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CHAPTER 37

Author: Ivan
last update Last Updated: 2022-09-06 18:40:08

Hopefully.

I stood slowly and tiptoed into her room, dipping to grab her bunny off my bed. I eased her into her crib, holding in my exhale when she went down without stirring. I spinned on my toes and started her CD player, letting Conor’s voice fill the room, and back out slowly.

Slowly and silently.

I pulled the door shut behind me, but before it even clicked, she screamed.

I yanked it towards me anyway and rested my forehead against the door. “Please, Milka,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. “Mama needs sleep.”

“No, no! Dadda, Mama, Dadda!” she sobbed.

I thumped the door with my forehead in annoyance because, goddammit, now I was exhausted and crying.

And I gave up. I absolutely gave up.

I walked into my room, grabbed my phone from under my pillow, and dialed Conor’s number. I pressed Redial until he picked up.

“Hello?” he groaned groggily.

“Conor?”

“Chloe? What’s wrong?”

“She won’t sleep,” I said thickly. “She’s been up all night, crying for you. I can’t . . .”

I pinched the b
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    “Respect and forgiveness don’t always go hand in hand. I understand.” I covered his hand with mine. “I wouldn’t forgive me or respect me, you know?”“But I do.” He tightened his grip on me slightly. “I do respect you. Shit, how many times have you done a night like that since she was born? How many times have you held her while she cried or taught her a new word? How many times has she screamed your name because she needed you, huh?”I shrugged a shoulder and averted my eyes.“Milka is amazing—strong-willed, yes, but amazing—and that’s because of you.” He tugged my face so I had to look at him again. “You. It doesn’t matter what you did, because what you’ve done since makes me respect you.”“Then at least hate me. C’mon, you gotta give me somethin’ I want.”“Never.” He lowered his face to mine and brushed his nose along mine. “I can’t hate you, Chloe. I tried. I tried so fucking hard, but I love you too damn much.”“It would be easier if you didn’t.”“Oh, yeah.” He pulled back, runnin

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  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 39

    “Whoa, what did I do?” Chloe exclaimed.“Not you! Her!” My sister practically growled and shoved the magazine at us.I took it and looked at the article. It was the one about us, the one confirming Chloe as my “baby mama.” I scanned it and looked for the part where it says who they interviewed.“Son of a bitch!” Chloe shrieked. “I told you!”“Mama bad! Bad!” Milka cried.Chloe slapped a hand over her mouth. “Sorry. Mama forgot.”Dad came in then and stole Milka from Aiden. “Sand?” he said, and Milka suddenly forgot about Chloe’s slipup.Chloe watched as Dad grabbed the bucket and shovel from the kitchen cabinet and disappeared outside. No sooner had the back door shut than she blew up at Aiden.“I swear, Aiden, if you ever sleep with that girl again, I’m going to personally carve your balls off with a plastic picnic knife!” Chloe shoved his shoulder. “Hell, you speak to her, and I’ll do it. She can fuck with me, but she doesn’t get to play games with my daughter.”If I thought she was

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  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 40

    And now, looking at Chloe, watching her stare out of the window to where Milka was playing with Dad on the beach, I wondered if there was going to be a romance to go along with that scandal at all.************** ******************* *************** *******************Chloe’s head poped up in the tree house. She gave me a weak smile and climbed up, then sat next to me. She stared out of the window to where Milka was playing on the beach.Our daughter was running circles around my family on the sand. Bray already had to go change clothes because he underestimated the splash power of a toddler in the shallows.At least that put a smile on Chloe’s face. She had been stone-faced since that morning, her stare scarily intense. I didn’t blame her. I could practically taste the fear radiating off her. I could see the uncertainty whenever she moved, because her hands trembled, like she was freezing and couldn’t warm up.I rested my arm over her shoulders and snatched up her hand. Her fingers s

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    He nodded. “Just as much. We’ll just do what we said. Keep Milka at our house tonight, then try and sneak her back through the woods tomorrow.”Yeah. That insane idea.“Great,” I mumbled into my hand.Another night alone in the house didn’t appeal to me. It was too big, too creaky, too full of memories. I didn’t want to be there alone, not for a second. But I didn’t have a choice, it seemed.“Hey, you don’t have to leave her, y’know?”“Yeah? And where am I going to sleep?” I raised my eyebrows.“Well . . .”I looked at him flatly. “In your bed, really?”“I was goin’ to say Leah’s room.”“Sure. I believe you.” I turned away, ignoring the spark of desire that ignited in my lower stomach.“Geez, a guy thinks with his dick for five seconds and it’s wrong.”“Inappropriate! Not wrong.”“So you’re sayin’ I can think of you naked?”“Like you need my permission!” I snapped.“The shorts don’t help,” he admitted. “I try not to, but it’s hard.”“Oh, I bet it is.” I folded my arms across my chest

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  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 42

