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CHAPTER 13

Author: Ivan
last update Last Updated: 2022-08-25 19:48:03

I needed, just a minute, to know if she was still my Chloe.

I rubbed my hand down my face. I’d gotta stop thinking that shit—she was right in what she said. This wasn’t about us, not really. This was about our daughter, our baby girl.

“I’ll take you home,” I said, nudging her in the direction of the truck. She shuffled towards it with her shoulders hunched and her arms wrapped around herself.

It hurt me to see her hurting this badly. It sliced through me. But she fucking should feel it. She should feel the pain I was feeling.

I still couldn’t believe she kept my daughter from me. And I didn’t buy her reason—not entirely. There was more to it than just what she was telling me.

I got in the truck after her and pulled away from my house. There wasn’t a part of me that gave a shit that my brothers were watching from the porch or that they heard me tell her I was still in love with her. They knew that shit.

They knew I loved her when she was seven and fell off the rocks into the sea. They
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    And that didn’t just disappear.My chest tightened as I breathed in the candy-smell of Milka’s hair. As I breathed in a past I missed and a future I never will. As I breathed in heartbreak and hope.Milka suddenly gasped and wriggled of my arms. “Son? Dadda son?”My eyes flicked between her and Chloe. Chloe laughed on a sob.“Song,” she whispered. “She wants you to sing her a song.”“Oh! A song! Let’s see . . .” I swooped Milka up in my arms. “Row, row, row, your boat . . .”“No!” She laughed anyway. “Dadda son.”“One of yours,” Chloe clarified, hugging herself. “She doesn’t like nursery rhymes. She’s your kid, for sure.”Milka grinned.“Okay, what one?” Am I seriously asking a two-year-old what to sing? “Oh, I know. This one.”I hummed the melody and she squealed happily. I took that as a yes. I launched into the opening line, singing softly. I knew it because I wrote it, and I knew Chloe knew it, too, because she was there when I did.That night, she switched out half the words beca

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    I nodded and sipped the coffee.“Smart-ass,” he muttered. “Is she going for a nap soon?”I knew where this was going. “Yes, after lunch, and yes, we’ll talk then.”He sipped his drink slowly, his eyes on mine. “Good.”Silence hovered between us for a long moment, and then . . .“Mama? Mama? SARS!”I sat on the sofa to the daily “no nap” chorus being shouted from upstairs and brought my legs up, wrapping my arms around my knees and hugging my thighs to my chest. My chin rested on the top of my knees, and I stared at a spot on the wall over the top of Conor’s head.“She do that often?” he asked, breaking through the silence.Without Milka there, it was tense. Unfortunately his words didn’t snap that tension, just the silence.“Every single day,” I replied. “Give her two minutes, and she’ll give up and go to sleep.”“Stubborn, huh?”“She learned from the best,” I muttered to myself.Conor caught it anyway, and his lips twitched. “You said it.”Before, I would have flicked my foot out and

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  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 16

    Milka. Not us.I repeated this like a mantra, because it would be so easy to be us again.Two and a half years had passed, secrets had broken hearts, and emotions had been twisted into complete messes, but nothing had changed.Not really.And I didn’t have a damn clue what to do about that.“Back so soon?” Chloe snapped and opened the door.A smirk tugged at my lips. I couldn’t help it. I was mad at her, sure, but if I couldn’t appreciate the way those baby blues sparked at me when she was mad, I’m a shit excuse for a man.“It would appear that way,” I answered.“Don’t you have better things to do?”“Like what?” I threw at her as I walked into the house.“Oh, I don’t know. Practice, maybe? Fight off rabid fangirls? Get in said fangirls’ pants?”“Jealously doesn’t suit you, princess.” I smirked again. “Where’s Milka?”“In the yard screaming ‘bunny.’ One came out of the woods an hour ago and she thought it was for her.” She shut the door and followed me through. “And I’m not jealous. I

