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CHAPTER 8
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Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 9
He snorted and left me to it on the deck, ever the caring older brother. Reminded me not to deal with his health care when he was shitting in adult diapers.I dragged my eyes from the door and toward the beach. Since I left, touring across America, I thought the first thing I’d do when I got home was sit on the beach and take in the fierce rush of the white foam against the beach, the echoing crash of the waves against the sand.I thought I would breathe it in, the scent of home. Of the rich, enticing aroma of Mama’s cooking mixing with the saltiness of the sea. I thought I would relish it, that I’d close my eyes and relax as the stress of the tour washed out of me.I thought I’d stand in the farm-style kitchen, laughing with my family. That I’d sit out there on the deck with my sister and get all the gossip. That Mom would need another spice rack put up in the kitchen or a bookshelf in Dad’s office.I thought wrong.I got up to grabbed another beer and twirled the bottle, resting my
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 10
Two and a half years. I couldn’t even fantasize what I had missed because of her.Leah wrapped her arms around me from behind and laid her cheek against my back. I turned and crushed her in my arms. She rubbed her hands up my back and let me cry into her.I was right.Chloe was unforgivable.My vision was blurred. My head pounded with emotion and a hangover, and I rubbed my temples in a vain attempt to ease it. Titus walked in the room with a glass of cold water and Paractemol, and I took them, throwing the tablets to the back of my throat before drinking the whole glass.“Thanks,” I croaked.“No problem. Mom wants to know how you are, but I won’t insult you by asking.” He smirked.I laughed bitterly and leaned back against the bed. “The fuck do I do, Titus? Two and a half years and she shows up in town, with my kid. Did she think I wouldn’t find out?”“She was hoping you wouldn’t,” Leah said softly from the doorway.“Did you know?” Titus snapped. “I swear to God, Leah . . .”“No!” sh
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 11
“We need to talk,” he demanded. There was no room for arguments in his tone, but I was going to give him one right now.“It’ll have to wait. Milka’s not asleep yet.”“It’s okay. Leah came along. Said she’ll watch her.” He motioned to his truck, and seconds later his sister stepped out.“I don’t . . . I mean . . . She doesn’t really know her,” I finished lamely. That was a pathetic reason.“And whose fault is that, Chloe?” Conor’s eyes hardened, ice edging his voice.I opened my mouth and closed it again. “I know,” I said on a swallow.“The least you can do is let our daughter get to know her aunt while we try and sort out the shitstorm you created.”“Watch your language!” I snapped.“If you want me to watch my language, I suggest you get your ass into my car in the next five seconds.” He pulled his keys from pocket. “You’ve already taken enough of her from us, so cut the crap.”“Conor!” Leah smacked his arm. “You can’t say that!”“No, he can. He’s right.” I sighed, running my fingers
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 12
“That’s why I didn’t tell you! I knew you’d give it all up. I knew you’d walk away from everythin’ you’d ever dreamed, and I didn’t want you to do that. I couldn’t make you do that.”His eyes met mine with an intensity that made me step back. “What if you were my dream, Chloe? What if I’d have done anythin’ you’d asked?”“But you wouldn’t have! You would have given it all up for her.”“Anything you asked, I would have done it, even if it meant spending time away from you and Milka. I would have done it to give you and her the best life I could have.”I shook my head.“You don’t believe me? You don’t think I was so fuckin’ in love with you that you had me wrapped around your baby finger?”Was.Was.Was . . .“It doesn’t matter!” I threw my arms out and fought back the tears that had sprung to the corners of my eyes. “I made a decision based on what I thought was best at the time. Was it the wrong one? Yes. Hell yeah it was! I should have told you. You should have known about her from t
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 13
