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CHAPTER 30

Author: Ivan
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

Going downstairs, I got Milka out of her high chair and brought her into the front room with me. She jumped off the sofa almost immediately and toddled over to her toy box. I let her go and turned on the TV.

It was right there:

IS THE LEAD SINGER OF DIRTY J. A DADDY?

Yes. Yes, he fucking is, and it’s none of your damn business, you nosy bitch.

Somehow I didn’t think Mark would be impressed if I sent that in to their “What Do You Think?” email address. The screen flicked to their reporter, and the backdrop was my house. I turned the volume up to listen.

“ . . . since his coming out yesterday to carry some groceries in, there have been no sightings of Conor or, indeed, any of Dirty J.”

Carrying groceries in was making news now? Don’t they have anything better to be doing?

“And what’s the general consensus outside the house this morning, Hanna? Is there any truth to the reports?”

“Unfortunately we don’t know. Dirty J’s representatives aren’t returning calls or emails, so one would assume
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    “I handled it just fine until I ended up playing personal assistant to three-quarters of Dirty J.” She frowned. “Is it like that everywhere you go? The girls all the time?”“You got caught up in that? Shit. They get . . . excited.”“Yeah, no kidding. Do girls often hand Aiden their underwear with their number scrawled inside?”My lips tugged up into a huge grin. “More often than you’d think.”“Classy.” She rolled her eyes. “Got any of your own?”“None that didn’t find their way into either the trash or my brothers’ pockets before I got back to my room.”I never took numbers. I never wanted numbers. Not theirs.“Really? I don’t believe that.”I shrugged. “You don’t have to, princess.”“Good thing, too,” she murmured, sipping her coffee. “Anyway. I shouldn’t have said what I did last night. It was out of order, so was pretending to go on a date with Bray. I’m sorry.”“I’d be apologizing for the shorts, personally.” My minds flashed back to that morning.And my eyes dropped to her hips,

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    The bitch wished.Conor continued staring at me, his eyes not flicking away for even a millisecond. “What did she tell you?”“Nothing that would bother me.”“Liar.”“Says who?”“Says your bright red cheeks. You always were a shit liar.”I snapped my eyes to him and grabbed my milk shake from the end of the table. “She tried to make me believe you two were . . . intimate . . . after I left.”Conor laughed, choking on his soda, and thumped his chest. “She told you what?”“Don’t make me say it again.” I screwed my face up and swirled my straw around my glass.“I wouldn’t fuck Tina with a ten-foot pole. No, ignore that. I wouldn’t touch her with a fifty-foot one, let alone fuck her with it.”“I don’t care.” I sipped slowly.“You should get your cheeks looked at. It can’t be good for them to be that red all the time.”“Screw you.”“You wish.”“You’re such a child.”“You bring it out in me. What can I say? I can’t help it.”“This is ridiculous. Did you really bring me to lunch so we could b

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    “Won’t your baby’s mom care?”“In,” he ordered me, shoving the car door open.I didn’t need telling twice. I threw myself into the car and he slammed the door. He ran around the front, shoving a photographer out of the way, and got in the driver side. He reved the engine in seconds, but it didn’t drown out their shouted questions.He pulled away from the diner. “We’ll have to go to my house. Your car will have to stay there. I’ll get you a rental.”“No point,” I muttered, sliding down in my seat. “They’ll probably know my name, address, and fucking bra size by morning.”He didn’t respond because he knew it was the truth. They’ll run the pictures and try to get as much information about the blonde girl with the scandal-surrounded singer. That was all that would matter to them.Who am I? And am I his baby’s mom?I brought my legs up and sunk my fingers into my hair, dropping my forehead to my knees. I knew this was a bad idea. I fucking told him so, and he didn’t listen to me.Every per

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    No matter how angry I was at her for saying she wished she’d never come back, she didn’t deserve what I said.Because she was justified. She was only trying to protect Milka. She was doing what came naturally to her. What should come naturally to me.Only I didn’t protect her. I did the exact opposite. I threatened her.“Fuck!”I rested my forearms against the nearest tree and leaned in. I stared at the ground and knocked the bark repeatedly with the end of my fists. My eyes burnt with guilty tears. For both Chloe and Milka.Neither of them deserved this. Not for a single fuckin’ second.“Well, you were on fire there.” Jane’s voice traveled across the yard.“If you’re out here to give me a piece of your mind, don’t bother. I already got it in my own head.”“Nah, she already gave you what you deserve, you jerk.”“Gee, thanks for the support.” I pushed off the tree and headed back into the house. “I don’t need you to remind me I fucked up. My daughter being here without her mother will