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    She ran my order through without a word, and it was only when she placed the bunny into a bag that I noticed her hesitating.“Is something wrong?”“Would you—would you mind signing an autograph for my granddaughter?” she asked shyly. “I don’t like to ask but she’d kill me if I didn’t.”I smiled widely. “Of course, ma’am. Do you have a pen and something to write on?”She beamed at me and handed me a pen and paper. “Her name is Alice.”I winked again and scrawled a quick note to her, scribbling my name at the bottom. “Thanks for your help today, ma’am. I appreciate it.”“No problem!” She waved as I took my purchases and headed toward the door.I carried them out to my truck, where a suspicious-looking group of teen girls had magically appeared.Fantastic.This was why you never send security for a break.I gritted my teeth and headed for the truck, trying not to get annoyed about them touching it. “Excuse me, ladies.”Giggles.Giggles.I fucking hated giggles.I ignored their gasps beca

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    Breathing, because I couldn’t when she was around.I felt guilty for being an asshole to her, yet I had no reason whatsoever to be nice to her for even a second. That was the thing about being the guy who was always nice to the girl. Even when a good dose of dickhead is warranted, that guilt sneaked in, ready to tear you apart.Ironic, given how she tore me apart.I stalked back into the house and grabbed her phone.“What’re you doin’?” she asked.I dialed my number, and when my phone rung in my pocket, I ended the call. I threw the phone on the sofa next to her.“When she wakes up, call me. You’re bringing her to my house tonight.”“I am, huh?” She straightened.I nodded, finding her eyes. I stared her down, pinning her in place with my gaze. “Yeah, princess, you are. So make sure she’s got everything she needs. It’s about time she met her family.”******* ********* **********“You forget how to answer your phone, you dick?” Aiden yelled when I walked through the door.“The fuck did

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    With one last push, I left the woods and arrived in Conor’s yard. My stomach churned with nervousness, because I had no idea what kind of reception I was going to get when I walked into the Conor household.Conor opened the back door and waved me over. He came down the porch steps. “Get her out. I’ll lift the stroller.”“I’m never doing that again,” I warned him. “That was impossible.”He half-rolled his eyes. “I’ll push her back.”Damn straight you were. “Thanks,” I said once he was picked up the stroller.I lifted Milka up the steps and set her on the top. Conor grabbed her bag and held out his hand. Milka reached out and wrapped her chubby fingers around one of his, and I wrapped my arms around myself.Shit. I wanted to be anywhere but there.I followed him to the door but paused in the doorway. Leah was already there, making Milka giggle, but only his mom, Diana, was in sight.“Chloe!” She took off her oven mitts and turned to me. “How are you, darlin’?”Her arms came around me in

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    Bray reached beneath the table and gave my knee a gentle squeeze. I offered a lame half-smile and pushed some chicken around my plate.“So, Chloe.” Diana cut through the silence with her happy tone. “Where you been, darlin’?”Cut the silence, not the awkwardness.“Oh. Florida,” I answered, making sure Milka had a bite on her spoon now that it was cooled. “I rented a small apartment on the outskirts of the city.”“That’s lovely! And still so close.”“I didn’t want to be too far from Dad because of his treatment.”“Absolutely.” She nodded. “And here some gossips were saying you were in a Colombian prison for being a drug mule.”I raised an eyebrow. “Really? How did they even get there?”Aiden grinned across the table.“That was you?” Leah shrieked. “What the hell!”“Chill, Leah!” he said, laughing. “I thought I’d add something funny into it. All it takes is a text message from a blocked number to Nancy and everyone knows.”I covered my hand with my mouth and laughed into it. “And she th

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  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 21

    “Jesus, Chloe. Let me push her back. You said yourself it was hard for you.”I took a deep breath and let go of the stroller, letting him take control. I wouldn’t argue in front of Milka. I’ll save it for later instead.Because there was bound to be a later, and if not, there’ll be a sooner. Either one worked for me.I trudged along behind him, and I was secretly thankful he pushed her. It was hard work before, and now it was getting dark. . . . And, yeah. I hated the dark.After several minutes we ended up at my yard and I dug for my key. I let us in through the back and Conor unstrapped Milka.“Can I put her to bed?” he asked.“I’ll get her some pajamas.” I turned and went upstairs to her room, checking she had everything in there. Double-checking. Triple-checking. Wishing I could take the CD out of the player because now it seemed so damn stupid.Hey, I kept your baby from you, but it’s totally okay because you still sing her to sleep every night.I banged my head against the wall

