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CHAPTER 34

Author: Ivan
last update Last Updated: 2022-09-04 19:09:16

No matter how angry I was at her for saying she wished she’d never come back, she didn’t deserve what I said.

Because she was justified. She was only trying to protect Milka. She was doing what came naturally to her. What should come naturally to me.

Only I didn’t protect her. I did the exact opposite. I threatened her.

“Fuck!”

I rested my forearms against the nearest tree and leaned in. I stared at the ground and knocked the bark repeatedly with the end of my fists. My eyes burnt with guilty tears. For both Chloe and Milka.

Neither of them deserved this. Not for a single fuckin’ second.

“Well, you were on fire there.” Jane’s voice traveled across the yard.

“If you’re out here to give me a piece of your mind, don’t bother. I already got it in my own head.”

“Nah, she already gave you what you deserve, you jerk.”

“Gee, thanks for the support.” I pushed off the tree and headed back into the house. “I don’t need you to remind me I fucked up. My daughter being here without her mother will
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    “Milka? Milka, baby, please take your fingers out of your nose.” I sighed and reached forward to dislodge them.She screamed and smacked the sofa. “No!” She immediately shoved them back up.“Milka hudson!” I pulled them out. “Do it again and you’re on the naughty step!”She stared at me defiantly and shoved two fingers of her other hand back in her nose.“That’s it. On the step.” I removed her fingers for the hundredth time today and lifted her by her armpits.I deposited her on the step and set the timer. I left it on the counter and went back into the front room, dropping to the sofa with a heavy sigh and rubbing my temples.Three days of this back-and-forth thing with Conor was driving me mad. Not only did I miss him ridiculously, Milka did, too, and she was making it known with bad behavior. Three hours of sleep last night had left my patience paper-thin, and I was ready to leave her in her crib and let her scream it out.She was screaming on the step, so it was not like there’ll

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    Hopefully.I stood slowly and tiptoed into her room, dipping to grab her bunny off my bed. I eased her into her crib, holding in my exhale when she went down without stirring. I spinned on my toes and started her CD player, letting Conor’s voice fill the room, and back out slowly.Slowly and silently.I pulled the door shut behind me, but before it even clicked, she screamed.I yanked it towards me anyway and rested my forehead against the door. “Please, Milka,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. “Mama needs sleep.”“No, no! Dadda, Mama, Dadda!” she sobbed.I thumped the door with my forehead in annoyance because, goddammit, now I was exhausted and crying.And I gave up. I absolutely gave up.I walked into my room, grabbed my phone from under my pillow, and dialed Conor’s number. I pressed Redial until he picked up.“Hello?” he groaned groggily.“Conor?”“Chloe? What’s wrong?”“She won’t sleep,” I said thickly. “She’s been up all night, crying for you. I can’t . . .”I pinched the b

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