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CHAPTER 130
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2024-10-29 19:42:56
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Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 1
“Ouch! Shit!”I jumped back from the car and flapped my hand around. My finger stung like hell—and when I looked at it, I saw why. My nail had broken lifting a suitcase. Just another reason why coming back to Santa Monica was a mistake. If I’d stayed in Charlotte, at least all ten of my nails would still be intact.I sucked on my finger to soothe the sting and glanced through the back window of the car. Milka was still asleep, thankfully. If she was awake and caught me cussing there, she’d be shouting, “Mama! Bad!” and following it up with a few excited rounds of the bad word.I breathed a sigh of relief and moved back to the trunk. I gave the offending suitcase one last tug and it flied out of the car. The gravel crunched as it hit the floor, and I jumped to the side. I pulled the envelope the lawyer gave me out of the glove box and dug for the key. I found it hiding between the creased papers, and with another glance at Mila in the backseat, I walked to the front door.I hesitated,
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 2
“Dadddddyyyyy!” Milka clapped her hands.I turned around sharply. She pulled herself up on the TV stand and stared at the screen like a lovesick teenager. But my heart was thumping double time, my palms almost sweating. It took a few beats of the music to realize it was just Dirty J(Conor’s) latest song on MTV and not the man himself walking through the door.I forced a laugh at myself. Shit, I had been back in Santa Clarita for ten minutes, and I was already thinking James Conor would burst my door down for the daughter he didn’t even know existed.I ran my fingers through my hair. Crap.My stomach twisted with the same guilt I had carried around for nearly two and a half years—the guilt of keeping her away.Milka shrieked when Conor’s face filled the screen. He was smiling, his voice crooning through the speakers and sending wave after wave of tremors through my body. The way it always had. He was living the dream, his dream. I could never take that from him.I knew what I did was f
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 3
She tucked her ombré hair behind her ear. “You told Tina she wasn’t.”“I didn’t tell Tina a damn thing.” I opened my car door and got in, starting it before she could speak again.There was no way I could hold a conversation with her and not want to break down. I knew I wouldn’t get away with this trip to Santa Monica unscathed—but I thought I might be able to make it longer than a few hours without seeing the girl I spent my life attached to, my best friend.Without seeing his family. Milka’s family.I drove out of the parking lot and towards the house. I couldn’t think of it as mine yet. I didn’t know what I was doing with it yet. If I could move it to Charlotte, it would be perfect. . . . But I couldn’t. The house was here, and . . .I shook my head. I was not doing this today. There was plenty of time to make that decision. Right now, I had to focus on getting through today. On getting through this fucked-up situation I caused.I killed the engine in the driveway and got out as Le
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 4
“How the fuck are we going to get home without being stripped naked by local fangirls?” Titus shoved his phone in my face. “It’s a motherfucking mob!”I focused on the image on the screen. “Who sent you that?”“Leah. Said she’s never seen them so bad.”“Must be after you, bro,” I muttered, pushing his phone away.“Shit, Conor. I can take pussy, but not that much pussy. Well, not in one go, at least.” He smirked at me.“We’ll just go through the woods,” Carl shouted from the other end of the bus. “Get them to park behind Chloe’s old place, and we’ll cut through.”I swallowed the bitterness at the mention of Chloe’s name. Obviously, though, I don’t hide it too well, because Titus nudged me in the ribs.“Still brokenhearted, baby brother?”I clenched my jaw. “She disappeared without a fuckin’ word. It’s been two and half years. She ain’t my favorite person, but I’m not heartbroke.”He laughed. “I’m messin’ with ya, man. Shit, doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re still hung up on her.