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    I was kind of annoyed at his short response, but I was equally amused at his smugness about it. And his amusement—damn, I wanted to laugh while I slap it off his handsome face.For the first time, it stroke me that this fake relationship could be rather dangerous.I stayed quiet as we drove down the country road that’ll take us to Percival Town, a couple of miles up the coast. I had been before—it was the stereotypical little beach town, more so than Santa Monica, even—but it wasn’t my favorite place. For one, the size of the town and its population made Santa Monica looked like a minuscule village unworthy of a supermarket or school of its own, and almost everyone who lived there acted like they were from a city, when they were not.We also had a high school football rivalry, so that could play in, especially since I was head cheerleader and may or may not have gotten into a catfight with Percival’s head cheerleader in senior year.Who also happened to be Titus’s girlfriend at the tim

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    IVANA“You’re going out with Titus James? Like on a date? Or out out? Or just as friends?” Sussy’s eyes bugged out of her head. “And you didn’t invite me?”I paused from applying my mascara and looked at her incredulous expression in the mirror. “Come right on into my room, Sus. It was okay. I only might have been naked, or you know, masturbating or something.”“That’s gross.”“So is your obsession with Dirty J.” I gave her a sarcastic smile and went back to my makeup. “But no, it is not a date.”“Uh-huh . . .” she trailed off, and when I screwed my mascara brush back into the tube, she shoved her phone at me. “Then why does Twitter say you’re his girlfriend?”I shrugged and brushed my bangs out. “I saw this meme on Facebook that said Abraham Lincoln once said you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”My sister looked at me like I was dumb. “The Internet was invented after Lincoln died.”“Precisely. It’s called sarcasm.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone from the

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    “You really want me to say it again?”She rubbed her hand down her face. “Are you insane? She hates you!”I smirked.“Titus . . .” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, obviously not that much, but a fake relationship? Do you even know what you’ve gotten yourself into?”“Yep,” Aiden replied for me. “Because unlike the rest of us, he’s the only one who’s had a successful relationship.”“As evidenced by the fact I am currently single,” I drawled sarcastically at my big brother. “Get a load of that success!”“Don’t be a little prick.”“Every big prick needs a little one.”“Dollars!” Milka shrieked, stomping across the room with her hand out and her chubby fingers clenching in a “gimme” motion. Dutifully, we both dug dollar bills out of our pockets and handed them over. “Tankoo.” She narrowed her bright blue eyes, then pointed at the space between us. “No fight! Bad Uncy Aid and Uncy Titus!”Chloe smiled behind her glass of juice.“She’s real bossy, you know that, right?” I looked at Chloe. “She’s

  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER127

    TITUSHoly. Shit.I was never, ever fucking putting this chick on the back of my bike ever again.If her arms around me wasn’t bad enough, it was her tits pressed solidly against my back and the fact I knew her pussy was rubbing my ass. Fuck. And in the tiny shorts she was wearing right now? It was a mega mindfuck.In fact, it was a fuck, fuck, fuck, kinda situation.As in why the fuck did I kiss her this morning? Why the hell did I bring her close just to shut her ex up? I shouldn’t give a shit. I should’ve taken the damn coffees, paid, and gotten the hell outta Dodge. But no. I had to plant some fucking seeds in Dodge, didn’t I? And then I had to water them by telling that douchebag that I’m her boyfriend.I had the funniest feeling that wasn’t gonna go down well.In fact, I was almost certain it was gonna go down like a shit ton of loose bricks in an earthquake.Still, though—I could feel her arms wrapped around me tightly, holding her body flush against mine, and it was different

  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 126

    “I always wondered what it’d be like to fuck you. Now I know.”“Isn’t this a conversation for your right hand?”“No, but it could be for yours.”“Only if that hand is around your neck.” I snatched said hand out of his and placed it on my hip. “What do you want? Why are you here?”“Come with me,” he said, his shoulders rising and falling. “Please?”“A James boy saying please? Did I die and go to hell? ’Cause y’all sure ain’t goin’ to heaven.”His lips twitched. “Vanny.”I took two steps away from him.“Ivana,” he corrected himself. “Come on. Just for ten minutes.”“Take me home,” I demanded, turning back to him. “Let me get changed, and then I’ll consider it.”He took a deep breath, his eyes intent on me as he obviously considered it. “Fine.” He grabbed my hand once more and tugged me between two buildings and onto Main Street.I shielded my eyes from the sunlight before sliding my sunglasses down as we stepped from the shadows created by the alleyway, almost falling after him. He led

