CHAPTER 5

I trudged forward with the knowledge she was really never coming back. That she was staying wherever the hell she was, and I’ll probably never find her again no matter how hard I try.

She was gone. I should have accepted that two and a half years ago, but every time I came home I half-hoped she’ll be here, like a sad fucking kid hoping his lost dog would be home when he gets back from school.

Home came into view with the gentle sound of waves crashing. Salty air overcame woodland as we moved closer to the sprawling property, expanded after we “made it.” I picked up the pace. Getting to the place I loved in this fucking town I hated was my priority. Being around my crazy-as-fuck family.

Leah was waiting on the back porch, and the second she saw us, she jumped and clapped her hands over her mouth so she didn’t shout out. I guess she got the memo about the back-way homecoming, too.

She hugged us, one by one, her hold on me lingering longer than on the others. The babies of the family, we had always been the closest, and leaving her every time we need to record or tour hurts a little.

Then our parents were there, a whirlwind of hugs and kissed cheeks and smiles. Two months since we saw them when we flew them to Vegas. Too long.

Mom produced her famous meat pie, and a smile stretched across my face. Oh yeah. That’s a fuckin’ homecoming all right.

We sat at the dinner table and went over the tour details. Yes, we were tired. No, we were not overworking. Yes, we got our eyes tested last week like we promised her we would, and nearly caused a fucking riot in the optician’s. But no, we’re not overindulging in women or alcohol, Titus lied on that last one.

I chewed my way through dinner, quieter than the others. My mind was stuck on Chloe’s house. Did they really sell it? Is someone else really living in the house where I fell in love with her?

“Leah?” I nudged my sister. “Can I ask you something?” I whispered.

She nodded, still chewing.

“Did Chloe and Paul sell the house?”

She shook her head, then swallowed. “No. Why?”

“I saw someone there when we walked past. Paul isn’t back yet, is he?”

She opened her mouth, then shut it again. Her throat bobed as she swallowed.

“Leah. What are you hiding?”

She shook her head for a second time, her eyes widening. Shit. She was a terrible liar.

“Tell me. Now!”

Everyone looked at us, but my eyes stayed on my sister. My chest tightening. My stomach clenching.

Because I knew what she was going to fucking say before she did.

“She’s back,” she murmured. “Yesterday.”

“Fuck!” I pushed my chair back and stood.

The hell? After all this time, she’s back now? What kind of fucked-up bullshit is this?

“I didn’t know she was coming back,” Leah said quietly. “And it’s not my place to tell you. Besides, she kicked me out.”

My fists clenched at my sides. Shit. I was angry. I was pissed. I was so fucking lost I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel.

“Conor,” Aiden warned, standing.

My lips thin into a line. “Don’t,” I said, backing toward the door. “Just fuckin’ don’t.”

I pushed it open and jumped off the porch, heading back for the woods. It hurt, the desire to see her. It burnt through my veins, consuming me, until I had tunnel vision. I saw only the end destination as I ran through the trees, and that destination was her. Her house.

Her.

The truth I knew she won’t give me.

The truth she fucking owed me.

I stopped at the edge of her yard. There was no defining line, so it spilled over into the woods, which always made it easy for her when she’d sneak out to meet me.

I leaned against the nearest tree and inhaled deeply. Shit. No. This wasn’t about how I loved her. It was about why she left me. It was about why I was standing there, half an hour after getting home, floundering like a little bitch outside her house.

With another harsh inhale I pushed off the tree and stormed up to her back door. I rapped my knuckles against the glass before I could change my mind. And again when an answer didn’t come.

I was lifting my fist for the third fucking time when it openws.

And she was there.

Blonde, wavy hair, wide blue eyes, quivering pink lips, shaking hands.

My eyes drunk her in. I ran my gaze over every inch of her like a man starved, desperate for the only thing that would ease the pain. Shit, she was fucking gorgeous. Even more than I rememberws. She was not the girl I fell in love with, all awkward and soft.

She was a woman now, smoothly curved in all the right places, rougher, sexier.

I brought my eyes to hers and saw the shock there.

She was still my fucking Chloe.

“You’re back.”

She parted her lips but nothing came out.

“Why?”

“I have to sort things here.” She dropped her hand from the door and wrapped her arms around her waist.

“Then what, you’re going again? Disappearing like you weren’t ever here?”

“I haven’t decided what I’m doing,” she whispered. “I just got here yesterday.”

I ran my eyes over her face. Those lips. Fuck. Over two years, and I wanted to kiss them as much as I did then. “Took you fuckin’ long enough.”

“How do you know I’m here? You just got back yourself.”

“Keepin’ tabs, Chloe?” I leaned against the doorframe and raised my eyebrows. “Leah told me you were here.”

“I thought as much. And no, I’m not keeping tabs on you, Conor. Why would I?”

I leaned forward, and unabled to resist, I pushed some hair back from her face. “I don’t know, princess. You tell me.”

She smacked my hand away. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? That’s what you are, isn’t it? Untouchable. Fuckin’ unreachable.”

A fire roared in her eyes, a mixture of anger and despair. “Get the hell away from me.”

“Pushing me away again?”

“Go, Conor!” she yelled, her eyes fixed on me. “I don’t want you here.”

Her eyes told me different. Her eyes told me she wanted to grab me and hold me, fold herself into my arms the way she used to. Her eyes told me she wanted to lie next to me and trace the lines of the tattoo on my upper arm until my skin is raw from her touch.

Her mouth was a fucking liar.

“Tough shit. I’m here all summer.” I couldn’t help the smirk, the knowing.

She glared at me despite the longing in her gaze, and then, a baby cried. A scream of “Mama,” and my heart stopped. Shock courses through my body, and I shoved my foot in the door before she could slam it.

“Chloe?”

“Go away!” she cried, throwing all her weight into the door.

I moved my foot and it slammed, deafeningly, the sound echoing through me.

She’s got a kid.

A fucking kid.

I stared at the door, hearing her quiet sobs as she tried to soothe a baby I never knew about.

I wanted to knock on that door. I wanted to smack so hard on the glass that it smashed, because she’s got a goddamn motherfucking kid.

My Chloe. Has a kid.

I kept staring, my heart thumping, my stomach in knots at seeing her again. I turned away, despite the urge still begging my fist to tear through that glass. Is that why she left? A baby?

Mine?

Someone else’s?

Did she leave because the kid isn’t mine? Fuck.