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 5
I trudged forward with the knowledge she was really never coming back. That she was staying wherever the hell she was, and I’ll probably never find her again no matter how hard I try.She was gone. I should have accepted that two and a half years ago, but every time I came home I half-hoped she’ll be here, like a sad fucking kid hoping his lost dog would be home when he gets back from school.Home came into view with the gentle sound of waves crashing. Salty air overcame woodland as we moved closer to the sprawling property, expanded after we “made it.” I picked up the pace. Getting to the place I loved in this fucking town I hated was my priority. Being around my crazy-as-fuck family.Leah was waiting on the back porch, and the second she saw us, she jumped and clapped her hands over her mouth so she didn’t shout out. I guess she got the memo about the back-way homecoming, too.She hugged us, one by one, her hold on me lingering longer than on the others. The babies of the family, we
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 6
“Crap. Crap crap crap crap!”I leaned against Milka’s closed bedroom door and slid down it until my butt hit the floor and I was hugging my knees. My hands were trembling harder than they ever had before.Seeing him there, in front of me, had shaken me right to my core. He looked exactly like a memory come to life, only better. Hotter. Sexier. Infinitely more . . . Conor.His hair was still messy, his eyes still startlingly blue. They still betrayed every emotion he hid in his words, and I saw them all. Shock, bitterness, disbelief, anger, hurt. Each one flickered in and out of his gaze until he heard Milka and shock took over.But it was his jaw I noticed most. The one difference in his face, the strong curve I had kissed every inch of. It was once smooth, perfectly clean-shaven, but now it was rough, ghosted with the shadow of a few forgotten shaves.He was still tall and built, though. His shoulders were wider and his biceps were more defined. His half sleeve peeked out from beneat
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 7
Leah grunted in response, and I snatched the controller up and turned off the television. “No! No! No! Conor! No!” Milka screeched, waving her arms frantically. “Noooo!” I covered my eyes with my hand briefly. “Baby girl, you can dance later, okay?” “No! Conor now! Noooow!” Leah coughed. My head snapped around to her, and the second our eyes met, I knew she had just gotten the confirmation she was looking for. I took a deep breath and shook my head, telling her no, we’re still not talking, and grabbed Milka’s dolly. “Come on. Into the stroller.” She continued, screaming about “Conor now! Conor now, Mama!” I strapped her in and did a quick check of her bag to make sure I had everything I needed. Leah followed us out of the door and I locked it behind us. The sun was getting hot above us, a beacon of brightness in a clear blue sky. For the first time in a long time, the view was unencumbered by skyscrapers and high-rises. It was pure and free and completely beautiful. I breathed
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 8
Thump. My heart pounded almost painfully, and it took everything I had to turn around. Because as much as I could stare at him all day, I didn’t want to.I didn’t want to look at him and remember lying on the beach. I didn’t want my mind to be flooded by memories of late nights in the woods. I didn’t want to remember my dad smiling knowingly the next morning but never wringing my ass out. I didn’t want to remember Conor’s touch or his kiss or his smile or fucking anything about him.Yet I turned, because his gaze was anything but avoidable. It was compelling, pleading, conflicted, like he wanted to drink me up but pushed me away at the same time.I swallowed, running my eyes up his body. I couldn’t help but notice the way his jeans hugged his hips or the way his T-shirt clinged to his chest and arms or the way a few teenage girls were standing feet behind him giggling into their hands.His gaze traveled from me to the only child in the park—mine. Ours. I watched as he stared at her ha
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Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 130
I was kind of annoyed at his short response, but I was equally amused at his smugness about it. And his amusement—damn, I wanted to laugh while I slap it off his handsome face.For the first time, it stroke me that this fake relationship could be rather dangerous.I stayed quiet as we drove down the country road that’ll take us to Percival Town, a couple of miles up the coast. I had been before—it was the stereotypical little beach town, more so than Santa Monica, even—but it wasn’t my favorite place. For one, the size of the town and its population made Santa Monica looked like a minuscule village unworthy of a supermarket or school of its own, and almost everyone who lived there acted like they were from a city, when they were not.We also had a high school football rivalry, so that could play in, especially since I was head cheerleader and may or may not have gotten into a catfight with Percival’s head cheerleader in senior year.Who also happened to be Titus’s girlfriend at the tim
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 129
IVANA“You’re going out with Titus James? Like on a date? Or out out? Or just as friends?” Sussy’s eyes bugged out of her head. “And you didn’t invite me?”I paused from applying my mascara and looked at her incredulous expression in the mirror. “Come right on into my room, Sus. It was okay. I only might have been naked, or you know, masturbating or something.”“That’s gross.”“So is your obsession with Dirty J.” I gave her a sarcastic smile and went back to my makeup. “But no, it is not a date.”“Uh-huh . . .” she trailed off, and when I screwed my mascara brush back into the tube, she shoved her phone at me. “Then why does Twitter say you’re his girlfriend?”I shrugged and brushed my bangs out. “I saw this meme on Facebook that said Abraham Lincoln once said you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”My sister looked at me like I was dumb. “The Internet was invented after Lincoln died.”“Precisely. It’s called sarcasm.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone from the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 128