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    “A frying pan to the face? Sure. Be my guest.”“Coffee, Ivana. I’d like to keep my job.”“Nah, it’s okay. I’ve gotta face him sometime.”“Ken!” She yelled into the kitchen at the chef. “Keep the fryin’ pans away from Jessie here!”“Yes, ma’am,” he called back, laughing.I might have a temper.“Y’all are like pins and needles in my ass,” I mumbled, finishing my coffee and putting the mug into the empty dishwasher. Adrina’s laugh rung through the café as she danced her way to the front door with the key dangling from her pointer finger.Chelsea was the first person through the door, and I blinked harshly. “Don’t look at me like that,” she hissed, stalking toward me. “You didn’t come home last night, did you?”“Say it a bit louder, Chels. I’m not sure my mom heard you.”She rolled her eyes and, glancing at the people behind her, ordered. “Latte, please, to go.” One more glance as I grabbed the takeout cup and she continued, “Why didn’t you text me? You should have texted me!”“Dude, seri

  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 124

    IVANAIt shouldn’t bother me.But, really, he must have a serious lack of class to just disappear while I slept.What kind of son of a bitch is Titus James? He’s sure as hell a disrespectful little shit, his sexual promises be damned. The fact he delivered on them can be damned, too.He’s real lucky I’m the kind of girl who sticks to her word. When I said no stories, no second times, no whatever it was I said while under the influence of cosmos, I meant it.As long as we never have to see each other again. That’d be fabulous. So basically, Santa Monica needed to expand by another few thousand people. Several thousand would be great. Like, twenty thousand.The chances of this happening are, I know, slim. But a girl can dream. A girl’s gotta dream if she wants to stay sane.A last-minute tour for Dirty J. would be epic. An impromptu concert on Mars would be even more epic.Jesus, what the heck was I thinking? Sleeping with Titus James? Did I have a temporary lapse in sanity last night?

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    Blondie’s smile dropped. “Yeah. Why? She your assistant or somethin’?”I smirked. “No, but I’m hirin’.”“Well, how about this.” She stepped forward and ran her finger down my arm. “I give you my number, and when you’re ready to interview, you can call me.”“Or how about you come back here this time next week and if I’m standing right here, you’ll know you got the job.” My lips tugged up even more.Agreeing to call a girl.Fuck. That.That was an amateur move.“Well played,” she whispered in my ear before stalking past me, making sure her tits brush my arm. Her hard, fake tits.I prefer real.The bathroom door opened and I looked up straight into the eyes of . . . my little sister. Leah took a deep breath and held her hand up at me, touching two fingers to her temples. Her ponytail swung as she shook her head. “Aw, hell no. I am not going to think about the fact that I just helped one of my best friends out of Spanx so she can fuck my brother.”She opened her eyes, and I scratched the

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    TITUSIvana Lawson reached back and grasped my forearm firmly, shoving my arm away from her like I was fire and she was gasoline. “I mind you touching me,” she replied. “What’s takin’ so long?” she yelled to the bartender.“Chill out, Ivana,” I murmured, moving closer to her and meeting the bartender’s eyes. “Can you hurry with that, babe?”She nodded and within two seconds, a cocktail glass full of perfectly red-pink liquid was placed in front of us.“That’s—”“And a bottle of Budweiser, thanks,” I demanded before she said the price. “Put it on my tab.”“I can pay for my own drink,” Ivana argued, her eyes sparking with defiance.“Sure you can, but that don’t mean you’re gonna.”“It means I will.” She riffled in her purse and slammed a ten into my chest. “Thank you, Titus, but no thank you.”I took the crisp bill from her hand and crumpled it up, crooking my finger in the collar of her dress. She gaped at me in disbelief as I pulled the fabric from her body and dropped the balled-up n

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