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Chapter 20
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2021-12-09 00:24:00She felt a sting of pain and closed her eyes. Why did it seem impossible to escape the hands of fate? Was the curse too strong to be broken? Was it her destiny to follow the path of her ancestors?
"No, Magnus. I'll never be your mistress. I'll never be any man's mistress."
"Don't get me wrong, my love. I don't intend to buy you. I know you will never set a price for your love. You know I love you and respect you as well. But we have no other way. If we want to stay together, it's the best we can do."
"No, Magnus. I'd better leave you than being your mistress. I've promised myself, no matter how hard life might be, no matter how impossible it might seem, I'll never choose that path. I will never be called whore, and my children will never be called bastards."
She pushed him and sidestepped around him. He grabbed her hand.
"I never give a damn about whatever people think, I'll never see you as a whore. Why do you care about people's false opinions rather than what's real and true between us? I know it would not run smooth for us, but I'm willing to stay because I love you. You said you love me, isn't it worth a little sacrifice?
"I do love you." She turned to face him. "But I can never be your mistress. My conscience wouldn't allow me, no matter how much I love you. Even if I don't care about the people, you think I would be happy knowing one day you would be married to another woman? I'm not a woman who shares my man."
Magnus gave her a desperate look.
"But I can't let you go. I love you so much. Tell me what should I do to keep you by my side?"
"Marry me, Magnus. Soon. The duke has made it clear that if I meet you ever again, he would call Roger and my father. If they find me, Roger will be taking me at once. He has the right. I'm bound to him in a legal contract that the king himself couldn't break it. If you think I'm worth a little sacrifice, marry me soon. But if you think otherwise, leave me now and never look back."
"If I could choose, I swear I would marry you, a thousand times if you like. But I can't... I would be banned forever from my family, I would be deprived of all my birth rights, it would cause a great deal of scandal, and..." He ceased talking when he saw her hurtful expression.
"Don't! Don't think I choose my noble life over you... Be sensible, Ava. If I were to be stripped of my privileges, you would not like it as well. Ashton would cut off my allowance and I could provide you nothing."
"I'm not afraid to live a simple life, we can work..." she stopped when he shook his head.
"It's impossible."
"You've made your choice." She turned away.
"Ava, wait! All right, I will marry you now, you tell me how!"
"We should leave to Gretna Green tonight. It's the only way... If we are married by law, your family, even the duke would no longer be able to separate us, and the contract that bound me would be void."
"Gretna Green, you mean... eloping?"
"Yes, I don't need you to give me a house full of servants and a lot of money, Magnus. I love you, not the conveniences and privileges that come with you. We can move to another town and live far from your family. All I need is you and only you."
"I'm sorry, love. I don't think it's a good idea..."
She took a step back. "So... I guess we're saying goodbye..." she turned away, but he reached her again.
"Ava, wait. I have a better idea. After I finish my lesson with the captain, I will challenge Ashton a duel. If I win, the prize is freedom to choose my own bride. I will marry you in a honorable way..."
"And if you lose?"
"I will not lose. Not this time. I need you to trust me, promise me you will wait for me..."
"For how long?"
"I don't know, but it won't be long. A few months maybe..."
"So you're going to make me wait in uncertainty? Without knowing when I will see you again..."
He breathed harshly in frustration.
"Ava, don't push me too far... I'm not ready for anything you're asking me to do. Besides, I still have some unfinished business here. I have to finish what I've started with the captain. I have lessons to complete. The marriage thing... the elopement idea is just..." He halted, seemed beaten and tortured.
"I can't take too much a distraction now. I really need to do this, I need to prove that I can be better than Ashton, at least in one thing."
His voice firm and determined at the statement, not uncertain and doubtful like when he was answering her demand. Until now, she had never known how bad the bitter rivalry had consumed him.
"I can't put my life at stake, Magnus... Even if you win, I don't think you can marry me so easily..."
He gave a painful sigh.
"Then think about Nouvelle. It's the best I can offer you for now. And believe me, it's the best any man can offer you."