“You really want me to say it again?”She rubbed her hand down her face. “Are you insane? She hates you!”I smirked.“Titus . . .” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, obviously not that much, but a fake relationship? Do you even know what you’ve gotten yourself into?”“Yep,” Aiden replied for me. “Because unlike the rest of us, he’s the only one who’s had a successful relationship.”“As evidenced by the fact I am currently single,” I drawled sarcastically at my big brother. “Get a load of that success!”“Don’t be a little prick.”“Every big prick needs a little one.”“Dollars!” Milka shrieked, stomping across the room with her hand out and her chubby fingers clenching in a “gimme” motion. Dutifully, we both dug dollar bills out of our pockets and handed them over. “Tankoo.” She narrowed her bright blue eyes, then pointed at the space between us. “No fight! Bad Uncy Aid and Uncy Titus!”Chloe smiled behind her glass of juice.“She’s real bossy, you know that, right?” I looked at Chloe. “She’s
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER127
TITUSHoly. Shit.I was never, ever fucking putting this chick on the back of my bike ever again.If her arms around me wasn’t bad enough, it was her tits pressed solidly against my back and the fact I knew her pussy was rubbing my ass. Fuck. And in the tiny shorts she was wearing right now? It was a mega mindfuck.In fact, it was a fuck, fuck, fuck, kinda situation.As in why the fuck did I kiss her this morning? Why the hell did I bring her close just to shut her ex up? I shouldn’t give a shit. I should’ve taken the damn coffees, paid, and gotten the hell outta Dodge. But no. I had to plant some fucking seeds in Dodge, didn’t I? And then I had to water them by telling that douchebag that I’m her boyfriend.I had the funniest feeling that wasn’t gonna go down well.In fact, I was almost certain it was gonna go down like a shit ton of loose bricks in an earthquake.Still, though—I could feel her arms wrapped around me tightly, holding her body flush against mine, and it was different
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 126
“I always wondered what it’d be like to fuck you. Now I know.”“Isn’t this a conversation for your right hand?”“No, but it could be for yours.”“Only if that hand is around your neck.” I snatched said hand out of his and placed it on my hip. “What do you want? Why are you here?”“Come with me,” he said, his shoulders rising and falling. “Please?”“A James boy saying please? Did I die and go to hell? ’Cause y’all sure ain’t goin’ to heaven.”His lips twitched. “Vanny.”I took two steps away from him.“Ivana,” he corrected himself. “Come on. Just for ten minutes.”“Take me home,” I demanded, turning back to him. “Let me get changed, and then I’ll consider it.”He took a deep breath, his eyes intent on me as he obviously considered it. “Fine.” He grabbed my hand once more and tugged me between two buildings and onto Main Street.I shielded my eyes from the sunlight before sliding my sunglasses down as we stepped from the shadows created by the alleyway, almost falling after him. He led
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 125
“A frying pan to the face? Sure. Be my guest.”“Coffee, Ivana. I’d like to keep my job.”“Nah, it’s okay. I’ve gotta face him sometime.”“Ken!” She yelled into the kitchen at the chef. “Keep the fryin’ pans away from Jessie here!”“Yes, ma’am,” he called back, laughing.I might have a temper.“Y’all are like pins and needles in my ass,” I mumbled, finishing my coffee and putting the mug into the empty dishwasher. Adrina’s laugh rung through the café as she danced her way to the front door with the key dangling from her pointer finger.Chelsea was the first person through the door, and I blinked harshly. “Don’t look at me like that,” she hissed, stalking toward me. “You didn’t come home last night, did you?”“Say it a bit louder, Chels. I’m not sure my mom heard you.”She rolled her eyes and, glancing at the people behind her, ordered. “Latte, please, to go.” One more glance as I grabbed the takeout cup and she continued, “Why didn’t you text me? You should have texted me!”“Dude, seri
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 124
IVANAIt shouldn’t bother me.But, really, he must have a serious lack of class to just disappear while I slept.What kind of son of a bitch is Titus James? He’s sure as hell a disrespectful little shit, his sexual promises be damned. The fact he delivered on them can be damned, too.He’s real lucky I’m the kind of girl who sticks to her word. When I said no stories, no second times, no whatever it was I said while under the influence of cosmos, I meant it.As long as we never have to see each other again. That’d be fabulous. So basically, Santa Monica needed to expand by another few thousand people. Several thousand would be great. Like, twenty thousand.The chances of this happening are, I know, slim. But a girl can dream. A girl’s gotta dream if she wants to stay sane.A last-minute tour for Dirty J. would be epic. An impromptu concert on Mars would be even more epic.Jesus, what the heck was I thinking? Sleeping with Titus James? Did I have a temporary lapse in sanity last night?
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 123
Blondie’s smile dropped. “Yeah. Why? She your assistant or somethin’?”I smirked. “No, but I’m hirin’.”“Well, how about this.” She stepped forward and ran her finger down my arm. “I give you my number, and when you’re ready to interview, you can call me.”“Or how about you come back here this time next week and if I’m standing right here, you’ll know you got the job.” My lips tugged up even more.Agreeing to call a girl.Fuck. That.That was an amateur move.“Well played,” she whispered in my ear before stalking past me, making sure her tits brush my arm. Her hard, fake tits.I prefer real.The bathroom door opened and I looked up straight into the eyes of . . . my little sister. Leah took a deep breath and held her hand up at me, touching two fingers to her temples. Her ponytail swung as she shook her head. “Aw, hell no. I am not going to think about the fact that I just helped one of my best friends out of Spanx so she can fuck my brother.”She opened her eyes, and I scratched the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 122
TITUSIvana Lawson reached back and grasped my forearm firmly, shoving my arm away from her like I was fire and she was gasoline. “I mind you touching me,” she replied. “What’s takin’ so long?” she yelled to the bartender.“Chill out, Ivana,” I murmured, moving closer to her and meeting the bartender’s eyes. “Can you hurry with that, babe?”She nodded and within two seconds, a cocktail glass full of perfectly red-pink liquid was placed in front of us.“That’s—”“And a bottle of Budweiser, thanks,” I demanded before she said the price. “Put it on my tab.”“I can pay for my own drink,” Ivana argued, her eyes sparking with defiance.“Sure you can, but that don’t mean you’re gonna.”“It means I will.” She riffled in her purse and slammed a ten into my chest. “Thank you, Titus, but no thank you.”I took the crisp bill from her hand and crumpled it up, crooking my finger in the collar of her dress. She gaped at me in disbelief as I pulled the fabric from her body and dropped the balled-up n