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    “You were out there, calmin’ yourself down. I had no intention of interrupting you,” Mom interrupted with a stern look. “You sure as hell need it after yesterday.”I ignored the annoyance that showed in her voice and walked past her into the house. “What time is she picking Milka up?”“In an hour,” Mom replied. “Leah texted me.”“Okay.” I kissed Milka’s head and placed some toast in the toaster. “She okay?”“Leah? She’s fine.”“You know I mean Chloe.”“How do you define ‘fine’?” she asked with an eyebrow raise. “Would you say you’re fine right now?”I’d take that as a no.My toast popped, and I spreaded peanut butter across each slice. I bit into it, the crunch satisfying, and leaned against the counter. The silence was tense and awkward.Until Aiden came in the front door looking like he slept outside all night.“Aiden!” Mom snapped. “Where have you been?”“Lay off it, Mom.” He went straight upstairs. Hopefully to shower.Titus snorted, walking into the kitchen. “Hey, bro, at least t

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    “Milka? Milka, baby, please take your fingers out of your nose.” I sighed and reached forward to dislodge them.She screamed and smacked the sofa. “No!” She immediately shoved them back up.“Milka hudson!” I pulled them out. “Do it again and you’re on the naughty step!”She stared at me defiantly and shoved two fingers of her other hand back in her nose.“That’s it. On the step.” I removed her fingers for the hundredth time today and lifted her by her armpits.I deposited her on the step and set the timer. I left it on the counter and went back into the front room, dropping to the sofa with a heavy sigh and rubbing my temples.Three days of this back-and-forth thing with Conor was driving me mad. Not only did I miss him ridiculously, Milka did, too, and she was making it known with bad behavior. Three hours of sleep last night had left my patience paper-thin, and I was ready to leave her in her crib and let her scream it out.She was screaming on the step, so it was not like there’ll

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    Hopefully.I stood slowly and tiptoed into her room, dipping to grab her bunny off my bed. I eased her into her crib, holding in my exhale when she went down without stirring. I spinned on my toes and started her CD player, letting Conor’s voice fill the room, and back out slowly.Slowly and silently.I pulled the door shut behind me, but before it even clicked, she screamed.I yanked it towards me anyway and rested my forehead against the door. “Please, Milka,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. “Mama needs sleep.”“No, no! Dadda, Mama, Dadda!” she sobbed.I thumped the door with my forehead in annoyance because, goddammit, now I was exhausted and crying.And I gave up. I absolutely gave up.I walked into my room, grabbed my phone from under my pillow, and dialed Conor’s number. I pressed Redial until he picked up.“Hello?” he groaned groggily.“Conor?”“Chloe? What’s wrong?”“She won’t sleep,” I said thickly. “She’s been up all night, crying for you. I can’t . . .”I pinched the b

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    “Respect and forgiveness don’t always go hand in hand. I understand.” I covered his hand with mine. “I wouldn’t forgive me or respect me, you know?”“But I do.” He tightened his grip on me slightly. “I do respect you. Shit, how many times have you done a night like that since she was born? How many times have you held her while she cried or taught her a new word? How many times has she screamed your name because she needed you, huh?”I shrugged a shoulder and averted my eyes.“Milka is amazing—strong-willed, yes, but amazing—and that’s because of you.” He tugged my face so I had to look at him again. “You. It doesn’t matter what you did, because what you’ve done since makes me respect you.”“Then at least hate me. C’mon, you gotta give me somethin’ I want.”“Never.” He lowered his face to mine and brushed his nose along mine. “I can’t hate you, Chloe. I tried. I tried so fucking hard, but I love you too damn much.”“It would be easier if you didn’t.”“Oh, yeah.” He pulled back, runnin

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    “You really want me to say it again?”She rubbed her hand down her face. “Are you insane? She hates you!”I smirked.“Titus . . .” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, obviously not that much, but a fake relationship? Do you even know what you’ve gotten yourself into?”“Yep,” Aiden replied for me. “Because unlike the rest of us, he’s the only one who’s had a successful relationship.”“As evidenced by the fact I am currently single,” I drawled sarcastically at my big brother. “Get a load of that success!”“Don’t be a little prick.”“Every big prick needs a little one.”“Dollars!” Milka shrieked, stomping across the room with her hand out and her chubby fingers clenching in a “gimme” motion. Dutifully, we both dug dollar bills out of our pockets and handed them over. “Tankoo.” She narrowed her bright blue eyes, then pointed at the space between us. “No fight! Bad Uncy Aid and Uncy Titus!”Chloe smiled behind her glass of juice.“She’s real bossy, you know that, right?” I looked at Chloe. “She’s