She felt as if a thousand tiny sharp points pricking her heart inside and it was bleeding all over.
"I swear I will make you happy. To me you will always be my wife in every way that matters. Don't care too much about the people. They don't know the least bit about us. Don't give up what we have just to escape people's rotten judgement..."
She released her hand from his grip and made a long, hasty step out of the barn, into the heavy rain.
"So people's opinions matter more to you than our love?!!" She heard him shouting behind her, but he didn't stop her this time.
"All right! I promise I will come to you soon after I defeat him!" He shouted again.
"But if you change your mind, you know where to find me!"
*****
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Dark clouds were laying heavy on her heart. There had been no sunshine since they had been apart. The sun still rose and shone every morning just the same as it did yesterday, but she couldn't feel the light nor the warmth. She was empty inside, on her own.She didn't know which hurt her more. That they couldn't see each other anymore or that he couldn't make her more than his mistress.She was such a fool. What made her think he would ever plan to marry her? Moreover, what made her think he would be willing to run away with her, leaving his privileged life behind and never looked back? She wasn't worth it. He was right, what he offered was the best any man could offer her. She was nothing but a pariah, she wasn't fit for any decent man, let alone the nobility. In her naivety she thought she could climb higher than any of the women of her family, but the truth was she could never escape the filth that ran in her blood, imprinted in her genes
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Instantly, Ava moved her gaze to the lady next to him. Sitting elegantly beside her dashing fiancé, Lady Selene Wyndham was an epitome of beauty and grace. Ava had never seen anything quite like her. She was... perfection. The lady had a classic beauty of an aristocratic woman. She had a heart-shaped face with a pair of almond-shaped eyes, with thick and long lashes framed her sapphire blue orbs. Her straight and narrow nose pointed high, Ava imagined a little bird could perch on it, and her thin lips were taut, seemed like she was not into humor and hilarity. Her hair was a blonde color in the lightest shade that her pale forehead seemed to merge with her hairline. She wore sapphires in her hair and neck, matching her eyes and her light blue gown in an understated elegance.The following barouche brought Princess Charlotte and Lord Wyndham, and the last one brought Lord Carlton and Lady Cecily. Ava didn't saw Magnus there. Apparently he didn't join the p
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Ashton froze instantly. Had he been so reckless that she noticed what he did secretly? He had done it in the slightest way possible. He managed to reply in a cool tone as well."I thought I saw someone, but I was quite mistaken." The less he spoke about it the better. Fortunately Selene didn't push him further. He was glad they reached the manor shortly afterward. The Wyndham family retired to their room. The lunch reception was still a few hours away. He withdrew to a quiet living room, allowing himself to have some privacy for a while. His mind was consumed by the earlier moment. The fact that Selene was aware of it disturbed him. He recalled the moment at the parade.He was waving to greet the people when he felt someone was staring at him. Actually everybody was staring at him at that time. He was the main spectacle at the moment, the reason people were coming and waiting. What else should they be doing?But it was d
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"How are you feeling now, my dear?" Lady Byrne asked her in the afternoon after the parade while Ava was serving her some biscuits and tea."I'm fine, milady." She smiled and returned her gaze shortly while pouring the tea. Lady Byrne knew most of the story. She had told her everything except her true identity. When Magnus suddenly disappeared from her life, the lady never stopped questioning her about it and finally, she gave in to her demands. Besides, she had found that the lady was a true friend indeed, not a careless gossiper like she presumed before.She was just about to leave to the kitchen, pretending to refill the empty teapot when the lady touched her hand."You're not fine, my dear. Your lips are smiling but your eyes are not. Your eyes have stopped crying but your heart has not."Ava couldn't find a word to reply."Come and have a s
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Soon they left the busy street and reached a rural area. Ashton slanted up the small hill fast. He had anticipated that this was the only path which the market street led to, so he had his horse waiting for him uphill. Soon he caught up her again from up above. She was easier to spy on than the other target.Ava arrived at home in the lunch hour as usual. Today was passing like any other day, but she knew today she would change her life some other way. She was on a crossroad. She had come to a point that she decided she couldn't live like this anymore, but she hadn't made up her mind yet. She finished her daily chores, took a quick bath and changed her clothes. Soon after everything had done, she stepped out of the house and walked along the lane, into the grassland spread downhill.She drifted aimlessly through the meadow. All she needed was time for herself, without noise or interruption. Time to contemplate her choices. Time to tune into
