literal minor like him. "It was going fine. I was only meeting him and talking to him. It felt good actually. But I was pretty clear that I didn't want anything more than this for now. I was aware of the situation. He's an adult and I'm a minor. I didn't want him to even touch me differently and he was really okay with it first", his voice becomes heavy and I can clearly see where this is going.I'm definitely not ready for it and I'm praying hard for my assumptions to come false.I hold his hand with an assuring squeeze. He gulps down and continues. "One day I went to meet him in the old maintenance like ever
Chrisanna I could manage to bring Eric to the school. He got a bit of courage after talking his heart out with me. It's indeed the best therapy to just talk. "Sometimes we just snap at a silly problem", Samuel says to Eric as we walk through the corridor. "I bet you were not even thinking about the college two weeks ago"Eric nods."Just relax. No one exactly knows what they are capable of. You'll get it", Samuel adds.We lied to him. I LIED to him. It sucks. But there's nothing we could do. We told him Eric is disturbed about his dropping grades and it suddenly overwhelmed him. "See you on lunch", Samuel passes me a small smile and squeezes my hand lightly before walking into his English class.I and Eric walk towards the geography class as he lets out a sigh."You okay?" I ask."I'm feeling bad that you had to lie to Samuel for me", he says."It's fine. It would be wrong if the secret was about me. I'm keeping your secret and it has nothing to do with my friendship with Samuel.
Chrisanna"Where did you get the address?" Eric whispers as we hide behind the bushes with our bicycles outside Volkov's house."I sneaked into paa's laptop", I say, keeping my eyes darted on the door. "You did? That must be protected!""Nah. All his passwords are easy to crack if he's your father. Lol! Put the nickname he gave to Mama! Cracked!""You're fucking smart", he exclaims. "But what are we even doing here?""Keeping an eye on that asshole", I tell him."Chrissie!" Eric lets out a deep sigh. "We can't just spy on him and hope for something good""Well, we can", I turn to him. "He's a horrible person and there's no way he's doing everything right in his life. If he can assault someone and blackmail them, he can have more secrets""And what are we supposed to do with them?" he groans."We're gonna do it in his own way", I chuckle and hear the door of the car opening. Looking through the bushes, I watch his car leave. "Darn. We need to follow him", I hurriedly get onto my bicy
SamuelI'm sorry for letting my insecurity question you. I'm sorry for being the overthinker to always fearing that you would find someone better than me.I'm sorry for being jealous of every person you look at the way you look at me. That's all I want to tell her. But I can't.On her balcony, she's sitting on the swing beside me, with her legs crossed and her head on my shoulder. "You okay?" she asks me, pressing her chin against my shoulder. "Yeah", I whisper."You haven't uttered a single word for an hour now", she tells me."Don't you like the way you enjoy the silence together?" I look at the sky, covered with millions of twinkling stars. "Sometimes silence feels good when conversations become vague and weird""Why do you feel like our conversation became vague?" her voice is filled with surprise.Because you're lying to me, firefly. And I don't know why God makes me see it. I wish I never got to know you were lying about certain things. I would love to stay in delusions as I
Chrisanna"WHERE'S MY DRESS?" my scream echoes around the entire villa. "Where's my damn dress, mama!""Ivanna isn't home, sweetie. Hear me out", Fifi says as I have already made a mess all over the room. I'm running out of time. When I came back from the salon, my dress wasn't there. I clearly remember that I left it on the bed. "Your dress accidentally got dirty", Fifi says, making me almost jump out as I surge towards her."What?""Yeah. Lesley came for mopping. She accidentally dropped the cleaning solution onto it. I sent it immediately to the laundry so it doesn't get ruined"No!Heck!No!I feel like dying already because I hunted the dress down after storming into four different malls. It was so perfect just how Samuel might have wanted it. All my excitement and happiness fade away. "Chrissie!" Fifi holds my shoulder. "Sweetie, don't get upset. You have plenty of dresses. You'll look like a princess anything you wear"I slump onto the bed, mumbling. "Samuel would love the g
SamuelChrisanna is fast asleep when I come to the balcony to suck in the fresh air. She asked me what she did wrong. And I told her she didn't do anything wrong. It's me. I'm the problem and it was altogether my fault. Teenagers are stupid.Teenagers with messed up childhood are the problem.That day, I left, not because I thought she was betraying me, not because Dad's words had pushed me to think worse about her. I left because I was scared of how my subconscious started to question her. I was scared to hurt her for the person I was slowly turning into. An insecure one. She didn't deserve that person. The problematic one. All these years, I was blaming her because it seemed to be easy to live with it. But deep down, I knew I blamed myself all the way and never thought I was worthy of her. Every day. Every night. I thought about her.She was never out of my head. Never once. I would hear her voice in the background when I would talk to Uncle Scott. I would see his pictures on h