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    TITUSHoly. Shit.I was never, ever fucking putting this chick on the back of my bike ever again.If her arms around me wasn’t bad enough, it was her tits pressed solidly against my back and the fact I knew her pussy was rubbing my ass. Fuck. And in the tiny shorts she was wearing right now? It was a mega mindfuck.In fact, it was a fuck, fuck, fuck, kinda situation.As in why the fuck did I kiss her this morning? Why the hell did I bring her close just to shut her ex up? I shouldn’t give a shit. I should’ve taken the damn coffees, paid, and gotten the hell outta Dodge. But no. I had to plant some fucking seeds in Dodge, didn’t I? And then I had to water them by telling that douchebag that I’m her boyfriend.I had the funniest feeling that wasn’t gonna go down well.In fact, I was almost certain it was gonna go down like a shit ton of loose bricks in an earthquake.Still, though—I could feel her arms wrapped around me tightly, holding her body flush against mine, and it was different

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    “A frying pan to the face? Sure. Be my guest.”“Coffee, Ivana. I’d like to keep my job.”“Nah, it’s okay. I’ve gotta face him sometime.”“Ken!” She yelled into the kitchen at the chef. “Keep the fryin’ pans away from Jessie here!”“Yes, ma’am,” he called back, laughing.I might have a temper.“Y’all are like pins and needles in my ass,” I mumbled, finishing my coffee and putting the mug into the empty dishwasher. Adrina’s laugh rung through the café as she danced her way to the front door with the key dangling from her pointer finger.Chelsea was the first person through the door, and I blinked harshly. “Don’t look at me like that,” she hissed, stalking toward me. “You didn’t come home last night, did you?”“Say it a bit louder, Chels. I’m not sure my mom heard you.”She rolled her eyes and, glancing at the people behind her, ordered. “Latte, please, to go.” One more glance as I grabbed the takeout cup and she continued, “Why didn’t you text me? You should have texted me!”“Dude, seri

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    IVANAIt shouldn’t bother me.But, really, he must have a serious lack of class to just disappear while I slept.What kind of son of a bitch is Titus James? He’s sure as hell a disrespectful little shit, his sexual promises be damned. The fact he delivered on them can be damned, too.He’s real lucky I’m the kind of girl who sticks to her word. When I said no stories, no second times, no whatever it was I said while under the influence of cosmos, I meant it.As long as we never have to see each other again. That’d be fabulous. So basically, Santa Monica needed to expand by another few thousand people. Several thousand would be great. Like, twenty thousand.The chances of this happening are, I know, slim. But a girl can dream. A girl’s gotta dream if she wants to stay sane.A last-minute tour for Dirty J. would be epic. An impromptu concert on Mars would be even more epic.Jesus, what the heck was I thinking? Sleeping with Titus James? Did I have a temporary lapse in sanity last night?

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    Blondie’s smile dropped. “Yeah. Why? She your assistant or somethin’?”I smirked. “No, but I’m hirin’.”“Well, how about this.” She stepped forward and ran her finger down my arm. “I give you my number, and when you’re ready to interview, you can call me.”“Or how about you come back here this time next week and if I’m standing right here, you’ll know you got the job.” My lips tugged up even more.Agreeing to call a girl.Fuck. That.That was an amateur move.“Well played,” she whispered in my ear before stalking past me, making sure her tits brush my arm. Her hard, fake tits.I prefer real.The bathroom door opened and I looked up straight into the eyes of . . . my little sister. Leah took a deep breath and held her hand up at me, touching two fingers to her temples. Her ponytail swung as she shook her head. “Aw, hell no. I am not going to think about the fact that I just helped one of my best friends out of Spanx so she can fuck my brother.”She opened her eyes, and I scratched the

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    TITUSIvana Lawson reached back and grasped my forearm firmly, shoving my arm away from her like I was fire and she was gasoline. “I mind you touching me,” she replied. “What’s takin’ so long?” she yelled to the bartender.“Chill out, Ivana,” I murmured, moving closer to her and meeting the bartender’s eyes. “Can you hurry with that, babe?”She nodded and within two seconds, a cocktail glass full of perfectly red-pink liquid was placed in front of us.“That’s—”“And a bottle of Budweiser, thanks,” I demanded before she said the price. “Put it on my tab.”“I can pay for my own drink,” Ivana argued, her eyes sparking with defiance.“Sure you can, but that don’t mean you’re gonna.”“It means I will.” She riffled in her purse and slammed a ten into my chest. “Thank you, Titus, but no thank you.”I took the crisp bill from her hand and crumpled it up, crooking my finger in the collar of her dress. She gaped at me in disbelief as I pulled the fabric from her body and dropped the balled-up n

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