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She contemplated the words. If it was true, it meant the man she loved would stay beside her for all her life. Well, it could be... but she didn't want a lifetime affair."Will I live in proper and righteous way?""I have no doubt. I see great power and wealth and honor."Polly was right, the dramatic and hyperbolic prophecy was getting tedious now. It was impossible for any decent man to have her. It would have sounded less nonsense if the woman said she was going to marry a villager, a man with lowly status and a humble beginnings who didn't require a respectable background from her. A man who could marry whoever he wanted. She smiled at the thought. Indeed, the people who had nothing were the people who had the infinite freedom. But if her prophecy was true...She shivered at the first thought crossed her mind. If she was going to marry properly and live in nobility, chances were she would be marr
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A silhouette stood in the dark, beneath the trees. The moon rose, sending moonbeams through the leaves and for a moment the figure looked like a ghostly shadow. Until his silver locks gleaming at a ray of light.Ava gasped when she recognized him. In the midst of the dark with moonlight illuminated his face, he looked like an angel of death.The scarred man who held her grinned maliciously."Look who's joining the feast."He made a quick scan of the duke's simple yet well-made clothing."Tis' fancy blueblood will make a great deal of fortune." He cocked his head."Finish him, Gully."The gloomy villain stormed to him like a ravenous animal. Her eyes widened as she noticed the man looked like a hulking beast compared to the duke's tall and slender figure.It happened too fast she could barely see anything. A sudden whistling, a flash of white light, then all s
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She sensed his resistance instantly as he stiffened and pulled his hand off. She knew it wasn't for the pain but his distaste to her touch."Hold on, please let me help you. The bleeding is awful. We have to bind your wound."Studying his wound with a quick glance, he found her reasonable. He was seriously injured and needed immediate care. There's no point in denying her help."If you will allow me, it won't take long ..." she glanced up to see his reaction, but his expression was indecipherable. "May I ..." She reached his hand very carefully, fearing he would shrug her off at once.He didn't. She wrapped and tied the handkerchief around his hand, a trickle of blood soaking the white fabric, but the bleeding had slowed down. She felt him watching silently, and she got a bit nervous. As soon as she finished the task, she pulled off and stepped back.She seemed restless and regre
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Ava blanched upon hearing his oath. She'd never heard such ferocity in a person's voice. Quick to notice her sudden pallor, Ashton took her hand, murmured some excuse to Aunt Cecily and Magnus, and led her out of the room."Your hands are so cold," He looked down at her hand in his hold with concerned frown. Too overwhelmed with distress, she let him take her to her chamber upstairs."Nobody will know about it." He said once the door closed behind them, and when she remained mute, pale and cold with fear, he headed to the sideboard and poured a glass of brandy. He made her finish the drink in two long swallows, and took the empty glass from her trembling hand. Setting the glass in the nearest sideboard, he placed his hands on her arms, forcing her to look directly into his eyes."Listen, I've told the guards never to breathe a word about it to anyone. I'll replace them immediately. Don't be afraid, I won't let anything bad happen to y
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It seemed like the matter was urgent and highly confidential, Uncle Carlton didn't even leave his name on the message. Pulling the top drawer, he slipped the note beneath the piles of documents and rushed out of the room.*****By the time Ava returned to the study, an empty room greeted her. A sudden sense of premonition settled over her, and she instantly suppressed it. He might have retired to his chamber, or he might have been doing some other activity in another parlor somewhere in the house, she told herself. Still, she couldn't help but quicken her pace as she rushed through the house, desperate to find him as soon as possible."Edward, where's my husband?" She asked when she came across the butler in the corridor. The butler halted and bowed."His Grace has left the house a few minutes ago, Your Grace."Her heart immediately missed a beat."What?! Where?""I