I needed, just a minute, to know if she was still my Chloe.I rubbed my hand down my face. I’d gotta stop thinking that shit—she was right in what she said. This wasn’t about us, not really. This was about our daughter, our baby girl.“I’ll take you home,” I said, nudging her in the direction of the truck. She shuffled towards it with her shoulders hunched and her arms wrapped around herself.It hurt me to see her hurting this badly. It sliced through me. But she fucking should feel it. She should feel the pain I was feeling.I still couldn’t believe she kept my daughter from me. And I didn’t buy her reason—not entirely. There was more to it than just what she was telling me.I got in the truck after her and pulled away from my house. There wasn’t a part of me that gave a shit that my brothers were watching from the porch or that they heard me tell her I was still in love with her. They knew that shit.They knew I loved her when she was seven and fell off the rocks into the sea. They
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 14
And that didn’t just disappear.My chest tightened as I breathed in the candy-smell of Milka’s hair. As I breathed in a past I missed and a future I never will. As I breathed in heartbreak and hope.Milka suddenly gasped and wriggled of my arms. “Son? Dadda son?”My eyes flicked between her and Chloe. Chloe laughed on a sob.“Song,” she whispered. “She wants you to sing her a song.”“Oh! A song! Let’s see . . .” I swooped Milka up in my arms. “Row, row, row, your boat . . .”“No!” She laughed anyway. “Dadda son.”“One of yours,” Chloe clarified, hugging herself. “She doesn’t like nursery rhymes. She’s your kid, for sure.”Milka grinned.“Okay, what one?” Am I seriously asking a two-year-old what to sing? “Oh, I know. This one.”I hummed the melody and she squealed happily. I took that as a yes. I launched into the opening line, singing softly. I knew it because I wrote it, and I knew Chloe knew it, too, because she was there when I did.That night, she switched out half the words beca
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 15
I nodded and sipped the coffee.“Smart-ass,” he muttered. “Is she going for a nap soon?”I knew where this was going. “Yes, after lunch, and yes, we’ll talk then.”He sipped his drink slowly, his eyes on mine. “Good.”Silence hovered between us for a long moment, and then . . .“Mama? Mama? SARS!”I sat on the sofa to the daily “no nap” chorus being shouted from upstairs and brought my legs up, wrapping my arms around my knees and hugging my thighs to my chest. My chin rested on the top of my knees, and I stared at a spot on the wall over the top of Conor’s head.“She do that often?” he asked, breaking through the silence.Without Milka there, it was tense. Unfortunately his words didn’t snap that tension, just the silence.“Every single day,” I replied. “Give her two minutes, and she’ll give up and go to sleep.”“Stubborn, huh?”“She learned from the best,” I muttered to myself.Conor caught it anyway, and his lips twitched. “You said it.”Before, I would have flicked my foot out and
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 16
Milka. Not us.I repeated this like a mantra, because it would be so easy to be us again.Two and a half years had passed, secrets had broken hearts, and emotions had been twisted into complete messes, but nothing had changed.Not really.And I didn’t have a damn clue what to do about that.“Back so soon?” Chloe snapped and opened the door.A smirk tugged at my lips. I couldn’t help it. I was mad at her, sure, but if I couldn’t appreciate the way those baby blues sparked at me when she was mad, I’m a shit excuse for a man.“It would appear that way,” I answered.“Don’t you have better things to do?”“Like what?” I threw at her as I walked into the house.“Oh, I don’t know. Practice, maybe? Fight off rabid fangirls? Get in said fangirls’ pants?”“Jealously doesn’t suit you, princess.” I smirked again. “Where’s Milka?”“In the yard screaming ‘bunny.’ One came out of the woods an hour ago and she thought it was for her.” She shut the door and followed me through. “And I’m not jealous. I
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Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 130