    “You don’t have any jiggly bits.”“Yes, I do. I have jiggly bits and stretch marks.” I grabbed some of Milka’s clothes out of Dad’s drawers.“It didn’t bother you when I was carrying you up the damn stairs not so long ago.”“It was dark,” I offered lamely. That, and I was too consumed by him to think about the flub for even a second. “My body’s not perfect, and it’s sure as hell not what you’re used to.”“You think I care about perfect?” He sounded half angry and half confused.“I do,” I said softly.I swallowed and grabbed Milka’s bag. Conor stepped up behind me, grasping my hips, and pulled me back. I could feel his dick, hard, digging into my back, and his breath cascaded over my neck.He ran his hands up my sides, following the curve of my waist, and back down. He slid them around to my stomach. I inhaled but he didn’t falter. His hands eased up my stomach, hovering just below my breasts, then fell back down.“You’re right,” he whispered huskily in my ear. “I do care about perfect

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  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 43

    People say a little of something is better than a lot of nothing.They’re wrong. They’re so fucking wrong it’s unbelievable.A little of Chloe wasn’t better than none of her. It was the worst kind of torture, because a little always leaves you wanting more.A little of her, her lips across mine, her fingers digging into my skin, her legs around my waist, was worse than if she’d shoved me off her and told me she didn’t want me.If I hadn’t had her beneath me earlier, curled around me, making those tiny, happy noises into my mouth, I wouldn’t be burning with the urge to touch her and finish what we started.My fingers wouldn’t be twitching with the intense urge to rip her shirt over her head and see that so-called imperfect stomach. I wouldn’t be dying to run my lips over her breasts and down her body to her hips. I wouldn’t be so fucking desperate to pull those shorts down her legs along with her underwear and tease her until she’s wet and ready for me.I wouldn’t be so fucking turned

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  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 44

    “Isn’t that how it happens? An epiphany from a break in the clouds as I stand on the beach?”Bray coughed to hide his laughter.“And this is why she’s mad at you.” Leah raised her eyebrows. “Honestly, for a guy that pens some of the best love songs on the radio, you’re like a bull in a china shop tryna navigate real-life romance.”“All right then, you tell me what I gotta do if you’re so damn smart.”“Something big. Something that will make her kiss you instead of the other way around. Something that will make her realize you’re really thinking about her.”I frowned, staring at her. Like fucking what? “I’m sure you think that’s helpin’, but it ain’t.”My sister sighed heavily. “Something just for her, Conor. Do something for her. Give her something.”“Orgasms count as something,” Bray added.“No, they don’t. Shut up,” Leah snapped. “You two are like a couple teen boys workin’ out how to get laid. You really are. I’m not standing here trying to sort out your shit if you’re gonna be a d

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  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER 45

    Maybe that was why I was so desperate to stop her from being mad.Maybe it was not for her at all. Maybe it was because I was too fucking selfish to see her hurt.But it wasn’t about me.It was about Chloe and Milka.Because of Milka, a part of Chloe will always belong to me. It didn’t matter whether that part lives inside our daughter or not. A part of her would always be mine, and it’ll always be living inside me, because no matter what she says, she’s mine.She can fight it. She can deny it. She can scream at me. She can walk away from me.It wouldn’t change that Chloe Hidson was irrevocably fucking mine.**************** *************** ***************************“Eight hours without talkin’. Did I say I’m impressed?”“You should be more impressed that it’s been eight hours after an argument and he hasn’t cornered me and kissed me yet,” I muttered in response.Leah raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want to know.” She jumped on her bed and bounced a couple of times before settling. “I f

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    “You really want me to say it again?”She rubbed her hand down her face. “Are you insane? She hates you!”I smirked.“Titus . . .” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, obviously not that much, but a fake relationship? Do you even know what you’ve gotten yourself into?”“Yep,” Aiden replied for me. “Because unlike the rest of us, he’s the only one who’s had a successful relationship.”“As evidenced by the fact I am currently single,” I drawled sarcastically at my big brother. “Get a load of that success!”“Don’t be a little prick.”“Every big prick needs a little one.”“Dollars!” Milka shrieked, stomping across the room with her hand out and her chubby fingers clenching in a “gimme” motion. Dutifully, we both dug dollar bills out of our pockets and handed them over. “Tankoo.” She narrowed her bright blue eyes, then pointed at the space between us. “No fight! Bad Uncy Aid and Uncy Titus!”Chloe smiled behind her glass of juice.“She’s real bossy, you know that, right?” I looked at Chloe. “She’s

  • Dirty Little Secrets   CHAPTER127

    TITUSHoly. Shit.I was never, ever fucking putting this chick on the back of my bike ever again.If her arms around me wasn’t bad enough, it was her tits pressed solidly against my back and the fact I knew her pussy was rubbing my ass. Fuck. And in the tiny shorts she was wearing right now? It was a mega mindfuck.In fact, it was a fuck, fuck, fuck, kinda situation.As in why the fuck did I kiss her this morning? Why the hell did I bring her close just to shut her ex up? I shouldn’t give a shit. I should’ve taken the damn coffees, paid, and gotten the hell outta Dodge. But no. I had to plant some fucking seeds in Dodge, didn’t I? And then I had to water them by telling that douchebag that I’m her boyfriend.I had the funniest feeling that wasn’t gonna go down well.In fact, I was almost certain it was gonna go down like a shit ton of loose bricks in an earthquake.Still, though—I could feel her arms wrapped around me tightly, holding her body flush against mine, and it was different