I was kind of annoyed at his short response, but I was equally amused at his smugness about it. And his amusement—damn, I wanted to laugh while I slap it off his handsome face.For the first time, it stroke me that this fake relationship could be rather dangerous.I stayed quiet as we drove down the country road that’ll take us to Percival Town, a couple of miles up the coast. I had been before—it was the stereotypical little beach town, more so than Santa Monica, even—but it wasn’t my favorite place. For one, the size of the town and its population made Santa Monica looked like a minuscule village unworthy of a supermarket or school of its own, and almost everyone who lived there acted like they were from a city, when they were not.We also had a high school football rivalry, so that could play in, especially since I was head cheerleader and may or may not have gotten into a catfight with Percival’s head cheerleader in senior year.Who also happened to be Titus’s girlfriend at the tim
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 129
IVANA“You’re going out with Titus James? Like on a date? Or out out? Or just as friends?” Sussy’s eyes bugged out of her head. “And you didn’t invite me?”I paused from applying my mascara and looked at her incredulous expression in the mirror. “Come right on into my room, Sus. It was okay. I only might have been naked, or you know, masturbating or something.”“That’s gross.”“So is your obsession with Dirty J.” I gave her a sarcastic smile and went back to my makeup. “But no, it is not a date.”“Uh-huh . . .” she trailed off, and when I screwed my mascara brush back into the tube, she shoved her phone at me. “Then why does Twitter say you’re his girlfriend?”I shrugged and brushed my bangs out. “I saw this meme on Facebook that said Abraham Lincoln once said you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”My sister looked at me like I was dumb. “The Internet was invented after Lincoln died.”“Precisely. It’s called sarcasm.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone from the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 128
“You really want me to say it again?”She rubbed her hand down her face. “Are you insane? She hates you!”I smirked.“Titus . . .” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, obviously not that much, but a fake relationship? Do you even know what you’ve gotten yourself into?”“Yep,” Aiden replied for me. “Because unlike the rest of us, he’s the only one who’s had a successful relationship.”“As evidenced by the fact I am currently single,” I drawled sarcastically at my big brother. “Get a load of that success!”“Don’t be a little prick.”“Every big prick needs a little one.”“Dollars!” Milka shrieked, stomping across the room with her hand out and her chubby fingers clenching in a “gimme” motion. Dutifully, we both dug dollar bills out of our pockets and handed them over. “Tankoo.” She narrowed her bright blue eyes, then pointed at the space between us. “No fight! Bad Uncy Aid and Uncy Titus!”Chloe smiled behind her glass of juice.“She’s real bossy, you know that, right?” I looked at Chloe. “She’s
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER127
TITUSHoly. Shit.I was never, ever fucking putting this chick on the back of my bike ever again.If her arms around me wasn’t bad enough, it was her tits pressed solidly against my back and the fact I knew her pussy was rubbing my ass. Fuck. And in the tiny shorts she was wearing right now? It was a mega mindfuck.In fact, it was a fuck, fuck, fuck, kinda situation.As in why the fuck did I kiss her this morning? Why the hell did I bring her close just to shut her ex up? I shouldn’t give a shit. I should’ve taken the damn coffees, paid, and gotten the hell outta Dodge. But no. I had to plant some fucking seeds in Dodge, didn’t I? And then I had to water them by telling that douchebag that I’m her boyfriend.I had the funniest feeling that wasn’t gonna go down well.In fact, I was almost certain it was gonna go down like a shit ton of loose bricks in an earthquake.Still, though—I could feel her arms wrapped around me tightly, holding her body flush against mine, and it was different
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 126
“I always wondered what it’d be like to fuck you. Now I know.”“Isn’t this a conversation for your right hand?”“No, but it could be for yours.”“Only if that hand is around your neck.” I snatched said hand out of his and placed it on my hip. “What do you want? Why are you here?”“Come with me,” he said, his shoulders rising and falling. “Please?”“A James boy saying please? Did I die and go to hell? ’Cause y’all sure ain’t goin’ to heaven.”His lips twitched. “Vanny.”I took two steps away from him.“Ivana,” he corrected himself. “Come on. Just for ten minutes.”“Take me home,” I demanded, turning back to him. “Let me get changed, and then I’ll consider it.”He took a deep breath, his eyes intent on me as he obviously considered it. “Fine.” He grabbed my hand once more and tugged me between two buildings and onto Main Street.I shielded my eyes from the sunlight before sliding my sunglasses down as we stepped from the shadows created by the alleyway, almost falling after him. He led
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 125
“A frying pan to the face? Sure. Be my guest.”“Coffee, Ivana. I’d like to keep my job.”“Nah, it’s okay. I’ve gotta face him sometime.”“Ken!” She yelled into the kitchen at the chef. “Keep the fryin’ pans away from Jessie here!”“Yes, ma’am,” he called back, laughing.I might have a temper.“Y’all are like pins and needles in my ass,” I mumbled, finishing my coffee and putting the mug into the empty dishwasher. Adrina’s laugh rung through the café as she danced her way to the front door with the key dangling from her pointer finger.Chelsea was the first person through the door, and I blinked harshly. “Don’t look at me like that,” she hissed, stalking toward me. “You didn’t come home last night, did you?”“Say it a bit louder, Chels. I’m not sure my mom heard you.”She rolled her eyes and, glancing at the people behind her, ordered. “Latte, please, to go.” One more glance as I grabbed the takeout cup and she continued, “Why didn’t you text me? You should have texted me!”“Dude, seri
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 124
IVANAIt shouldn’t bother me.But, really, he must have a serious lack of class to just disappear while I slept.What kind of son of a bitch is Titus James? He’s sure as hell a disrespectful little shit, his sexual promises be damned. The fact he delivered on them can be damned, too.He’s real lucky I’m the kind of girl who sticks to her word. When I said no stories, no second times, no whatever it was I said while under the influence of cosmos, I meant it.As long as we never have to see each other again. That’d be fabulous. So basically, Santa Monica needed to expand by another few thousand people. Several thousand would be great. Like, twenty thousand.The chances of this happening are, I know, slim. But a girl can dream. A girl’s gotta dream if she wants to stay sane.A last-minute tour for Dirty J. would be epic. An impromptu concert on Mars would be even more epic.Jesus, what the heck was I thinking? Sleeping with Titus James? Did I have a temporary lapse in sanity last night?
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 123
Blondie’s smile dropped. “Yeah. Why? She your assistant or somethin’?”I smirked. “No, but I’m hirin’.”“Well, how about this.” She stepped forward and ran her finger down my arm. “I give you my number, and when you’re ready to interview, you can call me.”“Or how about you come back here this time next week and if I’m standing right here, you’ll know you got the job.” My lips tugged up even more.Agreeing to call a girl.Fuck. That.That was an amateur move.“Well played,” she whispered in my ear before stalking past me, making sure her tits brush my arm. Her hard, fake tits.I prefer real.The bathroom door opened and I looked up straight into the eyes of . . . my little sister. Leah took a deep breath and held her hand up at me, touching two fingers to her temples. Her ponytail swung as she shook her head. “Aw, hell no. I am not going to think about the fact that I just helped one of my best friends out of Spanx so she can fuck my brother.”She opened her eyes, and I scratched the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 122
TITUSIvana Lawson reached back and grasped my forearm firmly, shoving my arm away from her like I was fire and she was gasoline. “I mind you touching me,” she replied. “What’s takin’ so long?” she yelled to the bartender.“Chill out, Ivana,” I murmured, moving closer to her and meeting the bartender’s eyes. “Can you hurry with that, babe?”She nodded and within two seconds, a cocktail glass full of perfectly red-pink liquid was placed in front of us.“That’s—”“And a bottle of Budweiser, thanks,” I demanded before she said the price. “Put it on my tab.”“I can pay for my own drink,” Ivana argued, her eyes sparking with defiance.“Sure you can, but that don’t mean you’re gonna.”“It means I will.” She riffled in her purse and slammed a ten into my chest. “Thank you, Titus, but no thank you.”I took the crisp bill from her hand and crumpled it up, crooking my finger in the collar of her dress. She gaped at me in disbelief as I pulled the fabric from her body and dropped the balled-up n