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    “I always wondered what it’d be like to fuck you. Now I know.”“Isn’t this a conversation for your right hand?”“No, but it could be for yours.”“Only if that hand is around your neck.” I snatched said hand out of his and placed it on my hip. “What do you want? Why are you here?”“Come with me,” he said, his shoulders rising and falling. “Please?”“A James boy saying please? Did I die and go to hell? ’Cause y’all sure ain’t goin’ to heaven.”His lips twitched. “Vanny.”I took two steps away from him.“Ivana,” he corrected himself. “Come on. Just for ten minutes.”“Take me home,” I demanded, turning back to him. “Let me get changed, and then I’ll consider it.”He took a deep breath, his eyes intent on me as he obviously considered it. “Fine.” He grabbed my hand once more and tugged me between two buildings and onto Main Street.I shielded my eyes from the sunlight before sliding my sunglasses down as we stepped from the shadows created by the alleyway, almost falling after him. He led

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    “A frying pan to the face? Sure. Be my guest.”“Coffee, Ivana. I’d like to keep my job.”“Nah, it’s okay. I’ve gotta face him sometime.”“Ken!” She yelled into the kitchen at the chef. “Keep the fryin’ pans away from Jessie here!”“Yes, ma’am,” he called back, laughing.I might have a temper.“Y’all are like pins and needles in my ass,” I mumbled, finishing my coffee and putting the mug into the empty dishwasher. Adrina’s laugh rung through the café as she danced her way to the front door with the key dangling from her pointer finger.Chelsea was the first person through the door, and I blinked harshly. “Don’t look at me like that,” she hissed, stalking toward me. “You didn’t come home last night, did you?”“Say it a bit louder, Chels. I’m not sure my mom heard you.”She rolled her eyes and, glancing at the people behind her, ordered. “Latte, please, to go.” One more glance as I grabbed the takeout cup and she continued, “Why didn’t you text me? You should have texted me!”“Dude, seri

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    IVANAIt shouldn’t bother me.But, really, he must have a serious lack of class to just disappear while I slept.What kind of son of a bitch is Titus James? He’s sure as hell a disrespectful little shit, his sexual promises be damned. The fact he delivered on them can be damned, too.He’s real lucky I’m the kind of girl who sticks to her word. When I said no stories, no second times, no whatever it was I said while under the influence of cosmos, I meant it.As long as we never have to see each other again. That’d be fabulous. So basically, Santa Monica needed to expand by another few thousand people. Several thousand would be great. Like, twenty thousand.The chances of this happening are, I know, slim. But a girl can dream. A girl’s gotta dream if she wants to stay sane.A last-minute tour for Dirty J. would be epic. An impromptu concert on Mars would be even more epic.Jesus, what the heck was I thinking? Sleeping with Titus James? Did I have a temporary lapse in sanity last night?

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    Blondie’s smile dropped. “Yeah. Why? She your assistant or somethin’?”I smirked. “No, but I’m hirin’.”“Well, how about this.” She stepped forward and ran her finger down my arm. “I give you my number, and when you’re ready to interview, you can call me.”“Or how about you come back here this time next week and if I’m standing right here, you’ll know you got the job.” My lips tugged up even more.Agreeing to call a girl.Fuck. That.That was an amateur move.“Well played,” she whispered in my ear before stalking past me, making sure her tits brush my arm. Her hard, fake tits.I prefer real.The bathroom door opened and I looked up straight into the eyes of . . . my little sister. Leah took a deep breath and held her hand up at me, touching two fingers to her temples. Her ponytail swung as she shook her head. “Aw, hell no. I am not going to think about the fact that I just helped one of my best friends out of Spanx so she can fuck my brother.”She opened her eyes, and I scratched the

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    TITUSIvana Lawson reached back and grasped my forearm firmly, shoving my arm away from her like I was fire and she was gasoline. “I mind you touching me,” she replied. “What’s takin’ so long?” she yelled to the bartender.“Chill out, Ivana,” I murmured, moving closer to her and meeting the bartender’s eyes. “Can you hurry with that, babe?”She nodded and within two seconds, a cocktail glass full of perfectly red-pink liquid was placed in front of us.“That’s—”“And a bottle of Budweiser, thanks,” I demanded before she said the price. “Put it on my tab.”“I can pay for my own drink,” Ivana argued, her eyes sparking with defiance.“Sure you can, but that don’t mean you’re gonna.”“It means I will.” She riffled in her purse and slammed a ten into my chest. “Thank you, Titus, but no thank you.”I took the crisp bill from her hand and crumpled it up, crooking my finger in the collar of her dress. She gaped at me in disbelief as I pulled the fabric from her body and dropped the balled-up n

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